Sisu

**September 17, 2015 Taika’s POV**

Two days after we found out who was joining our family, Holly was set to come over and have a nice long visit. While we had gone to school at Le Cordon Bleu together, our culinary paths had diverged and she had taken a job in the Midwest, where I was never quite sure. We had kept in contact through email and sporadic phone calls but this was the first time we would be able to really gossip and have some fun.

I was sitting in front of the couch, my laptop on the coffee table when the doorbell rang. I got up and answered it. “Hey Hol.” I moved so she could come in.

She came in with a smile. “Hey Tai. I’ve missed seeing you these last few years.” We hugged tightly. “Have you done any exercising yet today?” I snorted, of course she would ask that.

“Not yet, I’ve been looking up prenatal yoga at our favorite yoga place. My plan was to go for a walk today though.” I moved further into the great room but Holly stayed near the door. “Something wrong?”

“Um, not wrong per se. There’s someone I want you to meet though and he’s out in my car.” She was looking nervously out the door.

I grabbed my shoes and put them on. “Well then let’s go.” She grinned at me and we moved out to her car. I was surprised to see a young boy sitting in the back seat.

“This is my son, Damien. He’s 2.” She opened the door and pulled out a bag. “D, this is mommy’s friend Tai. We’re going to go for a walk, do you want to come?”

Damien grinned. “Walk mama!” He then clapped happily. I couldn’t help but giggle.

Holly opened the bag, it was a stroller. “Whoa! What’s that?” I said clearly surprised.

She smiled as she locked it open. “This is the Mountain Buggy Nano. It was a gift at my baby shower and nearly as welcome as the baby box you guys sent.” I smiled. I was very lucky to have found The Baby Box Company online and been able to give Holly one.

“I’m glad you liked it. This is a cool stroller, it’s so small.” She was pulling Damien out of his car seat and putting him in the Nano. Once he was in, we set off. Damien was a happy boy, laughing and babbling while we moved.

We turned onto Reservoir from Highland and started towards Huron, that’s when Holly dropped her bomb. “I have an ulterior motive Tai. I know how huge the decisions you have to make are and I thought you might want someone to walk you through what’s good and what’s not. You’re within walking distance of Magic Beans, one of the local kids stores. I thought we could go through it and figure out what you want or need.”

Blindsided, but happily so, I chuckled. “You’re an awesome friend Hol. We found and have ordered the basic nursery furniture we want, but everything else… I’m _so_ lost.” She laughed heartily. “Don’t laugh at me. I was going to ask the girls for help, but this is even better if you ask me.” She looked over at me and moved.

“Here, you push. He won’t care as long as we’re moving and it’ll give you the chance to see how this performs.” I took over and felt how easy the Nano was to push, even with Damien inside. “So, what furniture did you choose?”

We walked along Huron to the store slowly. “It’s from Oeuf, we liked that it had clean lines. I liked the Stokke Home but Tuukka was afraid he’d hit her head on the frame so we found the other. God, Hol, how am I going to do this mostly alone?”

Holly pulled us to a stop and looked at me. “Stop that. You are _far_ from alone. Not only will the other Bruins ladies be there to help if you need it, but so will I. Have you talked to Frank and Diane or your folks lately?” I shook my head and she sighed heavily. “Then you don’t know how big your support system is even right now do you. No one is going to make you do this alone, not Tuukks or anyone else.” She was actually upset with me over this.

“I’m still the wife of a hockey player. He might not be there when this baby comes.” Yeah… I didn’t realize that this was such a big thing for me, but apparently it was. “He’ll still have practice and games and, god, the travel.”

Holly turned me towards her. “Taika, there is nothing you can do but support him and let him support you to the best of his ability. Yes he will be gone a lot, but don’t think for a moment he would rather be anywhere but with you.” She took back Damien’s stroller and nodded me to come with her. “He’s loved you for years Taika. You two are _A_ -mazing together. Yes, this is a scary time. Pregnancy is scary at times, but I can bet that he is more afraid than you are.”

Hearing that and voicing my own fears a bit helped. I took a deep breath and let it out, it steadied me. “Thanks, I didn’t realize how I was feeling about all this until it started coming out.” She pulled me close and gave me a side hug. “So, where should I start with everything else?”

