Status: In-Progress
Behind the Make-Up
3. Little Bit
I woke up this morning anxious about what this day was going to bring. It had been two days since my arrival here in Atlanta, and I had grown quite lonely very quickly. I had met Lauren and gotten somewhat close to her but she was busy gearing up for the show, so we didn’t talk all too much. Only when she would start to head up to her apartment on the third floor. I had thought long and hard about how I wanted to solve this problem of loneliness and decided on adding a kitten into the mix. I had talked to Steven about the nearest places that would be best to adopt one, and he gave me directions to a nice place just down the road.
Deciding that was what I was going to do for the day before my late night on set, I decided to get my ass out of bed and get dressed. I put on some yoga pants and hoodie and put my hair in a bun – not really focusing on my appearance until later tonight. I slipped on my Nikes and ran out the door. It was already two – I had been sleeping late due to the fact of all the unpacking and organizing I had done. I couldn’t stand clutter. I got into my car and put the key into the ignition. I looked into the rearview mirror and saw my eyes filled with anxiety. I sighed and looked behind me to pull out of my parking space.
I walked into the pet store and I was overcome with sound from all the sweet animals. I smiled as the feeling of loneliness left my body. I immediately went to area that was filled with kittens.
“Well, hi there, sweetie.” I mumbled as I pick up a little black cat. She immediately bit me. “Ow, you little jerk.” I put her down and noticed a mom and her son beside me - staring at me. I grinned awkwardly. I went over a ways down and met eyes with the little one in the corner of a cage. The kitten was curled up, while the others in the cage were fighting and rolled over on top of her. I picked the sweet thing up, and she nuzzled up into my neck.
“You want her?” A man came up to me and smiled.
“Yes, please!!” I filled out the forms that were needed, got a crate, a litter box, litter, dishes, and some food for little bit and we were out the door. I smiled as I placed her in the passenger seat and got into my own. I looked at her, knowing what I was going to name her. “Nala.”
I walked up the stairs to my dooring noticing Steven leaving.
“Hey! Need helped?” He said, referring to my full hands, and the crate with little bit in it. “Is this the new one?” I nodded as he took her crate from my hands, allowing me to open my door. He held the door for me as I placed her things on the counter. “Have you named her?” I nodded.
“Nala.” I saw him grin great big. “The Lion King is my favorite Disney movie.”
“I figured so.” He got her out of the crate and put her down into the floor so she could explore. I quickly filled a food and water dish for her and Steven got her litter box settled – thankfully she was already litter trained. “Looks like you pick a good one. She’s cute.” I nodded towards him, he was getting used to my quiet tone. “I have to run some errands before head to set. I’ll see you later.” I walked him to the door and he was gone. He was a sweet guy.
I looked at the clock – four on the nose. I had to be on set around 5:30. I decided to go take shower. I had spent longer in there than I normally do, trying to was away my anxiety. My nerves were over coming me and I wished I could find a way to keep my stomach from forming in my throat. I stepped out and wrapped a towel around myself, paying attention to myself in the foggy mirror. My wet, brown hair flowed down past my chest - of which, I had to make sure I found the right shirt to wear that wouldn’t accentuate what clearly couldn’t be missed. Being more blessed than average had its perks but also its downfalls, especially when your job requires you bending over right in front of someone. The same thing was to be said about my lower half – I had trouble finding pants that covered my assets…but also fit around my waist correctly. I had a clear hourglass figure with curves in the places women should have curves, but I let myself feel self-conscience, I’ve naturally always had this body shape, and when I tried to lose weight, it just made everything more prominent. I had eventually learned just to somewhat “accept” it and learned to cover myself up. I had never been fully confident in my skin, and events in past didn’t help either. It caused me anxiety in skin, and caused me to back away from any intimate activity – even as little as a hug.
I walked out of the bathroom after my train of though and to my closet, trying to decide what to wear. I looked over the clothes on the hangers and found a pair of almost-jeggings – they weren’t desperately tight. I matched it with a band T-shirt (that fully covered my chest by the way) and a sweater, then went to the bathroom to dry my hair in loose curls. After I finished with that, I decided to put on some makeup, only just to brighten my already dark brown eyes. Little bit decided to walk up to me and rub her head up against my ankle, I smiled and picked her up. I walked out of the bathroom, holding Nala and looked at the clock – 5:15.
