We Can Only Pretend for So Long
Little Miss
Screaming I hugged him as tightly as possible.
The screaming subsided to laughter as I watched everything zoom past.
Then, came the headache as we snapped back towards the bridge.
“Are you crazy!? Are you trying to kill yourself!?”
“You’re the one who jumped off the bridge without a bungee cord!
You’re lucky I have a hold of your dumbass! Did you really think I would commit suicide!?
Why were you following me anyways?”
“I called your name like fifty times! You were acting funny so I followed you.”
“And you just happened to miss the whole part where people got me ready for a bungee jump?”
“Sir! Are you alright!? Just go ahead and jump into the water now, we’ll come get you!”
The men in the boat paddled furiously to get to us.
“Let go.”
Jacob’s words pulled an instant reaction.
I shrugged and let go, watching him dive into the water.
My eyes watched and waited for him to get to the boat before I undid the harness and dropped to the water.
Jacob’s eyes seemed to bug out of his head as he realized the situation at hand.
Quickly he dove back into the water towards me, yelling to the men in the boat that I couldn’t swim.
I watched him get closer as I sunk lower.
No anxious feelings or paranoia overcame me, just a smile, bliss of being held and caressed by the water mother earth graced me with.
I waited for him to get closer before I kicked my way to the surface.
Wiping the hair and water from my face I looked at the yet again stunned Jacob.
“A rescue mission twice in one day? I think someone still has feelings for me.”
I couldn’t care less if I hurt his feelings.
He’s hurt mine enough for the rest of my life.
“I’m not paying for him, he was trying to commit suicide.”
“I was trying to commit suicide!? Why would you lie to people like that? Stupid. I thought she was trying to commit suicide, it’s why I followed her.”
“Listen guys, I don’t really care about your fight or why you followed each other. Don’t ever do that again. Also, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t tell the police about this.”
I feel like this bungee thing is about to get me in trouble.
“Pull the boat to the shore Kennedy, you and your friends are going downtown with me.”
There’s seriously a cop waiting for us, to take us to jail.
Every time Jacob’s involved I get in trouble!
“Excuse me officer, Redmond. Is there a problem?”
If I’m sweet enough I won’t be arrested right?
“It’s illegal to bungee off of this bridge little miss.”
“Well, how were we to know?”
Glancing up he pointed to a sign on the edge of the bridge. “There’s a sign that clearly states it.”
“Who says I can read?”
“You just read his name tag you dip.”
“Shut up Pelter. If it’s illegal than why is there a guy offering people a chance to bungee?”
“Little miss, you can keep arguing all you want to, you’re still going downtown with me.”
______________
“You get one phone call, your bail will be five hundred.”
“Five hundred!? Ridiculous! . . . . . . I’ll just sit in the jail cell.”
“Are you sure little miss? Don’t want to call any relatives or friends to come get you?”
“Don’t have any. Can I get one by myself? I’m not good with people.”
Officer Redmond stared at me for a moment before glancing over at Jacob.
“You two will have to share a cell, we don’t have the room right now.”
“Perfect.”
“Or you can sit in a cell with the drunk guy, the supposed rapist, or any of the other lovely contestants of today’s catch.”
“I think sitting with this guy is fine thank you. I won’t bother you anymore sir.
Sorry for annoying you.”
Note to self, don’t tempt police officer.
“You gonna make a call boy?”
Boy?
Harsh.
At least I get called little miss.
“Yes sir. Where’s the phone?”
I watched Jacob head to the phone before Redmond escorted me to an empty cell.
“Now you’re positive you don’t want to make a call?
I feel it would be in your best interest.”
“No sir, I don’t think my brother would come get me anyways.
Are there any blankets? It’s getting a little chilly.”
“There should be one under the pillow.”
Should I be worried a cop just jumped by the sudden presence of a stupid boy?
“My brother should be here shortly.”
I feel like someone’s staring at me.
Just, don’t look. It’ll be cool.
No police man! Don’t leave!!
Shit.
“Hey princess. Looks like we’re neighbors.”
I’m assuming that’s the supposed rapist right?
“Be a good neighbor and come give me some lovin.”
Jacob’s body suddenly sat between myself and the other cell.
Why are people so intimidated by him?
“I feel like you should have told your brother to take his time.”
Jacob glanced down his nose at me, apparently not that interested in the sound of my voice.
“Are you really that mad that I bungee jumped?
It’s your fault that you followed me.”
“I was trying to save your stupid ass. I thought you were going to kill yourself.”
“What the hell does it matter to you anyways Pelter?
I off myself, you’ll have one less nuisance in your life.”
“Hey look girlie, I’ve tried killing myself before too! We have so much in common.”
