Be Careful What You Wish For

We’d been traveling for three days now. Most of the time we were in the air but twice Vic would stop in a close by hotel of whatever city we were in. We’d stop for the night, he’d let me eat and rest before we took up to the skies again. Right now, we were stopped in a hotel inside the center of Tokyo. The place was extremely fancy, money doesn’t seem to matter to Vic or the others whatsoever.

I was amazed by how fast Vic could travel. We managed to make it halfway across the world in less than 72 hours. I had yet to see his wings again during this time. I hope Justin didn’t harm them. Vic had made a full recovery on his chest from the slashes.

He was better but he also seemed to be growing weaker with each day. I wasn’t sure why and when I had asked, he denied it. I was starting to get frustrated with his never letting me in on anything attitude. Right now I was giving him the silent treatment after he declined to explain the situation with Marc. I’m sure it’s touchy but at the same time, his ex lover wants to massacre me. Shouldn’t that be enough to have some of my questions answered?

“C’mon, Kells. Talk to me.” he whined, getting close to my body. I remained sitting on the bed with my arms folded over my chest, not speaking to him.

“Fine. I know another way to get you to say something.” his voice dropped low and I raised my eyebrow.

His lips were on my neck slightly. I could feel his hot breath against my cool skin. They lingered there for a moment before begin to kiss and suck on my flesh. I bit my lip against the pleasure. Damn this sexual batard! He continued to suck on my sensitive spot as I twisted my legs and gripped the sheets.

“C’mon, love. Just make some kind of noise so I know you’re not mad at me.” he breathed easily against me, only making me bit down on my bottom lip harder than before.

While his mouth worked on my neck, his hand slid down to the front of my jeans. I twitched involuntarily at his movements. He began to palm me through my clothes and I was so close to breaking at this point. Vic has never been the one to start the sexual ways, which only made this hotter. His hand worked on my hardening member a his lips stroked against my heated flesh.

“Oh god, Vic. Please don’t stop!” I begged in desperation and heard him laugh against my neck, killing the mood. He pulled away and laughed until he fell off the bed and rolled onto the floor.

“Gee thanks.” I muttered and pulled the sheets over my obvious problem. My cheeks became scarlet with embarrassment.

“Do you know how hot you sounded just now?” he questioned, getting back on the bed with that same look of lust in his eyes.

“Whatever. You’re still a jerk.” I told him and refused to look at him. He came over and straddled on either side of me, practically sitting on my hard dick. He moved my face with his hands and forced me to look at him.

“Are you still mad?” he asked in a sweet voice that almost made me forgot why I was mad. Almost.

“Are you still not going to tell me anything?” I countered and he sighed, getting off of me and laying in the empty space next to me.

“That’s what I thought” I snarkily replied and he didn’t say a word.

“C’mon Vic. Just give me something.” I pleaded. I watched him sit up and look at me thoughtfully for a moment before speaking.

“This is your free pass. Ask any four questions and I’ll answer them for you. On one condition.” he said and held up his index finger, signifying the one condition.

“What’s the condition?” I asked with scepticism in my voice, unsure of where this was heading.

“I get to do the same.” he told me.

I pressed my lips together, considering it. I don’t know what Vic would want to ask, he pretty much knows everything about me. I mean, he watched me grow up. I thought it over for a minute until realizing with how private Vic is, this is probably the best I’ll get.

“Fine.” I agreed and didn’t wait for his reply as I spout out my first question, not giving him time to ask one.

“What happened that made you kill Marc? Why were you fucking Justin? And, has there ever been anything between you and Jaime?” I quickly shot out the questions and I saw him grow uncomfortable.

“I killed Marc because I was a terrible person. I was jealous of what they had. I mean, Justin is a fucking evil demon and he got to be happy! Of course, it doesn’t make things right or justify my reasonings. I was just plain evil and didn’t care at that point. I don’t blame him for wanting revenge but if he’s going to hurt someone it should be me. You had nothing to do with what happened in the past. You weren’t even alive for it.” he told me in a voice mixed with regret and passion.

I put my head against the back of the board and thought about the situation. My sweet Vic taking the life of someone else seemed unimaginable. Especially out of an emotion such as jealousy. I just didn’t think his hands were capable of doing such a thing because around me, he is so gentle and cautious. I understood Justin’s reasoning but I would never let him harm a hair on Vic’s head again. Vic may have done a lot of wrong things but he’s mine and I won’t let anything hurt him.

