Angel of Yesterday

November 24th, 2015

0 Days left (I took off like 17 days. xD Opps.)

I screamed waking up, and panting. I was sweating all over, another one of my nightmares. This time it was just darkness surrounding me. Darkness. And voices. I heard voices calling my name. Steven. Steven. Come home, Steven. What was home? Back at the temple? I didn't recognize the voices, but they did sound familiar. I looked around, it was dark, but light came through in the cracks of the walls, so I knew I was in the barn still. The truck I was sleeping in was cool to the touch. Then, the barn doors open revealing the gems, they looked frightened. "Steven, are you okay? We heard screaming, and thought something happened." It was Pearl. She has been trying to change, and care for me more than usually. I guess it was working, but it was working too much.

I kind of want her to stop, I don't know. I always wanted the love and support, but now I feel like it was too much. And she always wanted me to talk more about my feelings I had for Lapis, and the feelings I get every day. Why I tried to kill myself, or why I had thoughts of self-harming all the time. I mean the past week has been okay for me, I guess. Other than what Peridot had said at the Kindergarten to me and Amethyst. I shook my head. "No, I'm fine. Just a nightmare. No worries. What's going on? You all seem more on alert than usual." They looked at each other, before looking at me.

"Jasper. She is on the loose on some island. Shaking things up." Garnet said quietly, and positioned her visors. I got up out of the truck, stretching. "We have to go, and find her. Before she does anymore damage." I was a little sad to hear this to be honest. I didn't want them to leave. "And no, Steven. Nothing you can say or do, will stop us from going." I narrowed my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. I hated how she does that.

"I want to help, though!" I also wanted to get revenge, but they didn't need to know that. I wanted to get revenge for the death of my friend. If she wasn't on that ship in the first place, then she would still be alive.

"It's too dangerous, Steven. We don't want you to get hurt," That's what Pearl told me. "You've been under too much stress already. We don't want anything to happen to you." We walked out of the barn, and I had to squint from the blaring sunlight above my head. It was a warm day, unusual for a November day. I looked ahead to see Peridot working on something on the drill. I looked away to look in the eyes of Pearl.

I shook my head sighing. It was no use to fight them. They were always going to tell me that it was too dangerous. I was going to find a way to help them look. I didn't know how, but I was going to try. One way or another. "Fine, I'll stay here, and watch Peridot work on the finishing touches of the drill. Just be safe, okay?" I told them, and gave them all hugs. Garnet ruffled my hair, before they ran off panting to the warp pad.

"You're going to do something, are you not?" I jumped as I heard Peridot's voice right behind me. "I'm not stupid, you know." I turned around to see Peridot with her hand on her hip, before the ground started to shake. Something was going on at that island. The tremble stopped and she looked terrified for a second before getting over herself. She sat down on the ground, patting the spot next to her. I took up the offer, sitting down next to her. "The Crystal Gems … they have no chance against Jasper. Being on the ship with her for those months was terrifying enough." A shudder went down her whole body, she shook her head. "Anyway, let's just hope that they do have a chance, but my money goes on Jasper." I pushed her playfully, and she giggled. "I'm sorry, I know her, and she won't go down easily."

I grabbed my knees up to my chest. "Can I ask you a question, Peridot?" she looked up at me a little confused, but she nodded and motioned her hand for me to continue. "How was Lapis? Like how was she the whole time on that ship? Was she sad?" A bunch of emotions came across Peridot's face, until it stuck on a cold expression. I didn't mean to struck a nerve with her.

"Why do you care so much for Lazuli?" She asked coldly. "What do you have with her? Are you sad because she ran away?" I had to tangle my pants in my fist to try and calm down. Why was she being so cold about it?

I took a deep breath shaking my head. "She didn't run away for your information. She was crushed into practically dust when the ship went down because I couldn't save her. I saved my family only. Now answer my question, Peridot."

