Status: in progress
Let's Just Fall in Love Again
Deux
I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I couldn’t even begin to explain how relieved I was that we left the conversation friends; or at least not hating each other. I was anxious to see Sean now. Talking about him made me miss him. I realized that the deal I’d sort of made with John could affect him, and I felt a little guilty about it, but I tried not to think too much about it.
I pulled into my driveway and saw that the guys were still there. Great. Now I’d have to relive the last half hour of my life in painstaking detail. I walked back up the stairs and into my room. My best friends and Mel were sitting in there waiting for me.
“So you got lucky. Your sister called John about ten minutes before you left and asked if we’d play at your party. So instead of sitting here probing you, we’ve got practice. But don’t you think I won’t be back here tomorrow morning. We need to talk about all of this young lady.”
I rolled my eyes; I swore Kennedy sometimes treated me like a little sister. I walked him and Garrett out to his car.
“Well I’ve got to pick Sean up from the airport at like eleven. So unless you plan on coming to the airport with me, I don’t think that’ll happen.”
I was praying that he’d change his mind, let me off the hook with this one, or at least bother John for information instead. But I noticed the sly look in his eyes and knew that he had every intention of coming with me.
“Well then I’ll see you in the morning then!”
“Oh me too.”
“Seriously?” I rolled my eyes at them.
“Yup, I wanna meet the guy that swept you off your feet.” Kennedy said with a smirk while Garrett nodded in agreement.
It was quite a relief for to be joking around with them again, it felt normal. “Oh shut up! He didn’t really sweep me off my feet; he was just there for me. I mean don’t get me wrong; he’s awesome. But, whatever, looks like you’ll be the judge of that tomorrow.”
Kennedy got in on the passenger side of Garrett’s little yellow car and rolled down the window to say something else, but I cut him off. “You guys better go! We can catch up later, don’t want to keep Mr. O’Callaghan waiting.”
When they were finally gone I went upstairs to talk to Melanie. We talked everyday while I was gone, so she already knew mostly everything about my feelings about the break up, and about my semi-new relationship with Sean.
“Hey bugaboo. I need to talk to you.”
She made a face at hearing her old nickname.
“I thought we agreed you’d never call me that. Like ever again.”
I laughed, “Actually, I never agreed to such a thing. You asked, I never said one way or another.”
“Whatever,” Melanie rolled her eyes at me. “I just wanna know how it went with John. Back together yet?”
I rolled my eyes at my younger sister. She liked to completely dismiss the fact that I was with Sean. I hoped she’d be nice to him when he got here, since he’d be staying in our guest room.
“No. But it’s a possibility in the far off future. You know, and now John knows about Sean. It’s not that easy Melanie.”
She sighed and rolled her eyes, which wasn’t much like her, but I ignored it. As the tension left the room, we settled into our easy pattern of endless chatter. I told her about life in the city, she told me about her recent break up with her boyfriend, we talked about mom, dad, and everything in-between. Finally around ten, after hours of conversation, eighties movies, and some Thai takeout, we decided to call it a night.
I pulled into my driveway and saw that the guys were still there. Great. Now I’d have to relive the last half hour of my life in painstaking detail. I walked back up the stairs and into my room. My best friends and Mel were sitting in there waiting for me.
“So you got lucky. Your sister called John about ten minutes before you left and asked if we’d play at your party. So instead of sitting here probing you, we’ve got practice. But don’t you think I won’t be back here tomorrow morning. We need to talk about all of this young lady.”
I rolled my eyes; I swore Kennedy sometimes treated me like a little sister. I walked him and Garrett out to his car.
“Well I’ve got to pick Sean up from the airport at like eleven. So unless you plan on coming to the airport with me, I don’t think that’ll happen.”
I was praying that he’d change his mind, let me off the hook with this one, or at least bother John for information instead. But I noticed the sly look in his eyes and knew that he had every intention of coming with me.
“Well then I’ll see you in the morning then!”
“Oh me too.”
