Tomorrow's Money

The writing in my journal became less frequent, as if it weren't already infrequent to begin with. My life was in a new place, everything was different.

I graduated from my private school, just as my parents had planned for me from birth. I got my diploma, walked off the stage while the next person was being called, and looked back at my parents, full of pride and happiness. William sat beside them, a more subtle pride sitting with him as a light smile graced his oddly perfect face. I turned back around and thought about how everything had turned out. It was all just as they planned. I was dating a mature, handsome, rich man, I graduated a high class private school with a 3.5 GPA, I got into an Ivy League school, Princeton, actually, exactly where I was intended to go since birth. Everything was absolutely perfect. My life was set out for me. During college I would study different international cultures, after college I would use that to help families in severe poverty and sickness. I would Marry William, have a few kids, retire when I'm old enough, get sent to a home at 80, and die, peacefully in bed. That was it.

I quickly became disturbed by it all. How could this be the rest of my life? How could I have it so thoughtfully and perfectly laid out before me? I was only 18. 18 Years old and I knew everything about the rest of my 80+ years of life. I was greatly unhappy and oddly sickened by it. For months.

For months, I thought about it all. How different my life would be, had I continued to stray from the planned path. Everything was exactly the way my parents wanted and exactly the way I didn't want. But, no matter how I felt about it, I kept my head down and went on with the life that was planned. I was relieved when summer was over and I could move out of the house. I moved into an apartment with William in Princeton, which was about an hour away from Newark. This would be my life for the next 2 years.

I came home from class one night, it was a night just like any other. Our normal routines ensued. I walked through the door to be greeted with a smile and a warm "Hello love." from Wil, followed by a small, appropriate kiss on the cheek.

I'd smile and return the "hello" and walk passed him to find dinner out on the table. We sat down together, like every night. "How was your day?" I asked. I found myself sounding uninterested, like always. I always felt uninterested, unenthused.

"It would have been better if you were here sharing the day with me." He said, like he did every single day.

I found myself fed up with the constant routine. Even our conversations were routine. We had the same conversations every single day. It was terribly irritating. "Nothing else? Nothing interesting? Nothing different?" I asked, out of my ordinary speech.

"Uh, no. Not really." He said, seemingly surprised. I must have caught him off guard.

"Have you written anything lately?" I asked, praying to hear new music from him. I really liked his music, and anything would be better than talking about the same things over and over again.

"Sort of. I'm starting song called 'Price We Pay.' But it's not finished. I'll be sure to show you progress tomorrow." Damn it.

We finished our dinner and sat on the couch to watch a movie together. It was only 5 but I knew we were in for the night. We watched movies and ate snacks while I did homework until about 10. By that time I was tired, ready for bed. We went off to bed together, and I denied all his advances as usual. I had done things with him before, but I didn't really like what he was into. He was into BDSM, and I gave it a try, but it scared me more than anything. Since then I always told him that I didn't want to do things, that I wasn't in the mood. And he was always so kind about it, never pressuring me or making me feel guilty. Really, he was so easy to get a long with.

Friday. Something different happened. I came home to find dinner missing, along with my boyfriend. I wen to the table where a note was left for me.

Lilian,

I went out to practice with a few old band mates. We will be doing a reunion show as Aiden in two weeks from tomorrow. We're opening for a band that apparently is getting pretty popular. Sorry to leave you without dinner, I'll be home late tonight.

Love,
William

I was slightly happy. Anything different that happened was a blessing it seemed. And I was even more excited that I would finally get to go out to a show! It made me miss Tiffany. She would have loved to go with me. Instead, I would stand at the bar by myself while Wil was on stage, but I was so proud of him. I couldn't just not go!

In the following days the excitement grew. Two weeks couldn't come fast enough! Wil was out practicing nearly every night for those two weeks, until the night finally came.

Saturday night. It was the first Saturday night I'd gone out in ages! I found it amazing that other 20 year old girls did this kind of thing all the time. I would never have had time to do this often, not with all of the work I had to do for Princeton.

I got dressed up in a tight, wire-boned corset and matching black, skinny jeans with a pair of studded black heels. I curled my hair, making it pretty big, kind of like Julianne Hough's hair in Rock Of Ages. I definitely used her hair for inspiration. I didn't get to dress up very often, so it felt really good to go all out.

Wil drove me to the venue and then quickly disappeared, telling me he'd see me late that night and that he was going bar hopping in celebration with the guys and to not wait up. I sat behind his merch table that had been set up a few hours in advance. Apparently they needed a last minute merch girl and I was the only person willing. I was a little disappointed that I had to work instead of just getting to watch the show like everyone else, but I couldn't say no.

When Aiden went on, the crowd seemed to really be enjoying it, but it was painfully obvious that most of the kids were waiting for the headliner. I watched as Wil sang. I admired him, knowing how much work he put into this show.

As Aiden's set came to a close and everything was cleaned up and ready for the next band, a man walked on stage to announce the headliner. "Ladies and gentlemen, I know you've been waiting all day for this!" He said, the crowd already responding with screams and chants. "Hailing from here, in New Jersey, give them a big welcome home, it's My Chemical Romance!" He yelled over the crazy crowd.

"Are you fucking ready?!" I heard, who I assumed was the singer, screamed. I knew that voice. I fucking knew that voice. There was no way in hell.

My heart raced and my hands were already clammy, I started shaking, nervous, scared. Scared to look up to see him. I forced myself to look up.

"Gerard.."