Status: Active
Break on Me
Capybara
Jax's POV
I watched as the car that had just been driving down the road ignited with flames following the loud boom that shook the ground below my feet. I set my hand down on Piney's shoulder and murmured, "You did the right thing," to him before bending over to help Opie pick up his stuff.
After Clay had been taken into custody yesterday the club had been in complete chaos. We knew a search warrant was imminent after they connected Teller Morrow to the homicide committed by Nate Meinike. With the search warrant looming over our heads, we had to figure out how to hide the remaining guns that we were supposed to be selling- a septic truck was our brilliant plan to keep the ATF off of our trail, and it worked. Because of the news of ATF in charming many of our buyers backed off of getting guns from us, and Clay was not happy.
Now, not only did we need to find someone new to sell our guns to, but we also had to deal with Piney's homicidal war buddies. We had no other choice other than to get rid of them, it was the only answer that Clay would accept, so that's what we did.
It hurt knowing that Piney trusted these men, and these men trusted Piney and now here he was allowing his son to blow them up, for lack of a better term, but it was what needed to be done.
My mind was all over the place, I had not talked to Lilah since she tore me a new one yesterday. I knew everything she said was true, but I could never admit that to her. She needed to think I was an asshole so she would keep her distance. As much as her distance hurt me, I would never be able to live with myself if I knew I was the reason behind her getting hurt.
On the drive back to the garage my mind was still plagued with thoughts of Lilah and I wondered if this would ever go away. I knew her only for a few months, but for some reason, I felt like I had known her my whole life. There was something so pure about her that drove me wild, and left me craving her.
***
Lilah's Point of View
I knock softly on the door, not sure if anyone was even awake yet, not even really knowing what I was doing here- let alone this early. I was up all night wondering why Jax hadn't come after me, after I revealed the pictures to him and as much as I didn't want it to, it bothered me- a lot.
Just as I was about to give up and turn around, Gemma opened the door with a hard look on her face that softened when she realized that it was that was interrupting her Sunday morning.
"Lilah, is everything okay," Gemma asked concern written on her face.
"Yeah I'm sorry to bother you, it's stupid really, I just am having a hard time with something and normally I would talk to my mom about this, but I can't do that anymore and I just thought that maybe you could help me. I'm not sure, I'm really sorry I don't know how I even ended up here-" I couldn't stop the words from coming out of my mouth and I wanted to tell myself to shut up,
"Honey, of course come on in," Gemma said interrupting me and instantly calming my thoughts.
I absent mindedly rubbed the back of my arm in search of some comfort, to brace myself for the awlard conversation I was going to have with Gemma.
Before I could speak Gemma turned and looked at me, "It's Jax isn't it?"
My eyes shot up to look at the older woman standing infront of me in her quiet kitchen.
"How did you know," I asked slightly embarrassed that I hadn't been hiding my emotions as well as I had originally thought.
"I see the looks that you two give eachother whenever you don't think the other is watching, it was starting to break my own heart." She said smiling towards me,
"Gemma, we have never even been on a date, and have only known each other for about four months now, why am I feeling this? I don't want to be feeling this, the things he does, I don't think I can ever be someone's when they cannot be loyal to me," I said feeling the emotions rise up in my chest making my eyes water.
"Baby the heart knows when it finds that thing that it craves the most. All it takes is one taste of it, and you're hooked. Jax is a good boy, he always has been. I am his mother, and I know the game he's playing with you. It's the same one he's playing with his own son, he doesn't think he deserves anything good in his life, so he tries his damnedest to push it all away so he can't hurt it,"
Nodding my head in agreement, I knew deep down that was what he was doing but to have that confirmation from his own mother lifted a weight I hadn't even realized I was carrying.
My heart hurt for Jax, I knew the game he was playing, because it was the same game I played whenever I felt myself letting any walls down.
"Gemma, I know we haven't known eachother for very long but genuinely, I appreciate everything you have done for me," I said looking up at her,
"I would do anything for the woman who makes my son's eyes shine the way they do when he looks at you.
