Parts of Me

“Okay, are you sure you don’t mind babysitting tonight?” I ask as I dart out of the downstairs bathroom for the third time, sliding my phone and wallet into my back pocket.

“Of course we don’t!” Tessa beams, clapping her hands together. “I love these little boys!”

Mesa stops in his tracks as he walks out of the kitchen with a glass of water. “Aunt Tessa, we’re not little boys.” He whines, giving me a look.

Jared laughs, shaking his head. “He’s right, Tess. These two are big six year olds now.”

“Oh I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Tessa giggles, ruffling his hair. “I love these big men.”

“Better.” Mesa smiles, before walking off.

“We really don’t mind, John. It’s about time you went out and met a nice girl. This will be good for you.” Tessa says supportively, all but pushing me out the door.

“She’s right dude, you need to get back out there. It’s been long enough and you could use the adult company.” Jared nods in agreement.

I look over at the boys as they sit on the couch, watching a movie. They’d had dinner, been showered and completed all of their homework. They were good kids, most of the time. “It has been six years…” I mumble, rubbing my jaw. I look back at myself in the mirror and straighten my tie. “I mean it’s nothing serious, I’ll just see how she is, y’know?”

“Yes, John,” Tessa chuckles, “you don’t need an excuse. Just go out and enjoy yourself. Stop worrying about everything, it’ll give you wrinkles.”

“Shit,” I chuckle, looking back at them. “I never used to be like this.”

“We’re old men now, man. Say hello to the next fifty years.” Jared smirks.

Tessa rolls her eyes, hitting Jared in the chest. “Oh please. You boys have it way too easy. John, when you find a woman she’ll be your backbone, just you wait.”

I look at Jared and he laughs.

“Pregnant hormones.”

I nod and give Tessa a hug. “Don’t run after those two. I’ve told them they need to wait on you and the foetus hand and foot.”

“Oh I’ll make sure of it.” Tessa giggles. “You look great, John. It’s going to be just fine.”

I give Jared a quick hug before going to the boys, who lay all over the couch. I bend down in front of them, blocking the TV and catching their short attention spans.

“Alright boys, I’m going now,” I tell them, patting Phoenix’s leg to make him look at me. “Remember what I said earlier? You need to be good for Uncle Jared and Aunt Tessa.”

“Are you going to see a girl?” Mesa asks loudly, causing a blush to rush to my cheeks as I hear Jared and Tessa laugh.

“Yeah, kid,” I nod slowly, looking between them for a reaction. “Remember when we spoke about this the other day?”

They both nod simultaneously.

“And are you two okay with that?” I ask slowly, hoping they wouldn’t suddenly change their minds. I’d finally agreed to meet this girl (she was a friend of Tim and Ashley’s) after weeks of the two of them trying to set me up with her. It’s not that I didn’t like what I heard (because I really liked what I heard), I just wasn’t sure if the boys were ready for me to do that. At the end of the day, they’re the other little humans I’m coming home to. They have to be happy with me seeing somebody as well.

“Yes daddy,” Mesa nods with a smile. He didn’t really care too much; he was an easy-go-lucky kind of kid. “That’s okay.”

I look at Phoenix and he nods quietly, a little more sensitive than his brother. “Yes daddy. But…don’t be too late.” He mumbles as he looks at his stuffed giraffe, patting it as it sits in his lap.

“Alright kiddo, I won’t be late.” I chuckle, giving them both a kiss. “Be good, okay? And call me before bed if you need to. Mesa, take care of your brother.”

“Yes daddy,” Mesa mumbles as his eyes become glued to the television now that I’m out of the way. “Bye daddy.”

My jaw drops at their bluntness for me to leave.

“Oh they didn’t mean it,” Tessa laughs as she pushes me towards the front door. “We just want you to actually go and not stand the poor girl up.”

I shoot her a look. “I’m not going to stand her up.”

“Good, now go before you’re late and she thinks you are.”

