Mute
Chapter 8
-Monday-
I bit my lip gingerly, my finger lingered over the doorbell. Justin had invited me over to hang out after school and I was starting to regret accepting the invitation. My dad would probably be so pissed off when I got home, but I couldn't just drop my plans with Justin. He couldn't suspect a thing between me and my father.
I didn't want to drag him in the middle of my life by showing him the problems I had with my father. He might not even want to be friends with me after knowing what he has done to me. Justin will probably look at me differently if he knew about what went on behind the closed doors of my father's house.
Finally, after a few seconds of hesitation, I pushed the doorbell. I kept my gaze anywhere but on the door. I looked up from the ground when an woman, who looked to be in her mid 30's, opened the door. I gave a timid smile.
"Hello, how may I help you?" she asked, wiping her wet hands off with a rag. She must have just washed her hands.
"I-I'm he-re t-t-to s-ee J-Jus-tin, I-is he-he h-hom-e?" I asked, trying to be polite. The look on her face changed from a hard one to a more softer look.
"Yes, I'm his mother. What's your name, sweetie?" Mrs. Hills asks while I step inside, she closed the door behind me.
"K-Kellin Q-qui-nn." I answered, glancing around the home.
"That' a lovely name." She smiled, "Are you a friend?"
"Y-Yes, m-ma'ma." I looked back at her.
"His room is up the stairs, second door on the right. He should be in there. " Mrs. Hills walked back to what I guessed was the kitchen.
I walked slowly up the stairs, knocking on the door Justin's mom said that was his. A few moments later Justin answered the door. His face lit up with a smile, I smiled back timidly.
'Hey, Kellin. I hope you didn't mind that I invited another friend over?' he signed, he hugged me gently, which caused me to tense slightly. He let go after noticing me tense, only raising his eyebrows slightly at that.
'I don't mind.' I signed back, he moved aside so I could walk in. I only briefly glanced at the person he invited over. Vic Fuentes. Of course it had to be him. I didn't say anything about it though. Instead I made sure to act like I was alright with him being here.
I ignored Vic most of the time, only talking to him whenever he tried to start a conversation with me. He mostly talked with Justin, only using sign language. A few moments later I found myself watching the two play this first person video game, which I had no clue what it was called. I sat on the bed criss-cross, messing with the ends of my sleeves mindlessly while I watched.
For the most part I was doing well, not minding what they were playing or doing. It wasn't until it got to a certain part of the game that I started to feel fear and anxiety start to take over. There was a little boy who was being yelled at by his father, the father slapped his son across the face when he tried to talk back.
I felt my breathing go shallow. It was like my lungs had given out and that I was suffocating myself with the thoughts that began to wrap around my neck like a loose. I quickly stood up from the bed, heading over to the bathroom. I gripped my throat, clawing at it like there was something around my neck.
My breathing was quick and I tried to conceal it the best I could around them, but that wasn't turning out well. I closed the bathroom door behind me, sinking down against the door. I closed my eyes, trying to not let this feeling control me. I could feel his hands roaming my body, the insults he'd throw at me.
I tried to quickly think of something to help calm my nerves, then I remembered something that I had found helpful during these times.
I glanced around the room. Five things I see; bathtub, light, shower, curtain, and sink. Breath in then out. Four things I can feel; the cool tile, my cool skin that shook with fear, the fabric on my body that shook with my skin, and the wet splotches on the floor from the tears. Breath in then out. Three things I can hear; The pounding of my heart and the voice of Vic trying to get me to come out of here. How long have I been in here? Breath in then out. One thing that makes me happy; the safe feeling music gives me. Breath in then out.
I close my eyes, noticing that my shaking and breathing was closer to normal now. I frown when I remember why I was in here, but I discarded it before I could work myself up over it again. Before I could think of anything else I heard Vic's angelic voice speak to me.
"Kellin, can you please come out? We're worried about you." I furrowed my eyebrows, wonder how long I had been in here. I slowly stood up, moving away from the door to go to the sink. I held my face with my hands at the sink, my fingers lightly tugged at my faded ebony hair. I stopped this when I heard the door open. A few moments later I saw Vic and Justin appear in the corner of my eyes.
"You okay?" Vic asked, he was eyeing me.
"Y-yea-h....y-yeah..." I nodded, glancing at Vic then to Justin.
'How long was I in here?' I signed to either one of the two.
'Nearly 40 minutes.' Justin signed back. I raised my eyebrows in slight surprise. It felt like a five minutes, not 40 minutes.
