Status: Work in Progress
Chasing Second Chances
Bad Memories
Would I swallow the blade and slowly choke on my blood?
No.
I’m not fond of drowning.
Slowly cut off pieces of my face?
I’m being cremated anyways.
Slit my throat?
Well, that is always an option.
Just like the movies, make a dramatic statement, and then do it.
Or, I could take one of my blades and stab it into my arm.
Sever the artery, make it impossible to fix.
And then, I lay there in bliss as my blood slowly drains from my body.
It will give me time to feel, time to forgive myself.
“Ella!”
“Huh?” A light smile was spread across my face at the image in my mind. “Sorry, I was lost in thought.”
Tristan looked confused as I chuckled lightly.
“And what were you thinking about?”
“Nothing you need to worry about.”
“Actually,” He brought his face close, staring into my eyes. “it is.”
“Dude, you have no idea what personal space is do you?” Nonchalantly I hopped down from the stool and walked into the living room. “Don’t you have a girlfriend or family you can go harass or something?”
“Nope.”
“So, you’re just going to continue to live in my house and not tell me about yourself?”
“That would be the plan.”
I should be getting paid for this.
It’s like babysitting a child.
A terribly immature child.
“El.”
The room seemed to blur as my mind went back in time, displaying a memory before my eyes that I had long ago locked away.
“El, you’re so embarrassing! Can’t you just leave me alone!?”
I watched in horror as my older sister shunned me.
“Yeah loser, get out of here.”
“I don’t understand how you two are even related. I mean, you’re so pretty and she’s, not.”
“Yeah! And she’s such a little freak.”
Laura crossed her arms, pretending to pout. “You have no idea guys. My life is so terrible with her around. Even my mom thinks so.”
“Stop! Why are you saying those things LaLa?”
“Oh look! Is the little freak gonna cry?”
“Stop, stop it.” The first tear streamed down my face. “Please.”
Laura stayed behind as the others walked off. “You’re so worthless Ella, why don’t you just die already?”
“Whoa! Hey Ella, what’s going on?” Tristan grabbed onto my shoulders, scanning my face. “You just got really pale, are you feeling alright?”
“I’m fine Tristan.” Gently I pushed him away before sitting on the couch. “Just, some bad memories.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No I don’t want to talk about it.” An awkward silence filled the room at my bitter tone. “So, how’d the car accident happen?”
“Pardon?”
The confusion on his face had me second guessing my question. “The scar on your chest, you said it was an accident, I just assumed.”
“Oh, that.” His eyes glanced down at his feet. “It was just a normal car accident I guess. Bad weather, two cars collide, not much to tell.”
What I wouldn’t give to be in a car accident right now.
“Was it rain? Or snow?”
“I don’t really remember, it was a long time ago.”
“How do you-”
“Let’s jus talk about something else okay? I don’t like talking about my past.”
My curiosity for Dr. Turner continued to grow, much to my dismay.
So many secrets.
So many lies.
“Don’t think too much into El, it’s not worth it.”
Again our eyes met. “Fine.”
“Good.” A smile flickered across his face. “I have a surprise for you!”
“A surprise?” My insides squirmed at the news.
I don’t like surprises.
“Should be here shortly.”
“Listen, Tristan, I don’t like surprises. Whatever it is, just send it back.”
“Afraid I can’t do that. It would be rude.”
My hands began to knot themselves together. “Then, just tell me what it is.”
“Maybe if you guess.”
“I’m not guessing.”
“And I’m not telling you.”
An uneasy feeling sunk into my stomach.
This isn’t good.
This isn’t good!
Something bad is going to happen.
I should leave.
Get out of here before the ‘surprise’ shows up.
Oh god.
What if the surprise is the psych ward?
What if he’s brought them here to take me away?
No!
It’s not going to happen!
I have to leave, I have to get out of here.
Quickly I ran to the door, flinging it open, ready to run for my life, but, something stopped me in my tracks.
“Surprise!”
“Hey El.”