I nodded for him to continue answering.

“I was with Justin before Marc came a long. I was very weak, lonely and depressed after being kicked out of heaven. Justin saw the light in my soul from once being an angel and he feeds of off good energy. It was a silent agreement. I got to have someone around and he got strength. I didn’t know how terrible he truly is and what I was becoming until he brought me along for one of his human hunting games. I ended it immediately after.” he spoke shameful and looked down the entire time. I could tell this was killing him but I needed answers.

“As for Jaime; no, we never had anything. I knew that he had feelings for me but I never had any in return. I was very cold and standoffish. I considered him a friend and didn’t want him to be like the humans who’s hearts I broke. So, I always ignored his feelings. That kiss was the only time we did kiss. I’m just sorry it happened.” he told me and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Hearing that he was with Justin was bad enough but it would have been worse if it had been Jaime. I felt a small pang of sympathy for Jaime. He’s gone centuries of having romantic feelings for Vic just to be ignored time and time again. That feeling was quickly gone as I remembered what the kiss did to my relationship with Vic.

My next question burned in my mouth and as badly I didn’t want to utter the words, my curiosity got the best of me. Even with knowing the truth that Vic had hurt people, I still considered him my angel. The lump in my throat swell up more as I came closer to speaking. I wanted to know the statistics but was terrified of the answer.

“How many people did you kill?” I asked quietly and I saw him cringe while continually to mindlessly play with his hands.

“I don’t know, Kellin. Maybe four hundred. I didn’t do it everyday but I did it quite frequently. I’d see couples holding hands or an engagement party and I’d just lose it. It’s something I’ll always regret and something that’s hard to discuss because I don’t want you to be afraid of me or think bad of me. Even if I may not be as angelic as I play myself off.” he told me in a matching quiet voice.

The silence was thick in the air and I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. I wasn’t afraid of Vic but I wished it wasn’t true. I didn’t want to think about the fact that my love was a murder but he was. How could someone use the same hands to capture my heart that had once tooken a life? Nevermind that, taken four hundred lives. It just didn’t work out in my head.

I looked over to see him stealing glances at me. He was distraught and starting to get nervous as I continued to stay silent. I reached over and took his hand from the mattress. I held it in mine and placed a kiss on the back of it. He looked up and his brown eyes went from dark to light.

I pulled into his body and laid my head on his chest, breathing in his sentence. We laid there for a moment, not speaking. Just enjoying one of the rare times we can be alone and holding each other.

“I know you were hurting back then. I know you hurt people too and I know what you did was wrong. But that still isn’t enough for me to not want you. Maybe Justin is right and something is wrong with me. But when I look at you, I don’t see that kind of person. I see the loving, sweet caring and protective angel that was meant just for me.” I told him and felt his grip tighten around my torso. His lips left a delicate kiss on top of my head and I breathed easily into his skin, knowing that I am safe.

“Thank you, Kellin. That means the world to me.” he said in a warm voice.

We continued to lay there, as if time was not real. As if all of heaven and hell were not looking to decapitate us. Cars rushed outside a long with the people in them. Smoke emitted from factories and cigarettes. And we? We just laid on a king sized bed, enjoying each others company and forgetting the existence of the world and it’s problems.

The moments were filled with comfortable silence and short breathes. Warmth went from his body to mine and I relaxed against his chest. I almost started to drift to sleep until his voice startled me into reality. I felt the vibrations from him and looked up to see him staring down.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” he asked with mock in his tone and I gave him a dumbfounded look that said ‘yes’.

“My questions..” he trailed off and I sat up to look at him more clearly.

“Oh, right. Those.” I replied and he chuckled. I still didn’t understand what kind of questions he wouldn’t know.

“So, shoot me with the first one already.” I told him, just wanting to get this over.

“Why didn’t you just come and talk to me instead of signing the deal with Justin? That actually really hurt me.”he asked and his last line stung at me.

I avoided his stare and searched for the right words. Now i knew what Vic was feeling when I asked mine and it was not a comfortable feeling at all.

