Tomorrow's Money

Sunday.

I rolled out of bed, happy to not have class. I made my way to the kitchen to find another note from Wil.

Lilian,

Going to be gone until late tonight. I'm recording some solo songs in the studio today, you're welcome to come by if you'd like. Otherwise, I'll see you later. Enjoy your day!

Love,
Wil

I sighed, a bit relieved that I didn't have to pretend I wasn't thinking about my ex-boyfriend all day. I couldn't get Gerard off my mind. I knew there was still some tension between us, but I didn't think that would last forever if we kept talking. Seeing him was so unexpected and sudden, I just felt everything in my life was about to be shaken up and it excited me. I needed a change.

Though, I still felt a little bitter about how everything went. He didn't even come say goodbye, he left everyone and he didn't care how they felt. I knew why he did it, but it still bothered me. I shoved the thoughts away and got out my phone to text Mikey, but a message from an unknown number had text me first. "Are you busy today? -G"

My heart dropped into my stomach and my nerves kicked in like a bull. "Not really, why?" I replied. I hadn't expected him to want to see me so soon.

"BBQ at my mom's place. Come eat at noon if you're up for it." Such a simple request, such a simple conversation, but my nerves ran wild.

"I'll see what I can do." I replied, not wanting to sound too desperate. I had an hour to get ready so I bolted into the shower. I made sure to do my hair similarly to the night before, just a little less teased. His compliment hadn't stopped playing over and over in my head since he said it.

I quickly did my make up, creating the best brown/black smokey eye I could, without looking too dramatic. When I was pleased with the outcome I put on some leggings that had slits in them which covered my bare skin in lace. I put on a simple back tank top and a thin, black over shirt. The sleeves only went down to my elbows and I was worried I'd get cold if I stay out too long, but decided I probably wouldn't be gone long anyway. I put my flats on and headed out. Gerard had sent me the address so I could GPS it.

About 10 minutes went by before I'd gotten there. I knew it was the right house when I saw the big, wooden sign outside that said " The Ways" on it. I breathed in deep, trying to forget my nerves (and the fact that I was 10 minutes late.)

"Hey you!" Mikey said as I got out of the car. He'd come from the backyard so I assumed he heard me pull up.

"Hi Mikey." I smiled and gave him a hug. I hated to admit it but I'd missed him too.

"I didn't think Gerard was serious when he said he was going to invite you." He said, half surprised.

"Why? Should I not be here?" I asked, feeling uncomfortable.

"Oh, no! That's not what I meant! It's just that you guys broke up on bad terms. I didn't know if you got things solved last night." He said, leading me to the backyard.

"Well, one conversation won't fix everything. But it went better than I had ever expected." I said, hopeful. Maybe we'd have a chance to talk alone again.

"Hey kids!" An older looking, blond woman greeted us. "I'm Mrs. Way or Mom. Most everyone here calls me Mom." She giggled. "And you must be Lily right?" She smiled sweetly.

"Yeah, nice to meet you." I went to shake her hand but instead she pulled me into a hug.

"I've heard a lot about you. Come, Gerard will be out soon. Frank and Ray have a game of bean bag toss going if you want to join! Make yourself at home. Lunch will be on soon." She said, then made her way back to, who I assumed was Gerard and Mikey's dad, to the grill.

"Hi you're Lily?" The short one with a black and blond hair said when he approached me. "Frank." He stuck out his hand to shake.

I shook his hand and smiled, feeling a little awkward not knowing anyone but Mikey currently. "So you're Ray then?" I asked, directing my attention to the tall man with the afro. He looked a littler older than Frank and Mikey, like Gerard.

"That's me. How are you?" He asked politely. I could tel he really didn't like talking to people he didn't know, but he wasn't rude about it at all.

"I'm good, thanks." I smiled, letting them get back to their game.

After a few minutes, I noticed Gerard's voice from behind me. I turned around to see him talking with his mother. He really did look a little different than I remembered, now seeing him in broad daylight. His hair was a bit more well kept, but still long and black like always. He dressed the way he always did, looking like he tried and somewhere stopped caring. He had on tight black pants with the infamous button up white shirt, but the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and the shirt wasn't all the way buttoned. He looked a little more mature now (Not that he wasn't before) But how could he not? He was in his late twenties now. He grew up just like I had.

A piece of his hair fell in front of his bright, hazel eyes and the light from the sun danced beautifully across his face, leaving him his natural pale without a blemish in sight. His smile melted my heart, seeing him happy was really all I ever wanted.

He made his way over to me, greeting me with "Hey, glad you could make it." He still seemed a little timid around me. He knew just as well as I did that we had more talking to do. We hadn't even talked about the negatives of what happened, because we also both knew there were a hell of a lot of bad things that happened after he left.

"Yeah." I replied, not really knowing what to say.

"Everyone come sit! Lunch is ready!" Mrs. Way called. We all went to the preset picnic table outside and I sat down just a few seconds before anyone else. I figured if Gerard wanted to sit next to me, he would. The problem was that I sat on the end of the table, leaving only one spot open next to me and Mikey got to the table right before Gerard did and took the open seat. I was slightly disappointed as I wanted to see if Gerard would take the opportunity, but it would have to wait for another time.

