Breathe

The day after Christmas, Niall started a group chat with all of us asking for our New Years plans. The group chat actually started the day after we’d left school, but it slowed down once we all got back in the swing of things at home. None of us wanted to spend our whole time on our phones talking to each other when we were with our families for the holidays.

I caught up with my older sister, Leah, as she told me about her job and fiancé, Jamie. The two of them lived in Paris since Jamie got a job there and they loved the city from what she told me. My parents had both been busy renovating the basement and turning it into a exercise and rec room. They were doing everything on their own slowly, so it was still a work in progress when I came home, but they promised it would be almost done by Easter. I was rather excited to see it because it would be fun for the whole family to have.

Christmas was a complete family affair. My parents invited my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and little cousins to come visit and have dinner with us. I got a lot of new perfumes, gift cards, and a new Tiffany bracelet from my sister, which I screamed at when I saw. All in all, it was fun, but I did miss my friends and had no plans for NYE. And after a quick chat with the rest of them, I found out that neither did they.

That’s why the night of NYE, we all travelled back to our flats and met up to go to a rave up in Tobacco Dock that Niall had heard about. I arrived at our flat with my clothes and makeup bags in tow and opened my door to be met with screams and hugs from the other girls. I laughed, hugging them all back.

“I missed you so much,” Liv exclaimed, pulling me in. “Not having you down the hall was so weird.”

“I missed you, too,” I cried, hugging her back and placing a kiss on her head before pulling away. “You look good.”

“You like?” Liv asked, twirling in her dark jean shorts and white tank top. “I had no idea what to wear.”

“Same,” Layla agreed, standing in my kitchen, barefoot while eating a bagel. She had on tight black shorts and some orange peasant crop top. It was bright and short, which was perfect for a rave as far as I’d seen from some Google search.  

“Well, I brought all the bright clothing I had at home,” I said, turning to look at Zoe, who was dressed similarly to the other girls. “Help me choose?”

“Sure,” Zoe replied with a smile. “I also got us these eccentric headbands and flower crowns that I stole from my little sister.”

“What?” I cried, laughing. “Let me see.”

She grinned, pulling out a bunch of bright headpieces and sunglasses with flowers on them and in heart shapes. “Thought these would be fun to wear.”

“They would,” Liv agreed, picking out a flower crown and placing it on her head. She topped it off with a pair of sunglasses with pearls around the rims and flowers on the top edges. “How do I look?”

“Amazing,” Layla nodded, sarcastically. “Dress like this everyday.”

“Fuck you, I’m wearing this,” Liv laughed, flipping her the bird. 



After getting dressed, we walked to the boys’ flat and rang the bell obnoxiously when we arrived. We were told pre-game would happen at Zayn, Louis and Liam’s flat, so we were surprised when Niall opened the door, greeting us with a loud, “Heeeeeeeey!”

“Hey,” we all screamed back, hugging him so hard that he staggered backwards, making us fall with him.

“Yes,” he groaned from under them. “This is exactly how I want to ring in the New Year.”

“Quit being a perv for five minutes,” Liv tutted, finally getting up on her feet and running into the kitchen to see the others. Zoe, Layla and I followed, hugging each of the boys.

“Look who it is,” Louis said, hugging me. “Long time no see.”

“Good to see you, too, loser,” I laughed, pulling away and then hugging Zayn.

“Had a good Christmas?” he asked.

I nodded. “Was good. How was yours?”

“Good,” he replied. “Loved seeing my family and eating good food.”

“Ahh,” I cooed. “Did mummy Malik make you lots of brown food?”

“She packed me about a month’s worth of biryani, so I can’t complain,” Zayn grinned.

“He won’t even share,” Louis added, looking over at us. Zayn rolled his eyes behind Louis and the two of them started to argue about the how delicate the portioning of the food was. I let the two of them settle their own argument and turned to Harry, who was smiling at me expectantly.

“Hi, you,” I smiled, sweetly.

Harry grinned, pulled me into a tight hug. It felt like a breath of fresh air hugging him. We somehow knew exactly how to hold each other so we would fit perfectly and it always felt nice. My arms around his neck while his hands were around my waist, exactly right. “You look really pretty. Missed you,” he mumbled into my ear before letting me go and kissing my cheek.

“Missed you, too,” I said to him, poking him on the chest with my forefinger.

My eyes widened when my finger didn’t sink in like I thought it would. His chest was quite firm. Sturdy even, in his thin white t-shirt. It was nice. Not just his firm chest, but seeing him and talking to him. Things got momentarily awkward between us after I’d left the Christmas party without a word. I felt like shit all night and it was hard for me to accept that I’d gotten a bit jealous about Harry with other girls, which was insane. I ignored Harry’s texts that night just because I had no idea what to say to him, but it didn’t matter much because he only sent two. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what he’d gotten busy doing instead of texting.