Shaking her head, she looked lost for words. "I didn't know, I'm sorry. God, I didn't mean to sound like a brat there." she did look guilty for acting like that, and I shook my head. "However, Lazuli, she hated it on the ship. She wouldn't talk, she wouldn't budge from the corner. No matter how many beatings she got from Jasper, she wouldn't say anything. She was so full of hatred for us, she would glare, then look away. I would hear her whispering to herself, over the course of the day. She just wanted to go home, and I feel terrible from taking that away from her. I wish I saw the errors of my way back then. Like I do now."

I nodded, not wanting to say anything. If I did I know it wouldn't be good. I was filled with loathsome hatred. Lying down, I curled up in a ball. I felt shuffling next to me, as Peridot stood up. "I'm sorry, Steven, I wish you can truly understand how sorry I really am." Her voice was fading out as I closed my eyes to let the numbness hit me. It hit so hard that it almost hurt when I fell into the world of darkness.

This dream was different from all the others. Instead of darkness, I was on a island. I could feel the heat of the sand sinking inside my skin. However, when I looked down, I wasn't human. I was a watermelon. I tried to open my mouth, but nothing came out other than black seeds. That was disgusting. I wobbled along, looking around to find my surroundings. Then, I heard fighting, and then a cry from a familiar voice. What was going on? I ran through the sand as fast as my wobbling legs could take me.

Trees were all around me as I went to the source of the sound. There I saw my family fighting off Jasper, and a corrupted gem. This gem was huge, ugly, and scary looking. I opened to say something, but nothing came out that was understandable. Amethyst ran at Jasper, but was thrown back against a tree. I ran over to her, to try to get her attention, but she looked at me once weirdly then got up, running back to the gems. This was definitely no dream, she acknowledged me, but she didn't know who I was.

I needed to help, I needed to do something. I turned around, running back the way I came. Maybe I can find others like me. Coming across a village, I started to grunt angrily, trying to get their attentions. They stopped what they were doing, walking over to me. I started grunting more, asking for their help. Apparently, Jasper has been making them sacrifice their people as an offering to her to stay away from the village. The watermelons gathered things to fight with then followed me through the forest to where the fighting was being held.

"What is this?!" I heard Jasper growl out as she fought against Pearl, blocking her spears with her forearms. "I thought you worshiped me! How could you side with these, worthless, nobody's?!" Jasper managed to push Pearl off of her. That was the chance for the watermelons to attack Jasper, jumping on her. She screamed, and smashed the watermelons like they were nothing under her fists and feet. The Crystal gems took down the corrupted gem, before helping the watermelon Stevens with Jasper. When they all separated Jasper was on the ground unconscious.

Pearl was panting and then laughs as she hugs her fellow team mates. She then kisses Amethyst as I ran over and hugs her legs. I felt her body tense when she crouched down to look at me. A smile crosses her lips. "Steven, is that you?" She asked me, and I nodded my watermelon head.

"Thank you, we couldn't have done it without you." Garnet said and hugs me as well. I knew they couldn't do it. I told them they should have brought me along with them in the first place. I looked at Jasper's body, and felt hatred for her. I never felt so much hate in my life, but every time I see her. "Thank you. All of you. You were all brave." The watermelon Stevens grunt happily in response.

"Good job, Melon Head." Amethyst said as she grabbed Pearl's hand staring at me. We all laughed in response, before the ground started to shake. I saw Amethyst hold on tighter to Pearl, like her life depends on it. A frighten look on her face.

"It must be the cluster. Steven, it's up to you. The warp was destroyed. We won't make it back in time." Garnet said and I shook my head. I was scared. I didn't want to leave them, I didn't want to lose my only family I have. "Wake up, get Peridot and start drilling. The Earth needs you, Steven. We'll be fine. You can do this. We believe in you." How can they believe in me? When I can barely believe in myself. I nodded once again.

My surroundings were starting to fade. "You got this dude. You know the drill." I heard Amethyst say, and smile at me.

