You're My Cure
Chapter 14
A week went by since my mother died and I was feeling okay. I barely smiled after I learned that she was dead. There was nothing to smile about, but I still was okay. I didn't have any urges to do something stupid, something that I could regret. I was missing my mother like crazy. I went to bed every single night crying like a baby, wishing that she was still there with me, wishing that she was still alive. The first few days were the worst. I could barely talk to anyone and I wasn't in the mood to be around anyone else but Vic. When I went to work, my boss had to send me back home due to the horrible service I was giving to our clients. He told me to come back when I would be feeling better. He wasn't mad at me, he understood that I was in pain. He could have fired me, but he didn't and I was very grateful about that. I honnestly felt like I would never smile again, that my life was over. I felt so broken inside, I felt so empty without my mother. It was like losing a part of me, a part of me that I would never get back. I felt like I would never be happy again and that I was going to turn into the big loser that I used to be not so long ago.
But as the days went by, I was slowly accepting that my mother wasn't coming back anytime soon. I was slowly accepting that I would never see her again. I was accepting that this was how life was meant to be, that it had to happen sooner or later. We live and we die, that is the circle of life. No matter how much the thought hurt, I couldn't change how things were. I had to move on and go back to a normal life. I had to do it for my mother. And I was able to keep my sanity because of Vic. It must have been hard for him to be around me in this past week. I was barely talking to him. When I did, I would yell at him or treat him in some horrible ways. He really didn't deserve that, but I wasn't being myself. But he didn't leave me. He stayed by my side every single day. He would sit next to me in silence, he would cuddle me sometimes, etc. He also helped me fight the urges to drink. Because of him, I didn't drink another drop of alcohol. I was mad at him when he tried to stop me and when he would hide the bottles so I couldn't find them. I even hit him once, but I felt terrible afterwards. I just didn't want him to stop me from drinking. But he did for my own good and I was now aware of that. He loved me and only wanted what was best for me. He was the best boyfriend in the entire world and I loved him more than anything else in this big crazy world called Earth.
Today was my mother's funerals and I knew that it was going to be hard and horrible day. It was going to be my last goodbye to my mother before she could rest in peace forever. At least I had Vic with me. We entered the small church and we sat in the first row. I looked around me and everybody was crying. I wasn't crying. It was like I ran out of tears in the past week. The church was full of people I didn't know. My mother was a loved woman who had many friends. There were also some people from our family that I haven't seen in years. Everybody loved my mother because she had the most amazing qualities and because she was always there for the ones she cared about. It made me happy to see that so many people took some of their time to show up. I knew that my mother was smiling from wherever she was. She deserved that, she deserved a great ceremony. I smiled for the first time in a while and I realized that my happiness wasn't gone forever.
The ceremony started a few minutes later when the priest started to talk. To be honnest, I wasn't focusing on what he was saying. I couldn't take my eyes off of the urn in front of me, the urn that contained my mother's cinders since she wanted to be incinerated. I wished she had decided otherwise, but I wasn't going to go against her wishes. It just would have been nice to see her beautiful face one more time. Vic was holding my hand tighlty, sweetly caressing the top of it with his thumb. I wanted to cry, but not a single tear was coming out of my eyes. I felt so many emotions inside of me. I was happy to at least have the chance to give her this last homage. I was sad to know that she was dead. I was angry that she abandoned me. I was lost in my own thoughts until I was brought back to reality when I heard the priest say my name.
''I will now Kellin say a few words about her mother,'' the priest said.
I looked at Vic and he gave me a reassuring look along with a kiss on the cheek. I took a deep breath before standing up and walking towards the platform where there was a microphone. I looked at the people in the room and told myself that I couldn't cry. There were so many things that I wanted to say about my mother. There would be time later to cry, but now wasn't the right time. I looked at Vic once more and he gave me small smile that gave me the confidence to talk in front of this big crowd.
''I couldn't have asked for a better mother. Most of you know her as a sister, an aunt, a friend, a collegue, a girlfriend...but none of you know her as a mother but me. My mother was an extraordinary woman. She always put everyone else's happiness in front of hers. She always did her best to make the ones she loved happy. She always did her best to make sure that I was happy. My mother was always there for me. We've been through a lot together. I made her go through some rough times, but she never gave up on me. I could always count on her even when I was at my worst. She was my stenght, she was my hero. My mother wanted what was best for me. She wanted me to have a beautiful life. She was caring, sweet, positive. I should have told her that I loved her more often. She was my number one, she was my best friend. There are so many things that we shared together. I'll always remember the time where she brought me to DisneyLand. I'll always remember all the times she tried to cheer me up when I was down. I'll always remember when she baked her famous and delicious lasagna. But most of all, I'll always remember my mother as an amazing woman who loved me as much as possible. And as her son, I can tell that I loved and that I will always love even more. I'll never be thankful enough for all the amazing things that she did for me in those last 25 years. Mom, wherever you are, I want you to know that I love you and that you'll always be in my heart. Thank you for being you and thank you for helping me be who I am today. I love you,'' I said.
