Status: Active
Turbulence
Two
“Why did you have to go?” Ethan’s voice murmurs.
I put my phone on speaker and set it down on the bathroom counter. I open the bottle of makeup remover, and remove every ounce of makeup on my skin. For the last thirty minutes, Ethan and I have been talking about our matches tonight. Now, he’s asking why I even bothered to switch companies. “You know why. You haven’t made things easy on me these last few months.”
“It’s just so different without you here,” Ethan admits. I don’t say anything, so he continues, “How long is your contract?”
“It ends in a year.” I throw the dirty tissues into the trash, pick up my phone, and head back to bed.
“365 days? That’s how long I have to be without you?”
“You do know that you’re the reason I left in the first place?”
There’s a long, exaggerated sigh. “I never thought you’d leave TNA, Charlotte. Your career is here. I know things were rough for a while, but it’ll get better. I’ll talk to my aunt. You can have a newer, better contract written up by the end of the week.”
“It doesn’t work like that, Ethan. I’m going to stick things out here. I don’t think Dixie could conjure up a more appealing contract. We need this time apart, to figure things out. It’ll be good for us both.”
It’s quiet on the other end. While I wait for Ethan to respond, I get comfortable under my blankets. I plan on going straight to sleep as soon as our conversation is over. “Where’s your next location?” He finally asks.
“Washington.”
“For Thursday’s show? I can meet you there, or you could come to Tampa for the weekend,” He suggests. I start to deny him, but he talks over me, “Yeah, I’ll just come to you. We can get dinner and talk it over.”
“Not for Thursday’s show. I’ll be coming home Friday. Do you still have a key? You can come by sometime this weekend. You can bring me anything I’ve left at your house that way.” Ethan reluctantly agrees. I tell him I need to go to bed, so we say our goodbyes and hang up.
This has been mine and Ethan’s first civil conversation since our breakup three months ago. Ethan may seem delirious. He spent all night talking to me like nothing had changed between us.
Our whole breakup was unclear. We were so happy together, but Ethan couldn’t support my dreams like he supported his, and I couldn’t love him more than I love my career. One day, we just snapped. The pressure from our surroundings got to us. We looked at each other and realized that wrestling was our main focus, not each other. That’s when we broke it off.
Somewhere, somehow, things changed. Maybe Ethan wanted to make it seem like something big happened, and that led to my mistreatment. Maybe he didn’t want me to love my career more than him. Maybe our agreement wasn’t as mutual as I thought, and I did break his heart. Whatever the reason, it has led us to this.
I didn’t think I loved him anymore, but hearing him talk to me like this convinces my heart otherwise. I don’t remember ever falling out of love with Ethan. His temper may have led me to love him less, but I’ve still loved him.
I wasn’t lying when I said we should take this time to stay apart. Ethan and I need to live separate lives in order to figure out of we belong together.
I lie in the dark, reviewing tonight’s events in my head. It’s been a big, life changing day. I think of what I’ve done well and wonder what I could have done better.
My match wasn’t bad. It was a fast, clean win. It would qualify as a great debut. Summer and I didn’t bring out the best in each other, and I wish we could have. I know it takes time to build a dynamic like that, but maybe I could’ve done something different or tried harder.
I should have been social. While tonight has been overwhelming, I should’ve tried. When Summer reached out, I should’ve accepted.
How about my call with Ethan? Should I have even called him?
I grab my phone off the nightstand. Social media may be a positive distraction. I open my Twitter first and am pleasantly surprised by what I see. Mick Foley, my all time favorite wrestler, tweeted positively about my match. Gail Kim, one of my closest friends at TNA, also tweeted about my debut. Some of my other friends from TNA tweeted, too.
While my fellow wrestlers seem happy with my debut, nobody else seems to be. My TNA fan base wants me back. The Knockouts division highlights women better than the Divas, they say. While it may be true, there’s nothing I can do now. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it.
I put my phone on speaker and set it down on the bathroom counter. I open the bottle of makeup remover, and remove every ounce of makeup on my skin. For the last thirty minutes, Ethan and I have been talking about our matches tonight. Now, he’s asking why I even bothered to switch companies. “You know why. You haven’t made things easy on me these last few months.”
“It’s just so different without you here,” Ethan admits. I don’t say anything, so he continues, “How long is your contract?”
“It ends in a year.” I throw the dirty tissues into the trash, pick up my phone, and head back to bed.
“365 days? That’s how long I have to be without you?”
“You do know that you’re the reason I left in the first place?”
There’s a long, exaggerated sigh. “I never thought you’d leave TNA, Charlotte. Your career is here. I know things were rough for a while, but it’ll get better. I’ll talk to my aunt. You can have a newer, better contract written up by the end of the week.”
“It doesn’t work like that, Ethan. I’m going to stick things out here. I don’t think Dixie could conjure up a more appealing contract. We need this time apart, to figure things out. It’ll be good for us both.”
It’s quiet on the other end. While I wait for Ethan to respond, I get comfortable under my blankets. I plan on going straight to sleep as soon as our conversation is over. “Where’s your next location?” He finally asks.
“Washington.”
“For Thursday’s show? I can meet you there, or you could come to Tampa for the weekend,” He suggests. I start to deny him, but he talks over me, “Yeah, I’ll just come to you. We can get dinner and talk it over.”
“Not for Thursday’s show. I’ll be coming home Friday. Do you still have a key? You can come by sometime this weekend. You can bring me anything I’ve left at your house that way.” Ethan reluctantly agrees. I tell him I need to go to bed, so we say our goodbyes and hang up.
This has been mine and Ethan’s first civil conversation since our breakup three months ago. Ethan may seem delirious. He spent all night talking to me like nothing had changed between us.
Our whole breakup was unclear. We were so happy together, but Ethan couldn’t support my dreams like he supported his, and I couldn’t love him more than I love my career. One day, we just snapped. The pressure from our surroundings got to us. We looked at each other and realized that wrestling was our main focus, not each other. That’s when we broke it off.
Somewhere, somehow, things changed. Maybe Ethan wanted to make it seem like something big happened, and that led to my mistreatment. Maybe he didn’t want me to love my career more than him. Maybe our agreement wasn’t as mutual as I thought, and I did break his heart. Whatever the reason, it has led us to this.
I didn’t think I loved him anymore, but hearing him talk to me like this convinces my heart otherwise. I don’t remember ever falling out of love with Ethan. His temper may have led me to love him less, but I’ve still loved him.
I wasn’t lying when I said we should take this time to stay apart. Ethan and I need to live separate lives in order to figure out of we belong together.
I lie in the dark, reviewing tonight’s events in my head. It’s been a big, life changing day. I think of what I’ve done well and wonder what I could have done better.
My match wasn’t bad. It was a fast, clean win. It would qualify as a great debut. Summer and I didn’t bring out the best in each other, and I wish we could have. I know it takes time to build a dynamic like that, but maybe I could’ve done something different or tried harder.
I should have been social. While tonight has been overwhelming, I should’ve tried. When Summer reached out, I should’ve accepted.
How about my call with Ethan? Should I have even called him?
I grab my phone off the nightstand. Social media may be a positive distraction. I open my Twitter first and am pleasantly surprised by what I see. Mick Foley, my all time favorite wrestler, tweeted positively about my match. Gail Kim, one of my closest friends at TNA, also tweeted about my debut. Some of my other friends from TNA tweeted, too.
While my fellow wrestlers seem happy with my debut, nobody else seems to be. My TNA fan base wants me back. The Knockouts division highlights women better than the Divas, they say. While it may be true, there’s nothing I can do now. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it.