She smiled. “By cutting yourself some slack first off. This is a huge thing Tai and if you ever need me to vent your fears to. Someone who’s been there and understands, just call.” We were now in front of the shop. “The first place we’re going to start is by how you’re going to get that precious bundle home safely.” She opened the door and moved us all inside.

It was great inside, colorful and welcoming. “Wow.” I said in wonder as I took it all in. I heard Holly chuckle behind me.

“Yeah, my mother in law loves Magic Beans. D has all sorts of stuff from here.” She let him out to walk around. “Here, let me walk you through folding this down.” She walked me through folding the stroller down and stowing it in the bag with it’s carry strap. “See it’s that easy. Damien, that’s not yours, please put it back.” The boy sighed and put back the toy he had picked up to show Holly.

We moved to the back of the store and she showed off the back wall. “We’re starting here, with car seats. I’m going to suggest you start with an infant seat, you have time to search for the best convertible one once you find this one.” She pulled the Cybex off the wall. “This is one of the hottest seats on the market right now.”

One of the employees came over. “Hi, can I help you?”

I turned and smiled. “Yeah, I’m 15 weeks along and need to find a good car seat. Preferably with a European seat belt path.” I looked back at the wall.

She chuckled. “Well, at least you know that much. We only have 2 that fit that, the one your friend is holding and the Nuna Pipa next to where it was.” She went through all the features of both until she hit the sun shade. “The Pipa has the better sun shade of the two. Are you going to need a large sun shade?”

I laughed. “Oh yes, we go home to Finland every summer. She will need protection from the sun for sure.” I showed off some pictures from this summer, bright sunny and on the lake. “This is our summer place. On the water and lovely.”

“Get the Pipa. Either is safe but the sunshade is better with it. It also has the Dream Drape.” She showed it off. “I think with who is in that picture with you, it might also be a big help.” I looked again, Tuukka was in the shot, having just come up out of the water.

They would have to order the color I wanted but that didn’t bother me at all. Instead I decided to look for other things we would need at first, like a carrier and a bag. We looked at several options and of those I liked the Baby K’tan and Boba brands the best. The K’tan needed to be sized but I knew those so I got 1 in grey and 1 in eggplant for Tuukka and I. I started our real baby registry with the Boba carrier.

We spent what felt like hours in the store. I learned so much, I could now talk intelligently to Tuukka about this. I now had a great idea of what we need and what we might want as well. Besides the car seat, I found her first book and narrowed the choices from way too many to a few for play yards and high chairs.

Damien had been so good during our shopping excursion that I felt he deserved a treat. I found a hockey set that was perfect. It was of course a Bruins set and came with not only a puck but a ball as well. I picked it up and moved toward the young boy. “Damien, thank you for being so good while your mommy and I shopped. Does your daddy still like hockey?” I must have said a word Damien knew well cause it got repeated back.

“Hockey? Buwins hockey.” He said pointing at the set.

I smiled. “Yes, Bruins hockey. The best hockey.” He beamed at me and I made a decision. I picked up my phone and dialed my husband. I was shocked when he actually answered.

“Hey ihana. Everything alright?”

“Everything is great. Holly and her son Damien have helped me find some great information for some of the things we’ll need. Are you guys done or would it be possible to bring them down to see you guys?” I heard the guys in the background but without looking at the time I was just guessing.

“She has a son... oh yeah. We haven’t even started yet, come on down, or better yet. Meet us here at noon and we can let the little guy meet us.” I smiled, trust my husband to think of a way to make a kid smile.

I looked at Damien. “Would you like to meet the Bruins later?” His eyes went wide and his jaw dropped into a perfect O. Then the nodded began, hard and fast. “Ok, then we’ll go have lunch with them.” The boy broke into a brilliant smile. I suppressed a chuckle and spoke to Tuukka again. “Ok the three of us will be there at noon, warn Killian would you please.” He agreed and we hung up.

Standing I smiled. “Lunch with the guys, noon at the Garden.” I looked at my phone and saw that it wasn’t even 11 am yet. “So, we have a little time to kill. Where else should we go look?” I started to think about what other basic things we would need for our tähti and found one. “Wait, don’t we need a mattress for the crib? I don’t think they come with one.”

Holly nodded and waved me back towards where they were, letting Damien hold onto the stick set. “You want something firm for infant but maybe a bit softer for toddlers.” She looked at Penelope who had been helping us. “What brand do you have the most of in inventory?”

