The Answer's in the Smile.

I woke up feeling like shit the next morning, more than usual anyway. I groaned as I dragged myself downstairs and into the kitchen. My mum was standing by the counter, sipping on what I guessed was coffee. She was still on her pyjamas and had her glasses on, which only meant she had just woken up. I prepared my own coffee and sat down at the table.

"Morning mom. I don't feel too good, can I stay at home today?" She took another sip and shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't mind. But remember, you don't want to be here when your dad comes home" She said, leaving the room.

I sighed going back upstairs and to my room again. I pulled out my phone and put my music on shuffle. I fell asleep, Green Day blasting in my ears. I woke up at 8:03AM and sighed. Instantly after, my phone went off. Was Alex texting me, again? I rolled my eyes and read the text.

From Alex Gaskarth: Can you tell the director I'm not going? I don't feel too good.

To Alex Gaskarth: Can't. I'm not going either, sorry,

From Alex Gaskarth: How come?

To Alex Gaskarth: I'm sick.

From Alex Gaskarth: Want me to come over, so we can talk or something?

To Alex Gaskarth: No.

From Alex Gaskarth: Why not?

To Alex Gaskarth: I don't want to be friends with you Alex. I've pushed everyone that's hurt me away from my life, don't get in the wrong way.

From Alex Gaskarth: What makes you think that I'm going to hurt you? You don't even know me.

To Alex Gaskarth: Everyone manages to hurt me eventually.

From Alex Gaskarth: K dude, whatever. You can now delete my phone number and ignore me at school if you want to. Bye.

I felt guilt take over my mind and felt sick to my stomach. I didn't even give him a chance to know me and I was already pushing him away. It wasn't right and I knew it. I laid down on my bed. I waited a few minutes and picked up my phone again.

To Alex Gaskarth: Do you know the park in front of the guitar shop?

From Alex Gaskarth: Ugh no. I'm the new kiddo here, remember?

To Alex Gaskarth: I don't know how to explain where it is.

From Alex Gaskarth: Meet me on Thames Street

I got ready and headed outside at 10AM. My dad would be at home at 1PM so I'd have to stay away from my house until around 3PM. I put my earphones in and dragged myself down the street with my hands in my jeans' pockets. I kept looking down the whole way; I didn't want to face a teacher or anyone who was having a break in case they made me go back to class.

I sat down on a large bench and pulled my knees into my chest so I could hug my legs, and rested my temple on them. Right then, I saw someone handing me a cup of coffee from the corner of my eyes. I turned my head and realised that it was Alex.

"I got you this. I didn't know what you like so it's plain coffee. We can go back and take whatever you'd like" He said quickly.

I smiled and took the cup in both hands, the weather wasn't that cold but I wasn't feeling too good so I just put down the cup and placed both of my hands in my hoodie.

Ten minutes passed and no one said anything or even moved. But right then something came to my mind "I can't stay much on the phone or my dad is going to-". I had to know what he meant with that. It's not like I cared, but I felt really uncomfortable not knowing what it was all about.

"Hey, Alex?" I asked turning to face him. He just hummed and looked at me sipping on his coffee.

"You know when I called you yesterday?" He nodded and looked at me without hesitation or any emotion at all. "Well, you said that you couldn't stay much longer on the phone because your dad was going to do or say something and you basically hung up" He looked away, no word leaving his mouth. He just stared at one of the red slides in front of us and sighed. I gave up waiting after a few minutes.

I stood up and started walking away. I couldn't go home but I didn't want to stay there, just waiting for him to speak or make a move. I didn't care about him, I didn't want him in my life and I was out. I sighed when I realised that he was following me. I rolled my eyes and turned around.

"What do you want now? Are you even going to talk or you're just going to sit there and wait for me to go away again?" Harsh, I know.

Damn, I couldn't even believe what I was saying. I didn't know the boy, yet I was judging and running away from him when he just wanted someone to talk. He gulped and looked at the ground.

"I'm sorry" He simply said. I frowned and got a little closer to him.

"Why?" I asked. I was confused. He didn't do anything wrong, it was my fault that I ran away from him. It was me who said No every time he wanted to hang out and talk. I was such a mess.

"For talking to you in the first place" My eyes widened. I opened my mouth to say something, anything. I wasn't used to hurt people like that, not when we didn't even know each other. I closed my mouth but opened it again. I did that over and over again, looking at the blonde boy. I just didn't know what to say.

I held one of his hands and managed to sit on another bench next to the previous one we had been sitting on. I looked at his now red and watery eyes and licked my lips so I could manage to let out a word so he looked at me for a second and looked away again. I got closer and hugged him tight. He buried his face into my neck and sobbed, trying not to be loud, but still sobbed. I closed my eyes. It felt good to be wrapped around someone, I felt safe. I pulled away and wiped his tears.

"I'm not ready to tell you yet" I just nodded and sat there in silence. "Why don't you ever want to hang out? Or even meet up just to talk?" I knew he wasn't going to tell anyone so I decided to speak to him.

"I can't hang out when my dad is at home" I said simply, trying to avoid eye contact with him but he turned around and pulled his knees into his chest so he could hug his legs, letting me talk out. I closed my eyes and began talking.

"I have to take care of my little sister while my dad is at home. He used to beat me up. When I turned 13, I punched him in the nose and like the innocent boy I was at the time, I thought he was dizzy and had accidentally hit my sister thinking she was me, but- he then said 'Does it hurt to see your sister bleeding" so I guess he did it on purpose. My- May, my sister. She hates me for it. It was a while ago, I know but- I don't know, she's never spoken to me again since that happened. I miss her so much. She's the only one I love in the entire world and I screwed everything up. He- my dad used to hit my mum too. They just ignore each other. My family is so fucked up, I miss May. I miss telling everything to my mom and I miss messing around with my dad. I liked someone back then. Her name was Atlanta. We dated for about a year and then she said that she loved me and I pushed her away because I couldn't take those words. I liked her, of course I liked her. I don't believe in love, I won't ever believe in love because of my parents, Alex. I'm so fucked up"

I opened my eyes when I was done to see that Alex's face had dropped. His mouth was literally shaking and his eyes were reddish because of the tears running through his pink cheeks. He licked his lips and said "M'sorry". Ha okay.

"Don't say that"

"Say what?" He frowned and wiped his tears with his right sleeve.

"Don't say you're fucking sorry because you're not. Just- don't. We're not friends and we won't ever be so back off okay? You can't just appear in my life and make me feel like shit and make me tell you this so you can go to school and tell everyone about my shitty life. If you say a word, a single word, I don't know if you care a little about me or not but I swear if you say a single word, I'm going to fucking-" But he cut me off by hugging me.

"I'm home alone, let's go there and watch a movie or something. Would you like that?" I gulped and nodded, pulling a fake smile. After all, I felt safe in his arms for a strange reason.