Gerard ended up sitting diagonally from me across the table at the only other open seat. I sat silently, keeping to myself and feeling awkward while everyone talked with each other. I felt out of place and like I was only there to be ignored. I looked up at Gerard, who seemed to be doing the same thing, oddly. People did try to talk to him, but he kept brushing them off with short answers. Maybe he felt the same way I did, somehow, or something was on his mind. I tried not to look at him very often, but I did catch him looking at me every once in a while. I felt his burning eyes on me quite a bit, and I wanted to know what he was thinking.

When lunch was over everyone went back to playing games and leisurely talking with each other. I sat back and watched the others play games until Gerard sat next to me. "You were pretty quiet at lunch." He said.

"You weren't exactly the most talkative person either." I shot back, looking at him in defeat.

"I guess not. Well what's on your mind?" He asked, as if he were oblivious to the tension between us.

"I'd rather talk about that in a more private setting." I said, not wanting to cause a scene in front of everyone.

"Okay. Follow me." He said getting up and lending a hand to help me up. I took his hand but quickly let it go once I was up and followed him inside to the room he had been staying in. We sat on the unmade bed facing each other. "Now what's on your mind?" He asked.

"Gerard, we never talked about a lot of things after you left. You leaving wasn't all rainbows and unicorns, you know?" I said, feeling a little frustrated.

"I know that. Look, it wasn't easy for me either. Do you actually think that leaving was easy or fun for me?" He asked, seeming to be reaching out to me finally. He was finally being honest about what happened. "I gave up everything and everyone to preserve your future, and mine. I left everyone I knew and loved to make sure we'd both stay out of trouble." He was becoming frustrated, and quite honestly so was I.

"You aren't the only one who had a hard time with this Gerard." I pointed out. "I cried for weeks! I had to switch schools, quit talking to my only friends, shut everyone out, change my life, and not even tell one person as to why I was doing what I was doing. If you don't think that's rough then you're fucking crazy!" I stood up, growing more angry by the second. Why did I think talking about this was a good idea?

Gerard stood up too, ready to defend himself. "I never said it wasn't rough! I know damn well what we put each other through. We were both miserable as hell when I left, but if I hadn't left then I'd be in a jail cell right now and you wouldn't be anywhere near Princeton. Our lives would have been ruined! Don't you get it? We were going to destroy each other!"

"Not if we were careful like we planned! Don't forget that that was an option too!" I fought back. Our voices raised into a yell. Thankfully no one was inside so they couldn't hear us.

"It wasn't going to work! Marley already fucking knew Lily! She knew something was going on! If we had kept going she would have gotten proof you know that!" He shot back.

"You don't know that!" I yelled. "You have no idea wh-" I was suddenly cut off by a pair of familiar lips against mine. Hard, in pressure, but soft and loving somehow at the same time. His hands held my face lightly, as if I'd pull away at any moment.

He slightly pulled back and looked me in the eyes. "Shut the fuck up." He said, in almost a whisper. Somehow, we both just couldn't help but smile at each other. How could we have gone from yelling at each other to kissing to smiling? I supposed that was the roller coaster that was Gerard. He was passionate, wild, unpredictable, and exactly what I needed.

He kissed me one more time before my guilt set in. William was still my boyfriend. What I'd just given into was wrong. Wil was nothing but nice to me and he didn't deserve this, and now I had to tell him. "Gerard this shouldn't be happening." I said, guilt dripping form every word. I took his hand from my face and held them while I talked. "You know I have a boyfriend. It's not fair to him." I suddenly couldn't even look at Gerard anymore. I knew something like this would happen if I ever saw him again. I knew I'd fall in love all over again.

"You're right." He said, to my surprise. "Wil is a good guy, and he deserves to know about this." He obviously felt bad. I assumed he'd probably forgotten I was seeing someone else.

"What if he breaks up with me?" I asked, oddly okay with it. The thought of not being with Wil was scary, as he was my comfort zone, and it did make me sad to think about him leaving, but I didn't feel like I was being crushed by the world. Deep down I knew I'd be fine, because that would mean my life would be different and exciting again. It would also mean I could be free to be with Gerard, as shitty as that sounds. Bad girlfriend award? Right here.

"That's his decision. If he doesn't want to be with you because I kissed you then that's his decision to make. It'll be out of your hands." He already was blaming himself.

"But it wasn't just you, I kissed you back you know." I said, not really wanting to say it.

"Let's put it this way, if you want to tell Wil and keep him around, we can agree that it was my fault. If you want to tell him and have him leave, we can agree it was both of us. Or if you'd rather not say anything at all, then we can agree to forget the whole thing ever happened." I couldn't believe he was willing to lie for me to save my relationship.

"Why would you do that? Why would you want us together?" I asked, totally not understanding him.

"Because if he makes you happy, then you should be with him. It doesn't matter what I think or feel. Your happiness is important. Let me know what you decide, and I'll follow you. Not matter what." He carefully took his hands from mine, heading to the door. "Let's get back."