Status: Complete.
Scribbles of a Broken Heart
Real Farewells (Part 2)
“What?”
“I love you,” Garrett said again.
“No, you don’t,” I contested.
“Ye-“
“No you don’t!” I slammed my backpack on the ground and it slid to his feet. “You don’t. Take it back,” I commanded.
“Even if I take it back, that doesn’t make it not true.”
I put my hands over my face and sunk until I was in a squat. I was surprised to feel the tears on my cheeks, I didn’t think it was possible for me to cry so much in so little time.
“Why’d you have to say that?”
I heard him walk towards me and I put my knees down on the cold floor. He pulled my hands from my face and knelt down as well.
“I don’t want you to go.”
I looked straight at him, “I don’t have a choice, Garrett. You think I want this? Do you think I can actually handle this?”
“Keep fighting them.”
“There’s no fighting them,” I shook my head. “Why couldn’t you just make this easy?”
Garrett laughed bitterly, grabbing both sides of my face with his large hands. He brought his head close enough that our foreheads were touching.
“That isn’t our style,” he answered.
I swore that he was on the verge of tears.
‘Should I tell him that I love him too?’ I questioned myself. I wondered if that knowledge would make him a little happy or just make this that much more difficult.
“So what happens now?” He caressed my cheek with his wide thumb.
“We ignore each other. We live our lives as if the other didn’t exist. I can’t keep seeing you if I don’t want my parents to hate me. And I can’t let them hate me Garrett, I just can’t.”
He nodded his head, causing our skin to rub against each other.
“Are you in any trouble?”
“Don’t worry about me,” he shrugged. “My parents weren't that upset.”
“That’s good.”
He didn’t say anything back for a few seconds, “Should I say ‘I’m sorry?’”
“No,” I answered quickly. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. To say that your sorry means that you have regrets abut what you did. I don’t have any regrets, and I’m hoping that you don’t either.”
“Of course I don’t have regrets. I was just going to say it if that was what you wanted to hear.”
I sighed. “Speaking of things that I didn’t want to hear; did you mean what you said? Do you really love me?”
“Yeah,” he whispered. “I have for a while now. I just didn’t want to mess things up, ya know?
Things were really great, and I didn’t know if it would change things. But since things are pretty much in the shit right now, I figured that it could only help. But I honestly do love you. And the thought of not being able to even talk to you just…” his voice cracked. “I feel like you’re gonna make me do the impossible.”
More tears fell from my eyes, but my heart rate did not speed up. “You’ll be fine,” I assured.
You’re strong, you’re well liked. There are a lot of other girls.”
Garrett removed his head from mine so he could see all of my face, “But only one is for me.”
“Please don’t say things like that,” I begged. “Just don’t.”
Three long beeps erupted from the intercom system, followed by my principle’s voice, “It is now three-thirty. All students should be in after-care or with a club moderator, thank you.”
“I gotta go,” I choked out. I was about to get up but he caught me around the waist, bringing me back down to my knees. He pulled me so close that our hips touched. He held the back of my neck with his right hand, the other still lingering on my side. Our eyes were locked on each others.
“Do you love me?”
Even through the tears I felt the full intensity of his gaze.
“Do you want to hear the truth?”
A single tear rolled down his tan cheek when he closed his eyes. I could tell by the way his lips parted when he exhaled that he was thinking hard.
“I need the truth.”
Maybe it was the way his eyes looked too blue, or the way his breathing was unsteady and short, but whatever it was, I couldn’t withhold the words from him. No matter how much I previously promised myself that I wasn’t going to say it, the phrase had to come out. And at that point—it didn’t matter whether the issue of love was just going to make our burden heavier—it became necessary knowledge.
“Yeah,” I genuinely smiled. “I love you.”
Garrett pushed my head towards his and our lips collided. It felt so needy and desperate, but the love and passion could not be denied. I tried to remember everything about the kiss, the way his lips tasted and how smooth they fit against my own
‘This is the last time.’
As soon as I thought that I sobbed into the kiss and broke away. I ran to pick up my backpack and then bolted to the door. Before I pushed the handle, I turned back to look at him. He was still on his knees, running his hands through his soft, coffee hair. It was the first time I saw him actually cry, and it broke me further.
“Bye,” I bid pushing open the door. As soon as I turned to the hallway his agonizing scream rang in my ears.
