Break on Me

Sitting in the hospital looking into the incubator, or as jax calls it “the toaster,” everything that was clouding his mind became very apparent as to why he was having such a hard time understanding lately.

Abel, his son, was the main cause. Looking at the little baby hooked up to about just every machine imaginable Jax’s heart was broken. There he was, just an innocent soul that was hurting from the wrong actions of his mother and Jax would be damned if he ever let his son down the way his mother did.

The club had changed somehow over the years, and in the beginning he agreed with his step father Clay more than he ever did with his late father JT.

The last few days had been spent sitting with Abel and reading his father’s manuscript that he had found in storage, and it was the most clear his head had been in a long while.

A soft knock interrupted his thoughts and he quickly shoved his reading material into his cut, not really knowing why he was hiding this from his mother, but knew it had to be something that was kept from her.

“Hey baby, just wanted to come by and see if you were still coming to the carnival later?” She said patting him on his shoulder. She sighed, and took in the features of his face. There was something behind his baby blue eyes that she had seen before in her late husband; distrust. A pang in her chest hit her harder than a sack of rocks and she couldn’t even begin to understand why her son was looking at her this way.

The feeling temporarily disappeared when she saw him look toward his son and nodded his head.
“Yeah I have to stop by the shop first though, I haven’t showered in a few days.” Jax said.

“I was wondering what that smell was..”Gemma joked.

Jax laughed and shook his head as they walked out of the room together.

As they stood in the doorway Gemma turned to Jax, “There’s a doc here that owes Teller-Morrow some money so I’m gonna go find them and I’ll just meet you at the carnival” Gemma lied cooly, without even missing a beat.

Jax gave her a nod as a response and let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding when he realized his mother hadn’t seen the papers that were threatening to poke out of his cut.
“Alright, love you baby, see you soon.” Gemma said as she turned down the hallway and pulled the bible out of her bag.

The hot shower relieved all the tension in Jax’s body as he prayed that the water stayed at the temperature it was at. Unfortunately after about 20 minutes the shower ran cold.

Stepping out, and not bothering with a towel, Jax walked into his room.
He was standing at his bed and wiping his face with a stray t-shirt when he heard a gasp come from the doorway.

LILAH’s P.O.V

Somehow “paperwork” as Jax had referred to it, had turned into bar tending, and cleaning, and apparently now laundry. Not that I was complaining much. After the whole incident at the bar I lost my job, and was grateful when Clay and Gemma decided to let me keep the job that Jax had offered.
It had only barely been a week, but the routine had already began to stick. Wake up give Luke his meds and wait for Neeta to come, then go to the shop for 6 hours, and then go home and pass out. I had actually been getting along pretty well with Gemma too and all of the guys, so it helped pass the time. I had barely seen Jax , though, since the night we had our talk and I couldn’t help but feel as though he was ignoring me.

I rolled my eyes as I struggled to carry the basket that was overflowing with towels and sheets and an occasional Reaper tee. I don’t even understand how it’s possible to go through as many sheets as these men do- a small gag threatened its way up into my throat as I put together why the sheets were always on a constant rotation.

Just as I reached the room at the end of the hall I reached into the basket to grab a clean pair of sheets and stopped in my tracks.

An ass. A beautiful ass. Jax Teller’s ass to be specific, was staring me right in my face. My eyes bulged out of the sockets and my face turned redder than a tomato as it normally does when I am embarrassed, when I tore my eyes away from his butt and up to his tan and toned back. A huge tattoo covered his strong features, and was rippling with every movement he made.

The gasp left my lips before I could compose myself and walk away.

He quickly turned around, but smiled when he saw it was me. “Like what you see darlin’?” He asked without even making an effort to cover up.

“Um-I-uh- sheets. I brought you sheets.” I said throwing the sheets onto his bed and making sure my eyes remained on his face, even though they threated to trail down past his waist.

I quickly turned on my heel on grabbed the door knob on my way out. The door shut with a bang which covered up Jax’s chuckle and I could feel my face getting redder by the second.

“I brought you sheets?” I questioned my response and behavior.

No man makes me blush, and I really can’t remember the last time one made me lose my breath like that. Especially one that I didn’t really like. Jax was nice, but there was something about him that I didn’t want to know. There was something that was in him that was just as broken as I was and I was too busy trying to hold myself together to try to understand him. I put my hand on my head and walked down the hallway towards Gemma’s office.

I put the laundry basket down and sat down in the office chair and started to go over the papers that had to be filed for the end of today trying to focus the attention away from the dirty thoughts that riddled my brain.

“You know you didn’t have to leave.” His raspy voice sent a shiver down my spine.
I took a deep breath and gained my composure.

With a stern voice I said, “You know there is a door for a reason. And towels.”

Jax chuckled again, “you think you’re gonna be done in time for the carnival tonight? Gemma was asking about you yesterday. Said you needed to have some fun.” He said now without humor lacing his words.

“I actually have a date tonight.” I said not looking up from the papers on the desk.

I saw him straighten up in the corner of my eye, and smiled to myself when I realized he thought I meant an actual date.

“Neeta’s bringing food to the house for Luke and I. We’re also renting a movie. Kind of a weekend-long extravaganza we have planned.” I said as I watched him relax.

“How is he doing? Half-sack go and see him yet?” He asked as he took a step closer.

To this I looked up finally, I met his blue eyes and a small frown formed on my lips.

“uh no, not yet. But he has been talking to me when he brings the papers so it’s a start I guess right?”

He smiled and put his hand on my shoulder, “he’ll come around.”

I nodded and muttered a small thanks as he turned towards the door.

Feeling confident and ready to get rid of the serious feeling in the air I turned to Jax as he left,
“Hey so it looked like it must have been a little cold in your room earlier, I’ll see if I can turn the AC down for you next time.” I said with a smirk bringing my eyes to his crotch.

This time Jax turned red and stuttered as he left the room, leaving me laughing to myself.

Jax’s Point of View:

My face was still red as I jumped onto my motorcycle, and shook my head. A small smile was on my lips and I drove out of the parking lot towards the carnival ready to get wasted and forget about everything going on with the club. The mayan’s, the rival club that had burned down our warehouse filled with guns we needed to sell within the next week, were on our ass because of our retaliation that took three of their men.

I shook my head and felt myself getting pissed all over again about how reckless the club had become. We always had enemies but very rarely did they come to our town like they were now.

As soon as I got to the carnival and pulled my bike in I felt my mood change as I remembered how much booze was going to be here. All the guys came up to me one by one, Chibs being the one offering me a beer.

The old irish man that I looked up to and had been around since before I can even remember, handed me the drink and patted me on the back.

“Jackie-boy. How are ya, seems like its been a few since I last seen ya.” He said clearly already drunk.

I laughed and grabbed the beer out of his hands, “Just been with the kid. Ready for him to be home.” I said not really sure If I meant it or not. I didn’t know what world I would be bringing him out into.

I looked around to see if Opie was somewhere, and sighed when I saw him fighting with his wife Donna.

I scanned the crowd again but this time I saw my mom walking over and I met her halfway.

“Hey gorgeous.” I said kissing her cheek.

“Your ex junkie wife OD’d in the hospital today.”

The beer was gone before she even finished her sentence, wanting to start my buzz as quick as I could.