I'll Make You See It Was All Real

Lucy’s POV

Weather. We are talking about the bloody weather. Oh lord this is even more awkward than I thought it would be. Over the phone we couldn’t see each other. But now sitting inches from each other waiting for my name to be called for my scan. This is odd. “So another scan. Baby will be bigger today” he says. “Ya I hope so” I whisper. If it wasn’t thoughts of the kiss that had been keeping me from sleeping. Then it was thoughts about the baby. And they weren’t happy thoughts. I kept picturing been told there was no heartbeat. That the baby had died.

“How have you being feeling Lucy?” Sally my midwife asks as I hop onto the bed. “Good” I say rolling my top up. “You got your appointment?” she asks. “Ya Monday morning” I say. “What appointment?” Cris asks. “With her doctor. Nothing to worry about. Just a check up for mom and baby” Sally says. “I only found out this morning” I say to Cris who was sat in a chair beside the bed. I don’t want him thinking that I’m keeping stuff about the baby from him. “Now this maybe cold” Sally says squeezing the gel onto my stomach. “Nothing changes” I say. “Ya you should see a big difference from your last scan” she says moving the dropper over and back on my stomach. “Is ok?” I ask after a few minutes of silence. “If it’s bigger then surely you should see it quicker” I say. “Lucy relax. Sally knows what she is doing” Cris says taking my hand. “I’m just checking the baby’s measurements. See here’s your baby” she says moving the monitor so we can see better.

“Is it ok?” I ask my eyes on the screen. “The baby is growing how we would like” Sally says. “Can we hear the heartbeat please?” Cris asks. “Of course” she replies. She presses a button and soon the room is filled with the most beautiful sound that I have ever heard. “Thank God” I whisper and Cris squeezes my fingers. I look at him and he grins. “Ya ya. I know you were right” I mutter to him and his grins grows bigger.

“Now considering how far long you are I could tell you the sex of the baby if you would like?” Sally asks. “I don’t know” I say. I hadn’t given much thought about whether it was a boy or girl. All I hoped was that it was ok. “I guess it would be nice to know. But..” I stutter. “You don’t have to decide today. You have many more scans if you wish to find out in the future” Sally say. “We could find out today or” Cris says. “Or?” I ask. “We could wait till the birth. A surprise” he says. “A surprise I think I’ll enjoy having” I smile. “So that’s a no to finding out. Perfect” Sally says and hands me some tissue paper. “Now I’ll just print out some pictures and make some notes for your doctor. I’ll meet you outside” Sally says leaving us in the room.

“So do you think we will change our minds about finding out?” Cris asks as I wipe my stomach. “No changing our minds” I say swinging my legs over the edge. “Deal” he says holding out his hand. “Deal” I say shaking his hand. “Did you see how big it had gotten?” he asks. “Ya I know” I smile. “I can’t believe that it’s growing inside you right now” he smiles looking at my stomach. “Ya he or she is” I say hoping off the bed. “Luce are you ok?” he asks looking at me with a concerned face.

“Can I have a hug?” I blurt out. “I just…It doesn’t matter” I say shaking my head as I can feel tears building up. He wraps his arms around me and I lay my head against his chest. After all that worry, I just needed someone to hold me. “You can have a hug anytime” he whispers holding me tight. “You’ve had a long day” he says shifting a little to look down at me. “You said goodbye to your Dad and Lisa. You were worried about today. Why don’t you come back to mine?” he asks. “I…” I say lifting my head to look at him. “Maé and my sisters are still there. I’m sure they would love to see you. And so would Marcosa” he smiles. “Cris I don’t” I stutter. “The company might be nice for you” he says. Going back to my apartment didn’t sound that appealing to me. “Ok” I say and he smiles with a hint of surprise that I agreed. “Great. That’s great” he smiles. “I’ll follow you in my car” I say. “Are you sure? I can drive you” he says. “I’m sure” I say. “Ok I’ll see you there then” he says.