The time away from school gave me a good chance to escape all that because it was a bit too much all at once. Harry didn’t ask about that night again and we didn’t speak as much as we usually did. It was good because my mind was freshened up and it wouldn’t be an issue anymore. I was over that weird jealousy stint and passed it off as PMS.

It didn’t occur to me until Harry grabbed my finger and entwined our fingers that I’d been standing there staring at him with my finger still on his chest for quite some time. I cleared my throat and looked away, untangling our hands. Harry smiled at me before turning back to the drinks asking me what I wanted.

“Anything’s good,” I replied. “I’ll be out there waiting.” I quickly walked back to the living room to avoid doing anything more embarrassing when Layla ran out from the hallway, giggling like a little girl. “What happened?” I asked her, taking a seat beside Niall and Liv.

“I finally got my revenge,” she said, jumping up on the couch before landing back down on her bum.

“Revenge?” Liv asked.

“On Liam. For walking in on me naked. I just walked in on him having a shower. He’s quite big,” she said casually as though she wasn’t talking about the dick size of one of her closest friend’s.

Our eyes widened, but no one looked more shocked than Niall, who was close to tears. “You walked in on him showering? Why? Why him?”

“To get revenge, duh,” Layla replied matter of factly. “Did you not get that?”

“I got that alright,” Niall said, bitterly, sitting back and slumping in his seat.

Layla smirked at him; smug about the kind of power she had over him, and pulled out her phone to look busy. It only took Niall another four minutes of pouting before he moved away from our couch to the one Layla was sitting on to talk to her and look over her shoulder to see what she was doing on her phone. Layla, on the other hand, tried to look bothered by it and act like she didn’t like how close he was sitting by her.

It’s been a game between the two of them, as of late, as if it already wasn’t. At the Christmas party, Layla got exceptionally drunk and was out of her mind dancing and laughing at everything anyone was saying. There were even several times when it was just her and Niall dancing, close and intimate, until one of them broke whatever trance they were in and walked away. It had to be maddening for the two of them to constantly tease each other to the point where they literally couldn’t take it. I knew they both liked each other; I was just waiting for one of them to crack and realize that they should do something about it.

Liam walked out a few moments later, dressed and hair quiffed up, glancing over at Niall and Layla nervously. Layla shot him a smug smile and Niall glared at him, shaking his head. Liam knew better and walked over to sit with me and gave me a hug and a kiss in greeting. The others eventually joined us and walked over bearing drinks and cups, passing them around so we could get the party started. It was as though none of us were separated for a good two weeks after seeing each other nearly every day. Everyone fell back into each other, laughing and drinking, having our usual banter.

The same could be said about Harry and I. He held a red cup in his hand and sat down on the seat Liam had just vacated, putting his arm around my shoulder to bring me closer. It felt normal and like we’d done it a thousand times, which we did.

“So, Gallagher,” he said, sipping his cup and then turning to me. “How you been? How was your Christmas?”

“It was good,” I replied. “The whole family got together at our place and we opened presents, had dinner, took a nap, and then got together again for dessert.”

Harry smiled, nodding his head and drumming his fingers against my arm, making it feel a bit ticklish. “Sounds about right. What’d you get for Christmas?”

“Lots of gift cards. Oh and this,” I said, showing off the bracelet on my hand.

“Looks good on you,” Harry said, eyeing me not so subtly. “As do most things.”

“That’s quite a statement,” I countered, smirking.

“I mean it.”

“What if I wore Niall’s clothes?”

“You would look banging.”

I laughed, covering my mouth, and leaning back against his arm. “What if I wore, like, a plastic bag and nothing else?”

Harry chewed his lip and then grinned at me. “Then you’d basically be wearing nothing so that’s even hotter.”

I gasped in surprise at his answer and stared at him with wide eyes until he laughed. “That’s not funny. It’s scandalous. You’ve no shame,” I huffed.

“My mother says that about me when I get super drunk with my great uncle Phil and dance to Shania Twain.”

I snorted and thanked God that I wasn’t drinking anything because I would have spit it right out. “You’re joking.”

“I speak nothing but the truth, babe.”

I giggled again at the mental image and looked at him. “Is that what you did for Christmas?”

He shook his head quickly, flashing his dimples. “That was last Christmas. I behaved this time. We also had a similar family get together and dinner type of thing. Not much else to do in Holmes Chapel, but it felt nice to see everyone.”

