Devil, yet an Angel

Alex's P.O.V.

I was expecting anything but this. Never would have I guessed that my ex would should up on in the middle of a Saturday night saying that he wants me back.

I was suprised when he kissed me. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel any butterflies. It is Zack after all. He's the guy I have loved the most in my life. He's the person I've shared the most things with. He has always been there for me, and I missed him.

On the other hand, there was Jack. Sweet Jack. How rapidly I got attached to this guy. I never would have thought that I would get so closed to him. I got to know him and I found out that he was the funniest and sweetest person I've ever met.

I was going crazy when we kissed. All those butterflies erupted in my stomach. It felt right and amazing. I knew what he was going to ask me before Zack showed up. He was going to ask me to be his boyfriend and I know that I would have said yes.

But Zack had to show up and confuse me with hiss kiss. How can he just come here and tell me that he still wants me? He dumped me and he hurt me. A part of me was mad at him. A part of me just wanted to punch him and tell that I did not want to see him ever again.

That part of me just wanted to go in Jack's room and be his. Jack makes me feel good about myself. Jack is unique and I like him a lot. I feel so protective towards him, I just want him to be happy. Whenever I'm near him, I can't help but smile. He's my sunshine, I need him in my life.

Another part of me just wanted to jump on Zack and make love to him. I just wanted him to be mine again. I could not deny that I still had feelings for him. I can't erase all the thing that we have shared.

One thing I needed was explanations. That's why I sat on the couch with Zack by my side. He was the first to talk.

''I miss you Alex,'' Zack said. ''I've done a stupid mistake by breaking up with you.''

''You hurt me Zack, you really did,'' I replied. ''I trusted with everything I had in me and you dumped me just like that. Why should I give you another chance? Why should I trust you once again?''

''Because I love you Alex. I love you with everything I have in me and I took a stupid decision by breaking up with you. Not a day has passed where I haven't been thinking about you. I feel so empty without your love, your hugs and your kisses,'' Zack said.

''What if we fight again Zack? You couldn't handle me at my worst last time, what tells me that you will this time? What tells me that you won't go breaking my heart again and again? I don't want to hurt anymore Zack,'' I replied.

''I don't how I can make you trust me. I know it must be hard for you. Believe me when I say that I love you and that I want you. I'm so stupid Alex, so stupid. I should have tried to understand why you were acting the way you did instead of avoiding it and just break up. I want you back, that's the only thing I really want. Please give me another chance,'' Zack explained.

I knew he meant every single word that he said. I know Zack better than he knows himself. I can tell when he's speaking the truth. And what he just told me was the truth.

''Okay,'' I replied.

''Okay?'' Zack asked.

''Let's pick up where we left off,'' I answered.

''Really?'' He wondered happily.

''Yeah, I think that's the right thing to do. I've been missing you too,'' I said.

He carassed my cheek and leaned in to kiss me tenderly. I kissed him back, happy to have my Zack back in my life. The kiss quickly turned into a heated make out session. I knew where this would lead, and I wasn't going to refuse it.

''I'm going to make love to you, okay?'' Zack asked as we broke the kiss, reaching for hair.

''I wouldn't want it any other way. But there's something I need to do first. Wait for me in my room?'' I replied.

''Don't take too long, I need you,'' Zack said before pecking my nose.

He headed to my room while I headed to Jack's. I needed to tell him. I knew it would hurt him, but he would understand, right? He would understand that Zack was my first real love and that it was okay for me to go back to him.

It's not like we were in a relationship. Maybe I got attached to him quickly because I needed comfort. Maybe my feelings for him weren't that real. They were just amplified because I needed someone to comfort me and make me feel better. But I did feel incredible things when I kissed him and fell asleep next to him.

I had to make a decision. And to me, going back to Zack seemed to be the right one.

I took a deep breath before opening Jack's door. He was on his bed listening to music on his iPod. He looked at me with a small smile, taking off his headphones. This was going to be harder than I thought it would be.

''Hey...'' I said nervously. ''We need to talk...''

''You went back to him, don't you?'' He asked sadly. I could even see that his eyes were getting watery.

''Yes...'' I replied.

''I thought you liked me...'' Jack said crying. ''I-I thought you wanted to be with me.''

''I do like you Jack. I care about you, it's just that...man this is so hard. If the guy you thought was the love of your life came back to you saying he wants you back, you would go back to him, right? Well that's what's happening right now...''I explained.

''Not if I liked somebody else. You kissed me Alex. You told me that you liked me a lot. We were so happy together. I was there when he wasn't. I trusted you not to make me sad, and you did. I-I don't want to talk you anymore. Please leave my room,'' Jack replied.

''I'm sorry Jack...I didn't want to make you sad,'' I said sadly. Hurting Jack was the last thing I wanted to do.

''Spare it,'' He said harshly. He put his headphones back on, not looking at me anymore. I left his room and has soon as I closed the door, he started to cry. Good job Alex.

I went to my room where my boyfriend was waiting for me happily. I took the right decision, right? It was the right choice to get back with Zack, it must be.

Zack stood up and pushed me against the wall, kissing me passionately. As our tongues fought for dominance and as our hands roamed against each other's body, I had one image in mind.

I couldn't stop thinking about Jack and how hurt he was when I told him I was back with Zack. I could not push away the thought that I made him sad.

I put an end to my make out session with Zack and pushed him away gently. I was not in the mood anymore. I never really was.

''What's wong?'' He asked.

''I-I'm just tired,'' I lied. ''Can we just sleep, please?''

''You're killing me, Alex,'' Zack replied. ''But sure, let's sleep. We'll get back to this tomorrow.''

With that said, we both took off our shirts and pants, leaving us only wearing our boxers. I closed the lights and joined him in my bed.

''Good night baby,'' He said, lightly pecking my lips.

''Night,'' I replied.

It felt good to be in his arms once again, but they weren't Jack's. They weren't the ones I got addicted to, they didn't feel as good as Jack's.

Little did I know that I might have took the wrong decision. I shouldn't be thinking that much about him. I should not have him in mind when my boyfriend's about to make love to me.

Little did I realize that the wrong guy was laying next to me. Little did I realize that who I needed in my life was Jack...and that I've lost him for good.