Penelope looked and confidently answered. “We have 11 Naturepedic mattresses in the whole inventory.” She then pulled the three basic types down. “This one in baby blue normally are the basic model in organic cotton. The green one is the deluxe innerspring, the queen of the brand. My daughter likes this one.” She pulled a purple labeled one over. “It’s seamless and comes either with or without innersprings. Without is very light about 10 pounds in total. That one comes in a 2 stage mattress and would be the one I would recommend.” She handed me the mattress.

I was astonished at how light it was. “This is nice. Let’s add this to the order. Feel this.” I handed it to Holly who just grinned at me. I then spotted the cloth diaper display. “Oh! I want to get some information about cloth diapers.” I went over to the GroVia display and picked up a cover.

Penelope smiled. “I don’t know a lot myself, but I do know where to look online. Can I show you on your phone?” I handed it to her and she pulled up the website Diaper Junction. “Start by looking here and then ask your questions of Google. These guys have all the best brands and can answer a lot of your questions.”

I bookmarked the website and nodded. “I think my husband and I will have to do some research on this topic. This is something we want us both to be able to do easily.” She flipped through a few pages and showed me 3 brands.

“I would suggest the GroVia, Flip and Buttons Diapers for you then. They are known as hybrid or all in two diapers. There are other brands as well but those probably would be the easiest for new parents.” I was starting to love Penelope.

Holly piped up then. “There’s also Rock A Bums. We have some of those and love them. I’ll show you later.”

“Uh oh!” Damien said in an ominous tone.

Holly sighed. “I think we need to get going so I can change him. D, let Taika hold your stick for a minute and then she’ll give it back.” He gave it over warily.

Penelope and I moved to the register. “Your order will be in anywhere from 1 to 3 weeks from now. As long as we have good contact info we’ll call you when it gets here.” I made sure she had the house number and my cell number. She gave me the total and I handed over my credit card with a sigh. I knew kids were expensive but nearly $130 for 3 items… wow, to say nothing of the items we had on order.

We made it back to the house in under 10 minutes, chatting about little things along the way. When we got to her car, she opened the back and pulled out a mat. “Come on, I’ll show you the diapers we love and this change mat.” I opened the door and we went in.

It turned out the Rock A Bums diapers were super cute and came in only a handful of colors. “D loves his cloth diapers. He got such bad reactions to disposable ones that we had to go cloth. No more or very rare rash now.” Damien happily flopped onto the change mat and wriggled into position. “I think he’s going to train himself sooner than we might want him to, but we’ll roll with it.”

I was opening his gift while his mom talked. “So what kind of change mat is this Hol? I’ve never seen one like this.” I gave Damien his new toy and got a grin back.

“Oh, this is a Keekaroo mat. Feel the cover, it doesn’t need an additional cover. If it gets wet or dirty you just clean it up like you would the baby. We love it. If you don’t have a change mat in mind yet, I’d suggest this one. Two if you’re going to have change stations on both levels.” She looked up the stairs and I took the hint.

“Let’s get him put back together and I’ll show you the house.” I chuckled at her blatant looks.

She changed the inner liners on her Rock A Bums and put them into a zippered bag. “There, I’ll deal with them more when I get home. It’s a laundry day anyway.” She helped Damien up and then we went upstairs.

I took them into what we had decided would be our little girl’s room. “This is going to be the baby’s room. I think I know how I want the furniture setup too. Having the crib and dresser away from the window and shades for starters.” I walked the room semi measuring the place. “I think I want to take the door off the closet just to open it up a bit more, but I haven’t talked to Tuukka about it yet.”

Holly looked around. “This is a nice size. Do you have any idea how you’re going to decorate yet?” Damien was enjoying batting around the ball.

“No clue yet. I know we don’t want a typical nursery, but something less cluttered. I might look on Etsy to see if anything catches my eye.” I could see the furniture in place but I couldn’t yet see the decor.

We went to see the Master bedroom and bathroom, both of which got approval for their simple and sensuous feel. Then we got to the Bonus Room. “This is where we spend some nights or when the guys are over where I retreat to.” We sat on our stressless sectional and both sighed. “I’ve fallen asleep waiting for him here.”

