For You

I woke up in the morning, surprisingly not as hungover as I imagined I’d be. Bam was still passed out next to me as expected. I decided to fuck with him a little bit by tickling his underarms, pulling on his hair and even touching his balls. He was so hungover, he was having none of my bullshit. “Leave me be.” He mumbled into the pillow.

“Fine,” I huffed. “I’ll just hang out in Ryan’s room.”

“Thank god.” Is what I think he mumbled under his breath. I stuck my tongue out at him before reaching for clothes that were laying on the floor, a pair of shorts and one of Bam’s Element tees. I crept out of the room so I wouldn’t disturb Bam any longer and headed to Ryan’s.

“Hey, sunshine.” I said when I entered and laid in bed next to him.

“You were wasted last night,” He laughed. “How ya feeling?”

“I’m not super hungover, just very tired and lazy. Shit! I should go check on Kylie!”

“I did about 15 minutes ago. Ya know…to make sure she was still breathing and didn’t barf in her sleep.”

“Thank you.” I smiled at him. “Are we the only ones up?”

“Yep. Everyone went home aside from Kylie and Sam.”

“I should make everyone breakfast.” I said, a thought I had for a split second. “But I’m far too lazy for that.”

Ryan started to laugh as he sat up in bed. “Come on, we’re the dream team. We’ll do it together.”

“Coffee and cigarettes on the back deck first?” I questioned.

“This is exactly why we’re best friends.”

I stopped in my bedroom to grab a hoodie before going downstairs, careful to not wake Sam who was sleeping in my bed. I hope she didn’t hear Bam and I having sex last night, I might’ve been kinda loud. Better her than Kylie, I guess. I also checked on Kylie to make sure she was alright, as she’s probably been passed out for 10 hours or so. As agreed upon, Ryan and I sat out on the back deck and smoked and drank coffee before making breakfast for everyone. I took advantage of Bam’s juke box being free and decided to blast music, just like he does when the rest of us are passed out. I had Avenged Sevenfold’s ‘City of Evil’ blaring throughout the house as we cooked and everyone eventually gathered in the living room, one by one.

I turned the music down a bit before speaking. “Ryan and I made all you assholes breakfast, you’re welcome.”

“You’ll each find some Tylenol next to your orange juice.” He said.

“Dude, we should open a bed and breakfast, we’re great hosts.”

“The best.” Ryan said, giving me a high five before joining everyone at the table. Everyone but Bam, that is. He was curled up on the couch, his hoodie hiding his ridiculously messy hair.

“Did you need a special invitation?” I asked.

“I feel like my entire soul has left my fucking body.” He complained in a whiny voice.

“You need to eat something and hydrate.” I told him. “Then you and Kylie can mope around together.”

“I forgot she even existed.” Bam laughed. “Is she okay?”

“She’s alright, just doesn’t feel well. She needs food, just like you do.”

Bam sat up and looked over at me, his hood falling off and revealing that thing on his head he called hair. “Did you make the bacon how I like it?”

“Of course.” I told him, rolling my eyes in the process and the two of us joined everyone at the table. “What do you wanna do today Kylie? I figured we can hang out with Sam for the day, just us girls.”

“Well…that was rude.” Raab said. “Exclude the rest of us.”

“Maybe we should go do yoga.” Sam chimed in.

“Yep, count us out.” Ryan said, the guys nodding in agreement. Sam is pretty quick on her feet. “I can think of a million other things I’d rather do.”

“I’m not doing shit today.” Bam said. “Not until I recover from this hangover, so you asses are on your own.”

The girls and I decided to go shopping and then figure it out from there, nothing too crazy, I was perfectly okay with it since my last trip to the mall wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. I even convinced my dad to let Kylie stay one more night so she could watch CKY play in Philly with us tonight. I got dressed and went to check on Bam before we left.

“You okay?” I asked, leaning over the bed.

“Getting there.” He said as he pulled me down on top of him. “And I gotta do this all over again tonight after the concert.”

“You don’t have to drink tonight if you don’t want to, ya dork!”

“Oh, but I’m going to anyway.”

I just shook my head at him, running my fingers through his messy hair. “Can I get you anything while I’m out?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Can I take one of your cars?” I snuggled up next to him as he agreed to it. “Any car I want?”

“Which one?” He questioned, already knowing what I was going to say.

“The car you said only I was allowed to drive.”

“You mean the car I said only you can drive WHILE I’m in it with you?”

“Brandon!”

“Ugh, Haley.” He rolled his eyes. “Don’t crash it, don’t die.”

“Thank you!” I planted a kiss on him before jumping up and grabbing his keys. “We’ll be back later!”

“Drive really fast with your eyes closed!” He yelled after me, his way of saying be safe.

We spent our whole week off partying at least half of the time, last night was our last time to have fun before April and Phil came back. Today we had to start filming again and I was given to task of picking up Novak from rehab. I didn’t exactly agree with his short stay, staying longer would probably do him some good but it wasn’t my choice to make. I was awake before Bam, that’s because I was smart and didn’t drink as much as I normally would, there was no way I was waking up to pick up Novak if I was hungover. I laid there with Bam, our naked bodies intwined together while I had Avenged Sevenfold playing on my phone on low.

