Break on Me

Jax fumbled his way up the driveway not quite knowing why or how he got to where he was. Confused and feeling his buzz slightly falter, he looked up at the plain white house that resembled his own, but then realized by the way there were flowers scattering the front lawn that this was not his. He looked over at the driveway trying to piece together where he was when he saw the familiar car parked inside the open garage.

He smiled to himself while trying to gain his composure and found his way to the front door, not pausing before he knocked repeatedly with an urgent force.

After Gemma had told Jax about Wendy’s OD shit just seemed to hit the fan. Osewald, a prominent business man from charming, had lost his daughter during the night and she was found in the woods about a quarter mile away from where they all were, beaten and stripped of her innocence. Jax’s anger got to the best of him, and he ended up getting more drunk than he had originally planned, and after he already was on the verge of passing out Lilah’s face popped up in his mind, and now here he was.

The door swung open interrupting his thoughts, and Lilah’s small frame stood in the dimly lit door way.

“Well hello darling I was just in the neighborhood and I figured I would come by and check in on your da-,” Jax’s joke was cut short when he took in the appearance of the girl in front of him. Her bright blue eyes heavy and bloodshot, her tan and bright face now a pale sickly color.
“Jesus Lilah, what’s wrong?” Jax made his way inside not even bothering to ask if it was alright. His hands went on either sides of her cheeks and he stared down at her, his drunken stupor evaporating at the sight in front of him.

Her voice, he noted from the first time he met her although soft was always at the same time strong and confident, but as she opened her mouth to speak the words that came out were fragile and shaky.

His heart broke as he realized that he could physically see and hear all of the pain that she was carrying inside of her.

“Luke spiked a fever of 103, and they wouldn’t let me stay in the hospital because it could be a virus and I could be carrying it, but they also think it-it might be an infection and I don’t know what to do Jax. He’s all alone, and I-I-I am too,” her words were jumbled and her sentences were all fumbled together, but the sobs that came after were enough to bring a tear to Jax’s own eyes.
His arms instinctively wrapped around her body and he could feel her entire frame shaking. Her breath became short and was replaced by a hiccupping sound.

“Lilah, babe, I am so sorry,” his hands now soothingly rubbing her back, “but I need you to breathe, and try to calm down a little bit,” realizing that his words were having little impact on her he scooped her up from her legs and carried her down the hall towards the bathroom.
She sat on the toilet as he turned on the shower, and didn’t stop him as he picked her up once again and brought her into the water with him, both fully clothed.

Hugging her from behind he slowly sank them to the bottom of the tub and let the warm water try to soothe the panic attack that was rippling through Lilah’s body. As her sobs lessened and her tense body relaxed, Jax couldn’t help but let a few silent tears escape his own eyes in the safety of the shower. He was losing his mind, everything with Osewald’s daughter, Abel, the Mayans, the ATF, and Wendy was all too much, and he didn’t know how he was going to handle all of it. Somehow seeing Lilah in just as much pain as him made him in a sick and twisted way feel relieved. Knowing that somebody as good and pure as her could have all this shit, made him feel that maybe he wasn’t being punished for all of his sins.

“Jax, I am so sorry,” her voice rang through the running water, still quiet, but with a little bit more strength to it than before. This statement caused even more tears to fall from his eyes now.

“You don’t ever have to apologize to me-,” his sentence was cut short as her soft lips crashed on his own. He had wondered how it would feel to be kissing her, but he never imagined that it would feel this good. His hands went straight to her ass, and her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. Not even bothering to shut off the shower he lifted her up again without breaking their kiss and carried her to the room at the end of the hall.

Placing her gently on her back her blue eyes were now a dark and stormy grey laced with passion, and he was sure his own looked quite similar. His hands greedily went to her soaking shirt and lifted it off of her in an instant. Her small hands traveled to his back as she lifted his off with ease.

They both stared at each other for what felt like an eternity and Jax paused trying to read her face for any signs of hesitation.

Instead of stopping she just reached out and undid his pants as she let the drop to the floor, this caught Jax off guard and sent him into a frenzy. The kisses that started out as sweet and careful, were now hasty and filled with passion and every emotion he had been holding in for what felt like years. Lilah met every movement of his, and pulled him down so he was now hovering on top of her.
Not able to wait any longer, Jax tore her pants off and took in her body that was still wet from the shower. His body raged with lust as he removed any more clothing either of them were still wearing. Pushing inside of her, he forgot every last problem that he had. Nothing had ever felt so good and so right before.

Jax's eyes slowly opened as the sun made its way through the drawn curtains. For a split second Jax had forgotten where he was but as he looked over he saw Lilah sprawled out on the bed next to him. Before he could enjoy this moment, he heard his phone go off in the other room. Sighing he got out of bed and grabbed his pants off the floor that were still damp from the night before.

Shutting off the sound of his phone he made his way back to the sleeping girl, quietly, not wanting to wake her. He grabbed the rest of his clothes off the floor, and then made his way towards her. Brushing her hair out of her face, he gently kissed her forhead as her eyes slowly fluttered open.
"Got some club business, but go back to sleep darlin, its still early,"Jax said as she nodded her head and closed her eyes once again.

He knew that their actions from the night before would have heavy consequences on their already complicated relationship but he didn't regret one second, as he climbed onto his bike he sighed knowing that the girl inside would always be too good for him and if he was even half decent he would keep her as far away from club shit as he could.

"Nice of you to join us VP," the sound of Clay's low and passive aggressive voice was the last thing that Jax wanted to hear.

"Had shit I had to do," Jax stated back while he grabbed a beer off the bar, and made his way into the back room joining the rest of his brothers.

"Shit you had to do, or another whore you had to do?" Now Clay was pushing it.

"Shut your mouth you have no idea what you're talking about, you wanted me here I'm here so let's do this," Jax said angrily.

"Alright brothers, we had a little girl attacked on our home soil. Gemma found out from Osewald's daughter that it was one of the carny pricks, so we take care of that tonight," Clay said with a smack of his gravel.

Bobby came over to Jax as he finished his beer, and put a hand on his back,"You've been second guessing Clay ever since your boy was born – the club's been picking up on it. You've gotta get right with that" he said in a low whisper.

Jax knew he was right, but he wasn't sure if it was something that he could get right with anymore.