Home, Sweet Home

“Lily!” I exclaimed as I ran toward my best friend. She wrapped me in a tight hug. I could smell her vanilla deodorant. It was the same that she used all though high school. Now every time I smell vanilla I think of her.

I stepped away so I could get a good look at her. She was still a 5’9, tanned goddess. Her dirty-blond hair was tied back in a messy ponytail. She had on very little makeup and just a plain fitted t-shirt and shorts. Even like this she was absolutely gorgeous.

“Sammie, I missed you so much. I see London is treating you well.” said Lily pulling me into another hug. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

I’m glad to be here. I have so much to tell you that I didn’t want to say on the phone, but first, you have to tell me what’s going on with Ian.” I said as she pulled out of the hug. She grabbed my suitcase and led me out to her car. We still had an almost two hour ride ahead of us. Once in the car she started to tell me all about what happened.

“So I was helping Ian plan the proposal and she just showed up and told him that she didn’t love him and that she found someone better.” said Lily after telling me about the story of picking out the ring.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, she said that? What a bitch.” I said shaking my head.

“I know. Your brother just sat there completely shell shocked. It was like he couldn’t speak. She didn’t even wait for a response, she just turned and left. It took him an hour to finally thaw out. The first thing he said was “tell me I just had a terrible nightmare”. I didn’t know what to say to him. I just hugged him.” She explained.

“And how is he now?” I said choosing to not tease Lily about hugging him.

“Well I finally got him to shave. Although he looks pretty good with facial hair. Now I’m trying to teach him how to do laundry. Alexa was doing it for him. He seems better but don’t mention her around him because he gets this sad look in his eyes that makes my heart break.” It was almost like Lily was going to cry just thinking about it.

“You’re a better sister to him than I ever imagined to be.” I said forgetting to use my filter and just speaking my mind. I really did think she was a better sister to him than I could ever be, but I truly think that it’s just because she loved him, she just doesn’t know it yet.

“That’s not true. I know that if you were still here, you would be doing the same thing that I’m doing now, and probably doing a better than I’m doing.” said Lily in her serious voice.

She always was the rational one.

“Yeah but you love him more than I do and truthfully, I wouldn’t rather have anyone but you to help him through this.” I said attempting to complement her but she took it the wrong way.

“I don’t love your brother.” She said getting defensive.

“That’s seriously the only thing you got out of that statement.” I said a little ticked.

I had basically just given her my blessing to be with my brother and she didn’t even notice anything past the word love.

“I don’t love him though. Yeah he’s attractive, and kind, and chivalrous, and good-hearted… I don’t love your brother.” She said pointing her finger at me.

The urge to bite it came over me but restrained myself know she could easily kick my ass if need be. I could tell that Lily didn’t really believe her exclamation of not loving my brother.

“Okay, okay, you don’t love my brother… yet.” I added before I could stop myself.

“I will seriously pull this car over and kick your ass if you say one more thing about me loving your brother.” said Lily with a death grip on the steering wheel.

“You better pull over then, because I would rather you love him than anything else.” I said with a sweet and innocent smile.

“I do not love your brother.” said Lily through clenched teeth.

I had already managed to piss her off and I had only been in the country for an hour. This trip had already been a success. These next two weeks are going to be fun. She didn’t pull over so I guessed I was safe… for now. We were plunged into silence for a couple minutes.

“So, have you told Dan you love him yet?” Lily asked.

She held on to a straight face but I could see the evil in her eyes. My face grew red.

“Dan who?” I said with a blank face.

“Don’t play dumb with me. You know that doesn’t work. So Dan?” The thought of strangling her crossed my mind, but only for a second.

“I will never tell Dan about my feelings.” I said giving her the same answer I’ve given every time she asks.

“No, don’t give me that bullshit answer. When are you going to tell him?” Lily wasn’t going to just let it go. I guess this is my payback.

“I’m not going to chance losing him. I’d rather have him in my life and suffer the heartbreak than tell him and have him hate me. Either way I suffer.” I said looking out my window.

“Okay, I don’t even know Dan and I know that he would never ditch you if you told him you had feelings for him. I’ve seen a lot of his videos and he just doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to do that.” She said glancing over at me.

“Why does it have to be one extreme or the other? What happens if he likes you but you never say anything?” said Lily.

“He doesn’t like me like that.” I said.

“How do you know if you don’t tell him how you feel?” Lily asked.

“Now you sound like Phil.” I said crossing my arms. “I don’t want to have these feelings for Dan. He’s my best friend back home.”

Lily looked sad that I called London home. She was still hoping I was coming back. It broke my heart to know my best friend would never live in the same country as me.