“Get anything good?”

“Same as you. Lots of gift cards, but not the bracelet.”

“Maybe we can get you the bracelet with the gift card. You know what this means, don’t you?” I asked grinning.

“Shopping!” he cried, excitedly shaking the two of us.

And yeah, things were definitely back to normal as though nothing had changed. It really hadn’t. We were back to our usual banter, going back and forth, laughing and making stupid comments at each other. It was easy and comfortable as it always was with Harry. I still couldn’t understand why I was jealous of all those girls he had been with when I knew what he was doing. You don’t usually get jealous of your guy friends hooking up with other girls. I knew I never felt that way about Louis or Liam whenever they were ever making out with some girl at parties.

I tried to rationalize it in my head by saying that I wasn’t as close with Louis and Liam as I was with Harry. Yeah, they were some of my best friends, but Harry and I spent a lot more time together. We shared things with each other that we didn’t with other people. I just wasn’t ready to see him get close with other girls.

That was the only explanation.



We reached Tobacco Dock forty minutes later in two cabs, wonderfully drunk and ready to have a good time. It was a lot louder and lot bigger than our usual surroundings, but we all walked in holding hands in a line and tried to stay in one place together. The DJ was playing a combination of house and EDM mixes making the whole crowd jump up on their feet and dance with their hands in the air. It was almost instinctive the way our bodies just started moving with the beat.

We all got glow sticks and waved them up in the air, dancing together. Liv pulled me closer at one point and the two of us screamed along with the music, jumping up and down, getting into the feel of things. It was almost intoxicating to be in such a place where everyone was focused on the music and dancing from the minute they entered. It almost felt like letting go and just freeing yourself because no one was trying to throw out any crazy shapes, everyone was just doing whatever came to mind.

My friends and I danced for hours, taking turns to go one on one with each other, but not for long because we’d always end up laughing. Even Layla and Niall were attached at the hip the entire time, dancing together and throwing their glow sticks up in the air.

A while after, I felt someone wrapping their arms around my waist, the firm press of a solid body against mine, and I stilled. I turned around and found it was Harry. I smiled at him, leaning into his touch and just moving. It felt nice to be held. Almost uninhibiting and reckless to be this close to him without thinking about the fact that we were just friends. Just friends didn’t dance like this, and I knew we were cutting it close with the way I’d been feeling lately and what everyone else had been saying about us. And I knew the two of us were drunk, acting on feelings we didn’t usually express, but I didn’t really care at that point.

His touch was addictive and soft. I could feel his fingers slipping past my shirt, underneath to my skin where his hand splayed across my stomach to make sure I wouldn’t stray too far from his hold. It made me feel dizzy and I giggled, leaning my head back on his shoulder. He smiled down at me, his lips unbearably red and close. When his hands drifted further up my torso, his lips touched gently over the skin of my neck as he pressed a soft kiss there. It sent a shiver up my spine despite the obvious heat in the room not just from dancing, but from this whole exchange itself. Harry’s fingers slid back down again and he stared at me for a moment before leaning in close to my ear.

“Let’s get something to drink,” he said. He pulled back to look me in the eye and I nodded, taking his hand and following him up a set of stairs where they had a bar on a balcony that was serving glow in the dark drinks. Harry ordered two and handed me one before we both stood side by side and looked over at the dance floor on the lower ground.

I could spot Zayn and Zoe, dancing and laughing with an occasional break to just make out. The two of them probably felt a little out of place since this wasn’t really their scene, but they kept up and looked like they were having fun.

I swayed to the music and looked out at the crowd, turning back to Harry to see another girl beside us. She was in a bright red, barely there (it literally consisted of too short shorts and a bra) outfit and seemed to be very taken by Harry if looks were anything to go by. Her eyes were shamelessly raking over his body and he wasn’t oblivious, a smirk on his lips as he tried to play ignorant. She was with her friends, but they were dancing behind her and drinking, while her focus was on Harry.

I turned to look at Harry and his eyes met mine almost at the same time. Our first instincts was to laugh, but we both tried our best not to, even though our faces were scrunching up. It wasn’t that she wasn’t attractive. Generally speaking, the girl was really pretty and she had a great body, but her costume was loud and so were her intentions with the way she was looking at Harry. I wasn’t even sure if the girl had even spoken to Harry. He was too busy looking like hot, leaning up against the wall, and moving along with the beat of the music and drinking.

She eventually moved back towards the bar again and I leaned in close to Harry. “See anything you like?” I asked him, trying hard not to laugh.