“I can see why. Was I seeing things or do you guys have a sauna and hot tub outside?” Damien was loving our hardwood floors and I was glad I had the doors to the guest room closed.

“We do. We love being able to go and use them whenever we want. The sauna is electric so it’s easy to heat up.” I sighed remembering that I would have to turn it down if I wanted to use it. “I was going to tell you how cool your diaper bag is, where’d you get it?”

Holly chuckled. “My mother in law got it at On Centre in Jamaica Plains. It’s got a great lining, it’s light so you can’t lose things in it and the pockets are see through. It’s a So Young Charlie bag. The only problem I’ve found is when we get together with Adam’s sister, we have the same bag.” We laughed at the story she told about his sister freaking out about their cloth diapers when the bags got mixed up once.

She hopped up and went out to her car, coming back with a very large bag. “Before I forget, I brought you some things that helped me.” These were obviously new I noticed as I pulled first the body pillow out and then found a maternity support belt. “The body pillow supports you while you sleep, including tucking between your knees to stop the hip pain.”

I grimaced. “Yeah that’s been getting bad. This is for during the day right?” She nodded and I unpacked the belt. I put it on and felt relief from the strain I didn’t know I was under. “Oh wow. I didn’t think I’d be feeling sore already but apparently I was.”

Holly giggled as she batted the ball back to Damien. “You should try a stability ball too. Works your core while you sit and opens your pelvis a bit more for labor. Helps with correct posture too which helps decrease pain.”

At 11:30 we piled into her car and set off for the Garden. I had grabbed my pass from my car so we could get in and park without a hassle. With lunchtime traffic we got into the Garden at 11:50, just on time if you asked me. I showed off my old place of work while we walked to the dressing room. “I kind of miss this place and it hasn’t even been a week.” I said as we moved.

“Well of course, you worked here for years. I’m sure it’ll get easier as you get further along. At least you can still cook, if only for your family.” I nodded, that was true.

We got to the door and I opened it. “Ready D?” I asked the boy and he nodded. “Ok, here we go.” I pushed his stroller into the lounge. I first saw Talbo and Kells sitting there chatting over lunch. “Ok Damien, these two are pretty nice. Hey Kells, Talbo.” I said at a normal volume.

They turned and broke into twin grins. “There’s our favorite girl. Tuukks said you’d be by for lunch. Who’s this?” I’d known Kells for the last few years and I just smiled at him.

“This is Damien, he’s 2 and his mom is my best friend Holly.” I waved over my shoulder, she waved. “He and his daddy are big Bruins fans who moved back over the summer.” Holly moved around and unstrapped Damien. He was sitting there wide eyed.

Talbo came over and bent down to his level. “This is a nice ride you have. My kids have one that’s similar.” Damien just grinned as he was spoken to.

I sat down and put my feet up. Kells came over to me and sat down. “You look good, not as green as last time.”

I chuckled. “That’s because last time Don had cooked eggs which I can’t be around while cooking, well it’s better now than even Monday. I’m thinking the acupressure bands are helping with that.” I held up my arm and showed off the band. “I’ve also got a better handle on what we need or want for our little tähti, which helps decrease the stress I’ve been feeling.”

He looked at me oddly. “What’s that word mean?”

“It means star.” Tuukka said as he came over. He hugged Holly and kissed my forehead. “I just started calling her that and it fits so well.” I smiled and moved so he could sit down.

“He does mean the baby too, he has another nickname for me.” Holly snickered. I introduced Damien and Holly to the guys and then we slowly grabbed lunch. Killian had been doing well and was more relaxed than a few days ago. “Hi Killian, this looks great.”

He grinned. “Thanks, these guys love that you left me your recipes for some of their favorites.” He let me pick what I wanted from the serving window and I then found a spot near Holly to sit.

Holly went through the line for herself and Damien and then sat back down. Meanwhile Damien leaned over and whispered loudly to me. “Buwins.” The guys chuckled which made his eyes go wide again.

I couldn’t help but smile at his announcement. “Yep, all of them are. They like kids too.” He grinned.

Zee came over and sat on the floor. Damien gasped. “Hello little one. You have a hockey stick.” With eyes as big as saucers Damien held it out to Zee. “Oh this is a good one. Did your mommy get it for you?” Damien shook his head no and pointed at me. “Oh, Tai got it for you.”

