Screaming Gestures

~104 ~ 3239

Something felt different about today. I couldn’t place it and I had no idea what it was, but something was off. I woke up on my own accord and not to my mom bursting into my room. I was able to dress myself with no argument from her about what I was wearing. She even let me drive myself to school. Having that freedom was weird. I was skeptical at first. The past week or so, I’d had to beg to use my car and in the end, Mom would shut it down completely. It had made sense though, with Carter’s accident.

Well, our car accident. I had to start getting that straight.

Once I got in the driver’s seat, it took me a minute or two, just sitting in the seat and preparing myself for the short drive. Ten minutes. Until I was at school. That’s all it took and yet I couldn’t bring myself to put my key in the ignition. I couldn’t even close the car door. I sat in the driveway, willing myself to move and start the car, but it wasn’t happening.

I leaned my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes. I hit my head against the seat just a few times hoping it would knock some sense into me. The school was just down the road. And then that other road. I guess there is another road after that one, too. A lot could happen in those three roads.

I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t drive to school. What the hell was I thinking?

I dropped my head in my hands, feeling the tears spring up. When the hell was I going to stop crying? The worst part about all this was that both Mom and Dad were gone. The school may have been ten minutes from my house, but that was by car. I could only imagine how long it would be if I were to walk. I probably wouldn’t make it to first period. I groaned, feeling the need to punch something. Instead I grabbed my backpack from the passenger seat and threw it out of my car with a force that landed it halfway in the yard.

As soon as the strap left my hand, I saw someone approaching from the corner of my eye. I turned, my hair flying in front of my face. “Lydia?” I asked, pushing my hair back.

Lydia came towards me cautiously. “You’ve got quite the arm. You kept playing softball after you left, didn’t you?”

“No, I switched to field hockey.” I said, harshly. “What do you want?”

“Please drop the sass, CJ.” She pointed back at the car and Allison stood from the driver’s seat. “We were driving by, saw your car door open, and stopped.”

I pushed myself out of the car and stood there, wondering if there was more that she had to say.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded, not sure why I did. “I’m fine.”

Lydia raised her brow at me, looking back at my car and then my backpack. She had caught me.

“I could use a ride.” I said quietly. “If Allison doesn’t mind.”

Lydia smiled at me. “Let’s go to school. Okay?”

I nodded, going to retrieve my backpack from the yard. I sighed, wishing I hadn’t had to rely on them. I should have been able to just start my car and drive to school myself. It frustrated me that I couldn’t. It’s a simple task, one I have done so many times before.

Allison seemed distracted the entire drive to the school. Even though I wasn’t paying attention to the conversation they were having, Allison seemed nervous. Almost as if she was hiding something.

After she parked the car, all three of us got out of the car. I tried to thank the girls and rush into the school, but Lydia put her hand on my arm to stop me. I took a deep breath, watching them talk.

“Not at this bank.” Allison said, confusing me. “It’s been closed for years.”

“Why aren’t you telling Scott?” Lydia asked, as we walked around the car towards the trunk.

Allison tied the belt around her jacket. “Because according to someone I need to find something real.”

I tapped Lydia’s arm. “Who’s Scott?”

“He’s our friend. Allison’s ex-boyfriend.” Lydia explained. “You’ve met him. He was the guy sitting in front of you on the first day.”

I nodded my head, understanding.

Allison opened her trunk and retrieved her bag.

Facing the car, I was shocked to find bolt cutters in the truck. My eyes widened and Allison must have noticed, because she pulled her bag out quickly and shut the trunk. I opened my mouth to say something, but Allison spoke over me.

“Which reminds me, I can’t drive you home today, I have an errand to run after school.” Allison told Lydia.

“That’s okay.” Lydia said, turning towards me. “Do you want me to ask my mom to get us?”

“I can walk, if it’s a big deal. I don’t mind.” I told her.

Lydia shook her head. “I am not letting you walk. Trust me, if you knew half of what goes on in this town, you wouldn’t even consider walking.”

“What do you mean?” I questioned.

Lydia seemed to want to say something else, but Allison spoke first.

“There have just been a couple murders in town.” the brunette said.

“Seriously?” I asked, surprised I hadn’t ever heard of them.

“You’ve been gone seven years, CJ.” Lydia said, with a smile. “I know it’s Beacon Hills, but weird stuff still happens.” She pulled out her phone and looked like she was texting her mom. “My mom will pick us up, and take us to your house. We’ll do homework, okay?”

I nodded, really not sure what I had just gotten myself into. I also felt kind of like a backup plan for her, given that Allison couldn’t hang out with her. I really hoped that wasn’t the case. I should have made an excuse for why she couldn’t stay over, but unfortunately I didn’t have one. With my mom being extremely laid back today, I’d probably be able to get away with spending all night in my bed without feeling bad about it.

“I’m gonna go to my locker.” I told her. “There’s a few things I need to get.” Truth was, I didn’t want to enter the class with her. I didn’t really want everyone to know we were related just yet. If she told her friends, that was fine, but the whole school knowing I’m related to someone like Lydia Martin? They’d start pestering me with a whole bunch of questions. Where’s your red hair? or Why aren’t you pretty like her? I really didn’t need that right now.