“It just broke my heart to see you kiss someone else, especially Jaime. I feel like he’s been out to get me since day one and I felt betrayed. I almost thought that you were working against me by kissing him when I knew how strongly he doesn’t like me. You were calling my name and I just couldn’t be around at that time. I felt like everything was breaking and I didn’t want to deal with reality. So, Justin offered me a way out and I took it, not knowing of the consequences.” I told him truthfully and his look of hurt went away, being replaced with understanding.

“Okay. Next one. Did Justin try and touch you at all when you were with him?” as he asked the second one, his muscles tightened and face scrunched up in rage.

“Yes, kind of. I don’t really know how to say this.” I stuttered over my words, remembering him turning into Vic.

“It’s okay. Whatever happened wasn’t your fault and doesn’t make you any less than you once were.” Vic comforted me and I knew I had to get this out before I couldn’t.

“He turned into you and thought that if he looked like you, I’d sleep with him. He kissed me a bit and tried to take off my pants but I wouldn’t let him. He strangled me later and threw me around a bit but I managed to get away.” I told him and nervously played with my hair. I looked over to see him nod and a flash of sympathy crossed his eyes.

“I’m sorry that happened. You know, I would never do anything to you that you didn’t-” I cut him off, wanting to get off the subject.

“I know, Vic. Please. Just go on with the questions.” I said and looked up at him, he nodded.

“Is your biggest fear really being abandoned by me and everyone else?” he asked with worry.

I had a flashback of the scenario Mike created for me. I had all but forgotten about it. This one was difficult. I’ve had this fear since I was little because my whole life I dealt with depression. I know Vic wants me around and would give up everything for me.

But my own insecurities stop me from believing that we will be together forever. Not only because I’m afraid he’ll find someone better, (partially why it hurt to see him kiss Jaime). But also because I know the severity of our situation and sooner or later, we’re bound to get caught. I’ll give myself up for him to stay alive but then we won’t be together again. But I’d much rather be alone than left alone, if that makes sense.

“Yes, it is. Not that I think you would leave me but I’ve felt very dropped my entire life and I almost expect it now a days.” I told him shyly, hiding behind my hair.

He pushed the hair out of my eyes and grabbed my chin with his warm fingers. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over that warm feeling he sends into me with his touched. He lightly pushed our lips together in a brief kiss and pulled back with reassuring eyes.

“I would never leave you. As long as I am alive I will fight to make sure that you are by my side. I waited for centuries for you and there is no way I would ever abandon you.” Vic said with a sweet voice and I smiled, looking away while blushing.

“You’re so emberassing.” i screeched, cupping my hands in my face to hide the smile and blush on them. I kept my fingers over my chin, nose and mouth but not my eyes, still wanting to look at him.

“You love it though.” he smiled at first but his face dropped in a sad look. I removed my hands and stared at him puzzled.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, noticing his sudden drop in mood.

“My last question..” he said quietly, avoiding my gaze.

“What is it?” I asked, mimicking his same quiet tone. I became afraid of what he might ask after his mood shift.

“Earlier, when I said I loved you. Why didn’t you return it?” he asked and my mood dropped with him. My mouth formed an O shape and I stared back into his stressed eyes.

“I didn’t think about it. I was just elated to hear you say it, really.” I told him in honest.

He gave me a small smile that I knew wasn’t genuine. Does he not believe me? I looked him in the eye and shifted as close to him a possible. Putting my legs on either side of him and bending my body down til our faces were inches apart. I spoke in a serious tone and he stared at me with an unreadable expression.

“Vic, you’re my soulmate. My protector. My own little angle. You have quickly become my everything. I left home and friends and family for this to happen. Do you even really need to question it?” I turned it on him and he shrugged, seeming more relaxed now.

“No, I guess I just wanted to hear you say it.” he told me sadly and looked away.

I moved his head to the center of the pillow and his eyes glanced up at me. I gently kissed his lips, softly and intimately. He gave me the same slow and sensual technique back. There was nothing sexual about this kiss. This was emotional and deep and I could feel something powerful between us. Almost like light was coming from both of our bodies and into our mouths I pulled back to speak the words he was dying to hear.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” I repeated over and over again between kisses.

He held me close to him with his strong arms and breathed into my ear with relief. He gently ran his fingers from my upper back down my spine, repeating the calming motion a few times. I laid still next to his body and thanked whoever was out there that he was mine and I was his.

“I love you too.” he whispered in my ear and we laid there, together. As it should be.