I nodded. “Yes because he was so good while Holly and I began wading through baby stuff today. I thought he deserved a reward.” Zee nodded wisely.

“It is always good to get a reward when you’ve been good. Will you show me how well you use it after we eat?” Damien nodded with his mouth slight agape. “Good, your mommy is back with lunch and I have to go get mine now.” Zee stood up and Damien tilted his head back all the way to watch.

“Wow.” He said clearly awed. Holly moved him to the table and they started eating.

Tuukka sat next to me and leaned onto my shoulder briefly, nuzzling my neck. “So did you have a good morning?” He tucked into the meal before him while he waited my answer.

I looked at Holly and chuckled. “I’d say we had a productive morning at least, would you agree Hol?” She nodded. I brought out my phone and showed off the website. “I got a line on where would be good to learn about cloth diapering, and a few brands which would be good for first time parents.”

Kells was sitting across from us. “You’re thinking about going the cloth route?”

I shrugged. “We’re thinking about it. Trying to find a system that not even he can screw up first.” I handed him the phone. Kells looked through the site briefly.

“Looks like a good resource for info. You might want to ask the girls too, maybe they know some stuff about it as well.” Tuukka took my phone back and started to read the most recent blog posts. It wasn’t the best reading material for lunch but that didn’t stop him. Then I noticed he took out _his_ phone and began taking notes. I just let him do what he needed to.

“I was planning on it. I’m also going to be looking for local sources for cloth diaper people. Where to get them and all that. Looks like he’s starting his research too.” I nodded towards my husband.

Holly let the guys take Damien on a tour of the room after lunch, following after of course. I sat with Tuukka and talked about what we had found and what we might want. “So what system do you think would work for us?” I asked pulling up the Diaper Junction site.

Tuukka searched for local cloth diaper spots and found Diaper Lab, in Cambridge of all the luck. “Honestly I like the Buttons and GroVia ones. They seem easy. I want to get more hands on with them before we decide though.” We looked then at the differences between Buttons and GroVia.

“Tuukks, Damien wants to try on your mask.” Bergy came in. “Oh, baby stuff?”

I chuckled. “Yeah, but it can wait for a few minutes. Go on, go show off for D. I’ll keep looking at these.” You would have thought I’d have given him permission to go play like a child instead of letting him go show my friends’ child his gear.

Tuukka kissed my temple and spoke. “We’ll go by Diaper Lab on the way home.” He nearly bounded off to go show off for Damien. I had to laugh about it.

Holly came back in smiling. “I’d forgotten how much those guys love kids.” She sat down with a sigh. “Guess who sent me in here to relax.” That made me smile. She looked at me and then put her head on my shoulder. “I hope I helped you today.”

“Of course you did. You helped a lot, got me to find things we needed with the help of people who knew what we will need.” I checked the phone list I had for what we _should_ have in our nursery. “Thanks to you, we now have a safe way to get this little one home, have the book I’m going to give to Tuukka while we’re in the hospital and a few other things I knew we wanted.” That got me thinking. “Hey, you remember my freak out?” Holly snorted. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that a bit. Would you help me through everything when he can’t be here to help?”

Holly looked at me sideways and I saw her eyes go wide. I turned my head and saw Tuukka standing there. “Making plans without me ihana?” He said coming over and snuggling with me.

I chuckled. “Only to be supported by another family member when you can’t be there yourself. Maybe get her to help me find a good way to deal with the pain.” I had been already thinking about D Day, Delivery Day.

Holly smiled. “I’d love to help you with anything you want me to.” She giggled as Damien being chased by Marchy through the lounge. “He’s going to be worn out, I can’t thank you enough for that. Good afternoon nap today for buddy boy.” Marchy was now carrying Damien back into the room while munching his tummy.

When Damien was finally tired out and used to the guys, Holly made him say good bye and took him home. “Tomorrow is Adam’s day with Damien, could I come over and help find the look for her room?” I looked at Tuukka and saw him shrug, he didn’t care.

“That sounds good. We’ll try to come up with a theme or colors at least.” Tuukka smiled and chuckled at that idea.

“If nothing else go for a clean look, not a lot of clutter before she’s here.” He added. She nodded and headed out for the day.

Tuukka and I spent the afternoon learning about cloth diapers and debating what colors would look best in our nursery. It was a good afternoon.