Dirty Little Secrets

Black hair. Why did I dye it? What the fuck was wrong with blonde hair, Brook? That nice, angel blessed, blonde hair that curled around my head.

It didn't suit you. Yeah that was it..........
It made you look more disgusting then what you already are, just think of the way Daniel would run his fingers thru it and tease you about being a dumb blonde.

But he wasn't teasing you, he was telling the truth, you are dumb Brooke, why can't you get that in your fucking head thick head?

Yeah, maybe dying my hair black was a good idea, and so was straightening it. Them curls made your head look ten times bigger, at least now its straight and I can brush it in my face so nobody has to look at me.

Rubbing my tired sore eyes I stare into the grubby toilet mirror, hiding in the boys toilets while everyone else scurried of for lunch was a regular thing for me. I just couldn't face eating.......

Especially not in front of him, my boyfriend, Daniel. I hate the way he laughs at me when I stuffs my fat gob with greasy foods, that killer smirk that forms on his, angel like face. Aha, Daniel was far from an angel, but he was blessed with their gods given looks.

I hate the way my face looks when I meet it in the mirror, the black rings around my eyes reminds me of last night, my mom came back to the flat again with a different man, Bobby my little brother screaming to be fed but all she cares about is getting her latest catch into bed, leaving baby duties down to me again. I sigh, before rubbing the bridge of my nose with on hand as the other enters into the back pocket of my jeans, pulling out a small blade I had picked out of a razor this morning.

I liked the pain self harming brought me, it felt different. Different because it was nothing like the emotional pain I went thru at home, no this pain was hurt in a different way and I liked being hurt in that way.

I pull of my red wrist band and threw it in the empty sink as i place the tip of the blade carefully onto my skin. I press it down harder as it softy pierces thru the thin layer of skin on my wrist, sending small droplets of blood to pop out. I swallow hard and tighter my grip around the small blade, as tears start to spill and fingers start to drag. The blade easily pierces thru the rest of my skin, I try to push the blade in deeper but my emotions take over as my fingers go numb and I can't no longer continue. My bottom lip qwievers as I look down on yet another cut I had added to my disgusting skin.

"Umm are you ok dude?" I freeze. Why the fuck hadn't I heard someone walk in? Who even comes to the toilets during lunch? My eyes glare up into the mirror at the figure standing behind me. Joseph Hemmings. Joseph fucking Hemmings.

"I I'm fi-, I its just, I I was, its-" I start, as I pull down the sleeve of my jumper, bringing my arm closer to my chest.

"Hey, calm down" he says, as my other hand trails up to my cheeks wiping away the tears "I'm not gonna tell anybody, if that's what your thinking".

"Thank you" I murmur, unsure of what to say next. Nobody knew about my self harming and I wanted it to stay that way.

"Are you ok? Do you wanna talk or something?" My clenches tighter so the blade pressed against my skin, no way was I gonna talk to some stupid kid who dt have a clue what I'm going thru right now.

Just say no Brook, he only started talking to you because of pity in the first place..........

"Erm your Brook Benner, right?" He swallows, breaking the uncomfortable silence, "your in my art classes".

My eyes glare up to his, they were coffee brown with big black pupils. Maybe he just might pretend as if the last 60 seconds didn't happen........

"Your pretty good art drawing" he breaths, giving me a small smile.

Well you know that's a lie Brook.......

"I errr, I gotta be somwhere" I murmur, pushing past him.

"No please wait" he whines, grabbing on to my arm and pulling me back, I turn to face him,

"What?"

"I-i wanna help you" he murmurs, starring me in the eye, I let out a small fake laugh, shaking my head,

"Listen kid, if you wanna help me, keep your mouth shut, no I really need to be somewhere" I snatches my arm away from his pathetic grip, before turning my back and opening the toilet door to walk out. Help me? How the fuck is some stupid kid going to help me?

I walk down the school corridors, making my way to the lunch hall. The groups of girls laughing boys being jerks doesn't even notice the tears that I'd been crying so before anyone did I wiped them away with the sleeve of my black jumper. Stupid fucking kid, he didn't wanna help you, he doesn't even know you, why would-,

"Where do you think your going" a familiar voice says as a hand a hand stretches across the opening of the door which led to the dinner hall, blocking my way thru. My eyes glare up to meehe brunette standing in front of me, Tristan.

"Get outta my way Tristan" I moan, as I try to push past his hand, only to be pushed back by one of his stupid mates,

No Brook, you the stupid one, remember?

"What's with the red eyes, Brook" Tristan smirks, "was you up all night smoking weed again?".

"Fuck of, you don't know nothing" I almost yell, as I effortlessly try to push past him again, but its no use, "Tristan just let me pass, please".

"Pay first" he smirks, pushing me back, knowing I didn't have them money, "or did you waste all your cash on drugs".

"Hey!" I hear someone yell, behind Tristan, but he's blocking my view so I can't really see who it was, "let him in".

"Oh Daniel" Tristan says, giving him a crooked smile. Fuck, it had to be Daniel didn't it. "Come to save your pathetic little boyfriend?"

"Do you wanna shut your mouth?" Daniel snarls, coming into view "because if you don't I'm gonna shut it for ya".

Daniel grabs hold of wrist, pulling me next to him, he was huge of to my fragile frame.

"Is that a threat?" Tristan spits, stepping closer and holding his head up high so he could reach Daniels height. I felt like shrinking until I was no longer visible to the naked eye.

Daniel looks up at the cieling$ and laughs before looking back down at Tristan, "well if it was" he starts, with a stupid grin still plastered on his face, "what are you gonna do about, shorty?".

Fuck....