Two Hearts, One Love
Seven
“Are you cheating on me!?”
I was startled awake by a woman shouting. I rubbed my eyes and sat up stiffly. The room had been straightened up but that didn’t surprise me. His mom must’ve cleaned up after I passed out. Even though I was mad at both of them, I was feeling ashamed for my outburst and pressed the button Ian told me to for when I needed to go to the bathroom. It took a few minutes, but the door opened after a quick knock.
“Everything okay?” he asked, poking his head in.
“I need to use the bathroom,” I muttered.
“Oh. I’ll take you.”
“Did I hear someone yelling?” I asked as he helped me down the hall.
I still wasn’t eating out of protest. The oatmeal I was planning on getting rid of the moment the door was shut. And maybe I could take care of other business while I was in there.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said but he was scowling. “It was nothing.”
I didn’t press the matter. When he opened the door to a pristine bathroom, I was ready. I walked in and leaned against the wall, turning to thank him and lock the door. But he didn’t leave. Instead, he followed me in and shut the door. He leaned against it.
“You’re not staying in here,” I said and he scoffed.
“I wasn’t born yesterday. I know what you’re trying to do.”
It was my turn to scowl. “I’m not going to pee in front of you.”
“I’ll close my eyes.”
“This is sexual harassment.”
“No it isn’t. Just use the bathroom. My mom will be home to finish getting rid of whatever anxiety you gave her.”
I stopped unbuttoning my pants. He looked angry for the first time. What right did he have being angry in this situation? And what did he mean?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
The urge to pee was getting the better of me and I pointed to the wall. He rolled his eyes and sighed. He turned his head away as I got on the toilet. He crossed his arms, frowning again. It took him a little while to answer.
“Thanks to what you said, not only did she rearrange the whole living room, but she went out to buy curtains.”
I tried not to laugh.
“You’re blaming me for your mom buying curtains?”
“This isn’t a joke,” he snapped, looking at me regardless of my protests. “Look, she told me what happened to you.”
I glared as I wiped and got to my feet. I slammed the toilet seat down and shoved him out of the way of the sink.
“Why am I not surprised?” I asked sarcastically. “After all, I’ve had so much privacy.”
“I understand you’re hurting,” he said when we were back in the room and I stared at him with wide eyes. “But this isn’t-.”
I slapped him and he stepped back in shock. He touched his cheek and gaped at me.
“Don’t you ever say that again,” I hissed. “You don’t understand anything. If you really understood, you’d leave me be. Instead, you’re letting me continue living in misery! You’re not God!”
“No, I’m not,” he argued. “But I am a human being who has compassion. There aren’t many left and I try my best to make sure a hurting person gets help. My mom knows a therapist who can come talk to you.”
I threw my head back and laughed.
“I’m not talking to a shrink. The only person I plan on talking to is the real God as soon as you stop being such a dick and get out of my life.”
“Why are you being so ungrateful!?” he shouted and I tried not to back down. His voice was a little frightening. “I saved you from falling off your roof! I brought you to my home! I tried to feed you! I clothed you!”
I stomped my foot.
“I didn’t ask you to do any of that! I didn’t want to be saved, Ian! I want to die!”
My words seemed to echo and his shoulders slumped. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. My body was shaking from the adrenaline and I waited. Maybe he’d finally let me go. When he opened his eyes, they were full of that damn sympathy.
“Is there nothing that can make you want to live?” he whispered.
I swallowed the lump that had gathered in my throat. There was one thing but it was impossible and he didn’t have any right knowing. We stared at each other before he just shook his head and went to the door. He stopped and looked over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry for blaming you,” he said. “I just don’t like seeing people hurt, especially my mom. She’s been through enough in her life. Get some rest. Patty will bring you your lunch.”
I waited for the door to close before I let my tears fall.
I was startled awake by a woman shouting. I rubbed my eyes and sat up stiffly. The room had been straightened up but that didn’t surprise me. His mom must’ve cleaned up after I passed out. Even though I was mad at both of them, I was feeling ashamed for my outburst and pressed the button Ian told me to for when I needed to go to the bathroom. It took a few minutes, but the door opened after a quick knock.
“Everything okay?” he asked, poking his head in.
“I need to use the bathroom,” I muttered.
“Oh. I’ll take you.”
“Did I hear someone yelling?” I asked as he helped me down the hall.
I still wasn’t eating out of protest. The oatmeal I was planning on getting rid of the moment the door was shut. And maybe I could take care of other business while I was in there.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said but he was scowling. “It was nothing.”
I didn’t press the matter. When he opened the door to a pristine bathroom, I was ready. I walked in and leaned against the wall, turning to thank him and lock the door. But he didn’t leave. Instead, he followed me in and shut the door. He leaned against it.
“You’re not staying in here,” I said and he scoffed.
“I wasn’t born yesterday. I know what you’re trying to do.”
It was my turn to scowl. “I’m not going to pee in front of you.”
“I’ll close my eyes.”
“This is sexual harassment.”
“No it isn’t. Just use the bathroom. My mom will be home to finish getting rid of whatever anxiety you gave her.”
I stopped unbuttoning my pants. He looked angry for the first time. What right did he have being angry in this situation? And what did he mean?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
The urge to pee was getting the better of me and I pointed to the wall. He rolled his eyes and sighed. He turned his head away as I got on the toilet. He crossed his arms, frowning again. It took him a little while to answer.
“Thanks to what you said, not only did she rearrange the whole living room, but she went out to buy curtains.”
I tried not to laugh.
“You’re blaming me for your mom buying curtains?”
“This isn’t a joke,” he snapped, looking at me regardless of my protests. “Look, she told me what happened to you.”
I glared as I wiped and got to my feet. I slammed the toilet seat down and shoved him out of the way of the sink.
“Why am I not surprised?” I asked sarcastically. “After all, I’ve had so much privacy.”
“I understand you’re hurting,” he said when we were back in the room and I stared at him with wide eyes. “But this isn’t-.”
I slapped him and he stepped back in shock. He touched his cheek and gaped at me.
“Don’t you ever say that again,” I hissed. “You don’t understand anything. If you really understood, you’d leave me be. Instead, you’re letting me continue living in misery! You’re not God!”
“No, I’m not,” he argued. “But I am a human being who has compassion. There aren’t many left and I try my best to make sure a hurting person gets help. My mom knows a therapist who can come talk to you.”
I threw my head back and laughed.
“I’m not talking to a shrink. The only person I plan on talking to is the real God as soon as you stop being such a dick and get out of my life.”
“Why are you being so ungrateful!?” he shouted and I tried not to back down. His voice was a little frightening. “I saved you from falling off your roof! I brought you to my home! I tried to feed you! I clothed you!”
I stomped my foot.
“I didn’t ask you to do any of that! I didn’t want to be saved, Ian! I want to die!”
My words seemed to echo and his shoulders slumped. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. My body was shaking from the adrenaline and I waited. Maybe he’d finally let me go. When he opened his eyes, they were full of that damn sympathy.
“Is there nothing that can make you want to live?” he whispered.
I swallowed the lump that had gathered in my throat. There was one thing but it was impossible and he didn’t have any right knowing. We stared at each other before he just shook his head and went to the door. He stopped and looked over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry for blaming you,” he said. “I just don’t like seeing people hurt, especially my mom. She’s been through enough in her life. Get some rest. Patty will bring you your lunch.”
I waited for the door to close before I let my tears fall.