Screaming Gestures

~103 ~ 3145

I didn’t want to go back to school. Not after that disaster of the day. After I got home, Mom was all over me. She wouldn’t leave me alone to breathe for even a few minutes. I had tried to lock myself into my room away from everything, but Mom would unlock the door and come barging in with food that I didn’t want or another bandaid for my head. By the tenth time, I just decided to act asleep. It was easier than having to deal with her overprotectiveness. Sometimes, especially this time, I was glad I couldn’t hear her nagging.

After nine that night, my mom gave up. She had gone to sleep, so it was my time to get up and feed myself. Leaving my room, I went to the kitchen and found a plate from dinner in the microwave. I pulled the heated plate from the microwave and went to my dad’s study. I opened the door and peeked my head in, finding my dad behind his desk.

“Can I come in?” I asked.

“Yeah, CJ, come on in.” He waved me in.

I smiled and sat on the couch, placing the plate in my lap. I took a few bites, watching my dad read whatever drafting blueprint from his work he had in front of him. It was nice, just being able to sit with him. It probably helped that Carter had been the spitting image of my dad. If you took Carter, threw on a few wrinkles and some grey hair, you’d have my dad. Sometimes, it was a little scary.

As I took my last bite, Dad waved at me.

“Are you okay?”

I sighed. “Do you think you and Mom can stop asking me that?”

“Not until we know you are.” Dad signed. “Mom told me what happened at school.”

“I figured. But I’m fine. It was just a scratch. And I got to go home after, so that was a bonus.”

Dad shook his head, sliding out from behind his desk and coming towards me. He took the plate from my lap and set it on his desk before sitting next to me.

I turned in my seat to face him.

“We can find a deaf school around here. Even if mom and I have to drive you.” Dad offered, earning a violent head shake from me. “It’s really not a problem.”

“No, Dad!” I signed firmly. “I’ll spend more time in a car than I want to. I can adjust. I can pay more attention, figure things out with my teachers. A guy helped me out today. Told me the assignment.”

Dad raised his eyebrows. “A guy?”

I scoffed. “Dating is not on my mind. Besides dating a hearing guy who doesn’t sign? Doesn’t sound fun.”

“Okay, okay.” Dad laughed. “No dating. But try to make friends.”

“I would have to be in school longer than half an hour for that to be possible.”

“Well, hopefully the flock will stay home tomorrow.”

I showed Dad a small smile and nodded.

Dad sighed. “I know you’re not happy about moving. And I know it’s hard with no deaf schools close by. But who knows? If you and Lydia spent some time together, maybe you could teach her.” Dad suggested.

I nodded. Little did he know, that was already the plan.

“I just don’t want you to be miserable. I want you to make friends.”

“I had friends.”

Dad lowered his head, remembering that. “You know why we came back here. You agreed to it.”

“For Carter.” I told him. “Carter should be here. This is his home.” I admitted, lowering my head. I felt my eyes start to pool with tears.

Dad placed his hand on my knee for comfort.

I looked up at him and he saw the tears in my eyes.

His shoulders fell. “CJ?”

“I’m okay.” Even though I wasn’t sure that I was. In fact, I knew that I wasn’t. I didn’t have any of my friends and my best friend was dead. I was at a new school, where I was attacked by stupid, random crows. No one understood me, both figuratively and literally. “This was where Carter wanted to be. It’s where he was going to come back after he finished school. We followed Carter to school, and I’m glad we’re following him home.”

“Seems like there’s a ‘but’ coming.”

“No but. It’ll just take some getting used to.” I admitted. Getting used to. Teaching. Learning. Being friendly, patient, and accommodating. Being in Beacon Hills was going to take a lot of work.

!@#$#@!

The next morning, I wanted to get to school a little early. I wanted to find my lockers and try to meet with my teachers about a game plan. Since I only got to see one of my teachers yesterday, I wanted to give the rest a heads up that I couldn’t hear them when they were teaching. Many of them agreed to help by e-mailing me their notes from the day. One of them, my chemistry teacher, was the toughest to convince to help. He also didn’t seem like he wanted to give me a break or any extra help. I hoped that maybe Lydia would be able to help me out.

The halls were beginning to crowd as it got closer to the start of school. I made my way towards the room that my English class would be in until they replaced the windows. As I was walking, I noticed someone turning out of the classroom.

The guy looked so familiar. I knew him. He was wearing a burgundy colored shirt and looked way too old to be in high school. Instead of continuing in my direction, he turned down another hallway.

I followed after him. I pushed through bodies of students who were practically trying to knock me over. I followed the guy until he made it to the doors leading outside the building.

He exited.

I had to do something. I pushed through the heavy door and called for him. “Derek!”