“Okay, I’ll see you.”

I smiled at her and quickly walked away without trying to make it look like I was relieved to get away. It was overwhelming being around Lydia. The looks I got just from getting out of the same car as her were something to make my face turn red. I took a deep breath, trying not to think about it and arrived at my locker. However, I wasn’t able to get to it.

There was a tall guy standing in front of it, and turning the lock.

I sighed heavily and approached him. “Hey, you’re trying to get into my locker.”

He said something, but I didn’t have a good view of his lips, so I didn’t catch what he had said.
“What?”
The boy looked at me, and pushed up on the handle. “I said, this isn’t your locker.”

I stared at it, dumbfounded. I smacked my hand over my face, covering my eyes. “This is just not my day.”

The boy’s hand met my wrist and pulled my hand away from my face. “Did you hear me?”

I recognized him as the guy who had bumped into one of the twins the other day. I shook my head. “I can’t.” I admitted.

“Really?”

“Have you not heard of the new, deaf girl yet?”

“Honestly?” he questioned. “No. Apparently, some birds flew into an English class a couple days ago. That’s all people are talking about.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “Wait, if you’re deaf, do you sign?”

I gasped, instantly excited to find someone who could talk to me. “Do you sign?” I countered.

“Only a little.” He said and signed, questioningly, hoping he got the signs right.

“That’s right.” I said with a smile. “I didn’t know anyone around here knew how.”

The boy shrugged. “There’s a beginner’s class as an elective. I thought, why not?” He smiled. “I’m D-A-N-N-Y.”

My inner excitement was going crazy. I was more than surprised to meet someone who could sign. “I’m CJ.”

“CJ?” he asked.

I nodded.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Danny signed, then held out his hand for me to shake.

I took the hand. “Thank you. You, too.”

Danny paused then looked back at me. “That’s the bell. Do you need help to your locker?”

I shook my head. “I think I’m just down the wrong hall. I got all turned around. Thanks.” I smiled at him.

“I’ll see you around?”

“Sure, I guess.”

Danny laughed. “Don’t sound so excited.” He held up a hand in farewell and walked away from the lockers.

I checked my phone and quickly remembered Danny said the bell rang. I had to remind myself to set alarms so my phone would vibrate when the bell was supposed to ring. The first part of the day went quickly as I continued to work on my assignments on my own. While the independence was nice, I felt that it might get a little overrated eventually.

During lunch, I didn’t even bother going to the lunchroom. I wasn’t hungry and didn’t want to be around all those people. Instead, I went to the library again, hoping Lydia and Allison wouldn’t find me there like they had yesterday. When I arrived, I saw Lydia’s friend, Stiles, sitting at a table with his laptop out. I approached him, seeing he had a search engine open and was searching ‘how to get through walls’. I furrowed my brow at such a weird search.

“Are you planning on robbing a bank?” I asked, making him jump back and quickly close his laptop. I blushed quickly, wishing I hadn’t snuck up on him. I barely knew this kid.

Stiles looked up at me and laughed nervously. “Uh, no. Not technically.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be nosey. I just - you were here. And I thought - ”

“Hey, it’s okay. That’s just - ” He gestured back to his computer and scoffed. “Some stupid research. For...personal reasons.”

“Okay.” I said, slowly and still unsure. I walked around him to sit across from him at the table. “But, if you really are curious, it matters what kind of wall it is.”

Stiles looked at me confused. “Like drywall or concrete?” He asked, earning a nod from me. “What about something thick, like, say, marble?”

“It’s a wall, right?” I asked, leaning my elbows on the table so I could focus better on what he was saying.

“In this very hypothetical situation, yes. It’s a wall.”

“You could use a saw. A drill could work, too, and it might be easier since saws are harder to control when they have to be that powerful and at that sort of angle. It’d have to be diamond bit though.”

Stiles stared at me, open-mouthed.

“What?” I asked, shrinking back into my seat.

“How… How do you know that?”

I shrugged. “My dad’s a contractor. I’ve spent a lot of time with him at work. He taught me a lot.”

“I get that.” Stiles said, as his phone vibrated on the table. He picked it up and checked it, his eyes widening.
“I guess that means you know a lot about being a cop?”

“Yeah.” He started quickly packing up his things. “I do.”

When I continued to sit there, he looked up at me.

“Look, I, uh, have to go...do something.” Stiles said, pointing to his phone. “I hate to use you for intel and bail, but - ”

I interrupted him. “No, please. I interrupted your lunch. I’m just glad I could help with your very hypothetical problem.”

Stiles quickly started to scramble away, but turned and rushed back. He put his hand on the table, leaning on it slightly. Stiles looked down at me. “Thank you, really.”

I showed him a small smile. “You’re welcome.”

Stiles turned and stumbled away from the table, this time leaving the library. I sat there for just a moment, just thinking about how crazy this day had been already. First, there was Allison with the bolt cutters, and, then, Stiles trying to figure out how to get through a marble wall. What kind of place had a marble wall anyway? I shook my head. That was way too much for me to bother with.