“Shut up,” he muttered, laughing. “That’s not funny. She’s a little scary. Hot, but scary.”

“Could be exciting, Styles. She could rock your world.”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe? Her outfit is banging. I wish I had the guts to wear that.”

“It is, I’ll give her that. But she’s not subtle, is she?” Harry asked me.

“Oh, get over yourself. She obviously wants you.”

“She might until she realizes how vanilla I am. She seems like the gutsy, experienced type of girl who wants to be dominated in bed. And I would just disappoint.”

I snorted, leaning my body against his. It was uncharacteristic of me to bring up another girl hooking up with Harry when I clearly didn’t like seeing him with others girls. However, a sick part of me knew that he wouldn’t go for that girl and that he’d shrug off whatever attention she was giving, which made me feel good. Good about the fact that he was choosing to stand here with me rather than chat her up. I didn’t really have enough strength to figure out the meaning behind all these thoughts I was having with all the drinks I’d had, but I was content with just going with it. Going with whatever the two of us were doing because it definitely felt different. The air had been a bit charged between us since the moment I saw him today and it was charged now every time we touched.

Another round of drinks later, our friends joined us to take a break and get something to drink themselves. Layla, Zoe, and Zayn opted for water instead while the others went for the glow in the dark drinks from the bar. We all stood around, talking and cooling off, since we were all sweaty and grimy.

“This is fun,” Liv said, swirling the straw in her drink.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “Should thank Niall since he found out about it and called us.”

“We should. Do you think him and Layla are going to kiss at midnight?”

I laughed and looked over at the two. They weren’t together this time. Layla was talking with Zayn and Zoe, tying her hair up in a bun while Niall was with Louis, swaying and dancing super drunk with a peace sign up in the air.

“I have no idea,” I replied. I turned to look back at Liv and nudged her with my hip. “What about you? Kissing anyone?”

“Liam said he’ll kiss me at midnight,” she said.

I cocked my head to the side and narrowed my eyes at her. “You’re gonna plant one on Payne?”

“There’s nothing wrong with kissing friends at midnight on New Year's Eve. It’s good luck. What about you?”

“I haven’t thought about it,” I said, eyes drifting over to my friends and then to Harry who was now back to talking to the girl in red. She finally ended up saying something to him instead of just staring. It seemed she might do more with the way she was touching him on the arm and chest. She obviously needed a straight jacket or something because who told her that was okay?

I shrugged, looking back at Liv. “Don’t think I’ll be kissing anyone.”

“Really?” she pouted.

“Afraid not.”

“Well, even if you don’t,” Liv reasoned, taking my hands and smiling. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Exactly. I’m not that stressed out about it, anyway.”

“What about Harry, though?”

“What about me?” Harry asked appearing behind Liv, wrapping his arms around her and smiling at me. Liv widened her eyes at me at almost being caught and smiled slyl after a second. I didn’t like that smile of hers. It always meant she was up to no good.

“Nothing. We were just talking,” I replied quickly before she could get any ideas.

“We were actually just talking about midnight kisses,” Liv told Harry, like it was cool to catch him up.

“Oh,” Harry’s face lit up. “Have you got one, Liv?”

She nodded, turning her head to face Harry. “Yes, I do. Blair doesn’t, though. What about you?” She eyed Harry with a critical expression, as though this was life and death.

He shrugged. “Some girl’s been into me all night and I think she wants to kiss me. I don’t know, though. Her name’s Rosie and she’s a bit intense.”

As soon as he’d said that, I started to doubt a few things. I’d always thought that since the year had started I’d gotten to know Harry quite well. Better than most of my friends and maybe his as well, but maybe he wasn’t like he used to be anymore. Maybe hooking up with other girls and having this newfound sense of confidence was changing him to the point where I couldn’t even tell what he really wanted. I’d been so sure that he wasn’t going to do anything with that Rosie girl, but she’d clearly charmed him somehow enough to get him wondering whether or not she should be his midnight kiss.

I couldn’t let my confusion show so I laughed as genuinely as I could. “That’s one way to put it.”

Harry laughed while Liv just looked put off by the whole conversation. I knew what she wanted and I wasn’t surprised that her rom-com loving heart was disappointed. She had been on to Harry and I from the start and she’d been waiting for the day that something would just happen. With all this talk from her end, sometimes it did get me wondering, but Harry was here and he was kissing someone else apparently.

It almost made me mad at Liv for even putting the idea in my head. Liam was kissing her because she didn’t have a midnight kiss. I knew there was nothing romantic between Liam and her, but she still was getting a kiss. As much as I didn’t even want to acknowledge or admit that there was something between Harry and me, I wanted to know why he didn’t want to kiss me at midnight. Why was he choosing some random girl wearing tacky red lingerie in a dark and dingy warehouse full of sweaty people?

