Sequel: Everything After ›
Status: Life in Progress
Notes on Heartbreak
Anniversaries
I think today would be our 20 month. One year, eight months. Funny isn't it? How today is also one day away from being two weeks of not talking? A month and two weeks of being broken up. How four months from today we could have made it to 24 months, 2 years, I always thought we would. I always thought we would make it. I would've stayed for 200 months by your side. Maybe I just say that now that I know what it's like to be without you, and maybe if you asked me two months ago I would hesitate to say that we would even make it to two years. Its amazing isn't it? How much can change when circumstances change? How much you are willing to risk when you truly realize what's at stake?
We walk by each other now like strangers. Complete and total strangers with no history or memories or past. I hate it. Even more so I hate thinking that in a perfect world I would be hugging you from behind as you pass me in the parking lot after practice, or making a funny face at you while you wink at me on the soccer field. On a day like today, our anniversary, the 14th, it hurts even more.
I want to talk to you so badly you have no idea. But this is my only hope of winning you back, of you realizing what's happened, of you changing your mind, of you figuring out what you want. I am so scared Cam, so unbelievably scared. Every time that I think that maybe I have lost you forever, that I will never talk to you again, that we will always be strangers to each other from this moment, that you will find someone else... maybe even this weekend. And what a twisted anniversary that would be; the day that my soul goes to hell, that my hopes go to shit. The day that you find someone else, that you move on in that way, that will be the anniversary of my eternal heart ache.
We walk by each other now like strangers. Complete and total strangers with no history or memories or past. I hate it. Even more so I hate thinking that in a perfect world I would be hugging you from behind as you pass me in the parking lot after practice, or making a funny face at you while you wink at me on the soccer field. On a day like today, our anniversary, the 14th, it hurts even more.
I want to talk to you so badly you have no idea. But this is my only hope of winning you back, of you realizing what's happened, of you changing your mind, of you figuring out what you want. I am so scared Cam, so unbelievably scared. Every time that I think that maybe I have lost you forever, that I will never talk to you again, that we will always be strangers to each other from this moment, that you will find someone else... maybe even this weekend. And what a twisted anniversary that would be; the day that my soul goes to hell, that my hopes go to shit. The day that you find someone else, that you move on in that way, that will be the anniversary of my eternal heart ache.