If We Jump

I saw Dakotah at school on Monday after I had decided to give up on my crush. Guess I lost my chance with her.

"Hey Stephen, how was your weekend?" she said coming up beside me at my locker.

"Okay I guess, how was yours?" I told her, being reminded again of the feeling I had when I saw her with Brent.

"Oh, um it was good. Is something wrong?" for a moment I almost considered telling her I like her but the thought vanished when I realized the hallways were beginning to clear and I still hadn't answered yet. "Nothing, don't worry about it. Uh, I'll see you in chemistry" I told her and walked away. I needed to make sure John wouldn't say anything. I went to his locker and looked briefly through the halls but everyone seemed to be in class already.
I made my way to chemistry, knowing I’d get a lecture for being tardy. I walked into the room and my eyes immediately went to her. She was concentrated on something she was writing. “Mr. Gomez” Mr. Evans said for the third time. A few people snickered and I realized I was just standing in the doorway.

“Sorry Mr. Evans” I said, “it won’t happen again”. I took my seat next to Dakotah and she looked up at me. “Everything okay Stephen? You look worried...” she said.

“Have you talked to John at all today?” I asked her, not paying attention to her question.

“Um, no, why what’s wrong, Stephen?” I could tell by the look on her face that she was worried about me. “No, nothing’s wrong, I just… haven’t seen him all day.”

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A few weeks passed. Stephen seemed distant for a little while but things were slowly getting back to the way they used to be. He had become my best friend over the past few months and we were really close. I told him things no one else knew about me and he did the same. He was always there for me. I’d never had a friend like that before. It was the beginning of April, and prom was coming up next month – that’s all anybody talked about now.

I sat at the lunch table with Jess, waiting for the guys to come back with their food. She was going on and on about how awesome the prom was at this school, but to be honest, I wasn’t interested. I’d never been to a prom before but I assumed it was a bunch of kids sneaking in alcohol and dancing, which isn’t really my scene. I didn’t have a date either, which was the main reason I didn’t want to go, but I’d never admit that.

“So do you want to come dress shopping with me after school?” she asked me excitedly. “Oh, um, I’m not going to prom…” I told her. “What?!” she practically yelled as Stephen, Brian, and Josh sat down at the table. She turned to them before I could stop her and repeated the words that just left my mouth.

“You have to go to prom… it’s prom.” She said. After that everyone at our table was trying to convince me to go. “I don’t have a dress and I can’t dance and besides there’s no one for me to go with”

“You could go with me” Stephen said from beside me. I didn’t really know how to respond. The table grew quiet. I’d love to go out with Stephen, he’s a great guy but he knew we were just friends. Josh quickly chimed in, “yeah we could all go together, as a group”. Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw Stephen shoot him a look, but I must have imagined it.

Regardless of if I was going or not, I promised Jess I would go with her to help her pick out her own dress. I was supposed to meet her at her car after school but it seemed I’d be a few minutes late. I walked to my locker to see Brent standing by it. “Hey Dakotah.” He said as I got closer to him. I said hi to him and moved a little to the left so I could open my locker. “So we’re pretty good friends right?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah Brent, I guess we are.” I met Brent in the beginning of the school year. He said hi to me in the halls but that was pretty much the extent of our friendship. We never hung out outside of school or did anything together.

“You’re pretty cool Dakotah, you want to go out sometime? Maybe tomorrow night?”

“Sure, Brent” I said slowly. I was really confused. “Great” he smiled and walked away. I put my books in my locker and went to Jess’s car. She drove us to the nearest mall and dragged me all around from store to store trying on dresses and shoes and trying to find the perfect one. I sat outside the dressing room in a chair near the large mirror as she threw on the tenth or eleventh dress of the day.

“So how are you and Stephen?” she said as she changed.

“We’re fine, why?”

“Oh come on, you can’t be that oblivious, can you?” she said like I was missing out on some important detail.

“Am I missing something?” I wondered. I was beginning to get really confused. What did she know that I didn’t? He told me everything.

“Oh my god, you seriously don’t know...” she had a serious, shocked look on her face as she stepped out of the changing room in a black dress.

“What are you talking about?” I laughed at her making poses in front of the mirror. She walked back into the room to get changed yet again.

“You can’t seriously say you don’t see the way the looks at you? Or the way he suddenly gets so interested when you open your mouth to say something. Or the way he always checks to make sure you’re okay, no matter what he’s going through. Or the way he can’t stop smiling when he’s with you. Or how jealous he gets when you talk to other guys.” She stated. I sat in silence for a moment. Could she really be telling the truth? I didn’t know Stephen thought of me like that.

“I-I thought that was just normal for him...” I said. “Honestly, have you ever seen him look at another girl the way he looks at you?” she said. She came out of the dressing room empty handed and we went to the next store.

“So what does that mean then? If he looks at me different” I asked her. I had a couple boyfriends in the past but none of them were ever that special. I hadn’t noticed anything different about them, but now that she brought it, Jess was right.

“It means he likes you… do you like him?” she asked me, suddenly getting excited. When I first moved here and met Stephen I thought he was really cute and then as we became friends I learned how much more there was to him. I had actually had a crush on him for a little while but as I realized he didn’t feel the same, it faded.

“I don’t know... it doesn’t matter though, it’s a little too late.”

“What do you mean too late? What happened?”

“Brent asked me out today. I’m going on a date with him tomorrow night... I never would have said yes if I had known Stephen felt that way. Do you think he’s going to be mad at me?” I asked her.

“He won’t be mad at you, but I’m willing to bet he’s going to be pretty pissed at himself when he realizes he waited too long.” She answered.

It was about 8 o’clock when we got back to my house. My mom was in the kitchen cleaning up from dinner when we walked inside. “Hey girls, you just missed dinner. Where have you been all day?” she greeted us wiping down the table with a sponge.

“We went shopping for prom dresses.” I told my mom, “I’ll go get your CD” I said to Jess before sprinting upstairs to my room. I wanted to avoid the lecture my mom was going to give me about prom being a rite of passage and blah blah blah.

I returned to the kitchen and handed Jess the New Found Glory CD she lent me a couple days ago. She put the CD in her bag and said goodbye. I guess she had talked to my mother while I was upstairs because as soon as she left, my mom was yet another person trying to convince me to go to prom. And so the lecture begins.