Just then Louis called Harry from the bar and he walked over, leaving the two of us alone again. “Where’s the hoe?” Liv asked, looking around the area as soon as he was gone.

“What?” I said, snapping out of my thoughts.

“Where’s the hoe that’s trying to kiss him?”

I burst out laughing, bending over on my knees. “Liv,” I rasped out. “What is wrong with you?”

“Tell me,” she laughed, still scanning the room.

“She’s in the red lingerie,” I replied, getting up into a standing position and leaning against the wall.

Liv’s eyes zeroed in on her and she turned to look at me with disgust. “Is he serious? He’s choosing her over you? That’s gross -- and not because she isn’t hot because hello, but because she’s not you.”

“He’s not choosing anyone over me,” I told her, hoping it would not only convince her, but me, too. “It’s not like we planned to kiss tonight or any night.”

“I hinted at it very hard,” she replied. “He’s not stupid.”

I shrugged, unable to find anything more to say because I really wasn’t sure if Harry got what Liv was trying to hint at. She was very obvious with the way she’d gotten caught and then brought that whole topic about. Did Harry understand her or did he just pretend not to?

We found the other girls and did a quick bathroom break before heading back to the boys. It was a half hour till midnight and the place was buzzing with excitement to get the countdown started. We all trooped back onto the dance floor from the bar. This time Rosie followed Harry onto the dance floor with us and was practically draping her body all over him.

Harry caught my eye and made a face and I smiled, hoping it was casual enough before turning away. So, he was actually going to go through with it and kiss her. Cool. I tried shaking it off and just danced with everyone else until the countdown started. People were screaming out the numbers starting from twenty, jumping up on their feet. I saw Harry trying to make his way over to the group and grabbing on to Louis so that he could join us, even though Rosie was holding on like a leech.

It got a bit calmer once we got to ten and counted down. It was as if everyone was waiting for the place to blow up as we got closer to one. Everyone was finding their partner who they’d be kissing at midnight. Zayn and Zoe were cuddled up while Liam and Liv were laughing too hard to even try. Louis had found some girl he’d been talking and dancing with and Niall and Layla were awkwardly standing with a few feet of distance between them, trying to act like they didn’t want to kiss each other. And when I looked at Harry and Rosie, I was surprised to see him staring back at me.

“Five!”

I tilted my head to the side, looking back at Harry, with a questioning smile.

“Four!”

Harry smiled back, only to have his face be pulled back to look at Rosie.

“Three!”

I turned away so that I could avoid looking at them when they kissed and turned back to the others.

“Two!”

Only to casually turn back again because I was obviously a fan of self-destruction.

“One!”

Harry caught my eye, turning away from Rosie again, and the whole place erupted in cheers and screams around us. He grinned at me and screamed along with everyone while Rosie stared at him, waiting for her kiss. She pulled on his shirt and he looked down at her but turned back to me, laughing comically like he couldn’t take her seriously anymore. I tried not to smile too hard at that and looked back at my other friends.

Everyone was kissing around me aside from a few single people here and there just surrounded by friends. Zayn and Zoe were making out just like Louis and his girl, Liv and Liam shared a chaste kiss, and Niall surprisingly placed a kiss on Layla’s cheek, causing her turn a faint shade of pink and smile. I giggled, running over to her and giving both of them a hug. The others joined us soon after, exchanging hugs, while the music started up again to get the party going.

Harry appeared beside me and smiled, leaning close. “Let’s get out of here,” he said. “Rosie’s pissed.”

“Why’s she pissed?” I asked him.

“Wouldn’t kiss her,” he shrugged. “Come on.”

I tried to ignore the fluttering feeling in my stomach and nodded my head, taking his hand once again and walking out through the throngs of people who were still dancing. When we finally stepped outside, it was raining heavily, but I let out a long sigh of relief. While it was fun inside, the air was stuffy and smoky, full of different smells and it felt good to finally breathe clean oxygen. Harry turned to me and smiled, walking backwards out further on to the street, getting soaked.  

“I can’t believe that just happened,” he said, snorting.

“What?” I asked, following him.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled looking down at his feet before looking back up at me. “I kind of want to leave. Do you want to go, too?”

I bit my lip and contemplated. On one hand, all our friends were back there and this party was definitely going to go on till the early morning, but standing out here with the rain washing away all the sweat and grime of the night was making me feel really good. I also just kind of wanted to get away from the loud music and be with Harry. No parties or girls or anything. Just me and him.

