The Beard

6am. The came and got me at six in the morning. Its bad enough that I didn't get any sleep until four, and two hours later here they come knocking on my door with more energy then should be legal. Well only Louis had that much energy. We didn't make to the bus until seven. Finally we were on the road and just like everyone else I was instantly asleep. I don't know how long I slept, but when I woke up again the sun look like it was getting ready to set. I assumed it was around five something. I pulled out my phone and seen that I was right. It was five thirty in the evening. I got up from my bunk and headed to the front of the still moving bus. I noticed everyone was woke. Liam and Niall was sitting in one corner strumming their guitars. Louis and Harry was on his laptop watching something and Zayn was reading. I decided to join Liam and Niall.

"Hey, mind singing Little Things with me? I'll take Harry and Louis part. Liam can do his and Zayn and we can all sing the chorus." The looked at me both shocked. I just shrugged my shoulders. "What? I like your songs." I laughed. "Do you want to or not?"

"Sure." The both replied with a smirk as they began strumming. If I'm honest I was nervous. Its been a while since I've sung in front of people, let along well known celebs. I took a deep breath as the words seem to flow from me.

[Karmen:]
Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me
But bear this in mind, it was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me...

[Liam:]
I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs, the dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But I'll love them endlessly

[Everyone:]
I won't let these little things
Slip out of my mouth
But if I do
It's you
Oh it's you
They add up to
I'm in love with you
And all these little things

[Karmen:]
You can't go to bed without a cup of tea
And maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me

[Karmen:]
I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much you weigh, you still have to squeeze into your jeans
But you're perfect to me

[Everyone:]
I won't let these little things
Slip out of my mouth
But if it's true
It's you
It's you
They add up to
I'm in love with you
And all these little things

[Niall:]
You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you
And you'll never treat yourself right darlin' but I want you to
If I let you know I'm here for you
Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you, oh

[Karmen:]
I've just let these little things
Slip out of my mouth
'Cause it's you
Oh it's you
It's you they add up to
And I'm in love with you
And all these little things

[Everyone:]
I won't let these little things
Slip out of my mouth
But if it's true
It's you
It's you
They add up to
I'm in love with you
And all your little things

I smiled as the chords slowly faded out. The bus was completely silent as I opened my eyes. I had a horrible habit of singing with my eyes close and for some reason Little Things always seem to hit me close to home. Back then everyone thought I was disgusting for the way I looked. Everyone except Lilac. She was my best friend. Or so I thought. I felt my cheeks blush as I noticed it was still quiet. I looked around. Zayn was no longer reading, Louis and Harry had completely disregarded whatever they were watching and Liam and Niall had stopped playing their guitars. It took a minute before I noticed they were all staring at me their mouths slightly hung opened. I felt my cheeks heat up in mild embarrassment. I was scared that they didn't like it. Then I noticed Louis smiling.

"Karmen I had no idea you were that good. L.K.A. should've been famous."

"Unfortunately we all had different things in mind about our futures." I countered sounding more agitated then I wanted. That same feeling of loneliness creeping back up on me.

"Who is L.K.A.?"asked Harry and I sighed. Might as well tell them. They're going to find out I know her soon enough anyways.

"An old singing group I was in. Started back when we were freshmen in high school. We clicked, but our voices told a story together. At least that's what I believed. The A stood for Anna, The K stood for me Karmen and the L stood for Lilac. As in Lilac Duvall. She went solo after I quit and Anna went to her dream school. We all finished school and Lilac got mega famous. They've always wanted to get back together or whatever, but I never agreed." I confessed feeling tears well up in my eyes.

"Why didn't you? Your voice is amazing." Smiled Niall. I smiled back.

"I've never forgiven them for what happened back when. They didn't stick up for me when the label criticized my size. I mean I did eventually lose the weight, but still what are friends if they don't at least stick up for you." I sighed.

"How bad was it?" I asked Liam. I grabbed my purse and pulled out the picture looking at it longingly before passing it to Liam. I stayed quiet as they passed the picture around each looking at it for a minute or so before passing it on.

"I wasn't that much bigger then them, but the label made me feel like I more then twice their size. It hurt. Lilac, blinded by the opportunity, agreed that I could lose some weight. Anna, agrees also, but the moment she found out about school she bailed. I was given an ultimatum. Either lose the weight or bail. Obviously I choose the latter. I haven't sung on a stage since."

"I don't see anything wrong with you. Then or now." Said Zayn his nose scrunched up in what I believed was confusion.

"Thanks Zayn." I smiled as they all came to hug me. I felt weird. I had only known them for about three days,but it still felt like I had been knowing them for years. Day by day I was growing closer to them. We were told it'll be another hour before we reached the venue. We spent the time singing and joking around and it felt like old times with the gang making the hole in my chest grow a little bigger and my stomach line with anxiety of seeing Lilac again. I didn't know if I'd be able to handle it. Finally we pulled up to the venue and I followed One Direction off the bus and into the stadium. I was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, a black half shirt and some black wedges. I let my hair hang in soft waves and let my black leather vest stay open showing off my belly button. I just knew if Simon Cowell saw me he wouldn't approve. I shook my head at that as a small smile placed itself on my face. As soon as it appeared it disappeared at the sound of the one voice I didn't think I'd hear until later.

"Karmen?" I turned around only to come face to face with Anna and Lilac. I admit I was happy to see them, even though I wasnt expecting Anna. We stood there staring at each other. All three of us. Neither saying anything to the other.

"Lilac Duvall we need you for a sound check." Said a stagehang interrupting the awkward silence between us. She looked torn. She didn't want to leave,but duty called.

"You have to sing a song with me......for old time sakes. Please?" Before I could open my mouth they were gone.

"Shit." I mumbled and headed towards where I was told the guys were going to be. This didn't go how I thought it would,but it ended how I expected. She was going to guilt me into being part of L.K.A. again. I couldn't handle all of this. Being a beard was enough and I could barely handle that.