The New Drummer

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I met everyone’s families and everyone got to know mine. Everyone’s parents loved me and I was glad that I meshed well with what the guys had already created. I had been in the music industry long enough to know what could happen to a band whose members did not mesh well. It usually ended in fights and break ups before anyone could really see what the band was capable of. After the parents all left around eight and Cash, River, and Owen had gone to bed, it was just us “youngin’s” as my dad called us as he left and I was currently hanging out with the girls in the hot tub when the famous question popped up.

“So girlie we’re all taken,” Michelle said, “What about you?”

“Wait I thought. . .” I started and Michelle smiled lightly at my confusion.

“Brian and I got a divorce about two years ago,” she said, “but we’re still friends. We ended up falling out of love if it makes sense at the end of the day we were just roommates. Don’t get me wrong we had our ups and downs for a few years and we tried hard to work it out but in the end we just didn’t end up clicking. I’m currently remarried to a lawyer named Kennedy and he’s wonderful. Brian actually set us up I think six months after we got our divorce finalized.”

“Oh wow,” I said looking over to see the guys laughing around the fire pit Matt had started.

“So now about you,” Val said quickly switching the subject before I could ask any more questions.

“Who me?” I asked, “I’m divorced. I’ve been divorced for about six years now.”

“You were married,” Lacey said shocked and I smiled lightly.

“Happily actually until the miscarriages,” I said feeling completely comfortable around these ladies to share my story.

I looked up to see Sarah and Kaylie looking at me worriedly but I nodded my head to tell them I was ready to talk about it. I hadn’t really talked about my divorce since its happened and I felt like I needed to be honest with these people. I had learned during my years of working with bands and touring that being honest with the people you share close quarters with make things way easier.

“I think the guys need to hear this too,” I said and the girls nodded their heads as we got out of the hot tub.

I followed the girls and I smiled lightly as I watched all the girls except Michelle sit next to their respected husband. I sat next to Brian and everyone looked at us confused.

“Everything alright?” Zack asked and I then watched his face recognize what was happening when he looked at Meghan’s face.

“I think you guys need to know something about me right now just in case something happens in the future,” I said and I watched the guys become concerned as Sarah and Kaylie held Jeremy and Brad’s hands tightly.

“Should we be worried?” Matt asked and I shook my head no.

“I don’t think so but a quick internet search is going to bring it up I’m sure,” I said, “So I’d rather you hear this from me and not the internet.”

The guys all nodded their heads and I smiled for the first time feeling comfortable with telling my story of heartbreak.

“I’ve been divorced for six years,” I said, “I was happily married to Matt Tuck from Bullet For My Valentine for three years before we got a divorced.”

“Okay,” the guys said like it was no big deal and I gave them a small smile.

“We divorced because I had two miscarriages and we couldn’t stand to look at each other,” I said, “Well it was more like he couldn’t stand to look at me.”

“What?” Brian asked shocked and I gave everyone a small smile.

“We met on my very first tour I was managing on my own,” I said, “We clicked instantly Matt and I just had this weird connection. We dated for the length of their tour before we decided to get married. My brothers loved him, my father loved him, everyone important to me approved of us and we were so supportive of each other. We got pregnant within the first year of being married. Everything was going great, I had hit my second month mark when we lost the baby unexpectedly. We did all kinds of tests and they came back to tell us that we were perfectly fine. The OB told us that spontaneous miscarriages could happen and told us not to get down on ourselves for it and to try again. Well about a year later we found out we were pregnant again. Matt and I were so excited that we were pregnant again because it had been a rough year between us. Again at the two month mark I had another miscarriage and things got worse for a while. We slept in different rooms, I went through a very scary depression that took me years to get out of.”

“But you were married for three years right?” Zack asked and I nodded my head.

“I think he stayed one more year because the day he was going to bring up he wanted a divorce I tried to commit suicide because I blamed myself for the miscarriages and couldn’t understand why I couldn’t have a child,” I said and I heard gasps from the girls, “I promise after the divorce I got the proper care and I’m not depressed and I’ve come to terms with my way in life. It was a good thing that we got a divorce because we couldn’t help each other through each other’s grief because we both couldn’t handle our own first. Now we’re like you and Michelle are Brian. I’m really close to Charly and Matt now. I actually introduced them to each other during our divorce and before our divorce was finalized they announced they were going to have a child together. They asked me to Evann’s godmother and I’m really close to that boy. I just thought you might want to know that in case something happened and someone brought it up in an interview. I know this is super heavy and you’ve literally only met me a few hours ago but I felt like you needed to know.”

No one said anything for a minute and I smiled when I heard Brad speak up.

“You people must make my sister very comfortable,” he said, “Because she’s never been that open to speak about what happened between her and Matt. It’s taken her a while to heal from the heartbreak. So I’ll ask as an older brother is to just take care of her. I think Jeremy can agree with me that she’s the only girl we have left in our family and we’ll do whatever it takes to protect her.”

“Evie,” I heard Zack’s voice, “You literally are family now. We’re always going to be here for you no matter what. We will take care of you and thank you for sharing that with us. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that within the last few years but know if things get hard on this road you’re not going to be alone. We’re going to become the annoying brothers you wished you never had.”

I smiled lightly at the guys and Zack and was immediately brought into a group hug by them. It was a bit odd at first for me but I knew that without a doubt that these boys had my back no matter what now and that I was grateful for.