“Shit.” I put her down, grabbed my shoes and keys and ran out the door.
This is it. New journey begins, now.
Deciding that was what I was going to do for the day before my late night on set, I decided to get my ass out of bed and get dressed. I put on some yoga pants and hoodie and put my hair in a bun – not really focusing on my appearance until later tonight. I slipped on my Nikes and ran out the door. It was already two – I had been sleeping late due to the fact of all the unpacking and organizing I had done. I couldn’t stand clutter. I got into my car and put the key into the ignition. I looked into the rearview mirror and saw my eyes filled with anxiety. I sighed and looked behind me to pull out of my parking space.
I walked into the pet store and I was overcome with sound from all the sweet animals. I smiled as the feeling of loneliness left my body. I immediately went to area that was filled with kittens.
“Well, hi there, sweetie.” I mumbled as I pick up a little black cat. She immediately bit me. “Ow, you little jerk.” I put her down and noticed a mom and her son beside me - staring at me. I grinned awkwardly. I went over a ways down and met eyes with the little one in the corner of a cage. The kitten was curled up, while the others in the cage were fighting and rolled over on top of her. I picked the sweet thing up, and she nuzzled up into my neck.
“You want her?” A man came up to me and smiled.
“Yes, please!!” I filled out the forms that were needed, got a crate, a litter box, litter, dishes, and some food for little bit and we were out the door. I smiled as I placed her in the passenger seat and got into my own. I looked at her, knowing what I was going to name her. “Nala.”
I walked up the stairs to my dooring noticing Steven leaving.
“Hey! Need helped?” He said, referring to my full hands, and the crate with little bit in it. “Is this the new one?” I nodded as he took her crate from my hands, allowing me to open my door. He held the door for me as I placed her things on the counter. “Have you named her?” I nodded.
“Nala.” I saw him grin great big. “The Lion King is my favorite Disney movie.”
“I figured so.” He got her out of the crate and put her down into the floor so she could explore. I quickly filled a food and water dish for her and Steven got her litter box settled – thankfully she was already litter trained. “Looks like you pick a good one. She’s cute.” I nodded towards him, he was getting used to my quiet tone. “I have to run some errands before head to set. I’ll see you later.” I walked him to the door and he was gone. He was a sweet guy.
I looked at the clock – four on the nose. I had to be on set around 5:30. I decided to go take shower. I had spent longer in there than I normally do, trying to was away my anxiety. My nerves were over coming me and I wished I could find a way to keep my stomach from forming in my throat. I stepped out and wrapped a towel around myself, paying attention to myself in the foggy mirror. My wet, brown hair flowed down past my chest - of which, I had to make sure I found the right shirt to wear that wouldn’t accentuate what clearly couldn’t be missed. Being more blessed than average had its perks but also its downfalls, especially when your job requires you bending over right in front of someone. The same thing was to be said about my lower half – I had trouble finding pants that covered my assets…but also fit around my waist correctly. I had a clear hourglass figure with curves in the places women should have curves, but I let myself feel self-conscience, I’ve naturally always had this body shape, and when I tried to lose weight, it just made everything more prominent. I had eventually learned just to somewhat “accept” it and learned to cover myself up. I had never been fully confident in my skin, and events in past didn’t help either. It caused me anxiety in skin, and caused me to back away from any intimate activity – even as little as a hug.
I walked out of the bathroom after my train of though and to my closet, trying to decide what to wear. I looked over the clothes on the hangers and found a pair of almost-jeggings – they weren’t desperately tight. I matched it with a band T-shirt (that fully covered my chest by the way) and a sweater, then went to the bathroom to dry my hair in loose curls. After I finished with that, I decided to put on some makeup, only just to brighten my already dark brown eyes. Little bit decided to walk up to me and rub her head up against my ankle, I smiled and picked her up. I walked out of the bathroom, holding Nala and looked at the clock – 5:15.
“Shit.” I put her down, grabbed my shoes and keys and ran out the door.
This is it. New journey begins, now.