The Perfect Combination

"I mean" I started as I tried to find ways to explain why I had just turned down her proposal "I love you but I just can’t accept your proposal, not right now anyway" I finished off and I watch Lia’s eyes get glassy from my rejection.

"It’s okay Sergio" she said while plastering on a fake smile. "I shouldn’t have just assumed you were ready for marriage yet. I mean you’ve only just gotten used to being a father and now here I am trying to force you to marry me" she ranted as she tried hard not to cry.

I wanted to say something but before I could she stood up and asked me to excuse her while she went to the bathroom

As I watched her walk away from me, I couldn’t help but feel guilty. It wasn’t that I turned down her proposal because I didn’t want to marry her but I had been planning the perfect proposal for the past two weeks and if I let her ask me and I said yes, I would have ruined everything.

As if everything hasn’t already been ruined, I thought to myself as I hit my head against the table.

~

I should have known Sergio would say no, I kept on telling myself as I walked towards the ladies bathroom at the restaurant we were at.

How could I have been so stupid to think Sergio would want to marry me?

When the idea of marriage was brought up when I was still pregnant, it was probably just his way of trying to guarantee that I would let him see his children. I’m so stupid for not seeing this.

Everyone keeps on saying he loves me and wants to marry me but he has never actually made any concrete assertions about marriage and how dare I assume that he would marry me just because I gave him children.

I kept on berating myself as I found a stall, locked the door and started crying.

I must have been there for longer than I knew because after a while a waitress knocked on the door to ask if I’m fine.

"Yes, I am" I told her as I whipped my eyes.

I walked out of the stall to show her I was fine and when she was satisfied with my appearance she walked away and left me alone.

I walked up to the basin, splashed water on my face and reached into my purse to make myself presentable to the man who was unknowingly breaking my heart.

Once I felt satisfied, well as satisfied as a woman with puffy and red eyes could be, with my appearance I exited the bathroom and went back to the table Sergio was occupying.

When I got there, he stood up to help me into my seat and once he was once again sitting on his seat again we continued to converse.

"Lia" he started but I interrupted him before he could go any further.

"It’s fine Sergio" I said dismissively. "Forget what I asked and let’s just pretend the past 30 minutes never happened" I told him with a forced laugh and he reluctantly nodded.

"So how about another round of desserts?" I asked as I took one gulp of the brandy he ordered for himself.

~

I knew Lia would be upset with me for rejecting her marriage proposal but it wasn’t until she order her third shot of vodka, that it hit me how much I’d hurt her.

She was more than drunk by now but she refused to stop ordering alcohol.

"Lia, please. You’re gonna end up embarrassing yourself" I said as I reached for her and tried to get her to stand up.

"I doubt that possible. You’ve already embarrassed me enough to last two lifetimes" she slurred as she tried reaching for the glass that the waitress was bringing over.

I got there before her and I spilled the drink on the ground so she couldn’t drink it.

When she saw me do this, she slapped me hard across the face and she began to sob.

"Is it not enough that you took away myself respect, now you have to take away the only thing that takes away my pain?!" she said in between sobs as she turned around and walked rather haphazardly towards the restaurant exit and to the cab that was waiting to take us back to our villa.

She didn’t even wait for me to join her as she instructed the driver to leave while I was still paying the bill.

As I was paying our bill, the manager called another cab to take me back to where we were staying.

Once I reached the villa, I paid the rather talkative cab driver and walked in to be confronted by the sounds of a still sobbing Lia, lying on the couch.

I moved closer to her in an effort to comfort her but when she felt my hands touch her, she sat up straight and began to yell.

"Don’t you dare touch me. You lying, disgusting piece of human being" she began ranting as she stood up. "These past few months I’ve been such an idiot, thinking that you actually wanted to marry me and have a family with me. But all you care about is yourself and the kids. You just see me as the incubator that helped carry them" she continued as I tried to interrupt her.

"Don’t you interrupt me, asshole. You’ve made a fool of me. In front of my friends and family. I let them think that you actually love and they believed me. Heck even I believed your empty lies but no more Sergio Ramos" she said while wiping tears off her cheeks.

"This is the last time you will ever cause me to cry" she said as she began to tidy herself up and collect her purse. "From now on we are nothing more than parents to those two children upstairs. There is no longer a me and you" she stated as she walked upstairs to the bedroom and slammed the door.

I was left speechless, not only because she had assumed I didn’t love her and I would not want to marry her but because for a brief moment I imagined a life without her. And nothing scared me more than that. I needed to let her know how much I loved her and wanted her to be my wife. Even if it meant having to rush preparations, I would give her the proposal she deserved.