“Please Wilson, you know we have a fucked up friendship.
I saved you when you were about to drown didn’t I?”
The guy in the cell to my right continued to hold out his wrist, attempting to show his scars.
“See.”
“Get back to your bed, she’s not interested.”
“Oh, okay.”
“You consider us some type of friend? Who does what you do to a friend?”
“You’re free to go Jacob, brother made bail.”
Shit.
As Jacob exited the cell, I could feel the eyes turn towards me.
This is going to be a long night.
Why are there no other chicks here?
That guy is trying to talk to me again.
I wonder if I ignore them, if they’ll leave me alone.
“Little miss, you’re free to go as well.”
“What? But I didn’t call anyone.”
“Don’t leave little momma, we like you.”
“Yeah alright, let’s go.”
Let’s just never go to jail again, sounds good to me.
God, I had no idea we had so many people like that in this town.
“You owe me five hundred bucks.”
“…..What?”
“That’s the fella that bailed you out. Now come on, I’ll take you all to the front doors.”
“So if I see you around can I wave at you? Or is that not allowed?”
“Sweetie, if you want to come up and talk to me you’re more than welcome.”
Aw, I like him.
“Trying to pick up police officers?”
What!? He’s like, fifty!
“Are you two fighting or something?”
Ha, Jay still doesn’t know does he?
“You two are dating?”
Ugh, now officer Redmond thinks we’re together.
“Can we go home now?”
The only thing Jacob’s snap did was amuse the police officer.
He jumps by him walking up to him, but he’s amused by his anger
Is this normal?
I feel I should be worried by this.
“Calm down pms, we’re leaving. By officer Redmond, nice meeting you.”
“He arrested you, and you’re telling him ‘nice to meet you’?”
“OOOhhhh, I get it.” The bantering stopped for a slight moment as we awaited an answer.
“Get what?”
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head Kyle, I’ll explain everything later.
Don’t forget to come say hi next time you see me.”
I don’t know who was more curious, myself, or the idiot brothers.
“You know he’s going to rape you right?”
“What the hell is wrong with your thought process Pelter?”
“Seriously, are you guys fighting or what?”
“Dude, we’re not going out, we never were.”
I could practically hear the wheels turning in Jay’s head.
“What?”
“It was a joke Jay. We were getting back at everyone for making us stay at the cottage.”
“I expected this from you, but Ky, never, I never would have thought you would be in on this. You used to be so innocent.”
“I’m still innocent!”
“Jacob just bailed you out of jail. That‘s not being very innocent to me.” Touché. “And why wasn’t I in on this scheme?”
“Because you have a big mouth. You would have blurted it out.”
Instinctively I punched Jacob in the side. “Be nice.”
“Bite me.”
“You wish-”
“If you’re not going out why are you still flirting like middle schoolers?”
A deathly silence seeped through the air.
“No one is flirting. You obviously don’t know hatred when you see it. I’ll walk home from here thank you.”
“You can’t walk home from here, someone will try to kidnap you.”
“I’m a grown ass woman, I can take care of myself.”
Suddenly gravity ceased to exist, until I hit Jacob’s shoulder.
“Put me down!”
My eyes scanned the lot, hoping someone would be going to the their squad car.
“Officer Redmond! Help! They’re kidnapping me!”
“Thought you were a grown ass woman.” Jacob sneered.
“Officer Redmond!”
Our eyes locked, he paused at his car door, and suddenly began to chuckle before continuing on his way.
…………He just watched me get kidnapped!
He did nothing!
He’s not even about to follow the car!
“Your new boyfriend just let you get kidnapped.”
“I will kill you, don’t tempt me.”
“Try it, you’re too weak.”
I am so sick of hearing him say that.
My eyes squinted as I pondered over scenarios.
Of course I’m too weak, I don’t do every sport imaginable.
I wonder if I could get him arrested….
Probably not.
I could poison his food.
Or!
“I will go to the mountains to train with a master karate dude, and come back within a years time to fight you.”
“Please, you wouldn’t last in the mountains. And it’s not karate dude, it’s instructor. How dumb are you?”
“Don’t call me dumb douche.”
Jay’s hand began to wave in the air.
“Jay, what the hell are you doing?”
“Distracting you.”
“………………….why?”
“Because I’m sick of listening to you guys flirt. It’s really annoying me.”
I’ll kill him too.
Maybe not while he’s driving.
I personally do not want to die.
“Dude, you’re gonna piss me off. Stop talking and just drive.”
So what is this?
Everyone is all fine and dandy now?
Just hunky dorey?
I don’t understand what’s going on.
I don’t want to be friends with him, but I also don’t want to hate him.
Well, I suppose I really can’t hate him.