Plus, it felt like he was choosing me over this entire night, which was nice. I didn’t want to get ahead of myself about anything, but he skipped out on a kiss and a shag on New Years just to walk out of there and ask me to go home with him. How could I say no?

I nodded my head and Harry and I started to slowly walk away from the warehouse.

“Why didn’t you kiss her?” I asked him, tucking in the strands of my hair behind my ear. If only I had a rubber band to tie up my hair. It felt heavier as it got wet from the rain.

Harry laughed softly, his dimples deep and prominent. “It didn’t feel right for some reason. Besides, you know how I felt about her.”

“Yeah, but she was basically throwing herself at you and you seemed to be interested at some point.”

He shrugged. “I wasn’t necessarily interested as I was just passing time. She approached me and started talking to me, so I just went along with it. Then when I wouldn’t kiss her, she got really pissed, and I just didn’t want to stay anymore.”

“Oh,” I said. “Wow.”

“I also kind of started to feel stuffy after a while. It was way hot in there, so when Rosie started yelling at me, I was just like I have to leave. I didn’t want to go home alone, though, and who better than you?”

I laughed, stepping over a puddle. “I’m glad. I felt the same, even though it was fun.”

“Yeah, it was fun. Definitely different.”

I hummed in response as we continued to walk, neither of us bothered by the fact that we were soaked completely. Our hands brushed as we swung them back and forth and I didn’t realize until then that neither of us were wearing a coat. It also occurred to me that it was probably an hour or two to walk back home. We were fucked, but surprisingly, I didn’t care much. I felt elated, still drunk from the drinks and from the excitement of this night. Also happy to just be with Harry.

“Any resolutions?” I asked him.

Harry turned to me, eyelashes clumped up and dark from the rain. “I think maybe work out a bit more. I slacked a bit last year. What about you?”

“I’m not sure yet,” I told him. “You want to help me?”

“Okay,” he nodded, smiling. “Anything you hated about this past year that you’d want to change?”

I thought about it and actually had no complaints. Things had more or less worked out for the better for me. I had a great set of friends, my family was healthy, I was on the right track school wise, and all I could hope for was that the upcoming year be just as nice. “No,” I said to Harry. “I’ve had a pretty amazing fucking year.”

Harry grinned cheekily. “Because you met me?”

I shrugged, noncommittally, like he wasn’t completely right. “I don’t know. You might have had a tiny, itty, bitty part in it?”

“A tiny, itty, bitty part?” Harry asked, laughing. “You sure about that?”

“Maybe a tad bit more,” I concluded.

“Oh, alright,” he said pretending like he wasn’t bothered by it and could care less.

“Harry,” I said softly, not being able to stop giggling.

“Yeah?”

“I’m really fucking glad I met you,” I said, full on laughing now.

He turned to look at me, smirking at me as I laughed. “You just said that I only had a tiny, itty, bitty part in making your year great.”

“I might have underplayed it a little,” I replied.

“Yeah, you did,” he agreed, laughing with me. “And in case you were wondering, you definitely helped make my year, too.”

“Yeah?” I asked.

He nodded, stopping in his tracks and turning to face me. “You’ve literally been the highlight of my year, B. I couldn’t have asked for someone better.”

“Harry,” I whispered, speechless from depth of what he was saying.

“No,” he shook his head. “Let me finish. Like, you’ve helped me through a breakup from a relationship that I thought I was going to have forever. You helped me realize that life doesn’t always work out the way that we planned, but that doesn’t mean it’s the worst thing to have happened. Every cloud has a silver lining, right, and you helped me realize that.”

I smiled at him as he took my hands in his.

“And I’m just glad I have you in my life because you make me feel like I’ll be okay. You’ve seen me at some of my lowest and you’ve helped me figure out a way to make it all not so sucky. And when you hug me, Blair, I feel like everything’s okay. Like I’m okay and nothing’s wrong.”

“Well, then what are you waiting for?” I laughed, feeling hysterical and overwhelmed from how much I was feeling for this curly headed idiot in front of me. “Come hug me.”

Harry grinned, pulling me into his arms and holding on tight. I rested my head where his neck and shoulder met and tried to put everything I had into this hug so he’d know how much I cared about him. What I’d do and how far I’d go just to see him happy. You don’t meet a lot of people in your life who you could have such intense, deep connections with. Only a handful, so when you do meet them, it’s important that they know how you feel and how much they mean to you.