I stop at the front door one last time. “Do you guys really think this is a good idea?” I whisper, keeping my voice down for the boys.

Jared nods, squeezing my shoulder. “It’s okay to do something for yourself, man. You’ve devoted the past six years of your life completely to your sons and to the band- you’ve put yourself last every single time so you deserve one night out, man. And who knows, this girl might be the one.”

I raise an eyebrow. “I thought that about the last girl, look what happened there.”

Jared lets out a laugh and slaps me on the back. “Have a good time, dude. You deserve it. Not all thirty-three year olds can score a twenty-nine year old.”

I leave with a roll of my eyes and Tessa scolding her husband for me as I make my way to my Jeep, nervous as hell. I’ve decided to leave the truck behind tonight, so she doesn’t get the impression that I’m some lumber jack that doesn’t know what a kid-safe vehicle is.

Making sure to take deep breaths on the way to the restaurant, I try to calm myself. I haven’t done this in a really long time- long before the boys were even conceived. I was with their mother for four years before everything happened, so I hardly remember what the first date felt like (or maybe I was forcing myself to forget). Fuck I can’t believe it’s been ten years.

But this new feeling is good, it feels good to feel like this. It’s new, it’s refreshing…it’s what I’ve been needing these past six years.
Before I know it I’m at the outdoor restaurant and making my way to the guy standing behind the podium.

“Hello sir, do you have a reservation?” He asks me with a warm smile.

“O’Callaghan.” I nod. “There might be a girl waiting.”
I should’ve said woman- the last time I did this, I was twenty-three and young enough to say ‘girl’. Now it’s just fucking creepy of me.

“There is indeed, the young lady was fifteen minutes early, she’s quite nervous,” the older man chuckles as he leads me to the table.
“I take it this is a first date?”

“In ten years,” I nod, “at least for myself.”

His eyes widen slightly. “Well just relax, son. She’s gorgeous and very well-mannered, you’re quite the lucky man.” He informs me as he nods towards the table in which we’re headed.

My eyes widen, matching his as they find the table and the gorgeous blonde that sits at it. “T-that’s my date?” I barely manage to stutter out.

“You’re a lucky bastard, kid.” He chuckles as we come to a stop at the table. With such class I know I’ll never have, he places my menu on the table and pulls my chair back. “Good luck.” He whispers, before disappearing.

I look up at the girl who sits before me with a gorgeous smile on her face. “You must be Dakota.” I say, extending my hand. Do we hug?
Do we shake hands? I really don’t know.

She stands to greet me with a hug, kissing my cheek and settling my fears of the first greeting. “And you must be John. It’s a pleasure.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” I tell her with a smile as we both sit down. I can’t take my eyes off of her; I’m completely infatuated. Her long golden hair is magical against her tanned skin. She’s in a simple dress, white lace and above the knee with a denim jacket hanging off the back of her chair. This girl is perfect. She’s worn long sleeves to cover what looks to be a tattoo so I roll the sleeves of my white dress shirt up to subtly let her know I’m a fan. “I’m not going to lie, I’m a little nervous.”

She nods understandingly. “Tim and Ash did say it’s been a while for you.”

The colour drains from my face. They better have not said anything about my six-year celibacy. “I uh, I’ve had a few other things going on in my life.” I admit, rubbing my jaw awkwardly.

“No I completely understand,” she nods, taking a sip of her water. “I devoted myself to my career for so long that I forgot about the other things that matter. But being a workaholic is nothing like raising two kids on your own.”

“They told you about the boys?” I ask, surprised. What didn’t they tell this girl?

She nods with a warm smile. “They’ve been trying to set us up for a while, would you believe?”

I let out a chuckle. “They’ve been up my ass about it- it’s not that I didn’t want to, I just had to properly make sure my kids would be alright with it, y’know? They’re a huge part of me so what they think is important to me.”

“And how old are they?”

