The Fever Becomes My Home

It was hard.

It was so, incredibly hard to have that man in his room.

Elizabeth just stood there, watching, as the man sat on his bed and talked to him... looked at him... She did nothing when he smiled, when he acted sweet. She knew better than anybody what he had been through and she did absolutely nothing.

Andy sat in the same position he had been for the past few hours, rocking back and forth and whimpering into his knees. If he hadn't had taken his meds at breakfast, he would have been going batshit crazy at this point. He would have been pulling his hair out and screaming at the shadow to go away, hearing the shouts and cries of his mother in his head. Hearing the gunshots...

"Andy..." There was a gentle knock on his door frame, earning Andy's immediate attention. "Are you okay?"

Andy shook his head and looked at his feet again, studying the old, grey socks.

"Listen, I know you're scared of him. But he's harmless, I promise." She whispered.

"I don't like the man." Andy said hoarsely.

"His name is Ashley, not 'the man.'" She rolled her eyes. "Ashley went through our screening and background checks and he's 100% clean. He is not your father."

Andy cringed and curled in on himself tighter. "I want to be alone." He whispered.

"Oh, Andy-"
"Go!" He threw a pillow in her direction, which she dodged. Elizabeth stood silently and walked to the door.

"I'll be back with your dinner, ok?" She said softly and left the room. Elizabeth walked down the hall to the room where all the patients gathered in to eat and socialize a little. The room was filled with the aroma of whatever the cafeteria was serving that evening, and the chatter of nurses, doctors and some patients. Her eyes scanned the room until she saw Ashley in the other half of the cafeteria, speaking to another patient he had met earlier. Elizabeth made her way over.

"Oh, hey." He smiled at her. "How's Andy?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "Not good, unfortunately. He's shaken up..."

Ashleys smile faded. "Oh... Does he not like me?"
"No, No it's not that he doesn't like you. He's just... afraid of... men." She said the last part hesitantly. "I'll explain, but not here, ok? He doesn't like me talking about it around the patients."

Ashley nodded in understanding and followed her out to the hallway. "So what's up? Is Andy ok?"
"Andy has what's called Schizoaffective disorder, as I said before. You know what that is, correct?" Elizabeth sighed.

"Yeah... That's when the patient has schizophrenic symptoms and another mood disorder. What does he have?"

"Post Traumatic Stress disorder, unfortunately. If it were depression, we could easily give him prescribed medication and he'd be fine, but... Well, PTSD isn't that easy. Especially his case..." She said softly and sat down in a chair. "I don't want to go into too much detail. Andys very, very sensitive to the topic, and he doesn't like anyone knowing. I'm the only one he'll talk to, so I'm the only one who knows everything in detail."

"Oh.. I see." Ashley frowned and sat beside her. "Tell me what you can, I suppose."
Elizabeth took a deep breath. "Andy... Had an abusive father. It was sad, really. His mother didn't do anything and let his father just.. Take all his rage out on him."
"That's... Horrible." Ashley breathed, at a loss for a better word. Elizabeth shook her head.
"It was disgusting. I knew Andy before he came here. Back when I was a pre-med student, I started working at a small clinic where Andy often visited to get wounds treated."
"And you didn't report it?!" Ashley stared in bewilderment.

"No... I tried, though. But my boss kept insisting every eight year old came in with broken bones, whether it be from trying to do a stupid stunt or falling down the stairs." She frowned at her hands. "I wish it ended there... I'm not going to say much about the rest, except that Andy had seen his mother die when he was only eleven years old. So young and it was so heartbreaking to find him wander into the clinic, soaked and covered in mud... I will never forget the day I took him home. And the day I brought him here."

There was a long pause, neither of them making a noise until Ashley spoke up.
"So you're basically like his..."
"Mom? Yeah.. I guess you could say that... I had planned to work here initially, but when Andy showed the signs of both disorders, I knew I had to go with him no matter what."
"Elizabeth?" Ashley asked softly. Elizabeth looked at him with her watering green eyes.
"Yes?"

"Why doesn't Andy talk to anyone..?" He asked carefully.
Elizabeth grimaced. "He's locked himself in his head. When he first came here, he really tried to make friends and get better- oh, I'll never forget his optimistic attitude... But lots of the patients at the time rejected him and said he didn't belong here. I find that horrible, that someone could say something like that to such a fragile boy... He only leaves his room for therapy or if he needs me. And I'm the only he talks to. I guess that's it, really... He's afraid of rejection..."
"Kinda sounds like me in high school." Ashley laughed lightly. "Could I go talk to him?"
Elizabeth stood and nodded, walking to Andys room. "I'll be outside the room." She said quietly.

At the sound of voices outside his room, Andy lifted his head. He stared in horror as the man entered his room, a friendly smile spread on his lips. Andy hugged his small Batman doll and squeezed his eyes shut tightly, looking away.
"Hi, Andy. I'm Ashley, remember me?" He said softly. Andy opened an eye and nodded, silent. "I'm not gonna hurt you. Promise." he held out his pinkie for Andy. "I pinkie promise."

Hesitantly, Andy linked their pinkies together, smiling shakily.

"There we go.." Ashley smiled. "I see you like Batman, huh?"

Andy nodded shyly, and looked around at his room. "Uh-huh." he said hoarsely. His eyes widened and his hand clapped over his mouth. He just spoke to a man... He hadn't said a word to anyone but Elizabeth- not counting the snarky comments to the therapist. Andy saw Elizabeth smiling in the door way and Ashley smiling fondly as well.

"See? You're okay..."