“Seriously?” I rolled my eyes at them.
“Yup, I wanna meet the guy that swept you off your feet.” Kennedy said with a smirk while Garrett nodded in agreement.
It was quite a relief for to be joking around with them again, it felt normal. “Oh shut up! He didn’t really sweep me off my feet; he was just there for me. I mean don’t get me wrong; he’s awesome. But, whatever, looks like you’ll be the judge of that tomorrow.”
Kennedy got in on the passenger side of Garrett’s little yellow car and rolled down the window to say something else, but I cut him off. “You guys better go! We can catch up later, don’t want to keep Mr. O’Callaghan waiting.”
When they were finally gone I went upstairs to talk to Melanie. We talked everyday while I was gone, so she already knew mostly everything about my feelings about the break up, and about my semi-new relationship with Sean.
“Hey bugaboo. I need to talk to you.”
She made a face at hearing her old nickname.
“I thought we agreed you’d never call me that. Like ever again.”
I laughed, “Actually, I never agreed to such a thing. You asked, I never said one way or another.”
“Whatever,” Melanie rolled her eyes at me. “I just wanna know how it went with John. Back together yet?”
I rolled my eyes at my younger sister. She liked to completely dismiss the fact that I was with Sean. I hoped she’d be nice to him when he got here, since he’d be staying in our guest room.
“No. But it’s a possibility in the far off future. You know, and now John knows about Sean. It’s not that easy Melanie.”
She sighed and rolled her eyes, which wasn’t much like her, but I ignored it. As the tension left the room, we settled into our easy pattern of endless chatter. I told her about life in the city, she told me about her recent break up with her boyfriend, we talked about mom, dad, and everything in-between. Finally around ten, after hours of conversation, eighties movies, and some Thai takeout, we decided to call it a night.
***[center/]
When I woke up the next morning there were butterflies in my stomach. There was a lot in store for me today. I was going to get to see Sean again, I was having my coming home party, and John was going to meet Sean. I was mostly excited, but the last part honestly terrified me. I prayed that John would be civil; I knew how he could get when he was jealous.
I shrugged off the thought and decided to get in the shower, it was already nine, and being the more punctual of my friends, I knew Kennedy would be here by ten. When I was done with my shower, I put on a little make-up and Seans’ favorite dress. I put on my favorite pair of sandals and padded down the stairs.
I walked into my kitchen to grab a muffin and there sat Kennedy, Garrett, and Pat at the breakfast nook waiting for me.
“Oh god, Pat too?”
I tried to sound disgusted, but I was so happy to see the long-haired boy. After a quick hug I walked over to the counter to fetch my purse and keys.
“You boys ready?”
Just as the words left my mouth there was a knock at the front door. I ran to open it and was shocked to see Sean. He looked absolutely wonderful, maybe even better than I’d left him. His red hair was styled in its usual messy do, he was wearing a grey v-neck, skinny jeans and the pair of boots I got him for his birthday.
“Oh my god! When did you get here?!”
He embraced me in a hug before answering, “An hour or so ago. I wrote your address down back in Portland, so I could surprise you.”
I was beyond surprised. I leaned in to give my boyfriend a hello kiss, when I heard someone clear their throat from behind me.
“Oh! I was trying to forget you guys were here. Sean, I’d like you to meet some of my best friends; Kennedy, Pat, and Garrett.”
I glanced at the guys, and they all looked less than impressed. Still being polite, Kennedy simply shook his hand. This felt extremely awkward.
“Uh, how about we all go somewhere for lunch, maybe Mel would want to come?”
I looked nervously at the guys and then Sean and then back to the guys. They all looked pretty uncomfortable. Kennedy sighed before finally speaking up.
“No. I think we’re all meeting at Johns for practice. You know we’re playing at the party remember?”
A sudden feeling of dread lodged itself in the pit of my stomach. After our shaky reunion yesterday I knew the party was going to be difficult.
“Oh yeah, well then I guess I’ll see you guys later tonight.”