The guy stopped and turned to face me. It was him. He was taller and had more hair on his face than the last time I saw him, but there was no mistaking it. Derek was standing in front of me, still a few yards away. “CJ?” He signed the letters.

I smiled, my lip trembling. I broke into a run and jumped into his arms. I wasn’t sure what exactly came over me, but seeing him brought so many memories of me, him, and Carter. I was so small but I still followed them around like a little puppy.

Derek put me down and took a step away from me. He signed something but I couldn’t understand it. Derek shook his head and looked at me closely so I could read his lips. “Sorry, my signing is a little rusty.”

“That’s okay.” I said, still signing. “Just talk slow.”

“What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?” I countered. “Did you find Laura? Is everything okay?”

Derek suddenly looked sad. “She was murdered. When I found her.”

A lump formed hard in my throat. I knew how much Derek loved Laura, and I loved her, too. She was like a big sister to me. “Derek, I’m - ”

Derek shook his head. “It’s okay. It was a long time ago.”

“A year is not a long time. Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you call me?” Then I’d realized what I said. I slapped my hand to my forehead. “That’s a stupid question.”

He laughed. “How’s Carter? He almost done with school?”

I bit my lip and lowered my sight. It blew my mind how much things can change in a year. A year ago, Derek was telling us that he was going to find his sister after not hearing from her for a while. In that time, we hadn’t heard from either of them. It was unsettling for a while. Especially for my parents, who saw Derek and Laura as kids of their own. But not long after, I lost my hearing completely and then Carter…

“Carter’s gone, too.” I finally admitted, swallowing the heavy lump in my throat. “He was in a really bad car accident a week ago. We moved back to bury him here.”

If it was possible, Derek’s face fell more. He quickly stepped back forward and engulfed me in another hug.

On my back, I felt him rub his fist in a circle. This was his way of telling me how sorry he was. I nodded against his shoulder. “I know. Me, too.” I held him tighter and was thankful he didn’t pull away until I did. I sniffled and wiped under my eyes. “We should tell my parents that you’re here. They’d love to see you. Especially since you just took off last year.”

Derek nodded. “I will. But not right now. I’ve got...something going on right now. A couple of my friends are in some trouble and I need to fix it.”

“Anything I can help with?”

“No.” Derek said quickly.

I was curious. He was hiding something. But then again, that was always how Derek was. There was always something he wasn’t telling us. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. It’s just something I have to take care of alone.”

I nodded, slightly upset he wouldn’t confide in me. “Okay.” I jerked my thumb back at the school. “I should go.” I turned up the corner of my mouth before turning back towards the school.

Derek stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. “Can I come see you in a couple days?”

“Of course.” I pointed between him and me. “We’re family.”

Derek nodded. “I’ll text you. Do you still have the same number?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“Good.” Derek looked at the school and then back at me. “That was the bell. You need to go.”

I checked my phone for the time, seeing Derek was right. I held open my arms, asking for another hug. Thankfully, he accepted. “I’ll see you later.”

Derek nodded, pulling away. He waved at me as I rushed back into school.

Maybe with Derek being in Beacon Hills, it wouldn’t be so bad. My day was already looking up because of seeing him. Of course, it was weird to see him without Carter. The two were nearly inseparable. Especially after his family died. He and Laura had tried for a long time to make it work by living with us, but we weren’t their real family. So, Laura, being of age, took Derek across the country in search of more Hales. Carter never would have admitted it, but Derek moving away was hard on him. They were best friends, and never really hung out with anyone else. Even when the kids of Carter’s basketball team tried to get him to go out, it wasn’t the same. When Carter graduated, he found out where Derek had been and applied for colleges in the area. We followed Carter there, and found Derek and Laura. The family was reunited.

When I had entered our temporary classroom, Miss. Blake (whose name I’d found out when I talked to her earlier) had saved me a seat in the front. I was thankful, but still slightly embarrassed. The best part about it, though, was that Lydia was seated behind me. All I had to do when I didn’t understand something was turn around and ask.

I wasn’t sure how Lydia’s friends felt about the situation. I didn’t know if they asked her any questions. I didn’t know if they wondered who I was and why she was being so friendly to me. They may have asked, but Lydia certainly didn’t tell me about it. Not that we had time to discuss her friends. I still only knew Stiles’ name and we only talked once the other day when I forgot my phone in the classroom. I wondered if she would introduce me to them, even though I hoped that she wouldn’t. While it’d be nice to have friends, I wasn’t sure I was ready to be bombarded by so many new people. It would become extremely overwhelming and I was sure to just implode.

The rest of the day went by quickly with me working on the assignments that the teachers told me to do beforehand. Nobody bugged me throughout the day, which, in a way, was nice. I could just focus on my school work and not worry about anything else through the day. I needed that kind of distraction after running into Derek.