No matter how much I would have wanted to.
The screaming subsided to laughter as I watched everything zoom past.
Then, came the headache as we snapped back towards the bridge.
“Are you crazy!? Are you trying to kill yourself!?”
“You’re the one who jumped off the bridge without a bungee cord!
You’re lucky I have a hold of your dumbass! Did you really think I would commit suicide!?
Why were you following me anyways?”
“I called your name like fifty times! You were acting funny so I followed you.”
“And you just happened to miss the whole part where people got me ready for a bungee jump?”
“Sir! Are you alright!? Just go ahead and jump into the water now, we’ll come get you!”
The men in the boat paddled furiously to get to us.
“Let go.”
Jacob’s words pulled an instant reaction.
I shrugged and let go, watching him dive into the water.
My eyes watched and waited for him to get to the boat before I undid the harness and dropped to the water.
Jacob’s eyes seemed to bug out of his head as he realized the situation at hand.
Quickly he dove back into the water towards me, yelling to the men in the boat that I couldn’t swim.
I watched him get closer as I sunk lower.
No anxious feelings or paranoia overcame me, just a smile, bliss of being held and caressed by the water mother earth graced me with.
I waited for him to get closer before I kicked my way to the surface.
Wiping the hair and water from my face I looked at the yet again stunned Jacob.
“A rescue mission twice in one day? I think someone still has feelings for me.”
I couldn’t care less if I hurt his feelings.
He’s hurt mine enough for the rest of my life.
“I’m not paying for him, he was trying to commit suicide.”
“I was trying to commit suicide!? Why would you lie to people like that? Stupid. I thought she was trying to commit suicide, it’s why I followed her.”
“Listen guys, I don’t really care about your fight or why you followed each other. Don’t ever do that again. Also, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t tell the police about this.”
I feel like this bungee thing is about to get me in trouble.
“Pull the boat to the shore Kennedy, you and your friends are going downtown with me.”
There’s seriously a cop waiting for us, to take us to jail.
Every time Jacob’s involved I get in trouble!
“Excuse me officer, Redmond. Is there a problem?”
If I’m sweet enough I won’t be arrested right?
“It’s illegal to bungee off of this bridge little miss.”
“Well, how were we to know?”
Glancing up he pointed to a sign on the edge of the bridge. “There’s a sign that clearly states it.”
“Who says I can read?”
“You just read his name tag you dip.”
“Shut up Pelter. If it’s illegal than why is there a guy offering people a chance to bungee?”
“Little miss, you can keep arguing all you want to, you’re still going downtown with me.”
______________
“You get one phone call, your bail will be five hundred.”
“Five hundred!? Ridiculous! . . . . . . I’ll just sit in the jail cell.”
“Are you sure little miss? Don’t want to call any relatives or friends to come get you?”
“Don’t have any. Can I get one by myself? I’m not good with people.”
Officer Redmond stared at me for a moment before glancing over at Jacob.
“You two will have to share a cell, we don’t have the room right now.”
“Perfect.”
“Or you can sit in a cell with the drunk guy, the supposed rapist, or any of the other lovely contestants of today’s catch.”
“I think sitting with this guy is fine thank you. I won’t bother you anymore sir.
Sorry for annoying you.”
Note to self, don’t tempt police officer.
“You gonna make a call boy?”
Boy?
Harsh.
At least I get called little miss.
“Yes sir. Where’s the phone?”
I watched Jacob head to the phone before Redmond escorted me to an empty cell.
“Now you’re positive you don’t want to make a call?
I feel it would be in your best interest.”
“No sir, I don’t think my brother would come get me anyways.
Are there any blankets? It’s getting a little chilly.”
“There should be one under the pillow.”
Should I be worried a cop just jumped by the sudden presence of a stupid boy?
“My brother should be here shortly.”
I feel like someone’s staring at me.
Just, don’t look. It’ll be cool.
No police man! Don’t leave!!
Shit.
“Hey princess. Looks like we’re neighbors.”
I’m assuming that’s the supposed rapist right?
“Be a good neighbor and come give me some lovin.”
Jacob’s body suddenly sat between myself and the other cell.
Why are people so intimidated by him?
“I feel like you should have told your brother to take his time.”
Jacob glanced down his nose at me, apparently not that interested in the sound of my voice.
“Are you really that mad that I bungee jumped?
It’s your fault that you followed me.”
“I was trying to save your stupid ass. I thought you were going to kill yourself.”
“What the hell does it matter to you anyways Pelter?
I off myself, you’ll have one less nuisance in your life.”
“Hey look girlie, I’ve tried killing myself before too! We have so much in common.”
“Please Wilson, you know we have a fucked up friendship.