After a while, I realized Bam had woken up when he started humming along to ‘Seize The Day’. “You don’t even like this band!” I laughed.

I reached over and kissed Bam’s neck, causing him to pull me closer and kiss my forehead. “I like this one, it reminds me of you. What time is it?”

“Early.” I mumbled, going back to kissing his neck, trying my best to ignore what he said. “I think we got a little too close this week.”

It was true, too, we slept together every night and had sex a few times, during the day we were basically attached at the hip. One day we spent the whole day on the couch, watching TV and making out. “Yeah, I think we did.”

“We should really cool it.”

“We will, as soon as we leave my bedroom.” He smirked and rolled over on top of me.

“I guess one more time can’t hurt.” I said while my legs wrapped around his waist and my hands found their way to his hair. Just as I started to kiss him, we heard April screaming and complaining about the mess we all left last night. “I think your parents are home.”

“Shit!” Bam hissed, pushing his forehead against my shoulder. “You ready?”

“No.” I mumbled. “Do you think this is a good idea?”

“If what’s a good idea?”

“Bringing Novak back into this environment?”

“You mean the environment where there’s heroin all over the house?” Bam questioned. “I get what you’re saying, yeah, we party but what am I supposed to do with him? Ship him back to Baltimore so he can shoot up?”

“I guess you’re right.” I sighed. “I just wish we had other options.”

“It’ll be fine.”

Before leaving Bam’s room, we agreed to sleep apart for a while and just try to act normal or whatever you wanna call it. I had to get ready to pick up Novak so I showered and got dressed. Ryan came into my room while I was doing my hair.

“Today’s the big day.” I said.

“Excuse me if I don’t want to throw him a welcome back party.” Ryan rolled his eyes. “I just wanted to talk real quick.”

“What’s up, Ry?”

“I’m worried about you.” He said. I just stared at him, waiting for him to continue because I wasn’t sure what the hell he was talking about. “Not because you have to pick up Novak! I’m talking about Bam.”

“Can you explain? I don’t exactly know what you’re talking about.” I said.

“Look, I just want you to be careful okay?” He said. “Ever since you moved in…things with Bam…look I don’t know. The way you guys are acting, I don’t know if it’s because you’re together 24/7 or what.”

“I get it, Ryan. I know. We both agreed we went a little overboard this past week-“

He started to laugh and shake his head. “This past week..? Sweetheart, its been like this since the day you moved in here. Look, I’m not trying to tell you what to do with Bam, that’s your business. I love you, I just don’t want you to be hurt and I don’t want him to be hurt. Look, just try not to hurt each other okay?”

“We’re not going to hurt each other.” I leaned over and hugged him. “But thank you for being concerned, I love you for it.”

On the drive to pick up Novak, I had a lot on my mind. Mostly what Ryan had said about Bam and I and how close we’ve been since I moved in. Were we really always this close and we just didn’t realize because we lived in different houses? Or are my feelings for him just deeper BECAUSE I moved in? Have his feelings changed? Is all of this even supposed to mean anything! Before I knew it I was at the Rehab facility Novak was staying at. I got out of the car and waited for Novak to come out, he had a smile on his face when he saw me, but I could tell he was a little disappointed.

“Life parter still mad at me?” He asked as I threw my arms around him for a hug.

“You look good.” I smiled, ignoring his question. He didn’t ask again and we got into the car. “Do you need anything before we head back to West Chester?”

“Just a fucking cigarette.” He laughed, thanking me when I handed him one. I also needed one too, after that conversation I had with my inner self.

“Don’t they give you cigarettes in rehab?”

“Yeah, fucking stale ones.” He said. “I mean, we smoke them anyway cause it’s better than nothing, but nothing beats a fresh one. So why didn’t Bam come to get me?”

“He had to do a few things today, he sent me instead.” I lied. “So what’s going on in your head?”

“Can’t shake the feeling that my best friend might hate me.” He started. “I betrayed him, disrespected his parents, fought with Dunn because I’m an idiot and I know what you guys might think of me, I hate it.”

“Bran, me and you had many late night conversations about your addiction. You told me so many stories about how the drugs make you feel and what you’ve went through since you started doing them. But I will never understand how it truly feels. I know recovery isn’t the easiest thing, if it was, we wouldn’t be here right now.”

“I love the high, but I hate the person I am when I’m on them. All my friends see me as a fucking scumbag and that kills me.”

“We love you, Bran.” I told him. “Even if we can’t trust you, we still love you. The clean Brandon Novak is a really great guy and a good friend, that’s the version of you I will always know.”

“You think the others feel the same way?”

“Of course!” I said. “If you’re not in a good place or even if you screw up again, you need to reach out for help. I don’t wanna see your life be taken away by your addiction.”

“This times gonna be different, it is.”

I could tell he really believed that, but I knew otherwise. I knew him too well to think this would be the last time, the guy has a long road ahead of him. I definitely didn’t agree with such a short rehab stay, but Novak believed he was magically cured and everything would be fine. He did tell me about the meetings and counseling he had every week, hopefully that would keep him on the right path…only time will tell.