“Okay I’ll drop it, for now, but you’re going to talk to me about it later. Or I’m going to tell your brother you live with two boys.” said Lily with a smirk.

“No, you promised you wouldn’t tell him. He would fly to London and drag me out by my hair if he knew I lived with Dan and Phil.” I said noticing just how whiny my voice could be. Another reason to never be on camera. No, don’t think like that.

“And I won’t tell him as long as you promise me you’ll talk to me about Dan.” said Lily evil grin plastered on her face.

“Okay, I promise I’ll tell you all about my feeling for Dan, when you finally admit that you don’t just have a crush on my brother.” I said with an evil grin to match hers. Her smile faltered.

She just let out a sigh then changed the subject to her family drama. She and I got quite a kick out of her quirky parents. Drama for them is fighting over who gets to slide down the banister first or who get to pick the first song to dance around the house too.

Our parents were so different. Mine were strict and old fashion while hers acted like teenager half the time. Which is probably why Lily acts kind of like a parent. My parents don’t really like Lily’s parents but they love Lily. I sometimes get calls from Lily’s mom. She seems to think that all I do in London is wear trendy clothes and hang out in coffee shops all the time. Well she’s half right.

I eventually started to nod off when Lily stopped talking and turned on the radio. I had to really fight to stay awake but eventually my exhaustion took over. Well guess who’s not going to be sleeping tonight. Lily woke me up every fifteen minutes but I just couldn’t stay awake.

“Okay seriously, wake up. Were like ten minutes away. I cannot carry you up those stairs.” said Lily waking me up one final time.

I just flipped Lily off.

I was finally able to stay awake. I watched as all of the familiar buildings and houses passed by. I remember dreaming with Lily about someday moving into the big yellow house on the hill that had the tower.

When I was younger, I always thought I would get married right out of high school and start having babies. Even though I dreamed of far off places, I never imagined I would ever actually get out. I jumped at the chance to study abroad. I thought it was my last chance before I settled down with my boyfriend at the time.

Little did I know then, the decision to leave would eventually cause him to break up with me. Lily cried because she wouldn’t see me for a whole year. Little did she know I would stay for three more years and I would eventually have no plans on coming back to stay. My parents thought it would be a good opportunity and would open doors for me. They were pissed when I told them I was dropping out of college and had planned to continue to live in London.

On the upside, if I hadn’t been texting Lily talking to her about not coming back, I would have never knocked Dan over. Sometimes I wonder if I should have done what my parents had want me to do and come home. I never would have met Dan and Phil. I never would have fallen in love.

“Okay we’re here.” said Lily pulling me from my daydreaming. I looked up to an apartment building I remember riding past many times.

“You finally moved out from above the jewelry store? Please tell me this place is better.” I said remembering the one room apartment that you could barely fit a twin bed in.

You barely had room enough to walk around the bed, and don’t even get me started on the closet of a bathroom.

“It’s amazing. I have room for a couch. It’s not very comfortable, but at least I have one.” said Lily getting my suitcase out of the trunk and leading me up to the apartment.

She lived on the third floor and the building didn’t have an elevator. I thought I was going to get a break from stairs when I left London. Damn it, I miss Dan and Phil already.

“Lily, please tell me you’ve upgraded your bed.” I said giving her a look. The last time I stayed with her, the two of us shared her twin bed. Lily is a major bed hog. Let’s just say I ended up on the floor… more than once.

“Yeah. I have a full now.” said Lily proudly.

I had a feeling that I was still going to end up on the floor.

“And the bathroom?” I asked.

“It’s not enormous but you can’t wash your hair in the shower while sitting on the toilet like the old apartment.” said Lily repeating what I had said the last time I stayed with her.

I could feel a smile spread across my face while Lily unlocked her apartment.

It really wasn’t that big but it was perfect for one person and it was definitely and upgrade from the last one. The living room and kitchen were all one room with a little bar acting as a divider between the two. It had hardwood floors that looked like they were perfect to slide around on in socks.

I foresee butt bruises in my future.

The bedroom was off to the left. Lily really did get a bigger bed. It looked so comfy but I knew I couldn’t lay on it yet.

Her bathroom was bigger and you definitely couldn’t wash your hair while on the toilet. I already liked this apartment better than her last one.

We ditched my suitcase in her room. We planned to meet up with my brother but first we were going to surprise my mom at the diner. I went to the bathroom and looked myself over. I looked a little rumpled from all of the traveling but other than that. I looked okay I quickly changed out of my leggings and into some shorts. It was warm here.

“Ready to go Sammie?” I heard Lily yell from the kitchen.

I ran her brush through my hair a couple of times and then put all of my hair up into a messy bun.