I saved you when you were about to drown didn’t I?”
The guy in the cell to my right continued to hold out his wrist, attempting to show his scars.
“See.”
“Get back to your bed, she’s not interested.”
“Oh, okay.”
“You consider us some type of friend? Who does what you do to a friend?”
“You’re free to go Jacob, brother made bail.”
Shit.
As Jacob exited the cell, I could feel the eyes turn towards me.
This is going to be a long night.
Why are there no other chicks here?
That guy is trying to talk to me again.
I wonder if I ignore them, if they’ll leave me alone.
“Little miss, you’re free to go as well.”
“What? But I didn’t call anyone.”
“Don’t leave little momma, we like you.”
“Yeah alright, let’s go.”
Let’s just never go to jail again, sounds good to me.
God, I had no idea we had so many people like that in this town.
“You owe me five hundred bucks.”
“…..What?”
“That’s the fella that bailed you out. Now come on, I’ll take you all to the front doors.”
“So if I see you around can I wave at you? Or is that not allowed?”
“Sweetie, if you want to come up and talk to me you’re more than welcome.”
Aw, I like him.
“Trying to pick up police officers?”
What!? He’s like, fifty!
“Are you two fighting or something?”
Ha, Jay still doesn’t know does he?
“You two are dating?”
Ugh, now officer Redmond thinks we’re together.
“Can we go home now?”
The only thing Jacob’s snap did was amuse the police officer.
He jumps by him walking up to him, but he’s amused by his anger
Is this normal?
I feel I should be worried by this.
“Calm down pms, we’re leaving. By officer Redmond, nice meeting you.”
“He arrested you, and you’re telling him ‘nice to meet you’?”
“OOOhhhh, I get it.” The bantering stopped for a slight moment as we awaited an answer.
“Get what?”
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head Kyle, I’ll explain everything later.
Don’t forget to come say hi next time you see me.”
I don’t know who was more curious, myself, or the idiot brothers.
“You know he’s going to rape you right?”
“What the hell is wrong with your thought process Pelter?”
“Seriously, are you guys fighting or what?”
“Dude, we’re not going out, we never were.”
I could practically hear the wheels turning in Jay’s head.
“What?”
“It was a joke Jay. We were getting back at everyone for making us stay at the cottage.”
“I expected this from you, but Ky, never, I never would have thought you would be in on this. You used to be so innocent.”
“I’m still innocent!”
“Jacob just bailed you out of jail. That‘s not being very innocent to me.” Touché. “And why wasn’t I in on this scheme?”
“Because you have a big mouth. You would have blurted it out.”
Instinctively I punched Jacob in the side. “Be nice.”
“Bite me.”
“You wish-”
“If you’re not going out why are you still flirting like middle schoolers?”
A deathly silence seeped through the air.
“No one is flirting. You obviously don’t know hatred when you see it. I’ll walk home from here thank you.”
“You can’t walk home from here, someone will try to kidnap you.”
“I’m a grown ass woman, I can take care of myself.”
Suddenly gravity ceased to exist, until I hit Jacob’s shoulder.
“Put me down!”
My eyes scanned the lot, hoping someone would be going to the their squad car.
“Officer Redmond! Help! They’re kidnapping me!”
“Thought you were a grown ass woman.” Jacob sneered.
“Officer Redmond!”
Our eyes locked, he paused at his car door, and suddenly began to chuckle before continuing on his way.
…………He just watched me get kidnapped!
He did nothing!
He’s not even about to follow the car!
“Your new boyfriend just let you get kidnapped.”
“I will kill you, don’t tempt me.”
“Try it, you’re too weak.”
I am so sick of hearing him say that.
My eyes squinted as I pondered over scenarios.
Of course I’m too weak, I don’t do every sport imaginable.
I wonder if I could get him arrested….
Probably not.
I could poison his food.
Or!
“I will go to the mountains to train with a master karate dude, and come back within a years time to fight you.”
“Please, you wouldn’t last in the mountains. And it’s not karate dude, it’s instructor. How dumb are you?”
“Don’t call me dumb douche.”
Jay’s hand began to wave in the air.
“Jay, what the hell are you doing?”
“Distracting you.”
“………………….why?”
“Because I’m sick of listening to you guys flirt. It’s really annoying me.”
I’ll kill him too.
Maybe not while he’s driving.
I personally do not want to die.
“Dude, you’re gonna piss me off. Stop talking and just drive.”
So what is this?
Everyone is all fine and dandy now?
Just hunky dorey?
I don’t understand what’s going on.
I don’t want to be friends with him, but I also don’t want to hate him.
Well, I suppose I really can’t hate him.
No matter how much I would have wanted to.