So Kiss Me Goodbye

"Hello?" Shelby asked groggily into the phone.

"Shelby? Can I come over?"

"Lilly? What's wrong you sound like you've been crying?" She said, the sleep draining from her voice.

I sighed shakily. "Will and I got into a fight and I left, can I please come over?"

Instantly she replied. "Of course sweetheart, of course."

Tiredly I nodded, though she couldn’t see it.

"Okay, great, cause I'm outside the door."

Neither of us waited for a response as I hung up and listened to her feet shuffle toward the door, flinging it open without a care and throwing her arms around me.

"Oh sweetie." She murmured, hugging me tightly.

I had to give her props that even with my huge belly in between us she managed to pull me into one of those smothering hugs I loved so much.

"Hey what's going on?" Madi asked, walking into the room.

"Me and Will... uh, it's bad." I murmured, trying not to cry like I had done the entire car ride here.

Madi's face softened as Shelby led me further into the apartment, me fighting the yawns the entire time.

"Do you want to go lay down in your old room? I'll make you some hot chocolate and we'll get you comfortable and make sure you calm down and we don’t have a repeat of the Stacy Incident." Shelby explained in reference of the reason I went into the hospital, which we all referred to as the Stacy Incident.

I nodded tiredly, resting my head on her shoulder as she led me into my old room where it was like things had never changed.

True my computer wasn’t there, and the closet was empty, but the walls had the same comforting shadows and cracks I had lived with for years and the bed was calling my name.

All I did was slip off my jacket, returning my to my pajamas I had been in all day, and crawled under the comforter, which still smelled faintly of fabric softener and lavender.

I knew this was the same bed Will and I had first made love in, the same bed that started it all, but it had become my escape from all of it too.

"Lilly?" Shelby asked softly, knocking on the door.

I slowly opened my eyes, expecting to see her with a cup of steaming hot chocolate, but instead found her with a phone.

"It's Jamie, apparently Will showed up on her and Mike's doorstep just like you. She wants to talk to you."

With a sigh I nodded and took the phone from her.

"Hey."

Jamie's voiced crackled over the receiver.

"Lilly? What the hell is going on? Will is flipping out over here and he's wearing a hole in my floor pacing so much."

"I, I'm sorry you got dragged into this mess." I sighed.

I could practically hear her impatience over the phone.

"You still didn’t answer me okay? We want to help you guys but you've got to let us." Jamie murmured consolingly.

Her determination was evident through the phone and I knew she wouldn’t let me off till I told her.

Still, the headspace I was in didn’t call for me catering to my friends needs; it's not like I could always please them.

So instead of answering her I drifted off to sleep in my own head, forgetting about the phone or Jamie's voice calling after me in the dark.

~x~

I woke up the next morning to my room bathed in pink and blue light; it was cold but my bed was warm.

My mind was like a white canvas to what had happened the night before, at least, until something shuffled in the room.

"Lilly?" An all too familiar voice asked timidly.

I froze, not sure whether to roll over or play dead.

"Please Lilly, I'm not going anywhere till you talk to me."

His determination was something I both loved and hated about him, and while I tried to figure out why all my friends seemed to have that stubborn streak, Will moved to sit on the bed next to me.