I loosened my arms and pulled away slightly so I could look at Harry, even though his arms were still tight around my waist. I smiled when our green eyes locked and we were just so close it almost seemed silly to not do anything.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” he said, slow and sure like I was going to let him, which I was. How could I not when it had crossed my mind once or maybe fifty times? And it didn’t help that there was something extremely hot about how he was so fucking self assured and smug, exactly how I figured he would be. That’s just Harry. He was confident and charming, able to get anyone or anything he wants if he set his mind to it.

I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that this was all sudden and a bit out of place, but Harry was here and he was so close I could see the how green his eyes were. I nodded just so he would do it already and I could stop thinking about his lips and all the things he could with them.

Harry moved one of his hands further up my back and pulled me close once again, capturing my lips with his. My mind instantly shut up about everything and anything other than Harry’s lips on mine, moving slow and perfect, just the way I liked it. My hands wound tighter around him, moving up to twine through his hair. Harry’s lips parted mine to kiss me deeper and I could hear myself making soft noises through all the static in my head.

And I felt like I should have known that kissing Harry would make me want to keep kissing him for days. He was both so tender and aggressive, that it left me shaky on my feet. I had to lean on him to steady myself and stay upright. Almost regretful when it started to fade out and we were both out of breath as we pulled away.

“Better than any other midnight kiss,” he whispered, bringing one of his hands to cup my cheek.

I blushed, leaning into the touch, not wanting him to stop holding me. Maybe ever.

“Want to go home?” he asked.

I nodded, a bit too eagerly and Harry grinned, pulling away unfortunately to hail a cab so we wouldn’t have to walk for hours. He held my hand however, while he found one and the two of us got in. Once he told the driver the address, he sat close to me, still not letting go.

The closer we got to home, the more I felt like coming out of my skin and bursting from how hot things had gotten within a matter of minutes. I could feel the heat radiating between us even though we’d walked through cold rain for a good half hour. My skin warmed up every time he touched me with his fingertips and I could still feel his lips on mine. It was maddening and I’d never felt like this before. Like months and months of subconscious, pent up frustration finally breaking the surface.  

I didn’t know what “going home” mean to Harry, but I couldn’t deny that what I wanted was more. I wasn’t sure if what was happening was because we were drunk or if it would have happened either way. All I knew was that Harry kissed me and he was taking me home, not Rosie or anyone else. That’s all that mattered to me at that point. Seeing him with other girls was hard and it was something I tried to forget, but it wasn’t made easier.

The driver pulled up in front of Harry’s flat and we climbed out. Harry quickly paid him before turning to look at me.

“You wanna come up, right?” he asked, voice soft and sexy at the same time. I didn’t even know Harry could sound like that. I didn’t know anyone could sound like that.

“Yeah,” I replied.

Harry grinned, taking my hand and pulling me in for another kiss. This one was a lot more chaste, but hard and playful. He led me to the elevator where he crowded me against the wall, pressing soft kisses on my neck.

“Fuck,” I groaned when he kissed a sensitive spot. I fisted his shirt in my hands until he looked up at me again, smiling. The elevator doors opened and Harry walked backwards towards his flat, his grip on me not loosening. I giggled, pushing him against his door and kissed him hotly so he’d know just how insane he was making me. I hadn’t wanted anyone this much in so long and I couldn’t even wrap my head around the fact that it was Harry.  

“Shit,” he groaned, pulling away to open the door. He managed to unlock it and the two of us stumbled in, kissing and trying to make our way through the dark. “My room?”

I nodded quickly, pulling him back in. Harry maneuvered the two of us to his bedroom and closed it behind him. “Want you so bad right now,” he mumbled against my lips, pushing me on to his bed before crawling up on top of me.

I scoffed. “Is that your dirty talk, Styles?”

“You complaining?” he asked, trailing kisses down the column of neck and then pushing aside the straps of my t-shirt and bra. His lips were soft and tender, but felt like fire against my skin. I let out soft noises of approval, urging him to keep going.

“Just thought it’d be hotter,” I countered eventually.

Harry pulled away, smirking down at me as his hands spread my legs apart so he could fit between them. His other hand was flat against the space next to my head and he looked breathtaking with the way he was hovering over me, his lips a dark shade of pink. His silver cross chain that he always wore was dangling down over me, swinging back and forth.

“I don’t know what dirty talk you’re used to,” he started to say while running his hand up my thigh towards the center. “But I can assure you that I’ll do things you’ll never forget.”

There was something so fucking attractive about how cocky he was being and it was almost irritating. His expression, his body language and that self-satisfied attitude that came with his smug attitude and comments drove me insane. It didn’t help that he had a fucking smirk on his lips, as always, and I wanted to both punch and kiss it off of him.

