A Little Bit Older

I hadn’t talked to Matt when I’d gotten back after Thanksgiving. I hadn’t really talked to anyone other than Meghan and the girls from work. In fact, I’d taken to skyping more with my friends still living back in Marseille because I found that it was a bit easier to talk to people who had no idea about my current romantic short-comings.

The biggest reason though that I had been avoiding people wasn’t even that I didn’t want to see them but was actually because I’d been working so much. Julie, Tara, and I had gotten closer and I found myself living my own life and living less like an appendage from Meghan’s life. It was nice to have my own space, but it was also hard because I felt like I was cutting off so many people who I’d come to enjoy the company of at the same time.

The entire month of December seemed to disappear before my eyes. On Christmas, Meghan and Zacky had come over and we’d done a small little gift exchange but I hadn’t gone to the larger get together – despite all the girls’ protests that I should be there. Instead, I spent the day with Julie who wouldn’t be flying home to Louisiana until after Christmas and didn’t have anyone to spend the holiday with. As a result, I had a pile of gifts sitting in the corner of my living room for everyone that I hadn’t gotten around to handing out yet.

It was New Year’s Eve now and I couldn’t get out of seeing everyone much longer. Meghan was dead set against me staying at home and insisted that I come over to her house for a casual get together to herald in the new year. Even when I’d tried to lie and tell her I was hanging with the girls from work, she insisted that I come and hang out with my other group of friends too.

I had decided to dress up – fake it until you make it, basically – and had decided to don a pair of dark wash jeans, a black shirt, pale yellow scarf, and grey heeled booties. It was simple but classic look and I figured it wouldn’t look like I had tried hard or like I had spent the past week of vacation holed up in my house wearing nothing but sweatpants.

“Ruby! It’s good to see you again!” Zack exclaimed when I finally walked into their house. I smiled and knew he was being overly friendly because he wasn’t quite sure how to handle me. He couldn’t figure out if I was depressed or just overwhelmed with work and had decided the best course of action was to surround me with an extreme amount of positive energy.

“It’s nice to see you too, Zack. I have Christmas gifts for everyone – can you tell me where to put them?” I asked gesturing to the large bag I had resting on my shoulder. I was basically the week late Santa Clause right now.

“I’ll just set them in the living room. Are they labelled?” He asked and I nodded. “People can grab them if they belong to them then.” He said with a laugh and I handed him the bag and he walked away.

“Where’s my nephew?” I hollered as he walked away.

“With Meghan upstairs going down for bed.” He responded and I chuckled before heading up to Theo’s room.

“Knock knock.” I said pushing open Theo’s door with my foot to see Meghan putting a book away on the shelf as Theo laid curled up in his bed.

“Hi Auntie Ruby!” Theo yawned “Are you here for the party too?”

“Nah, I’m here to steal the food and then take a nap” I replied walking over and giving him a fist bump as Meghan flicked on the nightlight.

“Hey sis.” She said pulling me into a hug. “Looking cute. As always.” She told me with a small wink.

“Thank you, thank you. Where is everyone? I thought the party started at 10?” I asked confused at the lack of people in the house. I had even arrived almost 20 minutes late.

“I sent out a PSA delaying it half an hour because someone claimed he wasn’t sleepy.” She said sending a pointed look at Theo.

“I’m wasn’t. But now I am.” He retorted and I laughed lightly.

“Did you get enough parties with Christmas?” I asked and he made a soft noncommittal noise.

“Parties are overrated.” He murmured and I laughed. He took after his aunt already.

“Are you going to wake me up in the morning?”

“You’re staying the night?” He asked incredulously and I nodded. Even though I was right across the street, Meghan and Zack had invited everyone to crash here to avoid anyone needed to drive after drinking.

“Everyone is, dude.” Meghan told him and he nodded as his eyes started to flutter shut.

“Okay.” He said and I realized we’d basically lost him to sleep at this point.

Meghan and I stood around for a few more minutes until we were sure he was asleep and then headed downstairs. It was now closer to 11 and I figured most people would be here now since it wouldn’t be long until midnight.

“Ruby!” I wasn’t even sure who yelled by name but as soon as I made my way into the kitchen I was engulfed in hugs and passed around among Michelle, Val, and Lacey. They asked me a mirage of questions about how I was and thanked me for their gifts which they’d picked up from the living room. Apparently, my bag was now mostly full again with gifts from all of them as well.

After a few more minutes of catching up with everyone, Meghan handed me a drink and we all made our way to the living room where the guys were watching television and waiting for the countdown to start for the ball drop.

I said my hellos to all the guys and took a seat on the floor since all the seats on the couches and chairs were taken up.

“Do you want my seat?” Matt asked realizing I was sitting on the floor and I felt a chill since it was the first time he had acknowledged my existence since everything had happened.

“No, this is fine.” I replied with a weak smile and avoided looking over at him. I didn’t want to make eye contact and I wanted to give an impression that I was fine. I was fine with how this had played out and I didn’t need any confrontation about it. It was easy enough to just keep going through the movements without worrying about it. Relationships were exhausting and I didn’t have the energy to keep feeling sad about my failed relationship with Matt.

“I should go get the champagne!” Meghan exclaimed once it got later and she realized that it was less than a minute to the ball.

“I’ll get it, you stay here.” I said with a smile and pushed off the floor towards the kitchen.
When the countdown to 10 started, the excitement in the room was heightened. Everyone at that point was a little tipsy and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to be in a room around everyone exchanging kissed at the stroke of midnight.

I could hear them counting from and smiled softly as I arranged the flutes of champagne onto the two small carrying trays

“Do you need any help carrying that?” Matt asked and I stood frozen staring at him as he offer to take the tray from me.

“Sure.” I said gently and passed him one of the trays.

“Happy New Year.” He whispered as we heard everyone finish the countdown from the other room and I swallowed heavily.

“Happy New Year.” I answered before plastering a large smile on my face and entering the living room to announce the presence of champagne. I wanted to ask him about the girl I’d seen him with but also didn’t want to admit that I’d seen him at the club. I didn’t want to talk to him at all.

“Hey Ruby?” He asked once all the champagne flutes were handed out and everyone started talking amongst themselves again.

“Hmh?” I hummed trying to make myself appear busy with collecting empty glasses and placing them on the trays.

“Can we talk?” He asked and I felt my breath get caught in my throat. I closed my eyes and tried to keep myself calm.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I finally admitted before standing up and carrying the glasses into the kitchen. I could do a load of dishes for Meghan under the guise of being a good sister and avoid Matt all the same time.