His Saving Grace

When the door closed, Bucky pulled me outside, onto the patio.

“Stay.” He said softly, and I rose an eyebrow. His eyes pleaded with me. “Please. I don’t remember enough, and I think it’ll help if there’s someone I know I can trust.” He said softly, and my eyes widened.

“You trust me?” I asked and Bucky nodded.

“Yes.”

“Even though you know I’m not telling you everything? What happened to that man in my safe house? It’s been, what, a day, two?” I asked, wanting a serious answer. I didn’t see why he would trust me after so little time, not when I wasn’t telling him everything.

“You could have left me at that diner. Say you were going to the bathroom. Snuck out the back while those Hydra agents were busy with me. You could have left me in your apartment when Hydra came. You could have ignored the warning that you got that I was looking for you. You didn’t, which means that you won’t turn me into Hydra.” He said, watching me carefully.

I shrugged. “Or I could have been paying my debt. I’d have never gotten away from Hydra if you hadn’t helped me.” I said, crossing my arms.

“You got caught again. I don’t remember it.” He said softly and I shrugged.

“You were under ice for most of it. I saw you maybe once, heading out for a mission.” I said, and Bucky frowned.

“I remember most of my time recently. After you got out, that’s all blank. But I wasn’t awake again until Steve.”

I nodded, a small, sad smile on my face. “I know.”

He frowned at me for a moment before shaking his head.

“You went after Hydra.” He said, and I nodded slowly. He stepped back and leaned against the railing, watching me expectantly.

“Like I said in the safe house. I was as stupid then as you’re being now.” I said somewhat defensively. “I got out because of you, Bucky. I felt like I owed you something. My life hasn’t been great since, but it’s been better. I wanted that for you, at least for a few days. I talked to everyone I could think of, trying to find out where Hydra was hiding you. They moved you, after I got out. I found a man, Nick. I gave him some intel on Hydra and he promised me he’d find them. I got caught by a few agents a couple hours after I met with him. I thought he was one of them, that he was planted to get any information I had on Hydra and then send a team my way when he was done.”

Bucky was silent, watching me carefully. “But he wasn’t.” He assumed. I nodded.

“No, he wasn’t. I think Hydra found out who I met with, and that was who you were sent to kill that day.” I said softly, watching him carefully. He hadn’t mentioned any of his missions since he found me, and bringing them up was the last thing I wanted to do.

“So, if it wasn’t for you trying to bring Hydra down, I’d still be doing their dirty work.” Bucky said, making eye contact. “I trust you, Grace. I need you here, watching my back. I can’t do it on my own.” He said, and I shook my head softly.

“That’s what Steve’s for.” I said, but Bucky was already shaking his head.

“I don’t trust Steve. I don’t remember enough. And I’m a different person than who he remembers.
I’ve killed people, Grace. Innocent, good people. I attacked him, as soon as he was close enough. I could have killed him, I was trying to. I don’t want to kill any more innocent people.” Bucky said.
I felt his pain. I did. But I knew that going down this path with Bucky wouldn’t end well. Someone was going to get hurt. I just knew it. I knew it was going to be Bucky who died doing this.

“Going after Hydra will just get you killed, Bucky. They can’t put you back on ice, you’ve been out too long. And wiping your memory doesn’t work. Not after what happened in DC. I don’t want to stay and watch.” I said, taking a deep breath and watching the street. It was quiet, peaceful. It was someplace I would love to live in, but also something I could never have. It was apartment buildings with walls covered in weapons and security cameras. With booby traps of poorly made wires and wheels and ugly furniture. A life that was just surviving, hiding, and running.

But it was better than living in a cell, where I couldn’t do anything but wait until Hydra cooked something else up to experiment with.

A fugitive is better than a guinea pig.

“I… I understand.” Bucky said softly, looking at the house. I risked a glance at him but ended up staring. His face was heartbreaking. He looked lost, exactly like at the club. He didn’t have anyone he felt he could trust, and here’s the one person who he does trust, amazingly, and I’m telling him to go get his revenge without backup, without help he could trust.

I was such a bitch.

But I was also a sucker for those damn eyes of his.

“I’ll stay.” I sighed softly, but he heard me. He turned quickly, unable to hide the relief quickly enough. It made my stomach somersault, at least a little bit. I hadn’t been trusted before.

It…

It was a nice feeling.