The room remained silent once I was done talking. I gave a small smile before going back to my seat next to Vic. He took my hand back in his and not another word was said. I was just happy to have him right beside me, when I needed him the most. The ceremony went on as some other people went in front of us and said beautiful words about my mother. I should have cried hearing those people speaking, but it made me smile. Hearing them say memories they had about my mother made me happy. Because memories never die. The memories of my mother will never die. Those memories would always remain in my heart and in my mind.
''Before we end this ceremony, I would ask Kellin to come back here along with his boyfriend Vic,'' the priest said, catching me by surprise.
I had no idea what was happening. Vic and I stood up and I followed him as we walked towards the small platform where the priest was standing. I didn't understand why Vic and I were standing there, but I was about to get my answer as Vic started to speak.
''I know that I could have find a better moment to do this, but I wanted your mother to be part of this special occasion. Our story is special Kellin. We met when we were only 15 years old and it was love at first sight. We were perfect for each other, we completed each other perfectly. We made each other so many promises, promises that were supposed to be kept. But I was dumb enough to let you go and I'll never be sorry enough about that. You were the one for me and I could have lost you forever. But thankfully, life gave us another chance. Life made our paths meet once again. She wanted us to be back together. She wanted us to have our happy ending. She wanted us to have the future that we were meant to have.She wanted us to have the life that we deserved. It was you and me from the start. It was you and me until the end. You're my everything Kellin Quinn. You're perfect to me in every single ways. You're smart, courageous, talented, beautiful, funny, kind, generous, and so many other things. You're the perfect boyfriend and I'm so lucky to have you in my life. You make me a better me, you're the cure to all of my problems. You are all I need to be happy. Just looking into your eyes makes me feel better. I want to be yours forever. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up with you by my side for the rest of my life. I want to be the one to make you feel loved for the rest of your life. I want to be your last first kiss, I want to be your first everything. I want to call you mine forever. You're my one true love, the one true love that can only touch us once in our lifetime. And I will never let you again, I will always be there for you and I will love you until the world ends,'' Vic said, making me cry tears of joys for the first time in forever.
''So, in front of your mother, will you, Kellin Quinn, make me the happiest man in the entire world by saying yes to marry me?'' Vic asked as he kneeled in front of me, revealing a beautiful ring in a little black box.
I nodded, there was nothing else that I wanted more than marrying Vic. At this very specific moment, he proved me that he was the love of my life. He proved me that I could trust him forever and that nobody could love me more than he did. Some would have thought that it was wrong to propose in the middle of funerals. But to me, it was the most beautiful gesture that he could have done. Maybe my mother wasn't going to see me getting married, but she at least had the chance to be part of my engagement, and that meant the world to me. Vic stood up and placed the ring on my finger along with the promise ring he gave me before. I smiled and kissed him tenderly, gaining cheers and claps from the crowd in front of us. And then, I realized that no matter how big a storm can be, there will always be a little bit of sun. And someday, the storm will be gone leaving the entire space to the light, to happiness. And Vic was my sun.
''I love you,'' I whispered.
''And I love you even more, my fiancé,'' Vic replied.
But as the days went by, I was slowly accepting that my mother wasn't coming back anytime soon. I was slowly accepting that I would never see her again. I was accepting that this was how life was meant to be, that it had to happen sooner or later. We live and we die, that is the circle of life. No matter how much the thought hurt, I couldn't change how things were. I had to move on and go back to a normal life. I had to do it for my mother. And I was able to keep my sanity because of Vic. It must have been hard for him to be around me in this past week. I was barely talking to him. When I did, I would yell at him or treat him in some horrible ways. He really didn't deserve that, but I wasn't being myself. But he didn't leave me. He stayed by my side every single day. He would sit next to me in silence, he would cuddle me sometimes, etc. He also helped me fight the urges to drink. Because of him, I didn't drink another drop of alcohol. I was mad at him when he tried to stop me and when he would hide the bottles so I couldn't find them. I even hit him once, but I felt terrible afterwards. I just didn't want him to stop me from drinking. But he did for my own good and I was now aware of that. He loved me and only wanted what was best for me. He was the best boyfriend in the entire world and I loved him more than anything else in this big crazy world called Earth.
Today was my mother's funerals and I knew that it was going to be hard and horrible day. It was going to be my last goodbye to my mother before she could rest in peace forever. At least I had Vic with me. We entered the small church and we sat in the first row. I looked around me and everybody was crying. I wasn't crying. It was like I ran out of tears in the past week. The church was full of people I didn't know. My mother was a loved woman who had many friends. There were also some people from our family that I haven't seen in years. Everybody loved my mother because she had the most amazing qualities and because she was always there for the ones she cared about. It made me happy to see that so many people took some of their time to show up. I knew that my mother was smiling from wherever she was. She deserved that, she deserved a great ceremony. I smiled for the first time in a while and I realized that my happiness wasn't gone forever.
