You're My Mission

“I don’t think this is working,” I sighed before taking another sip of coffee. Bucky sat across the table at the cafe, staring aimlessly out the window at the rain. “Do you have any suggestions? Because apparently finding current SHIELD agents is proving to be the wrong approach.”

Ten days had passed since Bucky had ambushed me in my apartment, and we had discovered a possible SHIELD agent every day, only to find that they had no information on Fury or Captain America, or that they were actually a Hydra agent that Bucky had to dispose of for our own safety. It wasn’t exactly going well, but I was at a loss for other options. Trying my personal line to Fury had failed, and that was all I had aside from HQ, but that had been lost too.

“I want to take you somewhere,” Bucky said just when I thought he hadn’t heard me. His gaze shifted from the window to my face and for the first time in the last ten days he didn’t look so lost.

Eager to see what was going on in his mind, I nodded and quickly finished my cup of coffee. Bucky left his untouched and stood, leading us out into the rain. He pulled his jacket’s collar higher around his neck and then fiddled with his left glove, clearly anxious about the water.

“How has your arm been?” I wondered as we strode at a fast pace down the sidewalk.

“Fine…” he muttered, his gaze fluttering downwards.

“But it’s been better?” I pressed on, having a gut feeling that something was wrong.

“I…” Bucky began but he was obviously reluctant about opening up to me about his problems. “I am concerned about it and water.”

“That’s understandable,” I agreed, trying my best to act casual as opposed to fussing so he would be encouraged to continue speaking.

“I was on one of the helicarriers when it went down, with Steve. I fell into the water and I was submerged for a while. I think it might have damaged my arm,” he confessed. Bucky met my eyes, a couple of strands of hair stuck to his face from the rain, and I couldn’t help but smile.

“I’ll take a look at it when we get home,” I suggested and he nodded, his face relaxing considerably. I only had a basic knowledge of electronics, in case I needed to fix a broken transmitter during an emergency, but I hoped I would at least be able to see if he needed immediate attention or not.

We arrived at the Smithsonian and Bucky tried to walk right past the queues and enter without paying. A guard stepped in his way and I quickly intervened, gently grabbing Bucky’s arm and dragging him to the end of the line while apologising to the guard. After I had paid for our entry and we were allowed to progress to the exhibits, I felt Bucky’s eyes on me so I looked up at him.

“I don’t understand this- Things have changed,” he tried to explain, an apology in disguise.

“It’s fine. Where to?” I asked to change the subject and Bucky took a quick look around before halting. He pointed and I followed his line of sight to see a poster for the Captain America exhibit. Intrigued, I was more than happy to walk with him and enter the dark room where the Captain and his comrades were being praised for their heroic acts in the war.

As I grinned at a child comparing himself to the life-size image of Captain America, a hand clasped mine. With the prompt of a gentle tug, Bucky guided me to a particular memorial, its glass pecked with white words and a greyscale image of a man. I gasped as I recognised him. My eyes scanned the memorial, spying James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes up the top. He looked so unfamiliar with short hair and a clean-shaven face, and he had a completely different attitude in the image. This was the man he used to be, before Hydra got their hands on him.

While reading the short blurb about Bucky, I felt his grip on my hand tighten and eventually it started to become unbearable. After glancing up I realised just how stressful it was for him to be here, so I directed him away from the remembrance until he suddenly stopped.

“Her,” he said blankly and I looked at the framed picture. The caption read Agent Peggy Carter, SSR. “We need to find her.”

“Okay,” I agreed as I spotted another picture of her with Captain America. I recognised the smiles on their faces as ones of true happiness, and I knew that if she was still alive that Steve had to have visited her at some point.

Once we left the exhibit, Bucky unable to stand it any longer, I took him to an internet cafe so I could do some anonymous research on Peggy Carter. Fortunately she was rather easy to find an address for, so I scribbled it down and shoved the note in my pocket. As I waited for the computer to log off, I turned to Bucky who had reverted to staring at the rain.

“Hey…” I said, breaking him out of his trance. Blue eyes locked with mine. “I just wanted to say that I know it was really difficult for you going in there, and I appreciate that you showed me.” He gave a tiny nod of acknowledgement.

“Have you ever wondered who I was? Before…” Bucky trailed off and his body stiffened.

“All the time. They never told me, and I hated not knowing,” I admitted.

“It was the same for me,” he continued and we fell silent, a sense of understanding washing over me. I forced a smile on my face to try to cheer him up.

“I’ll help find you some answers, I promise,” I said and Bucky shifted his hopeless gaze back to the window. His despair tugged at my heart and I leapt from my seat. “Come on, we’ve got an agent to visit.”