I pulled on his chain and leaned up to meet him halfway for a filthy kiss where our tongues met before our lips. Harry moaned, his fingers sliding over my jean shorts and fiddling with the button. He managed to unbutton it and help me pull it off. His hands roamed back up over my knickers and he looked down when he noticed it was white lace.

“Fuck,” he growled, looking back up at me. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve been thinking about you in lace since I saw them in your drawer? So fucking hot, B.”

“You have?” I asked, running my hand through his hair while the other held onto his bicep. “Wanna take if off?”

He smiled, nodding as his fingers pressed up against my slit.

“Take your clothes off, too, then,” I said, not liking the fact that I was the only one getting naked.

He lifted himself up onto his knees and pulled off his shirt and then his skinny jeans. Once he was clad in his boxers, he situated himself back between my legs and kissed me deeply, hands running up my thighs again. His fingers traced the outline of my lace and he slipped in his middle finger, stroking softly. I knew I’d been wet since we were in the lift, feeling warm between my legs, so it wouldn’t be long until I came. Not with the way Harry was touching, kissing and consuming every single one of my senses.

His finger stroked over, sliding up and down, spreading the wetness till he pressed down on my clit. I couldn’t help but let out a drawn out moan. His hot breath fanned my cheek as he circled over it a few times, making something hot curl up in my stomach. Harry looked down at me almost in amazement as his finger moved down and he curled it inside, sliding in easily.

“You look so pretty like this,” he breathed. “Thought about you like this all night. Wanted to take you apart and watch you come.”

“Harry,” I moaned almost desperately as he pumped his finger in and out. “Please.”

He leaned down, trailing soft kisses on my lips and then cheeks, before moving down to my collarbones, where he sucked on the skin there, biting and licking occasionally. His finger slid back out and he moved back up to my clit, rubbing over it while I panted underneath him. When he bit down on the love bite he left, I came with his name on my tongue. Harry moved back up to kiss me again, his fingers not moving from where they were. I writhed around, feeling oversensitive, but so content.

“You alright?” he asked.

I nodded, smiling at him. I kissed him for what seemed like the hundredth time that night and made him shuffle around so he was flat on his back. I smiled at him shyly, taking off my knickers and throwing them on the floor beside the bed before climbing over on top of him. He was ridiculously hard underneath his boxers from what I could see, watching me with an awestruck expression as though he couldn’t believe it.

“You going to come over here?” he asked, voice gravelly and deep.

“I’m trying to put on a show,” I told him, moving over so that I was straddling his hips.

“I can see that,” he chuckled, moving his hands over to hold me steady. I moved my hand down to the waistband of his boxers and pulled it down to let his cock out. I swiped my thumb over the tip, spreading his pre-come, which was practically dripping down to his base, pumping it in my hand. Harry tipped his head back, eyes rolling back in pleasure and I smiled, pleased with myself for doing that.

“This good for you?” I asked him, pumping him in my hand as smoothly as I could. I couldn’t help but wonder if this was how he reacted with all those other girls. Was this the same for him or was it different with me? I didn’t do hook ups with people very often and I wanted to know if I was doing okay, almost like I wanted approval.

“Fuck, yeah,” he managed to let out, his voice practically coming out as a growl. “Don’t know if I’ll last long, though.”

There was something about seeing Harry coming apart and getting wrecked right before my eyes that did something to me. I felt like I could go again so I pushed my hips forward and let his dick slide down my center, so close to slipping inside.

“Fuck,” Harry moaned deeply when he realized what I was doing. His hands gripped my face and pulled me forward for a deep kiss, helping me grind down against his dick continuously. It was all so much all at once, but still not enough. The only sounds that could be heard in the room was the two of us breathing and moaning against each other until one of Harry’s hands moved down to grip my bum. “I’m gonna come.”

I moved back slightly and put my hand back on him again, pumping once and then twice before hot streams of white pulsed out all over my hand and Harry’s stomach and he let out a throaty groan. I watched as he slowly came down from his high and then looked at me. “C’mere,” he said, extending one hand out. I moved back up close to him. His palm rested on the back of my neck and he pulled me close to kiss him. My body instinctively rubbed down on his thigh a few more times until I felt myself coming again, feeling flushed from head to toe.

Harry chuckled, unbelievably as I panted in his mouth, trying to get my breath back. “We’re all sticky,” he said.

“I know,” I whispered back, laughing with him.

“Hold on,” he said, getting up out of bed before walking out to the bathroom and then coming back with a damp flannel, wiping himself and then handing it to me. Once clean, he pulled up his covers, making sure I was comfortable before giving me one last kiss and curling up beside me.