Diaries of the Man Upstairs

June 1st

Dan is assisting me at work on his day off.
It's also our anniversary but I don't think he remembers.
He's been stressed out.
I think it's having a baby.
Can't blame him.
I'm stressed too.
Becky keeps appearing but I think it's the stress.

Pj and Dan have been trying hard.
Nothing yet.

It's only been a month.

Well get there...

11:39

Phil

"DAN LET'S GO," I yell, grabbing my equipment.

Pj runs in, jumping over the couch and hugging me. "DAN DAN DAN GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN," pj yells, jumping a bit.

"IM COMIN," he yells. He walks in.

"Leather shirt is a huge no. Change." Pj shakes his head and pushes Dan back in our room.

"Thanks a lot," I groan. "It's taken ten years! I'll be dead by the time he's ready."

He comes back out in my galaxy shirt. I smile, pulling him into my chest.

"Okay stop the lovey crap, i have something to say!!!!"

Pj holds up a pregnancy test, squealing like a girl.

I snatch it from his hand and then looking at him confused.

"I don't know how to read it," I whisper. Dan grabs it from me, looking back, as confused as I am.

"I'm pregnant you idiots," he screams, squealing again.

"Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up!" Dan jumps on me the exact way pj just did. I smile really big, hugging him back. I pull pj in it too.

"IM LATE," I scream, running out of the door. Dan runs after me.

We meet the clients in the park.

I've picked up the job as a photographer. I work with clients and with the newspaper so I've been having a bit going on.

"Okay, so sweet sixteen pictures, correct," I ask.

The lady nods, looking at me like I'm a complete idiot.

"Oh yeah! Hi, I'm Phil. This is my trustworthy assistant for the day. His name is Dan but I'm sure if you go meow, he'll answer."

Dan meows, looking at me. I smile, hugging him.

"He's a little kitty," I state.

I just get even weirder stares. I pull away from him.

"You must be Mia," I say, holding out my hand to the blonde girl who was obviously a teen.

"I'm Mia's mother," says the woman next to her.

"Um, shall we get to work? Dan, go to the car and get the tripod." I give him a smile.

"Ever since you got the ring, you treat me like an animal," he exclaims, pretending to be hurt.

"Who's to say you aren't," I ask. He sticks his tongue out at me, taking my backpack from me and digging for my tripod.

I start to inspect the area, telling Mia where I'd like her to stand, which she completely ignores anyway.

"Here you are, mister Lester-Howell," Dan says, setting it up.

"Alright, bear. Do me a favor and call Chris." I hand him my phone. He frowns. "That's what assistants do, bear. They do what I don't have time to do."

"But I'm not your assistant," he whines.

"You said you wanted to work with me, this is what it's like. Would you like to work the camera?"

"It would be nice," he mumbles. I hand him the camera. He just looks up at me, white as a ghost.

"I... I have to go," he whispers. I look at him, confused. He gives me a small smile. "I... hi," he mumbles. He hands me my camera, stumbling backwards.

"Are you okay, babe," I ask.

"B-babe? Okay... okay? Oh, oh no... um... shut up Becky! Wait what?! Shut up! Sorry! Hey Phil! Oh..." he twitches, falling to the ground.

"He's okay, I promise," I say with a smile, taking a couple pictures. "Okay, you guys go over to the big rock. We'll catch up."

I run over to Dan, rocking him as gently as I can.

"I- I need to go home- Becky, stay! Yes ma'am..."

"Becky," I ask, pulling him into my lap. "I'm Phil. I'm here to comfort you. I'm a friend of Dan's."

"D-Dan," he asks.

I bite my lip, nodding.

"You know, brown hair, tall, gross, kinda got a belly going and the dullest eyes, way too tall for my liking, and smells?"

That breaks my heart. Is that really how he sees himself? Because that's not at all how I see him.

"I mean, I think he's ki-"

"Shut up, you're his Gaylord. Now that wasn't nice- SHUT UP BECKY! Phil?"

I can see it in his eyes, that's my Dan! My Dan is somewhere in there!

"Dan," I ask.

"Phil! Help!" He pulls on my shirt.

I think back to what he said about what he said about fixing anxiety. I give him a gentle kiss, careful not to startle him.

He twitches, starting to cry in my shirt.

I carry him over to the rock, must've looked ridiculous.

I set him down in a small patch of meadow.

"Hi, okay. As you can see, my partner is a little sensitive at the moment. He has a bit going on and doesn't feel well. Are you free to come back tomorrow?"

I flash a small smile, hoping for approval.

"We'll call you," Mia's mother says. I nod.

"I'm so sorry. He has anxiety and it's been a bad day for him."

"Yeah... hope we have better luck next time," Mia gripes.

"Sorry," I whisper before scooping my man back up and putting him on my back. I call a cab, gently drying him in the seat and getting myself in too.

I pull his head into my chest, letting him soothe himself as he plays with his shirt.

"Are you alright," I ask. Dan just ignores it, continuing to suck on my shirt.

I make the taxi park a block away due to that episode of Sherlock and the fact that I wouldn't be smart enough to choose the right one.

I pay the man, picking Dan back up and carrying him home. Deciding i can't make it up the stairs holding him, I attempt to set him on the couch in Pj's side of the house. Unfortunately, Pj is already asleep there.

I carry Dan up the stairs, setting him on our couch in his crease. He just sits there. I turn on the tv for him but no movement. I sigh, kissing his head.

I go back down to pj, pulling a blanket for him. I gently take off his binder and tuck him in.

I know he's always loved how flat chested he is.

On my way back to Dan, I run in to Chris as he just walks in.

"Pj's asleep! Listen, I need you to take Dan's shift for me."

"Why? Are you 2-"

"No! Come here!" I grab his wrist, pulling him up the stairs and to Dan where he still sits, staring blankly at nothing. Hasn't touched anything. Hasn't moved a bit.

I bite my lip, hoping Chris has an answer. I could tell he hopes he has one too.

We're all doomed. I don't know what to do anymore.