I just put my head down appreciating the words that came out of her mouth. It had been a ong time since I had heard a mother speak so lovingly about their child, and even longer since I had felt that motherly love. Thinking about my mom now left me with a sadness that I don't think could ever be soothed, except by the hands of the woman whose embrace I will never feel again. So much has changed in the last few years and a part of me has forever changed as well. I can no longer be weak, and me taking Jax back without fully trusting him was a sign of weakness.
"Thank you really Gemma," I said slightly defeated knowing that as much as I trusted Gemma and her words, I needed to trust Jax before I could ever fully let him in.
Jax's P.O.V
I stood outside her door for about 30 minutes before I heard movement come from inside the house. The door opened quickly and instead of the gray eyes I was expecting, another set greeted me. This pair eerily similar to Lilah's.
"Can I help you," the man's voice spoke with conviction. Even with chemo still pumping through the man's veins Luke looked intimidating and strong, especially in comparison to his twins small stature.
"I, uh, I'm Jax. I don't think we've actually met yet." I extended my hand hoping he would take the friendly gesture.
He didn't.
"Look I always stay out of Lilah's business, she's a grown woman and can take care of herself, but she is still my sister. I don't know what kind of shit you, Kip, and whoever else involved get into but if any of that blows back onto her you'll have a whole other problem. I may not be 100% right now, but if you or anyone else hurt her I don't care where I'm at, I will protect her with everything I have."
Normally I would take a threat with a grain of salt or just laugh it off but with the fire behind his blue eyes I knew I would listen to this one- not out of fear but out of respect.
"I understand and I hope you know that anger and protectiveness that you're feeling right now over her, I feel it too. I would never intentionally hurt that girl, not even for one fucking second. She is everything good that I need, and I hate that I can't be that good for her too. I know she deserves better than me and what I can offer to her but I promise you that I will give her everything that I have if she lets me."
With a nod of his head, Luke opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a small cough coming from behind me.
Lilah.
I watched as the car that had just been driving down the road ignited with flames following the loud boom that shook the ground below my feet. I set my hand down on Piney's shoulder and murmured, "You did the right thing," to him before bending over to help Opie pick up his stuff.
After Clay had been taken into custody yesterday the club had been in complete chaos. We knew a search warrant was imminent after they connected Teller Morrow to the homicide committed by Nate Meinike. With the search warrant looming over our heads, we had to figure out how to hide the remaining guns that we were supposed to be selling- a septic truck was our brilliant plan to keep the ATF off of our trail, and it worked. Because of the news of ATF in charming many of our buyers backed off of getting guns from us, and Clay was not happy.
Now, not only did we need to find someone new to sell our guns to, but we also had to deal with Piney's homicidal war buddies. We had no other choice other than to get rid of them, it was the only answer that Clay would accept, so that's what we did.
It hurt knowing that Piney trusted these men, and these men trusted Piney and now here he was allowing his son to blow them up, for lack of a better term, but it was what needed to be done.
My mind was all over the place, I had not talked to Lilah since she tore me a new one yesterday. I knew everything she said was true, but I could never admit that to her. She needed to think I was an asshole so she would keep her distance. As much as her distance hurt me, I would never be able to live with myself if I knew I was the reason behind her getting hurt.
On the drive back to the garage my mind was still plagued with thoughts of Lilah and I wondered if this would ever go away. I knew her only for a few months, but for some reason, I felt like I had known her my whole life. There was something so pure about her that drove me wild, and left me craving her.
***
Lilah's Point of View
I knock softly on the door, not sure if anyone was even awake yet, not even really knowing what I was doing here- let alone this early. I was up all night wondering why Jax hadn't come after me, after I revealed the pictures to him and as much as I didn't want it to, it bothered me- a lot.
Just as I was about to give up and turn around, Gemma opened the door with a hard look on her face that softened when she realized that it was that was interrupting her Sunday morning.