Of course, my lunch period was a little difficult. I didn’t know who to sit by, considering I didn’t really have any friends. I had grabbed a bag of chips from the vending machines and didn’t have a real reason to sit down anyway. I stood awkwardly, just looking around the room, searching for a place to sit. After not finding anywhere that I would want to sit, I made my way to the library. At least I could get my homework done and get a head start on anything else I had for the day.

Little did I know, I was followed.

After sitting at the table for only a moment, two people sat at my table, one next to me and one across from me. I looked up to see my red-headed cousin, as well as a brunette next to me.

“Hey.” Lydia said, passing a coffee to-go cup in my direction.

I furrowed my brow. “Is this for me?”

She nodded.

“Thanks.” I grasped the cup and took a sip. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it tasted good.

“CJ, this is my best friend, Allison.” Lydia told me. “Allison, CJ.”

I looked to my right and nodded. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Allison responded, clearly distracted. She pulled out her laptop and a notebook and started to search for something, staring at her arm every now and then.

“Did you get all the work from Ms. Blake’s class?” Lydia asked. “Or questions about anything else?”

I shook my head at my cousin. “Well, except for one thing.” I reached for my class schedule. “My chem teacher, Mr. Harris, kinda seems like an ass. Am I right, or is it just because I can’t hear his snark?”

“No, you’re right. Don’t worry about him.”

“I’m just worried about me. If he won’t cooperate with me, I don’t think I’ll do well.”

“Just stick with me, sweetheart. If you show him that you can do it without his help, he may lend you a hand every now and then.” Lydia smiled and me, and took a sip of her coffee. Her eyes caught something behind me and I turned to look.

A pair of blond haired twins entered, talking amongst each other.

I looked back at her. “Who’s that?”

“I don’t know.” Lydia responded, a dreamy tone to her voice. “But I want one.”

Allison turned her head to look, finally coming out of her own project. I was curious about what she was doing, but decided not to ask. The brunette turned back to the table. “Which one?” Allison asked.

“The straight one, obviously.” Lydia took another sip of her coffee.

“How do you know one is gay?” I asked.

Lydia gestured back at the boys.

I took the hint and glanced behind me.

A dark-haired boy came from around the bookshelf and locked eyes with one of the twins. The tall boy bumped into someone else because he was so distracted by the blond’s looks.

I could agree that the twins were fairly attractive, but I didn’t seem them as my type exactly. They seemed to know how good they looked. Cockiness was not attractive in my eyes. I looked back to Lydia at the same time she set her coffee down.

Allison picked Lydia’s coffee back up at the same time Lydia got up from the table.

I shook my head, wondering where my confidence gene had gone to. I sighed and looked over at Allison.

Allison’s lips were moving, but she realized that Lydia wasn’t sitting in front of us anymore. She looked behind her to see Lydia had joined the handsome twin.

“Did you say something?” I asked her, pointing to my ear, hopefully telling her I couldn’t hear her.

Allison looked at me for a second before shaking her head. “No.” She smiled. “Not really.”

I nodded. I checked the time on my phone and saw the bell was going to ring shortly. I packed up my book into my bag. “I guess I’ll see you later.” I said, looking at her.

Allison smiled again and nodded before looking back down at whatever she had been working on.

I sighed quietly. Before turning away from the table. Well, that had been a complete disaster. I guess It will be a while before I actually do have friends.

!@#$#@!

When I got home, Mom was at the door waiting for me. “Hi, sweetie. How was your first ‘real’ day?”

“It was okay.” I said, making my way towards my room.

“Do you have a lot of homework?”

I shook my head. “They give me all my work for class and for home at the beginning. I do it all sitting there.”

“So, you’re working on your own?”

“Is this gonna turn into twenty questions? If so, I’d really like to put my backpack down and have a seat.”

Mom gave me a stern look. “I just, I thought you would get help from a couple people. Maybe make some friends.”

I rolled my eyes at her, trying not to let the hurt of Lydia’s friend’s rejection get to me. “I’m not focused on making friends right now. You know that.”

“Chandler, you need friends.”
“Not right now!” I stressed. “Right now, I need to get over Carter. I need to get into the swing of things. I need to get to a steady rhythm with my school work. I need to understand that I’m going to have a hard time understanding everyone for a while. I need to get used to not having my old friends around.”

Mom sighed.

“Sometimes there are things that are more important than making friends.” Maybe I should have told her about Lydia and Allison at lunch. Only that would just give her a reason to call her sister-in-law and find out what was going on. I also probably should have told her about Derek to get her off my back, but I didn’t want to. Derek seemed hesitant about coming over anyway. I wouldn’t want to get her hopes up.

“Okay.” Mom signed. “Anything in particular you want for dinner?”

I shook my head. “I’m not hungry.” Without waiting for a response, I went off to my room.