A Little Sweetness in My Life
A Chance
I was sitting in Kylee and I’s living room, books piled around me as I tried to study. I had done perfectly okay on my last exam so I really didn’t have much to worry about but my anxiety and perfectionism drove me to do so. I had spent most of my morning working in the hospital; I also watched some hockey with my favorite little patient, Cameron. I decided I needed a break and went into the kitchen, trying to find something to eat when I realized Kylee and I hadn’t gone grocery shopping….in a really long time. We had two bottles of Gatorade in the fridge and some peas in the freezer. I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I texted Ryan, asking if he wanted to run an errand with me and he was at the apartment in less than twenty minutes, like he always did. He’s been there for me more than anyone ever has in the almost two months that I’ve known him. We’ve gone on dates pretty much twice a week but I still haven’t been able to completely commit to it. I talked to Kylee and she just told me the same thing she has been…just give him a chance.
“Hey…you okay? You seem spaced.” Ryan said, letting himself into the apartment. I shook my head, looking over at him with a small smile.
“Yeah…just thinking.” I said, watching him as he came over, smiling cutely and wrapping me into a big hug and rocking us side to side.
“Thinking is good, means your brain is working. So…what’s this errand you need to run?” He asked, looking down at me with that same smile. I lifted my head, resting my chin on his chest.
“Kylee and I have zero food…I would rather not starve to death.” I said, making him laugh and gently move some hair out of my face.
“We wouldn’t want that to happen.” He said, sighing a little bit after he looked into my eyes and stepping away from me. “Come on; let’s get you guys stocked up.”
We got into his car and drove down to the store, walking around and picking up things here and there. A little kid recognized him at one point and asked if his mom could take a picture of them. I watched them as I grabbed some vegetables, smiling at how cute and sweet he was with the kid. I sighed, shaking my head and putting my veggies in the cart. Ryan appeared at my side again, his smile slowly disappearing as he gently grabbed my arm.
“Hey…you sure you okay? You look sad…did something happen?” He asked, looking concerned and speaking lowly, just in case it was something sensitive. God, he’s so sweet.
“Yeah….yeah, I’m good, I swear.” I said, nodding a little and continuing on to grab some other things I needed. Ryan was next to me, kind of quiet, his hands stuffed in his pockets. The rest of the little trip was quiet between us, driving home in relative silence. He helped me unpack the groceries and then we stood in the kitchen, picking at some strawberries right from the carton.
“Are you sure it isn’t me?” Ryan asked suddenly, making me look up at him.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, slightly confused by him saying that.
“Did I do something to make you upset? Or to make you uncomfortable?” He asked carefully, not even looking at me. “You just…I really like you and I dunno…feels like you don’t.” Awww……shit. I suddenly felt a horrible person.
“God, Ryan, no. You didn’t do anything to make me upset.” I said, sighing a little. I didn’t know what to say to him to make him feel better. He was staring at the floor, hands in his pockets. I moved away from the counter I was leaning on and went to stand in front of him. I slowly moved my hands up to his face, holding him gently and looking in his eyes. I started to lean in and he more than met me halfway, kissing me softly and slowly.
“Was….was that okay?” He asked, resting his head against mine, his lips just centimeters from mine. I nodded, looking in his eyes and then nodding again. He moved his hands to my waist and kissed me again, holding me against him. I think it’s about time I gave Ryan a chance.
“Hey…you okay? You seem spaced.” Ryan said, letting himself into the apartment. I shook my head, looking over at him with a small smile.
“Yeah…just thinking.” I said, watching him as he came over, smiling cutely and wrapping me into a big hug and rocking us side to side.
“Thinking is good, means your brain is working. So…what’s this errand you need to run?” He asked, looking down at me with that same smile. I lifted my head, resting my chin on his chest.
“Kylee and I have zero food…I would rather not starve to death.” I said, making him laugh and gently move some hair out of my face.
“We wouldn’t want that to happen.” He said, sighing a little bit after he looked into my eyes and stepping away from me. “Come on; let’s get you guys stocked up.”
We got into his car and drove down to the store, walking around and picking up things here and there. A little kid recognized him at one point and asked if his mom could take a picture of them. I watched them as I grabbed some vegetables, smiling at how cute and sweet he was with the kid. I sighed, shaking my head and putting my veggies in the cart. Ryan appeared at my side again, his smile slowly disappearing as he gently grabbed my arm.
“Hey…you sure you okay? You look sad…did something happen?” He asked, looking concerned and speaking lowly, just in case it was something sensitive. God, he’s so sweet.
“Yeah….yeah, I’m good, I swear.” I said, nodding a little and continuing on to grab some other things I needed. Ryan was next to me, kind of quiet, his hands stuffed in his pockets. The rest of the little trip was quiet between us, driving home in relative silence. He helped me unpack the groceries and then we stood in the kitchen, picking at some strawberries right from the carton.
“Are you sure it isn’t me?” Ryan asked suddenly, making me look up at him.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, slightly confused by him saying that.
“Did I do something to make you upset? Or to make you uncomfortable?” He asked carefully, not even looking at me. “You just…I really like you and I dunno…feels like you don’t.” Awww……shit. I suddenly felt a horrible person.
“God, Ryan, no. You didn’t do anything to make me upset.” I said, sighing a little. I didn’t know what to say to him to make him feel better. He was staring at the floor, hands in his pockets. I moved away from the counter I was leaning on and went to stand in front of him. I slowly moved my hands up to his face, holding him gently and looking in his eyes. I started to lean in and he more than met me halfway, kissing me softly and slowly.
“Was….was that okay?” He asked, resting his head against mine, his lips just centimeters from mine. I nodded, looking in his eyes and then nodding again. He moved his hands to my waist and kissed me again, holding me against him. I think it’s about time I gave Ryan a chance.