Diaries of the Man Upstairs

June 8th
Dan hasn't been coming out... but he's been letting me in.

I think the bedroom is a safety and that he can't really go anywhere else and be safe without talking.

I've been watching Chris.

He's got a lot going on.

He drinks constantly...

Pj's doing better. Going to work.

Other than that... its been quite slow going.

We're all so miserable.

3:15 pm

Dan

Phil starts to put laundry away as I was playing the Xbox.

He had just finished cleaning our room and scrubbing the Windows.

But after he did the laundry... he has to go to work.

It made me a bit upset how often he leaves me... but I guess I worked that way too.

Before he leaves, he gives me a kiss on the head and a small "bye kid. I love you. Be sure to eat while I'm gone."

I give him a small smile in agreement. He smiles back.

"I'll be back to make dinner. Fried rice like you like."

I grab his hand, writing 'I love you' with my finger. He smiles back at me.

"I know," he whispers. "I'll see you later. Be safe."

I nod. He kisses my cheek and leaves.

I have the whole hose to myself. Pj is at work too.

I get up and that a shower, fixing myself up, deciding to take Phil out tonight.

I dress myself, straighten my hair and brush my teeth. I couldn't help but stare at myself in the mirror.

Alright Dan, you've got this. Man up. Talk! Phil hates it. You know that. You can't even make a freakin video.

Just take a breath... and say it.

I open my mouth to speak. Nothing comes out.

I take a deeper breath.

"P-..." I whine really loud.

Okay. One more time. You were close... ish.

"Phi... phi-l... Phil... Phil." I smile at myself. "Ph-Phil... I... l-love... you?"

I grin.

And then I turn around to see willow and I've lost it.

I can't talk...

I but my lip. I grab the leashes, trying to get the dogs to know I want to take them out.

Oh? I should try that with Phil...

I giggle at myself.

I take the dogs on their leashes to the pet store for food.

As I walk by the collars, I notice a spiky one, making me grin. I take it, heading to the register.

I tiny man with the bluest eyes stands at the register.

I hand him everything.

His name tag reads troye.

I like that name.

"Quite nice out today," he states. I nod.

"19.30." I give him a 20. He starts to pick out change but I call his attention by snapping. I shake my head.

"Oh...? Okay... have a nice day then." I nod.

With that, I head back home.

When I look at my receipt, I see a phone number written down along with a small note.

'You seemed cool. I'm taken but you still seemed cool. Give me a ring whenever. We should hang.'

I smile.

I hide the collar, put food in the bowls and turn on the tv where I spend the next few hours till I fall asleep.

"Dan?!" Phil walks in, waking me up.

"Baby," I scream, jumping over the couch and giving him a kiss, taking Dil from him.

"Awe! Baby got shots?" I kiss Dil's cheek.

"Will you put him down? While I fix dinner?"

"Of course I'll put my little dinosaur to sleep! Come on little llama!" I carry Dil to bed and start to rock him when I hear a scream and the fire alarms.

I take Dil, running to the kitchen where I find a huge oven fire but it wasn't in the oven anymore. In fact, it was blocking the door.

Phil... can't... get out... he's trapped.

I can't reach him.

"Dan! Dan, go get pj! It's spreading fast! Take them outside and call 911!"

"Phil, I can't leave you," I yell back at him, trying to find a way around.

"Dan, go! I'll be okay!"

I take his orders, getting pj and running out of the house. The whole back of the house is in flames.

I look around and notice something.

"Phil... Phil?! WHERES PHIL?! PHIL!!"

"Phil," I ask.

"Pj," I hear a voice call.

I shoot up, panicking.

I see Phil and I laugh. I get up, running and hugging him.

I take his hand, writing 'date' with my finger in his hand.

I pull him to the bedroom, changing and handing him clothes to change into.

"Oh? We're getting our nice clothes?"

I nod.

I pull him out the door and too the sushi restaurant that's his favorite and get us a seat.

He orders for me.

"So what are we celebrating," he asks.

I take his hand and write 'bad' which he reads out loud. I nod and then write 'dream' which he also reads out loud. Then I wrote 'you die'. He looks at me, with confusion. I nod again. 'Fire bad.' He bites his lip.

"Are you okay," he asks. I nod.

'Hear' I write. He looks at me, confused.

"Ph-ph-ph-Phil," I stutter. He looks at me, slamming the table.

"Do it again," he yells. I shush him.

"P-ph-phi-phi-Phil," I stutter, kind of confused on how it came out. His whole face brightens. He grabs me by my face, kissing me gently. I smile into it.

"I love you, bear," I hear him whisper as he pulls away. I smile, nodding.

"Phil," I mumble in reply.

"Is there anything else," he asks. I shake my head. He smiles bigger, kissing my hand. "Gotta start somewhere, right? I think Phil is a great place to start. Really great."

I blush. He kisses my nose,

Our food is delivered. Phil feeds me since we got each other's plates. He's not very handy with chopsticks but doesn't me he's not handy elsewhere. Hint hint.

I get to feed him when he's done feeding me. He didn't want me to but he let me.

I miss a couple times... on purpose honestly.

Just so that I could lick what spilt off his face.

He giggles when I do. I like it.

"I am so glad it's the weekend now. Although my boss is coming tomorrow."

I nod, pointing at myself.

When we finish, I pay with the little money I have from not working anymore and I take him home, cuddling into him as I do.

When we get home, we just sort of sit around for awhile, making out to be honest.

I push him off of me, slowly walking into our room, pulling out the collar and leash I'd bought really as a joke. He did laugh. But he put it on.

I pull him in with me.

All in all, it was a perfect night. Even if I can only say one word and he's stressed himself out. I haven't really let him in much lately. I missed him. I could tell he really missed me.

I really love this man. I really do.

I wouldn't possibly ever live without him. Not by choice.

Never.