I Can’t Make You Love Me

“So, how was your first VMAs?” Jared asked a while later as he and Jaelyn stood outside, waiting for the crowd to thin. They were leaning against one of the columns that ringed the Forum, shielded from the view of the crowd. A light drizzle had begun to fall and Jaelyn was watching the rings made by the droplets as they hit the slightly flooded ground.

“It was good, but a little bit...too much like a comedy show,” she admitted.

One side of Jared’s mouth pulled up and he said, thoroughly amused, “It took me over a year to realize that award shows are really just comedy shows. I’m impressed.”

“So they’re all like that?”

“Pretty much. It’s still enjoyable, but you expect it to be a much more glamorous thing than it actually is. And it’s definitely worth the people you get to see.”

Jared’s eyes drifted up to the lamp that was screwed into the side of the column. It was exceptionally bright in the late evening and bugs were fluttering around it. While Jaelyn was silent, he imagined he could actually hear the faint buzz of their wings.

“Are you a big people watcher?” Jaelyn asked, glancing briefly at Jared.

At her questioning gaze, he found himself unable to look away. Jaelyn surreptitiously brushed a hand over her cheek, like there might be something on her face. However, Jared wasn’t seeing something on her face. He was seeing her face in general, the way it looked so stunning as she looked shyly up at him, her hair falling in her face and her pale, gray eyes curious and captivating.

“Usually,” Jared said after a time. “Especially celebrities.”

“I’d point out that you’re a celebrity,” said Jaelyn thoughtfully, “but you’re not really like any celebrity I know.”

“In what way?”

“Well, your car, for one thing.” Jared chuckled. “Your work ethic, for another.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Are you calling me lazy?”

“No, of course not! I mean, you go about your work so differently. You don’t take roles just because they’re in movies you know are going to be super-popular. You pick roles because you see something in the characters that attracts you. And, you know, your insane thing with diving so completely into your roles.”

“It’s not insane,” said Jared, slightly offended.

Jaelyn was quiet for a moment, then she continued, “It is insane. You, Matt Damon, Heath Ledger, all insane. The way you can let your roles take you over so completely. It’s impressive, but...one day you could go too far. Matt Damon got gout losing weight for a role. Heath Ledger died.”

Jared was quiet for a long time, leaning against the column with his arms crossed over his chest. He had met Heath Ledger a few times before he died, and he had been a pretty nice guy. A bit odd. Always...talking about his next role. Jared frowned and wondered if that was how people thought of him.

A scream erupted from nearby, somewhere in the crowd of paparazzi, and Jared looked in that direction. “Probably a fan,” he muttered.

“They live for this stuff,” Jaelyn quietly agreed.

“It’s how I’ve always done things,” said Jared then, still looking out into the night.

“What is?”

“Living inside my characters. Letting them consume me. Ever since I first started acting, that was how I did it. If I come out of character, I might lose it.”

“But what about your real life?” Jaelyn insisted. “What about your family, girlfriends, regular friends? What do they do while you’re...someone else?”

Jared blinked several times, as though he had never really thought about it before. “Well...my family understands. I’ve gotten into a couple of fights with Shannon about canceling tours over it, but those aren’t serious.”

“Maybe not to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, sometimes a fight doesn’t seem like a big deal to one participant, but it is to the other.”

Jared considered this for a moment. His arguments with Shannon, usually beginning with Shannon saying something like, “Your acting isn’t more important than the band!” and Jared promising to give one-hundred and ten percent during the next tour, were always short and fairly mild. It hadn’t occurred to him that he had always gotten his way and Shannon might still have some resentment about it. But Jaelyn’s calm reasoning made him really think about it. And she had mentioned his past girlfriends...several had broken up with him after an acting stint, but they usually said it was because of them. That they weren’t...

“Weren’t ready for someone as committed as me,” breathed Jared softly, letting his head smack lightly against the column. “Of course. I can’t believe I didn’t realize this before.”

“It’s okay,” said Jaelyn, reaching out and laying a hand on Jared’s arm. She seemed to rethink her action, though, and quickly pulled it back. “You’re a man. Being observational isn’t expected of you.” Jared cocked an eyebrow, fighting a smile, and Jaelyn laughed. The sound made him lose the battle against the smile. “I’m teasing. You’re just dedicated to your craft. There’s nothing wrong with that, but you might want to consider coming up for air every now and then. I’m sure you’d be able to find your character again.”

“I’m not so sure.”

“Trust me.”

“I’m not even sure why I told you all that,” he said truthfully. Most of that stuff he’d never told anyone, especially not women he had just met and was trying to win over. Life revelations were rarely romantic.

“I just have one of those faces. People tell me their secrets all the time.”

“I believe you,” said Jared with a smile. He sighed and looked back over at the crowd. It had thinned considerably. “Shall we attempt the journey to the car?”

Jaelyn’s light eyes sought the parking lot and she nodded. “Alright. But don’t try anything in front of the cameras just because we had this little intimate moment,” she added, her tone light and teasing.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Jared chuckled, putting a hand on her back and leading the way toward the ramp that led to the parking lot.