With that, Pat, Garrett, and Kennedy strolled out the front door leaving Sean and I alone. After I waved goodbye to the guys, I turned around and was met with a frowning Sean.
“So all of your friends are guys?”
I scoffed, taken aback by the almost disgust that seeped from his mouth. I’d never seen him act this way.
“Well I’ve known Kennedy since I was in grade school, and he was like my best friend, and when he joined the band I just got close with the other guys, and you know how things went with John,” I trailed off not wanting to think too much about him.
“It just doesn’t seem normal. I guess I figured you had some girl friends.”
“Well, I do. I just…”
I was at a loss for words. I never had to explain myself to him back in Portland. He was always respectful of my need to keep some things to myself, but now it was like I was obligated to explain myself to him.
“Look, can we not argue right now? You just got here and I want you to meet my sister. If it makes you feel any better, my sisters throwing me a coming home party tonight, and you’ll meet Reagan and Tatum, some of my girl friends.”
He nodded in agreement, and I led him up the stairs to drop his things in the guest room and to introduce him to Melanie.
“Mel, I’d like you to meet Sean.”
He gave her a half hug, which she stiffened upon receiving. We sat on her bed for a while having awkward conversation, and to say there was tension in the room was an understatement.
Sean must have felt it too, he awkwardly yawned and announced he was going to take a nap. As soon as the door shut I glanced over at my sister.
“What the fuck, Mel?”
I found myself getting a little defensive over the boy who I’d just been annoyed with minutes earlier.
“I don’t know what it is about him Char, but I have get a bad vibe from him.”
I rolled my eyes before responding, “Jesus Mel you say that about everyone. Remember when you met Garrett? You basically said the same thing about him, and now you two talk more than I talk to him.”
She shrugged before explaining herself further.
“I said that because I thought he was semi-retarded. But I don’t know, I feel like Sean might be a shady character.”
“Oh, whatever.”
I sighed and walked across the hall to my bedroom. I grabbed my pack of cigarettes off of my nightstand and climbed through my window to sit on the roof. After sitting in the searing Arizona sun and thinking about how much had happened in the twenty-four hours, I decided it was time for a nap. I walked over to my bed and stripped to my bra and underwear and climbed in. Mentally exhausted, I fell asleep with thoughts of Sean and Melanie and John.
***
I groggily rolled over and looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand to see that I was already 4:45, which meant I only had a little over two hours until the party. I hopped out of bed, heading to the bathroom attached to my room. I nearly had a heart attack when I spotted Sean sitting on the chair in the corner of my room.
“Holy shit Sean, how long have you been in here?”
“Like 15 minutes, I mean I don’t know anyone around here, my laptop was getting boring and you looked just so peaceful, I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Good God, you scared me.”
He frowned before walking over to sit on the foot of my bed.
“Well why don’t you come over here and let me calm you down.” He inquired suggestively.
I internally groaned at his statement. He never talked like this. I didn’t know if it was the fact that he was far from home or if the Arizona sun was getting to his head but he was suddenly giving me the creeps.
“What is wrong with you?”
I blurted it out and immediately regretted it. His face turned red, the contorted into a glare.
“Well excuse me for wanting some alone time with my girlfriend before I have to go and socialize with all of her exes and whatnot.”
“Exes? As in multiple? John is the only ex that is going to be there, the rest of the guys are my friends. Seriously Sean, what is going on with you?”
His shoulders slumped as he grabbed my hands and pulled me down to sit next to him on the bed.
“I just don’t really know how to feel. I’m in a strange place, with strange people and I only know a little bit of your history with John and I just don’t want things to get messed up. I’m just nervous that being back here is gonna mess up the progress you’ve made, gonna mess up what we’ve got.”
While I knew he was mostly referring to how bad my drinking had gotten after I’d moved, I didn’t know how to feel about what he’d just revealed to me. Did he not trust me? Did he not like the fact that I was back home, with my friends and family and John? Did he really think the familiarity would lead me back to that place? I glanced at the clock and noticed it was nearing 5:30 and decided that this was ultimately going to have to wait.