The ceremony started a few minutes later when the priest started to talk. To be honnest, I wasn't focusing on what he was saying. I couldn't take my eyes off of the urn in front of me, the urn that contained my mother's cinders since she wanted to be incinerated. I wished she had decided otherwise, but I wasn't going to go against her wishes. It just would have been nice to see her beautiful face one more time. Vic was holding my hand tighlty, sweetly caressing the top of it with his thumb. I wanted to cry, but not a single tear was coming out of my eyes. I felt so many emotions inside of me. I was happy to at least have the chance to give her this last homage. I was sad to know that she was dead. I was angry that she abandoned me. I was lost in my own thoughts until I was brought back to reality when I heard the priest say my name.
''I will now Kellin say a few words about her mother,'' the priest said.
I looked at Vic and he gave me a reassuring look along with a kiss on the cheek. I took a deep breath before standing up and walking towards the platform where there was a microphone. I looked at the people in the room and told myself that I couldn't cry. There were so many things that I wanted to say about my mother. There would be time later to cry, but now wasn't the right time. I looked at Vic once more and he gave me small smile that gave me the confidence to talk in front of this big crowd.
''I couldn't have asked for a better mother. Most of you know her as a sister, an aunt, a friend, a collegue, a girlfriend...but none of you know her as a mother but me. My mother was an extraordinary woman. She always put everyone else's happiness in front of hers. She always did her best to make the ones she loved happy. She always did her best to make sure that I was happy. My mother was always there for me. We've been through a lot together. I made her go through some rough times, but she never gave up on me. I could always count on her even when I was at my worst. She was my stenght, she was my hero. My mother wanted what was best for me. She wanted me to have a beautiful life. She was caring, sweet, positive. I should have told her that I loved her more often. She was my number one, she was my best friend. There are so many things that we shared together. I'll always remember the time where she brought me to DisneyLand. I'll always remember all the times she tried to cheer me up when I was down. I'll always remember when she baked her famous and delicious lasagna. But most of all, I'll always remember my mother as an amazing woman who loved me as much as possible. And as her son, I can tell that I loved and that I will always love even more. I'll never be thankful enough for all the amazing things that she did for me in those last 25 years. Mom, wherever you are, I want you to know that I love you and that you'll always be in my heart. Thank you for being you and thank you for helping me be who I am today. I love you,'' I said.
The room remained silent once I was done talking. I gave a small smile before going back to my seat next to Vic. He took my hand back in his and not another word was said. I was just happy to have him right beside me, when I needed him the most. The ceremony went on as some other people went in front of us and said beautiful words about my mother. I should have cried hearing those people speaking, but it made me smile. Hearing them say memories they had about my mother made me happy. Because memories never die. The memories of my mother will never die. Those memories would always remain in my heart and in my mind.
''Before we end this ceremony, I would ask Kellin to come back here along with his boyfriend Vic,'' the priest said, catching me by surprise.
I had no idea what was happening. Vic and I stood up and I followed him as we walked towards the small platform where the priest was standing. I didn't understand why Vic and I were standing there, but I was about to get my answer as Vic started to speak.
''I know that I could have find a better moment to do this, but I wanted your mother to be part of this special occasion. Our story is special Kellin. We met when we were only 15 years old and it was love at first sight. We were perfect for each other, we completed each other perfectly. We made each other so many promises, promises that were supposed to be kept. But I was dumb enough to let you go and I'll never be sorry enough about that. You were the one for me and I could have lost you forever. But thankfully, life gave us another chance. Life made our paths meet once again. She wanted us to be back together. She wanted us to have our happy ending. She wanted us to have the future that we were meant to have.She wanted us to have the life that we deserved. It was you and me from the start. It was you and me until the end. You're my everything Kellin Quinn. You're perfect to me in every single ways. You're smart, courageous, talented, beautiful, funny, kind, generous, and so many other things. You're the perfect boyfriend and I'm so lucky to have you in my life. You make me a better me, you're the cure to all of my problems. You are all I need to be happy. Just looking into your eyes makes me feel better. I want to be yours forever. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up with you by my side for the rest of my life. I want to be the one to make you feel loved for the rest of your life. I want to be your last first kiss, I want to be your first everything. I want to call you mine forever. You're my one true love, the one true love that can only touch us once in our lifetime. And I will never let you again, I will always be there for you and I will love you until the world ends,'' Vic said, making me cry tears of joys for the first time in forever.
''So, in front of your mother, will you, Kellin Quinn, make me the happiest man in the entire world by saying yes to marry me?'' Vic asked as he kneeled in front of me, revealing a beautiful ring in a little black box.
I nodded, there was nothing else that I wanted more than marrying Vic. At this very specific moment, he proved me that he was the love of my life. He proved me that I could trust him forever and that nobody could love me more than he did. Some would have thought that it was wrong to propose in the middle of funerals. But to me, it was the most beautiful gesture that he could have done. Maybe my mother wasn't going to see me getting married, but she at least had the chance to be part of my engagement, and that meant the world to me. Vic stood up and placed the ring on my finger along with the promise ring he gave me before. I smiled and kissed him tenderly, gaining cheers and claps from the crowd in front of us. And then, I realized that no matter how big a storm can be, there will always be a little bit of sun. And someday, the storm will be gone leaving the entire space to the light, to happiness. And Vic was my sun.
''I love you,'' I whispered.
''And I love you even more, my fiancé,'' Vic replied.