“I love you,” Garrett said again.
“No, you don’t,” I contested.
“Ye-“
“No you don’t!” I slammed my backpack on the ground and it slid to his feet. “You don’t. Take it back,” I commanded.
“Even if I take it back, that doesn’t make it not true.”
I put my hands over my face and sunk until I was in a squat. I was surprised to feel the tears on my cheeks, I didn’t think it was possible for me to cry so much in so little time.
“Why’d you have to say that?”
I heard him walk towards me and I put my knees down on the cold floor. He pulled my hands from my face and knelt down as well.
“I don’t want you to go.”
I looked straight at him, “I don’t have a choice, Garrett. You think I want this? Do you think I can actually handle this?”
“Keep fighting them.”
“There’s no fighting them,” I shook my head. “Why couldn’t you just make this easy?”
Garrett laughed bitterly, grabbing both sides of my face with his large hands. He brought his head close enough that our foreheads were touching.
“That isn’t our style,” he answered.
I swore that he was on the verge of tears.
‘Should I tell him that I love him too?’ I questioned myself. I wondered if that knowledge would make him a little happy or just make this that much more difficult.
“So what happens now?” He caressed my cheek with his wide thumb.
“We ignore each other. We live our lives as if the other didn’t exist. I can’t keep seeing you if I don’t want my parents to hate me. And I can’t let them hate me Garrett, I just can’t.”
He nodded his head, causing our skin to rub against each other.
“Are you in any trouble?”
“Don’t worry about me,” he shrugged. “My parents weren't that upset.”
“That’s good.”
He didn’t say anything back for a few seconds, “Should I say ‘I’m sorry?’”
“No,” I answered quickly. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. To say that your sorry means that you have regrets abut what you did. I don’t have any regrets, and I’m hoping that you don’t either.”
“Of course I don’t have regrets. I was just going to say it if that was what you wanted to hear.”
I sighed. “Speaking of things that I didn’t want to hear; did you mean what you said? Do you really love me?”
“Yeah,” he whispered. “I have for a while now. I just didn’t want to mess things up, ya know?
Things were really great, and I didn’t know if it would change things. But since things are pretty much in the shit right now, I figured that it could only help. But I honestly do love you. And the thought of not being able to even talk to you just…” his voice cracked. “I feel like you’re gonna make me do the impossible.”
More tears fell from my eyes, but my heart rate did not speed up. “You’ll be fine,” I assured.
You’re strong, you’re well liked. There are a lot of other girls.”
Garrett removed his head from mine so he could see all of my face, “But only one is for me.”
“Please don’t say things like that,” I begged. “Just don’t.”
Three long beeps erupted from the intercom system, followed by my principle’s voice, “It is now three-thirty. All students should be in after-care or with a club moderator, thank you.”
“I gotta go,” I choked out. I was about to get up but he caught me around the waist, bringing me back down to my knees. He pulled me so close that our hips touched. He held the back of my neck with his right hand, the other still lingering on my side. Our eyes were locked on each others.
“Do you love me?”
Even through the tears I felt the full intensity of his gaze.
“Do you want to hear the truth?”
A single tear rolled down his tan cheek when he closed his eyes. I could tell by the way his lips parted when he exhaled that he was thinking hard.
“I need the truth.”
Maybe it was the way his eyes looked too blue, or the way his breathing was unsteady and short, but whatever it was, I couldn’t withhold the words from him. No matter how much I previously promised myself that I wasn’t going to say it, the phrase had to come out. And at that point—it didn’t matter whether the issue of love was just going to make our burden heavier—it became necessary knowledge.
“Yeah,” I genuinely smiled. “I love you.”
Garrett pushed my head towards his and our lips collided. It felt so needy and desperate, but the love and passion could not be denied. I tried to remember everything about the kiss, the way his lips tasted and how smooth they fit against my own
‘This is the last time.’
As soon as I thought that I sobbed into the kiss and broke away. I ran to pick up my backpack and then bolted to the door. Before I pushed the handle, I turned back to look at him. He was still on his knees, running his hands through his soft, coffee hair. It was the first time I saw him actually cry, and it broke me further.
“Bye,” I bid pushing open the door. As soon as I turned to the hallway his agonizing scream rang in my ears.
♠ ♠ ♠
if any of you are wondering, no this isn't anywhere near the end of the story.thanks to all those that commented, i loved them.