'I'm going to go home, my father will be expecting me back by now.' I signed, being somewhat honest.
I walked past the two, heading straight out the bedroom door and speed walking down the stairs. Mrs. Hills noticed me walking towards the door.
"Bye hon, come back soon." her voice was warm and kind. I gave a curt nod, opening the front door and walking out of it. I was half way down the driveway of the home when Vic's voice stopped me. I glanced behind me, pausing to hear whatever he had to say. My arms were crossed over my chest, my gaze reflected a fake stone look.
"Kellin, wait up. Want me to drive you home?" he asked, I bit my lip shaking my head 'no.'
"I-I c-can m-mak-e I-it on m-my o-wn." I replied, turning on my heal and continued to walk.
"Why not?" he asked, being a stubbron ass.
I stop in my tracks, realizing I didn't have a legit reason to decline his offer.
"I w-w-ant t-to w-wa-lk h-h-ho-me, a-alone." I felt a few drops of rain hit me. Just my luck, I thought.
"You're going to be dripping wet by the time you get home." he argued. He just wouldn't give up.
"F-f-fine." I groan, walking over to him. At least I could get home sooner and wouldn't have to be dripping were afterwards. He held the door to his white pick-up truck for me. I shot him a glare, even though I didn't mean anything by it. Vic had a smile of success plastered onto his face, which caused me to role my eyes at him.
He closed the door when I had seated myself in the passenger seat. A few minutes later, with the help of me pointing out where to go, we arrived to my house. My dad was sitting on the porch, smoking a cigarette and drinking a can of beer. I glanced at Vic nervously, he was eyeing my father.
"T-thank y-you." I said, opening the door quickly and stepping out. My dad had stopped what he was doing by now, walking towards me angrily.
"Where the hell where you?" My dad growled, grabbing me by my upper arm and pulling me towards the house.
"I-I-I-" he didn't let me finish, instead he slapped me across the face.
"Shut the fu.ck up! I don't want to hear another word from your mouth. You worthless piece of sh.it. Get in the house!" He spat at me, pushing me towards the door. I glace back at Vic's truck, seeing he was watching my father with a hard glare. It pained me to know he couldn't do anything about this situation.
Reluctantly, I walked inside of the house, mentally preparing myself for whatever my father had waiting for me.
I bit my lip gingerly, my finger lingered over the doorbell. Justin had invited me over to hang out after school and I was starting to regret accepting the invitation. My dad would probably be so pissed off when I got home, but I couldn't just drop my plans with Justin. He couldn't suspect a thing between me and my father.
I didn't want to drag him in the middle of my life by showing him the problems I had with my father. He might not even want to be friends with me after knowing what he has done to me. Justin will probably look at me differently if he knew about what went on behind the closed doors of my father's house.
Finally, after a few seconds of hesitation, I pushed the doorbell. I kept my gaze anywhere but on the door. I looked up from the ground when an woman, who looked to be in her mid 30's, opened the door. I gave a timid smile.
"Hello, how may I help you?" she asked, wiping her wet hands off with a rag. She must have just washed her hands.
"I-I'm he-re t-t-to s-ee J-Jus-tin, I-is he-he h-hom-e?" I asked, trying to be polite. The look on her face changed from a hard one to a more softer look.
"Yes, I'm his mother. What's your name, sweetie?" Mrs. Hills asks while I step inside, she closed the door behind me.
"K-Kellin Q-qui-nn." I answered, glancing around the home.
"That' a lovely name." She smiled, "Are you a friend?"
"Y-Yes, m-ma'ma." I looked back at her.
"His room is up the stairs, second door on the right. He should be in there. " Mrs. Hills walked back to what I guessed was the kitchen.
I walked slowly up the stairs, knocking on the door Justin's mom said that was his. A few moments later Justin answered the door. His face lit up with a smile, I smiled back timidly.
'Hey, Kellin. I hope you didn't mind that I invited another friend over?' he signed, he hugged me gently, which caused me to tense slightly. He let go after noticing me tense, only raising his eyebrows slightly at that.
'I don't mind.' I signed back, he moved aside so I could walk in. I only briefly glanced at the person he invited over. Vic Fuentes. Of course it had to be him. I didn't say anything about it though. Instead I made sure to act like I was alright with him being here.
I ignored Vic most of the time, only talking to him whenever he tried to start a conversation with me. He mostly talked with Justin, only using sign language. A few moments later I found myself watching the two play this first person video game, which I had no clue what it was called. I sat on the bed criss-cross, messing with the ends of my sleeves mindlessly while I watched.