"Be careful, Steven. Watch each other's back." Pearl said softly.

The last thing I saw was their faces, and the fading voice of Garnet. "And Steven …" There was a pause. "We love you ..." Then it was dark. I was back in the darkness, back in my human form. I looked back in fourth like I didn't know which way I wanted to go. One way, there was my mom and Lapis, the other way I could see the drill. I turned to face my mom and Lapis. Lapis was smiling and motioning me to come along. My mom was shaking her head disappointed. I started walking over to them, then I got shook awake. A frightened looking Peridot, staring right in my face, inches apart.

"Where are the others?" She asked as the ground starts to crack as it shook under our feet. I shook my head, and she groans. "Get into the drill now, we have no time for this." We climbed into the cockpit, and she starts up the drill going down into the earth. "It'll be two hours until we hit the cluster." I did not like that at all. We rode in silence before I started to feel claustrophobic. I shut my eyes tightly, shaking my head.

"I hate it down here so much. It's so cramped, and kind of hot in here. And ugh. Just keep taking to me to distract me from this feeling." I was barely able to move my legs around, I sighed. She then started to talk to me about the liquid surrounding us, and then Homeworld. I was going to reply when Gem mutants started to attack the drill. That didn't help my racing heart one bit, it slowed a bit when Peridot took out a cannon. She handed me a Nintendo 64 controller. "Something doesn't feel right about this. Ngah. These things. We can't just leave their gems out there. They're going to form again later. If I could just bubble them, then, they'd be safe." I hated to know that they were suffering down here, I wanted to help them, I wanted to know I can help instead of always getting people and things hurt.

"There is no helping them. They're too broken. The beings who used to be in those shards are so shattered, they don't know who they are, or what's happening around them. They just seek out other gems, looking for the missing pieces of themselves. Trying to make themselves whole." A red gem came at the camera and I shot it away, as my heart ached in response to what Peridot said. They probably never asked for this. "These early experiments only combine two or three shards. The cluster will be a billion times bigger. An inseparable fusion capable of destroying worlds, starting with this one." The drill pierces the ceiling of a huge opening, and stops. Peridot looks around with mobile binoculars attached to a flashlight.

The cluster and its surroundings tremor. Peridot and I shout in panic. White matter ripples and surrounds the cluster, rising up towards the drill. "Steven, I'm sorry I couldn't save you or the billions of other lifeforms who matter far, far less to me. Do you have any last words?!" There was more words that I wanted to say, but had no time to say them. There were also things that I wanted to say, and I couldn't. I opened my mouth and nothing came out, I shook my head as I wrapped my arms around Peridot hugging her. I was scared, but the thought of dying right here put me at peace at the same time.

The cockpit shakes violently. Peridot hugs me back, when white matter rushes upwards, surrounding the drill. The lights flicker, and voices cry out from below. After a moment, the matter shapes into white hands, which brush past the drill and reside back down to their source. Peridot observes the cluster's outstretched arms on the screen."It's still struggling to take its form! This means we still might have time. There's still a chance!" She reaches for the panel and presses some buttons. Then, grasps the steering handles. "Just a little repositioning." She pushes the steering handles. The drill's mechanical legs climb through the hole in the ceiling, suspending the drill above the cluster.

"Peridot, I don't think we should hurt the cluster. I don't think it knows what it's doing." I didn't feel comfortable hurting the cluster, it just wants to find their missing pieces. I just knew it didn't want to hurt anybody. I had a feeling.

Peridot presses a button on the steering handle, the drill spins up and its legs jump down. White hands reach out from the cluster and surround the contraption. We scream as we fell. The drill struggles to touch the cluster's surface against the force of the white matter, but eventually makes contact. There was then this searing pain pounding inside my head, I groaned holding my face. "Keep going." I said as I was holding my head, Peridot looked worried, but nodded as she kept going along with the mission.