The familiar face smiled at me shyly.
“L-LaLa?”
No.
I’m not fond of drowning.
Slowly cut off pieces of my face?
I’m being cremated anyways.
Slit my throat?
Well, that is always an option.
Just like the movies, make a dramatic statement, and then do it.
Or, I could take one of my blades and stab it into my arm.
Sever the artery, make it impossible to fix.
And then, I lay there in bliss as my blood slowly drains from my body.
It will give me time to feel, time to forgive myself.
“Ella!”
“Huh?” A light smile was spread across my face at the image in my mind. “Sorry, I was lost in thought.”
Tristan looked confused as I chuckled lightly.
“And what were you thinking about?”
“Nothing you need to worry about.”
“Actually,” He brought his face close, staring into my eyes. “it is.”
“Dude, you have no idea what personal space is do you?” Nonchalantly I hopped down from the stool and walked into the living room. “Don’t you have a girlfriend or family you can go harass or something?”
“Nope.”
“So, you’re just going to continue to live in my house and not tell me about yourself?”
“That would be the plan.”
I should be getting paid for this.
It’s like babysitting a child.
A terribly immature child.
“El.”
The room seemed to blur as my mind went back in time, displaying a memory before my eyes that I had long ago locked away.
“El, you’re so embarrassing! Can’t you just leave me alone!?”
I watched in horror as my older sister shunned me.
“Yeah loser, get out of here.”
“I don’t understand how you two are even related. I mean, you’re so pretty and she’s, not.”
“Yeah! And she’s such a little freak.”
Laura crossed her arms, pretending to pout. “You have no idea guys. My life is so terrible with her around. Even my mom thinks so.”
“Stop! Why are you saying those things LaLa?”
“Oh look! Is the little freak gonna cry?”
“Stop, stop it.” The first tear streamed down my face. “Please.”
Laura stayed behind as the others walked off. “You’re so worthless Ella, why don’t you just die already?”
“Whoa! Hey Ella, what’s going on?” Tristan grabbed onto my shoulders, scanning my face. “You just got really pale, are you feeling alright?”
“I’m fine Tristan.” Gently I pushed him away before sitting on the couch. “Just, some bad memories.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No I don’t want to talk about it.” An awkward silence filled the room at my bitter tone. “So, how’d the car accident happen?”
“Pardon?”
The confusion on his face had me second guessing my question. “The scar on your chest, you said it was an accident, I just assumed.”
“Oh, that.” His eyes glanced down at his feet. “It was just a normal car accident I guess. Bad weather, two cars collide, not much to tell.”
What I wouldn’t give to be in a car accident right now.
“Was it rain? Or snow?”
“I don’t really remember, it was a long time ago.”
“How do you-”
“Let’s jus talk about something else okay? I don’t like talking about my past.”
My curiosity for Dr. Turner continued to grow, much to my dismay.
So many secrets.
So many lies.
“Don’t think too much into El, it’s not worth it.”
Again our eyes met. “Fine.”
“Good.” A smile flickered across his face. “I have a surprise for you!”
“A surprise?” My insides squirmed at the news.
I don’t like surprises.
“Should be here shortly.”
“Listen, Tristan, I don’t like surprises. Whatever it is, just send it back.”
“Afraid I can’t do that. It would be rude.”
My hands began to knot themselves together. “Then, just tell me what it is.”
“Maybe if you guess.”
“I’m not guessing.”
“And I’m not telling you.”
An uneasy feeling sunk into my stomach.
This isn’t good.
This isn’t good!
Something bad is going to happen.
I should leave.
Get out of here before the ‘surprise’ shows up.
Oh god.
What if the surprise is the psych ward?
What if he’s brought them here to take me away?
No!
It’s not going to happen!
I have to leave, I have to get out of here.
Quickly I ran to the door, flinging it open, ready to run for my life, but, something stopped me in my tracks.
“Surprise!”
“Hey El.”
The familiar face smiled at me shyly.
“L-LaLa?”