“Sorry, I needed to do something with this mess.” I said reentering the main room and pointing to my head.

“It wasn’t that bad.” said Lily grabbing two bottles of water and throwing one at me.

I barely caught it causing Lily to laugh at how uncoordinated I still was. We made our way out of the apartment and back into her car.

“So are you excited to see your mom?” Lily asked.

She knew that my relationship with my mom has been a little strained ever since I dropped out of college. She never got the chance to go and she had her heart set on me getting a degree. She tends to bring up me going back to school in almost every conversation we have.

Last time I was here I yelled at her, but she had applied to a college for me and I just felt like she was over stepping her boundaries a bit. After I yelled I instantly felt bad, but I’m not the type to admit when I’m wrong and I sometimes have a hard time apologizing.

“Yeah. I am actually. I miss her and my dad.” I said feeling the nervousness bubble in my chest.

“You know she talks about you all of the time. My Aunt Mary has coffee at the diner every other day and she told me that she barely shuts up about how you’re in London.” said Lily.

My mom was always one to make things seem better than they really were to the outside world.

The drive to the diner was a short one. We sat in the parking lot for a few minutes. I needed to take a calming breath. Okay, I actually had to start breathing first. I concentrated on my breathing and keeping my hands from shaking when I went to open the door.

“Are you sure we can’t just go see Ian and forget about seeing my mom?” I asked just before I pulled the handle to open the door.

Lily just gave me a “really” look.

I opened the door and climbed out before I could talk myself out of it. I looked around. The diner was the same. The trees were the same. The pavement still had the faded yellow lines marking off the parking spaces. The actual pavement itself looked like it had gone through a tough winter. There were more cracks than I remember, but with every winter it gets worse and worse.

Lily grabbed ahold of my elbow tugging me toward the door. Just breathe. Just breathe. Just breathe. I chanted in my head as the door came closer and closer into view. My hands grew steadily shakier the closer we got to the door, and then we were there. I watched Lily’s hand reach out, as if in slow motion, and open the door. We stepped in.

The first thing that hits you when you walk in is the smell of the food cooking. The next is the wave of sound. The diner was almost always busy but had a laid back atmosphere. This was the type of town that everybody knows everybody on a first name basis. Close nit and friendly.

Not many people seemed to take notice of the door opening and closing.

Lily and I slowly walked up to the counter. My mother had her back turned to me. It looked like she was stocking from after the lunch rush.

“Hey Mrs. Daven.” Lily said before I even had a chance to sit on the stool in front of me. My mom turned to look at Lily but her eyes landed on me first.

“Hi mom.” I said.

It was like as soon as I spoke the whole diner went quiet. They were all looking at me. I hate the spotlight.

My mom was around and out from behind the counter in seconds. Then she was pulling me into a hug. Even though she and I weren’t on the best of terms, I still missed my mommy.

“Samantha, I’m so glad to see you.” My mom said while still hugging me.

“I’m glad to be back.” I said.

She stepped back from the hug to look me over. Everyone had gone back to their food seeing as there wasn’t going to be any drama from us.

“Your hair is so much longer. You need a haircut.” The second thing she said to me, figures.

“I know. I planned on getting one while I was here.” I said.

That seemed to appease my mom but now I had to go get a haircut.

We talked for about twenty minutes. Not once did she mention college or me moving back. She also acted as if she approved of the fact that I was living in London when I knew she hated it. She was putting on a show for the townspeople.

“Well Mrs. Daven, we have plans to meet with Ian in a few so we have to get going. Sam-antha just wanted to stop by and say hi.” said Lily. “You ready?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you later mom.” I said thankful that Lily had saved me.

When we got out of the diner Lily and I burst out in laughter. We were laughing so hard that someone almost hit us when we were walking across the parking lot causing us to laugh even harder.

“Lily, you almost got both of us killed.” I said not referring to the car.

“Oh my god, I know. I’m so used to calling you Sammie that I almost slipped up.” said Lily resting her head on the steering wheel.

My mom is really strict when it comes to calling me by my name. She insists that people call me by my full name. Everyone calls me Sam behind her back thought. Lily and Ian are the only ones allowed to call me Sammie.

“Oh, my abs hurt. Now we can have ice cream sundaes for supper.” said Lily looking over at me with her head still on the steering wheel.

“Okay you goof, let’s go before Ian thinks we’ve been kidnapped.” I said not being able to hold in my giggles at the way the steering wheel was making half her face look like a hamster with a mouthful of food.

“You’re right, he will think we’ve been kidnapped.” Lily said putting the key in the ignition.

Now on to see the person I really wanted to see. Ian.