“Sean, you really don’t have to worry about me. I’m doing fine, and now that I’m home, with Melly and my friends; I’ll be even better. I know you’re concerned about me drinking again and I know you worry about John, but he’s always going to be around.. that’s just how it is around here. But you need to realize that you not only helped me out of that dark spot in my life, but I chose you. And I invited you here, and I’m hoping that tonight you’ll mingle with my friends and you’ll realize that they’re good people. We gotta leave here in about an hour, so I’ve got to go get ready. But hey, if you’re still worried tonight after the party we can talk it out. And we can spend the day together tomorrow, just the two of us.”
He nodded and smiled a half-hearted smile and made his way back to the guest room. I rummaged through my closet for a while and finally decided on an outfit and made my way to the bathroom.
I was really hoping that tonight would be good. For everyone.
When I woke up the next morning there were butterflies in my stomach. There was a lot in store for me today. I was going to get to see Sean again, I was having my coming home party, and John was going to meet Sean. I was mostly excited, but the last part honestly terrified me. I prayed that John would be civil; I knew how he could get when he was jealous.
I shrugged off the thought and decided to get in the shower, it was already nine, and being the more punctual of my friends, I knew Kennedy would be here by ten. When I was done with my shower, I put on a little make-up and Seans’ favorite dress. I put on my favorite pair of sandals and padded down the stairs.
I walked into my kitchen to grab a muffin and there sat Kennedy, Garrett, and Pat at the breakfast nook waiting for me.
“Oh god, Pat too?”
I tried to sound disgusted, but I was so happy to see the long-haired boy. After a quick hug I walked over to the counter to fetch my purse and keys.
“You boys ready?”
Just as the words left my mouth there was a knock at the front door. I ran to open it and was shocked to see Sean. He looked absolutely wonderful, maybe even better than I’d left him. His red hair was styled in its usual messy do, he was wearing a grey v-neck, skinny jeans and the pair of boots I got him for his birthday.
“Oh my god! When did you get here?!”
He embraced me in a hug before answering, “An hour or so ago. I wrote your address down back in Portland, so I could surprise you.”
I was beyond surprised. I leaned in to give my boyfriend a hello kiss, when I heard someone clear their throat from behind me.
“Oh! I was trying to forget you guys were here. Sean, I’d like you to meet some of my best friends; Kennedy, Pat, and Garrett.”
I glanced at the guys, and they all looked less than impressed. Still being polite, Kennedy simply shook his hand. This felt extremely awkward.
“Uh, how about we all go somewhere for lunch, maybe Mel would want to come?”
I looked nervously at the guys and then Sean and then back to the guys. They all looked pretty uncomfortable. Kennedy sighed before finally speaking up.
“No. I think we’re all meeting at Johns for practice. You know we’re playing at the party remember?”
A sudden feeling of dread lodged itself in the pit of my stomach. After our shaky reunion yesterday I knew the party was going to be difficult.
“Oh yeah, well then I guess I’ll see you guys later tonight.”
With that, Pat, Garrett, and Kennedy strolled out the front door leaving Sean and I alone. After I waved goodbye to the guys, I turned around and was met with a frowning Sean.
“So all of your friends are guys?”
I scoffed, taken aback by the almost disgust that seeped from his mouth. I’d never seen him act this way.
“Well I’ve known Kennedy since I was in grade school, and he was like my best friend, and when he joined the band I just got close with the other guys, and you know how things went with John,” I trailed off not wanting to think too much about him.
“It just doesn’t seem normal. I guess I figured you had some girl friends.”
“Well, I do. I just…”
I was at a loss for words. I never had to explain myself to him back in Portland. He was always respectful of my need to keep some things to myself, but now it was like I was obligated to explain myself to him.
“Look, can we not argue right now? You just got here and I want you to meet my sister. If it makes you feel any better, my sisters throwing me a coming home party tonight, and you’ll meet Reagan and Tatum, some of my girl friends.”
