If We Jump

By the end of the day I was in a little bit of a better mood and I was actually looking forward to hanging out after school. The beach was about an hour away so we decided to stop for food on our way there. We laughed and ate and it was just like old times, when we were first becoming friends and getting to know each other.

By the time we got to the beach, the sun was just starting to set. She had a blanket in her car that we laid out on the sand. “So how are you and Brent doing?” I asked her, trying to make conversation.

“Um, we’re okay” she said but I wasn’t convinced. “Uh-oh, that doesn’t sound too good.” I said. I knew he wasn’t right for her. Even if I couldn’t be with her, she still deserved someone better than him. She deserved someone who would care about her and love her more than their popularity.

“I don’t know. It’s just not the way it used to be. He’s changed a lot since I met him.” She said. I nodded in understanding. A lot has changed with her too since I met her. When she first moved here she was shy and quiet but now she opened up and she trusted me. She is my best friend. The sun had set almost completely and I wanted to lighten the mood.

“Let’s go swimming” I said. She looked really confused. “I don’t have a bathing suit.”

“Me neither. Come on, we’ve done it before” I smiled. We used to come here with the guys and Jess earlier in the school year when it was still warm. She stood up with me but still didn’t take off her sweatshirt. “I just feel more comfortable with my hoodie on” she said to the ground.

“Why what’s wrong?” I asked. This wasn’t like her. It seemed like she was hiding something but I wasn’t sure. Maybe she thought we were drifting apart? God, I hoped not.

“Nothing. Can we just go home now?” she said quietly. She started to turn away but stopped when she noticed I wasn’t moving. “Dakotah, come on. What’s wrong? I thought we told each other everything” I said. She looked at the ground and I noticed her lip started to quiver and her eyes got watery.

She lifted her sweatshirt over her head and dropped it onto the sand, revealing a purple bra and her bare stomach. And then I saw them. Her stomach and her arms were covered in bruises. Some were newer, dark purple and prominent, while others were yellowing and fading away. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I pulled her into my arms and held her while she cried. She just kept saying how sorry she was.

It was so hard to control myself. I couldn’t get angry yet as much as I felt the urge to. I wasn’t angry at her, I couldn’t be. None of this was her fault. I was mad a Brent for doing this, for ever putting a hand on her, for even touching her.

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I took off the sweatshirt. If he wanted to know so badly what happened, he could see it. I couldn’t look him the eyes. I knew I had disappointed him. My best friend would be angry with me, he might even hate me for this. But instead, he held me while I cried. I told him how sorry I was between my sobs and he told me everything would be okay. He didn’t let go until I stopped. He smoothed my hair and rubbed my back and he just kept saying I was okay. I wish he was telling the truth.

He handed me my hoodie and said he would drive me home. We walked silently back to the car and he opened the door for me. The drive was quiet, with both of us barely talking.

“Do you hate me?” I asked him in a small voice.

“What? No, I could never hate you. I hate the fucking asshole that hurt you.” He answered. I knew he would be mad. There was nothing I could do about it now though. Now I was just praying he wouldn’t he wouldn’t go after him.

He stopped the car in front of my house and turned it off but he didn’t get out. After a few silent minutes, I asked him, “Can you promise me something?” I hoped he didn’t notice the crack in my voice from crying earlier.

“Yeah” was all he said. “Promise you won’t tell anyone.” I didn’t want people to know, I didn’t even want him to know. People in school already thought I was weird. Sure, I made some friends but people still talk.

“I promise. But can you promise me something?” He asked and I nodded. “Promise me you’ll never see him again.” He didn’t look at me he just stared straight ahead out the window. The mention of him brought tears back to my eyes but they didn’t spill out. He gave me a hug before I got out the car and told me he’d pick me up in the morning since we left his car at the school.

The next morning, Jess texted me that she was going to pick me up instead. I didn’t know why but I agreed. I barely slept last night so I felt like a zombie in the morning. We got to school before Stephen and stood with our group of friends, but when he finally showed up, all hell broke loose. He walked past us without even looking at us and he looked pissed.

Stephen walked straight up to Brent and swung at him. He hit him in the eye but Brent was still standing. “What the fuck, man!” I heard him yell. He swung back but missed. Stephen hit him again, this time in the mouth, and Brent fell to the ground. That’s when Stephen started to yell. “If you ever, put your fucking hands on her again, I’ll break you’re fucking skull.”

For a moment, I thought Brent looked scared, but I knew better. He was just scared everyone would find out his dirty secret. The way Stephen was acting was actually beginning to scare me. He wasn’t the fighting type and I had never seen him that angry before. We didn’t see what direction he went in so the five of us split up to find him. After a few minutes I found him sitting in an empty classroom talking quietly to John.

I stood in the doorway a minute, unsure of what to say. Stephen hopped off the desk he was sitting on and put his hands in his pockets. He looked at John, who got the hint and left us alone. I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. “Hey.” He said awkwardly. I didn’t know what to say, so I just walked over to him and squeezed him tight. “You didn’t have to do that” I told him.

“Yes I did. I wasn’t going to let him hurt you again. I had to protect you.” He said, squeezing me back. “Thanks Stephen. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, he didn’t even hit me” he laughed, “are you okay?”

“I will be.” I told him.