We talk more over dinner (when we finally get around to ordering, that is) about Mesa and Phoenix, the band and then what she does for a living. Turns out she’s a journalist, and often writes reviews on books, films and music. She loves to get creative and she claims she’s a sucker for a Sunday morning spent milling about record store bins in search for preloved tunes. This girl is a godsend.
Dakota is very understanding and open when it comes to me talking about the boys. She understands that they’re the most important of my life and that it’ll be a while before I introduce her to them, just to make sure.

“No I completely agree,” she nods before taking a sip of her wine (she’s a red girl, in case you were wondering). “I would be doing the same thing in your position. You’ve got another two little minds to think about.”

I stop for a minute to just take her in. “Y’know, this is going better than I thought it would.”

She raises an eyebrow at me. “How did you think it would go?”

I put my fork down to gain full eye contact, something I wouldn’t normally be able to do so easily. “Well, for starters I didn’t think you’d be so…understanding about the boys. It’s just, a lot of people tend to have their judgements cast when they hear I’m a single dad. I also didn’t think we’d have as much in common as we do.”

“Ashley told me about your big passion for music and literature and I thought she was making it up,” Dakota admits with a laugh, “I said, ‘there’s no way a guy can be that perfect’.”

“Oh darlin’, I’m far from perfect.” I laugh, shaking my head as I reach for my own glass of wine. It went well with pasta, something I’ve learnt from my mother. It also felt good to drink it under the stars- being an outdoor restaurant, the tables and chairs are situated on the grass outside by the water- it really is a remarkable setting. “The only perfect things about me are my six year olds.”

“That right there,” she says quickly, pointing her finger at me, “the way you talk about the two of them is admirable, it really is. It sounds like they’ve shaped you into the man you are today, and that’s truly great.”

I blush a little but can’t help but agree. “I think they have. It’s hard to not talk about them every five minutes,” I laugh, shaking it off. “I can’t imagine life without them.”

“Don’t, you have no need to.” She chuckles, placing a hand subtly over mine on the table. “They’re lucky to have a guy like you for a dad.”

The touch alone sends a shockwave through my body, something I haven’t felt in years. I forgot how good it really feels, just to have this kind of connection. I’m so relieved we’re on the same page with each other (it doesn’t hurt that she’s absolutely gorgeous).

We finish dinner and go for a walk by the water we’ve been eating in front of. For some reason I can’t get enough of Dakota and I’m hoping she feels somewhat the same about me. It’s early days right now but I could see us going on for the rest of ours.
Eventually we make it back to her car. She turns around and gives me one last smile.

“I had a really great time, tonight.” She chuckles, reaching out to caress my arm. “I’d really like to do this again sometime.”

Again, she gives me the good kind of chills. “So would I,” I nod in agreement. “You’ve got my number…we should go get coffee sometime.”

“I’ll call you,” she nods as she unlocks her car. “It really was great to meet you, John.” She smiles as she climbs in.

I can’t help but feel disappointed with myself. Should I have kissed her? I know that I want to. Or am I just desperate to kiss somebody after six years of absolutely no physical contact with the opposite sex?

“You too, Dakota.” I nod, giving a small wave. “I’ll see you soon. Night.”

“Night.”

With that I guess it’s my cue to leave. I turn around and begin walking away, hating myself for not having the balls to just kiss her. I should have-

“John!”

I turn around at the hand on my arm and before I know it they’re on my face and she’s kissing me with her lips. God it feels so good. My hands move to her tiny waist and I kiss her back, but only for a second before she pulls away, that damn smile refusing to leave.

“I just, forget to do that.” She whispers, kissing the corner of my mouth before letting me go. “I’ll see you over coffee.”

I don’t get to say a word because she’s back in her car by the time I can even process what just happened. Heading back to my own, the embarrassing grin tugs at my mouth as I run a hand through my hair, the feeling still on my lips.

I think I could get used to this.