He nodded in agreement, and I led him up the stairs to drop his things in the guest room and to introduce him to Melanie.
“Mel, I’d like you to meet Sean.”
He gave her a half hug, which she stiffened upon receiving. We sat on her bed for a while having awkward conversation, and to say there was tension in the room was an understatement.
Sean must have felt it too, he awkwardly yawned and announced he was going to take a nap. As soon as the door shut I glanced over at my sister.
“What the fuck, Mel?”
I found myself getting a little defensive over the boy who I’d just been annoyed with minutes earlier.
“I don’t know what it is about him Char, but I have get a bad vibe from him.”
I rolled my eyes before responding, “Jesus Mel you say that about everyone. Remember when you met Garrett? You basically said the same thing about him, and now you two talk more than I talk to him.”
She shrugged before explaining herself further.
“I said that because I thought he was semi-retarded. But I don’t know, I feel like Sean might be a shady character.”
“Oh, whatever.”
I sighed and walked across the hall to my bedroom. I grabbed my pack of cigarettes off of my nightstand and climbed through my window to sit on the roof. After sitting in the searing Arizona sun and thinking about how much had happened in the twenty-four hours, I decided it was time for a nap. I walked over to my bed and stripped to my bra and underwear and climbed in. Mentally exhausted, I fell asleep with thoughts of Sean and Melanie and John.
***
I groggily rolled over and looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand to see that I was already 4:45, which meant I only had a little over two hours until the party. I hopped out of bed, heading to the bathroom attached to my room. I nearly had a heart attack when I spotted Sean sitting on the chair in the corner of my room.
“Holy shit Sean, how long have you been in here?”
“Like 15 minutes, I mean I don’t know anyone around here, my laptop was getting boring and you looked just so peaceful, I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Good God, you scared me.”
He frowned before walking over to sit on the foot of my bed.
“Well why don’t you come over here and let me calm you down.” He inquired suggestively.
I internally groaned at his statement. He never talked like this. I didn’t know if it was the fact that he was far from home or if the Arizona sun was getting to his head but he was suddenly giving me the creeps.
“What is wrong with you?”
I blurted it out and immediately regretted it. His face turned red, the contorted into a glare.
“Well excuse me for wanting some alone time with my girlfriend before I have to go and socialize with all of her exes and whatnot.”
“Exes? As in multiple? John is the only ex that is going to be there, the rest of the guys are my friends. Seriously Sean, what is going on with you?”
His shoulders slumped as he grabbed my hands and pulled me down to sit next to him on the bed.
“I just don’t really know how to feel. I’m in a strange place, with strange people and I only know a little bit of your history with John and I just don’t want things to get messed up. I’m just nervous that being back here is gonna mess up the progress you’ve made, gonna mess up what we’ve got.”
While I knew he was mostly referring to how bad my drinking had gotten after I’d moved, I didn’t know how to feel about what he’d just revealed to me. Did he not trust me? Did he not like the fact that I was back home, with my friends and family and John? Did he really think the familiarity would lead me back to that place? I glanced at the clock and noticed it was nearing 5:30 and decided that this was ultimately going to have to wait.
“Sean, you really don’t have to worry about me. I’m doing fine, and now that I’m home, with Melly and my friends; I’ll be even better. I know you’re concerned about me drinking again and I know you worry about John, but he’s always going to be around.. that’s just how it is around here. But you need to realize that you not only helped me out of that dark spot in my life, but I chose you. And I invited you here, and I’m hoping that tonight you’ll mingle with my friends and you’ll realize that they’re good people. We gotta leave here in about an hour, so I’ve got to go get ready. But hey, if you’re still worried tonight after the party we can talk it out. And we can spend the day together tomorrow, just the two of us.”
He nodded and smiled a half-hearted smile and made his way back to the guest room. I rummaged through my closet for a while and finally decided on an outfit and made my way to the bathroom.
I was really hoping that tonight would be good. For everyone.
♠ ♠ ♠
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