Saturday

Ashton's P.O.V.

A little less than a month passed since Lukey gave me this promise ring. And honnestly, things were back on track for us. I was fighting and I was not giving up. I had one goal in mind, and that goal was to finally get on of Polar Inc. and have a normal life. I wanted to be able to breathe the fresh air and feel the warm rays of the Sun on my skin. I wanted to live like a normal young adult boy, I wanted to be free. I wanted to be free from this place and from my problems. And most of all, I wanted to be near Luke and spend as most time as possible with him. That was my only wish, and I could tell that it was Luke's too.

Luke was more than perfect to me. He forgave me for what I did. We talked about it and we decided to forget about it all. It was all in the past now. Luke and I only thought about the present and the future that we were both going to spend together, side by side. I trusted Luke enough to know that he was not going to give up on me, and I was going to do the same. I wanted him to be mine for the rest of my life. I wanted his love to feed me everyday. I needed Luke in my life, more than anything else. He was my oxygen. You could say that my love for him could be unhealthy, but it was not. It was pure, perfect and right.

Luke kept all the promises he made me when he offered me that beautiful promise ring. He was there for me in my ups and my downs. He was always there to laugh or cry with me. I could always count on him to make me feel better, to bring back a smile on my face. I could call him day and night, and he would always answer. We would talk for hours. I wished we could have seen each other more often, but Luke and I made the most of it when we saw each other every Saturday, the best day of the week. He was always there and he made every single visits magical and memorable. That's how perfect my boyfriend was.

Luke also showed me how much he actually cared about me. Everyday, he would say such beautiful things to me to make me feel better. Luke always had that special hability to make me feel good about myself, he always found the right words for every situation. He also showed me how much he loved me wheter it was by telling me, hugging me or kissing me. I could feel love in every little gesture that he made. I could see love when I looked into Luke's eyes. I could feel love when he wrapped his strong arms around my tiny body. And I could taste love when he kissed me tenderly or passionately. There wasn't a single moment where I felt empty. I always felt Luke's love and it was the best feeling in the whole world.

I sometimes felt sad though, because we could not do what normal couples would do. I wished that I could have taken Luke on a date. I wished that we could have gone to a fancy restaurant, to the movie or just in a cute tiny park. But we could not, because I was stuck in this institute. Even though Luke promised to never give up on me, I was afraid that he would get tired of our weird relationship where we could only see each other one time per week. I was afraid that he would want more. There were so many things I wanted us to be able to do, but we couldn't...because of me and my stupid mental state. How I wished that Luke and I had an opportunity to be much more intimate, to really show how much we loved each other.

But I was positive. After my second attempt, I did not have any other urges to kill myself. I did not make myself throw up anymore and I was taking my medication how I was supposed to. The doctors were proud of me and could see that I was on the right way on getting better. I felt proud of myself, I felt proud that I made it that far. But, I also owed it to my precious boyfriend, Luke. He was the one who gave me the strenght and the courage to fight. I was not only fighting for myself, I was also fighting for him. Luke made me want to be a better me.

Two weeks after Luke gave me the ring, the doctors said that, if everything stayed the way they were, I would be able to get out of the institute in a month. They said that I could get back to a normal life in a month. That month sure was going to be long, but I had an objective. I had to stay strong for one more month before I could finally get back on track forever. After everything that I had been through, that was finally it. I was going to be okay. Things were going to be just fine. In the end, every strom will have an end. And mine was finally going to end and give some space to the sun and rainbows.

Luke was happier than I when I gave him the news. He told me how proud he was of me and how much he loved me. He was simply the best. We have been talking about what our life was going to be like once I would get out of Polar Inc. We talked about moving together, we thought that it would be the best thing to do. We would have to wait until Luke's graduation though, but that wasn't a long time away. I could see a bright future in front of us. I could see happiness and paradise. Life finally was going to give me those things I've been craving for.

After these majors news, I felt that something was wrong with Luke. Not about our relationship though, just about him. He seemed to be less happy and bubbly than he usually was. I could see sadness in his eyes which I didn't where it was from. I tried to make him speak to me, but he would tell me that everything was fine. Or, he would change the subject by kissing me or making some jokes. Something was wrong with my baby and I sure was going to find out what was causing him pain. I hated to see him hurt. At that moment, I understood how Luke must have been feeling when I was at my worst.

When I called Luke one day, he was crying. He wasn't just crying, he was a sobbing mess. I could hear people yelling in the background. Something was wrong in his house. And then, he let it all out. He told me about how his parents were going to divorce. He told me about how his parents started treating him like shit because he did not get good grades on his last report card. He told me about his parents would not stop arguing about Ben and how he was a lost cause. Luke's familly was broken and it was causing him so much pain. All I wanted to do was to hug him and chase the pain away.

We talked for several hours and I tried to make him better, but my words did not have a big effect on him. He would not stop crying, telling me how much of a failure he was and how everything that was happening was his fault. I told him that it wasn't true, but he would not believe me. I hated to see my boyfriend hurt so much. It wasn't okay. I was going to make everything in my power to bring back the all happy, funny and energetic Luke Hemmings. Just like the promise he made to me, I was going to be there for him in his ups and his downs. I never was going to give up on him.

After the call, Luke tried his best to hide his pain. He wanted to make me believe that he was okay, but I knew him well enough to know that he was not. I felt like he did not trust me enough to show me his vulnerable side. I showed him mine, why couldn't he let me see his? I knew I could help. Was he afraid that I was going to leave him? Was he afraid that my love for him would fade away only because he was having a rough time? I loved him way too much to do that. All I wanted was to make him happy, to make him feel better. Because Luke Hemmings deserved the best things in the world. An angel like him deserved perfection, nothing below that.

I decided to write him a letter that I was going to give him the next time he wouldl visit me. I opted for a letter because Luke wrote me one once and it made me feel so much better. I hoped it could have the same effect on him. In this letter, I told him and reminded him how much I loved him. I complimented him and said many lovely things on how he was the perfect boyfriend for me. I also told him that it was okay to be sad. I let him know that I was there for me, that I always was going to be. I let him know that he should not blame himself for what was happening in his life. I didn't want him to feel guilty about the whole situation. I hoped that my words would bring back a smile on his face.

I was currently sitting in my room, reading my letter over and over again to make sure it was okay. I had two more days before seeing Luke again and I wanted my letter to be perfect. I must have rewritten it thrice because it never seemed to be good enough. I sometimes felt like my words would only upset Luke even more than he already was. I didn't want, I wanted him to smile and to be happy. I was so focused on writing my letter until I heard people talking outside of my room.

''Have you seen the new patient that just got admitted? He's in room 12, the one Jack used to be in,'' Some random voice coming from the hall asked.

''No, but I heard that he is very cute. Some people say that they already saw him before,'' someone replied.

''Yeah, I did see him before. He sure is cute,'' the first boy said.

''In the end, he is just another messed up kid like us,'' the second guy replied.

Curiosity got better of me and I headed to the room mentionned by that guy. Everybody in here always was curious when it came to a new patient. They all wanted to know what he looked like and why he was in there. And I was one of those people. I walked to the room, trying to make myself a mental image of what he could look like. It was a little game of mine, and most of the time...the guy or the girl had nothing to do with the impression I had of them.

When I reached the room, I thought that I was hallucinating. The boy in there was too much familiar to be true. This was impossible. I pinched myself, thinking that I was dreaming. But I wasn't. It was really the person I thought it was. How could this be? How was it even possible? Why was this happening? It was not supposed to happen. I broke down when I realized that the new patient was none other than my boyfriend, Luke Hemmings.