The three drills separate in a triangular formation. The cluster's outreached arms retreat. I looked down at the cockpit floor, seeing flashing hallucinations of ghoulish faces floating up towards me. Gasping in shock, one of the drills breaks off, I watched from the glass. I looked out the window at the cluster, with a nauseated frown. I was feeling sick, having no idea if it was the ride, the fact we were going to hurt the cluster, or the pounding headache. I see another ghostly face. Its mouth widens in a groan as it rushes towards me. My eyes widen and I scream being knocked back in shock, crashing into Peridot. A second drill breaks off. The machine spins around in unbalance. The force of the spinning machine throws us against our seats. I grip my head and stomach, gritting his teeth in pain.

My gem beings to glow, I could hear Peridot calling my name, as I sit upright in pain, panting heavily. Peridot rushes over to face me. I started to sweat and pant more heavily, I looked up, and again, sees a vision of a ghoulish face floating up. My seat is suspended among them, and Peridot is gone. "Peridot? Peridot?" My gem glows and the seat dissipates, I looked around floating into the darkness that turned into a starry night sky. The whispers of lost souls echoed around me. Must ... Have to ... Want to ... Need to ... Have to ... I noticed that gem shards were floating around me. Want to ... Need to ... Want to ...

A gem shard floats past me, a small broken voice can be heard from it as its glow pulsates … want to ... need to ... A strong light emits around me and the voices cry out. "Form!" I screamed out and covered my ears. Their voices pierced my ears and rattled my brain. The light subsides and the voices calm.

It's the cluster. I'm talking to the cluster?! "But ... how did I get inside your brain? Brains?" Have to ... Want to ... Need to ... Must! How was I here? Why was I here? I was confused, I don't remember how I got here. I was just with Peridot on the drill and now I am inside the cluster. I gasped. "Wait! Please don't take form!" The light returns and the cluster chants aggressively.

"Form! Form! Form! Form! Want form! Want form! Form!" I covered my ears again, the light and the chant fades. I noticed the gem shard that floated past me earlier.

"You're shards. You just wanna find the rest of your gems. However, forming won't help you find the rest of yourselves. You'll just destroy the Earth, but if you wanna find other gems, there's so many of you right here! Look." I pushed a gem shard near another. "Shard, meet shard!" The shard glow as they speak. Have to … Want to … "See? You already have so much to talk about." The Cluster's voices raise in commotion as they begin to speak to each other. Bubbles of light surround me as I smile. I was helping somebody. I wasn't failing to help them. I felt so good about it. I was doing something that the gems would be pride of. The cluster is soon engulfed in light. Links form between bubbles of light. The light subsides momentarily, then returns. The cluster cries out in anguish.

"Can't stop! Going to form! Can't stop! Going to form! Help! Help! Help!"

"It's okay. If I just bubble you, you won't have to come out. It'll keep you safe. Here, look, like this!" I started to bubble the shards near me. "I can bubble you! I can bubble you! I can bubble you! Ah. Well, that's five. Out of ... oh jeez. I'm sorry! I can't do it alone!" I was going to fail, I was just a failure at everything. I felt like curling up in a ball. The bubbles of light pulsate around me, pushing me to and fro. I start to float away from the cluster. Grunting, reaching out to the light. I woke up with Peridot in front of me.

Once I came to my senses, I sat upright and gasps. Bubbles can be seen forming on the cluster's surface. "They're bubbling each other!" I bent down on one knee and places my hands-on the cock pit floor. I could feel my heart pounding as I thought about what I was going to do. "I've got you. You've got this. We've all got each other!" I was going to help them, to repay the others that I couldn't help. I encased the cluster in a huge pink bubble, the drill's mechanical arms climb out of its hole near the barn. The contraption falls, and we tumble out of the cockpit when we got up, Peridot hugs me. I hugged her back before my body was becoming weak, my heart slowing down. My legs were trembling. I was feeling sick to my stomach, and my head was spinning. The world was spinning. What was going on? "Peridot ..." I whispered before I fell on the ground, and my whole world went dark.