"Lilah, is everything okay," Gemma asked concern written on her face.
"Yeah I'm sorry to bother you, it's stupid really, I just am having a hard time with something and normally I would talk to my mom about this, but I can't do that anymore and I just thought that maybe you could help me. I'm not sure, I'm really sorry I don't know how I even ended up here-" I couldn't stop the words from coming out of my mouth and I wanted to tell myself to shut up,
"Honey, of course come on in," Gemma said interrupting me and instantly calming my thoughts.
I absent mindedly rubbed the back of my arm in search of some comfort, to brace myself for the awlard conversation I was going to have with Gemma.
Before I could speak Gemma turned and looked at me, "It's Jax isn't it?"
My eyes shot up to look at the older woman standing infront of me in her quiet kitchen.
"How did you know," I asked slightly embarrassed that I hadn't been hiding my emotions as well as I had originally thought.
"I see the looks that you two give eachother whenever you don't think the other is watching, it was starting to break my own heart." She said smiling towards me,
"Gemma, we have never even been on a date, and have only known each other for about four months now, why am I feeling this? I don't want to be feeling this, the things he does, I don't think I can ever be someone's when they cannot be loyal to me," I said feeling the emotions rise up in my chest making my eyes water.
"Baby the heart knows when it finds that thing that it craves the most. All it takes is one taste of it, and you're hooked. Jax is a good boy, he always has been. I am his mother, and I know the game he's playing with you. It's the same one he's playing with his own son, he doesn't think he deserves anything good in his life, so he tries his damnedest to push it all away so he can't hurt it,"
Nodding my head in agreement, I knew deep down that was what he was doing but to have that confirmation from his own mother lifted a weight I hadn't even realized I was carrying.
My heart hurt for Jax, I knew the game he was playing, because it was the same game I played whenever I felt myself letting any walls down.
"Gemma, I know we haven't known eachother for very long but genuinely, I appreciate everything you have done for me," I said looking up at her,
"I would do anything for the woman who makes my son's eyes shine the way they do when he looks at you.
I just put my head down appreciating the words that came out of her mouth. It had been a ong time since I had heard a mother speak so lovingly about their child, and even longer since I had felt that motherly love. Thinking about my mom now left me with a sadness that I don't think could ever be soothed, except by the hands of the woman whose embrace I will never feel again. So much has changed in the last few years and a part of me has forever changed as well. I can no longer be weak, and me taking Jax back without fully trusting him was a sign of weakness.
"Thank you really Gemma," I said slightly defeated knowing that as much as I trusted Gemma and her words, I needed to trust Jax before I could ever fully let him in.
Jax's P.O.V
I stood outside her door for about 30 minutes before I heard movement come from inside the house. The door opened quickly and instead of the gray eyes I was expecting, another set greeted me. This pair eerily similar to Lilah's.
"Can I help you," the man's voice spoke with conviction. Even with chemo still pumping through the man's veins Luke looked intimidating and strong, especially in comparison to his twins small stature.
"I, uh, I'm Jax. I don't think we've actually met yet." I extended my hand hoping he would take the friendly gesture.
He didn't.
"Look I always stay out of Lilah's business, she's a grown woman and can take care of herself, but she is still my sister. I don't know what kind of shit you, Kip, and whoever else involved get into but if any of that blows back onto her you'll have a whole other problem. I may not be 100% right now, but if you or anyone else hurt her I don't care where I'm at, I will protect her with everything I have."
Normally I would take a threat with a grain of salt or just laugh it off but with the fire behind his blue eyes I knew I would listen to this one- not out of fear but out of respect.
"I understand and I hope you know that anger and protectiveness that you're feeling right now over her, I feel it too. I would never intentionally hurt that girl, not even for one fucking second. She is everything good that I need, and I hate that I can't be that good for her too. I know she deserves better than me and what I can offer to her but I promise you that I will give her everything that I have if she lets me."
With a nod of his head, Luke opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a small cough coming from behind me.
Lilah.