“Cris” I say. “You haven’t changed your mind already?” he asks. “Not but you’ll have to let me go if I’m to go to yours” I say. “Oh ya sorry” he says releasing me. I complety ignore all the negative doubts swirling around my head as I drive to Cristiano’s house. What ever happens I want him in my life. We are having a baby together. We can at least be friends. I know he cares about me. More than cares. I just don’t know if I can trust him. I don’t know if I can cope with him hurting me again.

“Hello cutie” I smile as Marcosa runs towards me as I walk towards the house and the dog jumps onto to me. “Marcosa down” Cris yells and I look up to see him walking towards me. “How’s my favourite dog?” I smile rubbing Marcosa’s head as he stands on his back legs. “Still ignoring what I tell him” Cris groans. “I always said he was a smart dog” I joke and he rolls his eyes. “You came” he says. “I told you I would” I say. “What?” I ask as he stands smiling at me. “Nothing” he says. “Are we going to stand out here all day?” I ask. “Let’s go” he smiles.

“So how is my favourite little boy?” I ask Katia as Elma clears the table after a lovely meal. “Annoyed he’s not here. He misses you like crazy” she says. “He’s not the only one who misses you” Elma says nodding to the couch where Nuno and Cris are trying and failing miserably to get Marcosa off the couch. “Elma” Katia warned her sister. “It’s ok Katia. He can’t miss something that wasn’t even real in the first place Elma” I say. “What you and my brother have. And I mean have. Is real Lucy” Elma says. “And that’s the only thing that matters” Katia says. “It’s complicated” I say. “Even the good things in life are complicated” Dolores says joining us a the table once more. “Maybe” I say taking a sip of my water.

“Cris will you turn down the TV” Elma roars as the volume rose higher. “I’m trying. Marcosa is sitting on the remote and won’t get up” he says. “Marcosa down” I yell and the dogs jumps off the couch and comes to sit by my chair. “If only men could be so easily trained” Katia says and I laugh. “Turn of the football” Elma groans. “Would you like some ice cream Lucy?” Dolores asks me. “Of course she would Dolores. I’m surprised she hasn’t turned into a cow the amount of ice cream she eats” Nuno shouts from the couch his eyes fixed on the TV. “Are you trying to say that I’m fat Nuno?” I ask. “What no. No of course not. You look great. Still hot even with a bump” Nuno says quickly turning to look at him. “Just say she doesn’t look like a cow and shut up you idiot” Cristiano says smacking Nuno on the back of the head. “Hey” Nuno says and I laugh.

“I’ll get some ice cream so” Dolores says rolling her eyes at the men. “Hey Lucy you’ll want to see this. It’s Gerrard’s goal from last weekend” Nuno says. I stand to help clear the table when I feel something and drop the glass in my hand. “Lucy” everyone shouts as I place my hand on my stomach. I didn’t imagine that” Did I? “Lucy” Cris says placing his hands on my shoulders.

“Are you ok?” he asks trying to figure out what is the matter. “I thought I felt something” I say. “In your stomach?” he asks and I nod. “Ah babbba wants to say hi finally” Katia says. “I don’t know. I could have imagined it” I say. “Can you feel anything now?” Cris asks and I shake my head. “Maybe it was all in my head. Oh Dolores I’m sorry about the glass” I say looking at the floor. “Oh that’s alright” she says. “I’m sure you’ll start to feel the baby soon” Katia.

“Hopefully when I’m around” Cris mutters. “Ah here they are showing Gerrard’s goal again” Nuno wines. “It was a good goal” I say looking at the TV. “You would say that” Nuno replies. “”He did connect with the ball good there” Cris reluctantly says as Gerrard kicks the ball on the TV screen. “Oh” I say holding my stomach. “Lucy” Cris says panicked. “Ouch” I say and catch his hand and place it on my stomach. “Do you feel that? That’s not just in my head?” I ask. “Wow” he smiles. “Ya wow” I say smiling at him as it hits me that there really is a baby growing inside of me. “It’s like real” Cris says. “And he calls me an idiot” Nuno chimes. “Like hearing the heartbeat was amazing but” Cris stutters.

“We are having a baby. This is our baby” I say. “Our baby” he whispers and places a kiss on my forehead. And I realise that it’s the first time that I have said this. It’s out baby.