Never Too Late

Lucy's Point of View

After Lacey and I headed upstairs and went our separate ways, I decided to start unpacking some of my things. I unloaded my books onto the bookshelves Gerard and Mikey had provided, and then set about organizing my CDs and DVDs. When I was through with that, I unpacked my clothes sloppily, attempting organization at first and then giving up quickly. I’d fuck with that another day. I set my laptop up on my desk, then plugged my iPod dock in and queued up Halsey’s Badlands album, which was my favorite music to paint to (and drive to, and shower to…essentially to do everything to).

As that played, I finished the rest of my unpacking, pulling out some pictures and things I’d drawn or painted. My eyes lingered on a picture of Mom, Lacey, and me. Mom was in between us, with Lacey on her right and me on her left. Mom and I had the same blonde hair and green eyes, though Lacey had her dazzling smile. She and Mom were a stark contrast, with Lacey’s dark hair and eyes, but our differences didn’t matter – we’d all just looked happy to be together. I studied the picture for a moment, a familiar pang in my chest. Setting the picture on my end table, I shook the image from my mind and finished the rest of my unpacking, setting some of my painted canvases along the walls so I could hang them after I painted.

I glanced at the clock and it was a little after one when I finished up. I pulled out my sketchbook and flipped through a few drawings before setting it down to go to the bathroom. When I was through a few moments later, I headed back into my room and found Gerard sitting on my bed, flipping through my sketchbook.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I demanded sharply, walking towards him and crossing my arms.

“Lucy,” Gerard said, surprised. “Sorry, I-”

“That’s my stuff,” I cut him off. “It’s private. You don’t see me going through your shit, do you?” I shook my head at him. “What are you even doing in here anyway?”

“I saw your light still on,” he explained. “I was just coming to see if you were okay, then I saw your sketchbook and got curious. I’m sorry.” I closed it, still holding it in his lap. “I draw too.”

“I know,” I said. “Comics.” I’d read one before, the first Umbrella Academy series, when I was in seventh grade. I hadn’t read it since then, but remembered liking it. “They weren’t your drawings though, I remember.”

“No, but I’ve been drawing comics forever,” he said. He looked down at my sketchbook again. “These are really good, though. Can I show you the one I really like?”

I sat down next to him and nodded begrudgingly. “I guess.”

He flipped past a few still-life drawings and stopped on the one I was expecting. “This one is fucking awesome. Like I feel like I know the guy just from looking at him. Just everything about it is so realistic, I feel like I could reach out and touch that hair.” He paused to study it once again. “Who is this guy anyway? Your boyfriend?”

“No,” I said and shook my head. I wished. “I don’t have one. That’s my friend John.” I’d drawn him sitting in the booth at Denny’s, eyes twinkling as he laughed at the pickle Mason had unearthed from his burger that looked like it had a little face. He’d looked beautiful then, his cheekbones high and his smile wide, revealing his perfectly white teeth, like a walking toothpaste ad. He’d been so happy and relaxed that day, and I loved remembering him like that.

Gerard nodded. “Well, I really like this one.” He closed the sketchbook and set it down, his eyes landing on the photo on my end table. He reached for it and picked it up, studying it silently for a few moments. “This is a nice picture of the three of you.”

“Yeah,” I said, not sure what else to say. I wished he’d stop touching my things. I couldn’t think of another way to get him out of my room, so I gave an exaggerated yawn. “Well, it’s been a long day and I’m tired, so I’m gonna go to bed.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” he apologized, setting the picture back on my night stand and standing up. “I won’t keep you up anymore. Sorry again about being in here, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m fine,” I assured him, though I wasn’t even sure how true that statement was. “Good night, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Bright and early,” he added, walking towards the door. “You, Lacey, and I have to go up to the high school and get you registered.” We hadn’t moved far from our old high school, but far enough that we were out of the district, so naturally, in addition to getting used to a new living arrangement with people we didn’t know, my sister and I had to get used to a whole bunch of new morons at another school.

“Joyous,” I mumbled, rolling my eyes.

“It might not be that bad,” Gerard said, though we both knew that was probably stretching the truth.

“We’ll see,” I said.

We said goodnight and Gerard left me alone. I wasn’t really all that tired, so I considered setting up my easel and trying out some of the new paint colors I’d bought earlier, but decided not to. If I had to wake up early, it probably wasn’t best to throw myself into a new project that late at night. I slid out of my pajama pants and crawled between my sheets, thankful that they were hotel level soft.

I tossed and turned for a long time, wondering how things had gotten so fucked up with my family. I knew Dad had been cheating on Mom even before she’d gotten sick, with that stupid bitch I now had to call a stepmother. It wasn’t even a month after Mom died that Dad started bringing Haley around, not even close to long enough to grieve her loss. But another three months later, Haley moved in and immediately ruled the roost, getting her way with our father about everything, even if that meant that Lacey and I were neglected. I wondered how far gone my father was, to not be able to see how much he’d hurt his family. I wasn’t sure if he even cared. Apparently it was easier on the two of them to pass Lacey and I off to Gerard and Mikey, even though neither one of us had no recollection of ever meeting them in our lives. Mom never mentioned them much, so I started to grow curious about why. Were they assholes? Had they had a terrible fight? Had they just drifted apart, all wrapped up in their separate busy lives?

My mind wrestled with these questions for a long time before finally tiring my brain out enough for me to drift off to sleep.