Baby, Please Come Home

I stopped by Kellin's apartment with the excuse that he had left his bag at Alex’s.
He looked startled as he realized it was me at the door. “Vic?” he asked, looking really cute. He had on a pair of loose sweatpants and a hoodie, his hair slightly messed up. “What are you doing here?” he asked and wrapped his arms around himself.
“Um…you forgot this,” I said and held his bag out to him. Kellin's eyes widened as he pulled it away from me. “Thanks,” he said softly.
“Do you mind if I come in?” I asked, kind of wanting to look around. “Um…I guess,” he moved out of the way, closing the door behind me.
“Wow,” I mumbled, looking around our old apartment. Kellin let me walk around, and then caught me in our old room.
“Don’t you think it’s kind of wrong to get all nostalgic in your ex’s bed?” he asked, smirking at me.
“Um, yeah, I guess. Is this--?” He nodded slightly. I smiled a little, thinking back to everything we had done on this bed. The memories actually ached.
“Thanks,” I said softly and stood up, kind of reluctant to leave. “Mhm…” Kellin watched me awkwardly as I left the room and then paused by the door.
“Um…Kellin. Why did you kiss me?” I asked. Kellin sighed and crossed his arms over his chest.
“I don’t know…why did you kiss back?” I chewed my lip, debating over whether or not I should tell him. “I’m still attracted to you,” Kellin smirked at me a little.
“Good to know,” he said. “Mhm…Am I going to see you again or you just going to ignore me?”
He half-smiled and then sat down on the couch. “Do you want to see me again?” he asked.
“Of course.” Kellin sighed and nodded. “Okay…come here,” He held his hand out for me, waiting until I walked over to him and sat down.
Kellin leant against me, his eyes closed lightly. I put my arms around him and tucked my face into his hair, breathing in his familiar scent.
“I missed you,” I whispered and heard him sigh softly. “Why did you leave?” Kellin asked and turned around in my arms. He looked so much more like the Kellin I knew, his eyes wide and innocent. “I think…because I knew that if I stayed I would come running back to you before the divorce was even finalized.”
Kellin flinched at the word ‘divorce’, a little frown on his lips. “I wouldn’t have minded that,” he said.
I smiled a bit and squeezed him.
We sat that way for a while, just holding each other in comfortable silence. “I should go,” I whispered, my lips close to his ear.
“I don’t want you to,” he said, eyes meeting mine. “Me neither. But I am engaged,” I said in a shallow attempt to remind us both.
Kellin sighed and moved out of my hold. “Goodnight,” he whispered.
“Goodnight Kell,” he stared down at the floor, leaning into my touch as I kissed his hair before leaving.
It hurt just as much to leave now as it did a year ago, but somehow I managed to drive away….

I fell into bed and just stared up at the ceiling. I couldn’t stop thinking about Kellin, and it was really driving me crazy. I loved Bethany, right? So I shouldn’t be lying in bed, daydreaming about my ex.
But I was.

(Dreaming-Vic)
“Kellin?” I asked, confused. “Um…V-Vic, hi,” Kellin said, blushing and then staring down at his shoes. “Um…what are you doing here?”
It was the middle of the night, and I had woken up to someone tapping on my bedroom window, nearly scaring me half to death. “I just…um, I couldn’t sleep, so I thought…n-nevermind, I shouldn’t be here,” he said. He looked so flustered.
“Come here,” I said and held my hand out to him, leaning out of my bedroom window awkwardly. Kellin let me pull him through the window and into my arms, his cheeks still pink. I smiled softly and leant my forehead against his as I held him. “Were they arguing again?” I asked quietly.
Kellin nodded and snuggled his face into my chest so I wouldn’t see him cry.
“Shh,” I breathed and rocked him lightly. Kellin's parents were always fighting, especially when they thought that he was asleep.
They didn’t know that they usually woke him up, if he wasn’t already awake. They also didn’t know that he could hear every word that they said.
His parents mostly ignored him, but when they actually paid attention to him it was to use him as a bargaining chip in their arguments.
“They’re finally…,” Kellin shook his head, unable to say the words. “It’s okay,” I whispered and pulled him over to my bed. He let me unzip his jacket, and then push it off of his shoulders. I sat down on the bed and undid his jeans, pulling them down for him. Kellin kicked them off, along with his shoes, and then let me drag him into bed with me.
“They k-kept screaming at each other,” Kellin choked, his voice breaking. “Shh, honey, just relax,” I said and held him to my chest as he cried.
“I love you,” Kellin said through a little sob. “I love you too sweetheart,” He rubbed at his eyes a little and turned around in my arms to bury his face in my neck.
He clung to me as he cried, his small form shaking lightly in my arms.
I cradled him until he fell asleep, and then finally let myself fall asleep too.
(Over) ~

I woke up slowly, lonely as I realized I wasn’t actually holding him.
I hated the hollow feeling in my chest as I groped at the sheets and wished that he was there. I wanted him to be there.
I sighed and rolled over, not ready to get up yet.
Kellin's parents had decided to get divorced that night, and even though he wasn’t fond of them, Kellin was devastated. I had held him the entire night, and then his mom called, asking where he was.
She didn’t even sound too concerned; just mad.
I had the urge to call Kellin, although he would probably be at work now. Maybe I could go to Dawson’s today…. ~