!@#$#@!

Finally, the school day was over. I had found my locker (down the right hallway this time) and packed all that I didn’t need into it. I turned my head, looking down the hall, and seeing Lydia heading towards me. I sighed, preparing myself to see her mother. I was still having a hard time believing that someone who had barely known me, decided that I might need therapy. I didn’t even need counseling while I was losing my hearing. That should tell her that I don’t have depressive moods.

I followed Lydia out of the school and to her mom’s car. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her mom. If I noticed that she was trying to ask me something, I pretended that I didn’t and sat staring out the window. When Aunt Natalie arrived at the house, I got out quickly, passing her a thank you and not letting her say anything in return.

Lydia and I did homework for a while, and then I taught her a few basic signs. Surprisingly enough, she was catching on pretty quickly. Then Lydia told me about how many languages she actually knew, and I understood. She wasn’t just the prettiest girl in school, she was also the smartest. Why did I have to have so many overachievers in my family when I was just me?

Not long after we’d finished our homework, Mom came up to my room and asked us to help her start dinner.

Lydia and I paused our studying and made our way to the kitchen. Unfortunately, my Aunt Natalie was standing in the kitchen, holding a glass of wine.

Lydia was just as surprised to see her as I was. “Mom, what are you doing here?” Lydia signed, looking to me to make sure she was right.

I nodded at her.

Natalie looked to her daughter and smiled. “I’ve been here the whole time. Christina came home around the time I dropped you off and said I should stay for dinner.

Internally, I groaned, but I tried not to show my disgust. Instead, I stared at the door, waiting for my father to come in. Thankfully, he did, just moments later. I stood around the kitchen island with my father, watching as Mom, Natalie and Lydia worked a bit on dinner. I munched on a few pieces of celery Mom cut up for a snack before the meal.

Mom grabbed my attention when she reached over and touched my arm. “Lydia was just telling us that you were teaching her to sign.” She signed at me.

I shrugged. “Just a few things. She asked me to.” I looked over at Lydia who smiled at me.

“That’s so great.” Mom said, with a giant smile.

I nodded sarcastically and looked at the vegetable piece in my hand. I hated moments like this. When Mom and Dad had friends over. They would try their hardest to include me, but I always end up getting left out because they were talking too fast or everyone was talking at the same time.

Mom got my attention again. “Was school okay today?”

I nodded my head from side to side, showing that it was fine.

“Natalie said she picked you and Lydia up from school today. I thought you were going to drive yourself.”

I sighed heavily. “I was going to.”

My father waved at me. “Did it start? Is there something wrong with it?”

I shrugged. “I didn’t try, so I’m not sure.”

Dad furrowed his brow. “What happened?”

“I went to sit in the car and go, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it.” I looked over to my mother and I could tell that she looked pleased.

Mom repeated what I said to my aunt.

I turned to Natalie, reading her lips.

“Maybe since Carter’s death was a car accident, she can’t drive herself. Some sort of depression or anxiety.” My aunt suggested.

I looked at her angrily before turning to my mother, hoping she wasn’t buying that. “Is she serious?”

My mom nodded once, but hesitantly. “You have been distant lately. And not talking, not eating.”

I scoffed. “Maybe because my brother just died.”

“And no one understands that more than us.” Mom signed.

“Yeah, except you and Dad are acting like nothing has happened. Everyone around me is just okay with the fact that Carter’s gone.”

“No one is okay with it.” Dad said. “We all miss Carter.”

“You have been in an incredibly depressive mood ever since you woke up and we told you.” Mom added.

“Why not just send me to therapy? I’m pretty sure that’s what you want anyway.” I stressed. “So think can go back to ‘normal’. Whatever that is around this stupid place.” I looked over at Lydia and Natalie who were sharing confused looks given that they couldn’t understand.

My father shook his head, leaning towards me. “Who said anything about therapy? We’re not putting you in therapy.”

I looked to my mother, pointedly, and then over at my aunt. “Them.” I signed to my dad, turning back to him. “They’re conspiring against me.”

Dad looked over at Mom. “What is she talking about?” He signed, keeping me in the conversation by doing so.

I looked towards Natalie as she put a hand on Lydia’s arm.

“We should go.” Natalie said.

“That might be best.” Dad encouraged.

I watched as Lydia and Natalie left and then turned back to my parents.

“Care to explain?” Dad asked. For some reason he was still including me in the conversation.

Mom shook her head, caught in her scheme. When she spoke, she wasn’t signing to I had to read her lips. “Natalie merely suggested it. You saw her at the cemetery. She was talking and responding to nothing. She’s barely eaten. All she does is sleep.”

“This should be something we discuss.” Dad gestured wildly between himself and my mom. “This has nothing to do with Natalie.”

I could tell he was getting angry. This is not what I wanted. I just wanted Mom to admit the truth. I didn’t want to start a fight between my parents. I shook my head and pushed myself away from the counter. If my family was calling after me, I didn’t care. I hurried out the door and ran, knowing there was only one place that I really wanted to be.