Relax, Baby, That's a Good Girl

I kept hearing his words over and over again in my head.

I was so deep in thought that I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking, causing me to bump into someone.

"So-" I started to apologize when I looked up to see who I'd just bumped into.
I smiled slightly when I realized I'd bumped into Frankie.

"It's nothing," Frank said with an amused smile. "You should pay attention to where you're walking, though," he said as he grabbed my hand, laced our fingers together, and started walking with me.

As I felt his fingers against mine, I started realizing something.
I liked it when he held my hand. I liked it when he touched me.

But, it wasn't like it'd been with Matt.

With Matt, a simple look could make me blush. A simple touch could make me shiver. I felt butterflies in my stomach just thinking about him. I loved every single thing about him including his flaws.

I didn't feel like that with Frank. Sure, I loved Frank, but I didn't think I was in love with Frank.
I just hate that it took me so long to realize that.

I looked up at him, and he met my gaze.

I swallowed hard knowing that I'd have to tell him about what I'd just realized, and I hoped so badly that he would still want to be my friend. I wished it could still be like it used to be, before we were together. We'd been the best of friends. I'd love it if we were like that again, but he probably won't want to be again.

I now realize why people are scared of starting a relationship with their friends.

It changes everything.

"Frank?" I said not intending for it to be as softly as I'd said it.

Frank looked down at me with a concerned look on his face. The softness of my voice and my calling him 'Frank' instead of 'Frankie' made him realize that I was serious.

I pressed my lips together tightly, and I gently pulled his arm, leading him outside, so we could talk in private.

He came to stand infront of me, and he placed his free hand gently on my cheek. So lightly, that it felt like only the very tips of his fingers were touching my face. Barely.

He looked down into my eyes worriedly.

"Baby, are you OK? What's wrong?" he asked gently, staring down into my eyes.

"I," I sighed. I tried to think of the easiest way to tell him, but I realized which ever way I chose, it would hurt him and me.

"I don't think this is right,I, I mean." Another sigh. "I love you. You know I do. But I just realized I'm not in love with you. I still want to be your friend, if you think you could let me be, but I can't be with you anymore. You deserve someone who can love you back just as much and more."

The hand on my cheek slowly moved down, dropping down to Frank's side.
Hurt, disappointment, and confusion were written on his face.

"I'm sorry," I added quietly.

He just nodded in a loss of words. He broke our eye contact and looked around him like he needed to get away from me as fast as he could.

"Frankie."

He closed his eyes tightly and bit on his bottom lip. Me using his nickname seemed to make it even worse, and I felt worse, too.

"I'll, I'll see you, Katherine. I need to go somewhere," he said and then quickly walked away in the direction of the parking lot.

I sat down on the ground, with my back leaning against the school building, cupping my face with my hands as tears started forming in the corner of my eyes.

After what felt like forever, I finally got myself to stand up. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and sighed deeply.

I pressed my lips together and started walking to my own car since school had ended a little while ago.

I had to go talk to Matt.