For the most part I was doing well, not minding what they were playing or doing. It wasn't until it got to a certain part of the game that I started to feel fear and anxiety start to take over. There was a little boy who was being yelled at by his father, the father slapped his son across the face when he tried to talk back.
I felt my breathing go shallow. It was like my lungs had given out and that I was suffocating myself with the thoughts that began to wrap around my neck like a loose. I quickly stood up from the bed, heading over to the bathroom. I gripped my throat, clawing at it like there was something around my neck.
My breathing was quick and I tried to conceal it the best I could around them, but that wasn't turning out well. I closed the bathroom door behind me, sinking down against the door. I closed my eyes, trying to not let this feeling control me. I could feel his hands roaming my body, the insults he'd throw at me.
I tried to quickly think of something to help calm my nerves, then I remembered something that I had found helpful during these times.
I glanced around the room. Five things I see; bathtub, light, shower, curtain, and sink. Breath in then out. Four things I can feel; the cool tile, my cool skin that shook with fear, the fabric on my body that shook with my skin, and the wet splotches on the floor from the tears. Breath in then out. Three things I can hear; The pounding of my heart and the voice of Vic trying to get me to come out of here. How long have I been in here? Breath in then out. One thing that makes me happy; the safe feeling music gives me. Breath in then out.
I close my eyes, noticing that my shaking and breathing was closer to normal now. I frown when I remember why I was in here, but I discarded it before I could work myself up over it again. Before I could think of anything else I heard Vic's angelic voice speak to me.
"Kellin, can you please come out? We're worried about you." I furrowed my eyebrows, wonder how long I had been in here. I slowly stood up, moving away from the door to go to the sink. I held my face with my hands at the sink, my fingers lightly tugged at my faded ebony hair. I stopped this when I heard the door open. A few moments later I saw Vic and Justin appear in the corner of my eyes.
"You okay?" Vic asked, he was eyeing me.
"Y-yea-h....y-yeah..." I nodded, glancing at Vic then to Justin.
'How long was I in here?' I signed to either one of the two.
'Nearly 40 minutes.' Justin signed back. I raised my eyebrows in slight surprise. It felt like a five minutes, not 40 minutes.
'I'm going to go home, my father will be expecting me back by now.' I signed, being somewhat honest.
I walked past the two, heading straight out the bedroom door and speed walking down the stairs. Mrs. Hills noticed me walking towards the door.
"Bye hon, come back soon." her voice was warm and kind. I gave a curt nod, opening the front door and walking out of it. I was half way down the driveway of the home when Vic's voice stopped me. I glanced behind me, pausing to hear whatever he had to say. My arms were crossed over my chest, my gaze reflected a fake stone look.
"Kellin, wait up. Want me to drive you home?" he asked, I bit my lip shaking my head 'no.'
"I-I c-can m-mak-e I-it on m-my o-wn." I replied, turning on my heal and continued to walk.
"Why not?" he asked, being a stubbron ass.
I stop in my tracks, realizing I didn't have a legit reason to decline his offer.
"I w-w-ant t-to w-wa-lk h-h-ho-me, a-alone." I felt a few drops of rain hit me. Just my luck, I thought.
"You're going to be dripping wet by the time you get home." he argued. He just wouldn't give up.
"F-f-fine." I groan, walking over to him. At least I could get home sooner and wouldn't have to be dripping were afterwards. He held the door to his white pick-up truck for me. I shot him a glare, even though I didn't mean anything by it. Vic had a smile of success plastered onto his face, which caused me to role my eyes at him.
He closed the door when I had seated myself in the passenger seat. A few minutes later, with the help of me pointing out where to go, we arrived to my house. My dad was sitting on the porch, smoking a cigarette and drinking a can of beer. I glanced at Vic nervously, he was eyeing my father.
"T-thank y-you." I said, opening the door quickly and stepping out. My dad had stopped what he was doing by now, walking towards me angrily.
"Where the hell where you?" My dad growled, grabbing me by my upper arm and pulling me towards the house.
"I-I-I-" he didn't let me finish, instead he slapped me across the face.
"Shut the fu.ck up! I don't want to hear another word from your mouth. You worthless piece of sh.it. Get in the house!" He spat at me, pushing me towards the door. I glace back at Vic's truck, seeing he was watching my father with a hard glare. It pained me to know he couldn't do anything about this situation.
Reluctantly, I walked inside of the house, mentally preparing myself for whatever my father had waiting for me.