Hospital Beds and Memories

Cameron jumped as footsteps approached us, but they only continued walking further down the hall and to the bathrooms. As he turned to look around once again, I slowly and carefully opened the box only to be met with a beautiful silver ring with a big clear diamond on it, surrounded my some smaller ones, and a couple more on the band itself. Holy shit.

“Look, Tay’s coming over for New Years since she can’t make it now. I don’t want to do it then, since that seems too cliché and too stressful, but I was thinking a couple of days after, before she has to fly back to New York.” Cameron ran a hand through his hair. “I’m just too afraid to lose it. I’d never forgive myself if I did that.”

“Are you actually going to propose to her?” I gasped, making the lid shut with a quiet snap.

He nodded weakly. “It’s kinda nerve-wracking, but I know I want to do it. I also always thought you and Jack would be the first ones to take that step -- yes, I know that you don’t want to, but still -- but unless Jack has something planned these next two weeks…”

I opened my mouth to tell Cam about the time when Jack and I drove to Florida and Jack begged me to marry him, but I decided it was best to keep my mouth shut about that for now. Instead, I wrapped my arms around Cam and hugged him while whispering, “I’ll keep it for you for now and I’ll even keep it a secret from Jack if you want. It might be difficult, but I’ll do it.”

“Thank you,” he mumbled back and gently rocked us from side to side, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I told him confidently.

We broke apart after that and made our way back inside. He had to go up on the stage to start his performance, while I had to survive the sea of family members right in front of me. I sighed and started my way through the many people I did and did not know. At first, all went well since it was mostly people who were in my closer extended family, but when I went further and there were more people who didn’t really know me, the questions started.

I had been right by thinking that many people had been watching me when Jack and I had been making our way to the table before. However, it wasn’t exactly for the reason that I thought. You see, while I thought it was because they thought I finally had a boyfriend, it was actually because they all thought we were engaged. So, yeah, that was not true, but only telling one person wasn’t enough. I got stopped countless of times to be asked the same questions over and over again: when are you getting married? Where are you getting married? Did you already find my dress? Was my mom going to make the wedding cake? How did Jack pop the question?

And when I’d tell them we weren’t engaged, they’d point at the ring on my left ring finger and ask me what it was. I’d then have to explain that it was just a promise ring. Then the question of us ‘saving’ ourselves for each other until after we married rose up. Let me tell you, it is really awkward to explain to your family that that isn’t the case either. Finally, I’d have to tell them that Jack gave it to me pretty early on to show he was committed even though he was going to be gone for long periods of time (I left out the whole getting beaten up thing). And that when they sort of understood… or at least I hoped. I always ended the conversation with that Jack and I weren’t getting married anytime soon if ever. Before they could try to convince me that it was nice to get married, I left to get stopped by the next person.

When I finally made it back to my boyfriend and his friends, Cam had already finished getting ready and was already way past singing his first song. I let out a whine as I let myself fall onto a chair next to Jack and rested my head on his shoulder. After the short while we had been here, I was already completely tired out. I talked to more people that day than I had the rest of the year. It was a record.

“All these people are talking to me, acting like they’re really close to me, and I don’t even know them! I was expecting an occasional person to want to speak with me, but not this entire room!” I groaned before Jack could ask what was wrong.

“Oh,” he nodded as if that explained everything, “what makes them think you’re suddenly so interesting? When did that happen? Did I miss something?”

I sloppily slapped his cheek lightly, not thinking his joke was as funny as he thought it was. “Apparently -- I don’t know who started the rumor -- we are engaged, which seems pretty far-fetched to me, don’t you think?”

In the corner of my eye, I could see Alex shrug. He probably thought there was still a possibility of it happening, but he didn’t know about all the problems and fights Jack and I had about it. I was certain that Jack wasn’t going to try proposing again anytime soon, but how would anybody else know that?

“Hang on, I missed the proposal?” Jack asked in a fake weak voice, acting as if he had just missed an important meeting which would lead to serious consequences.

I snorted and lifted my head back up. “I think I did too. But, I had to go around telling everybody that it isn’t true, which then sparks more questions. It’s like my life is some drama reality TV show for them to watch.”

“I’m kinda happy nobody decided to come up here and ask me instead… that would have been pretty awkward.”

“If only I had said yes back in Florida,” I laughed without thinking, ‘then I’d just be like ‘bitch, guess what!’.”

“Wait, what?” Alex interrupted, looking between Jack and me with wide eyes.

I only realized what I had said then. Dread filled my stomach as I remembered that Jack and I decided to never bring it up again, that it was a mistake. I tried to keep calm, but my voice still sounded a little squeaky. “Huh?”

“Oh, come on,” Lisa urged, leaning forward a little like Alex, “you know exactly what you said.”

“I do?”

“Yes,” Alex insisted and wiggled his eyebrows to make me continue.

It was like Jack had completely frozen in time, not really sure what to do but also not wanting to show how uncomfortable he was. We could try everything, but they’d still force it out of us. I didn’t want to embarrass Jack.

“Ok, fine,” I sighed, causing Jack to snap his eyes towards me, “in Disney World, Jack fake proposed to me with a Ring Pop, but I had to say no because he didn’t get me the blue raspberry flavor.”

“Really?” Alex frowned, sounding very skeptical of my story.

I knew the event itself could be very believable, but the fact that I was trying to hide it at first made no sense at all. Plus, you’d think Jack would have told Alex about that by now because Jack would find something like that absolutely hilarious. Like, he’d love to make a joke like that and then tell the whole world to show how funny he was. And then again, I probably would have said ‘yes’ to play along with the joke. My lie didn’t really add up, but it was going to have to work.

“Why would I be lying?” I challenged, trying to switch the guilt from me to him.

“Because…” he seemed to have many ideas, but something distracted him and made him turn his head into another direction, “I’m sorry, is nobody hearing this right now? How the hell does your brother sing like that?”

I frowned as Cam finished off singing Just Another Day by Sam Cooke And The Soul Stirrers. To me, it was usual to hear my brother sing with a powerful voice. Although it was obvious that he could sing through the songs he sang with his band, he still had so much talent that wasn’t shown. It took most people by surprise, but Cam had always been singing as far as I knew, and he could do quite a lot with his voice.

“He used to sing these songs a lot with our grandpa, so he’s practically been singing since he was five or six years old. I don’t really know, I guess 18 years of practice helps. He’s always been the more musically talented one out of the two of us.” I said to answer his question, not really knowing if it actually did.

“I swear to god, we need him to get to tour with us!” Alex drilled into Jack as if he could make it happen. “If he sings one more song that makes my jaw drop, it’s settled. We still need somebody to come out with us to Europe next year. I’m completely serious about this.”

“Cam’s going to freak out.” Jack snickered, already looking forward to seeing how my brother was going to reach. He was either going to freeze completely or he was going to squeal out like a little girl.

“Well, we first need to settle everything for the tour itself and then our managers will have to contact each other, but I’ll talk to him about it already.” Alex continued to think about it, showing that he really was serious about it happening.

He turned completely quiet and his eyes snapped towards the stage when he heard the music start up again. Quickly taking out his phone, he started recording Cameron waiting to start. It wasn’t much longer until he started singing a beautiful Frank Sinatra song: My Way.

And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

His voice wasn’t as deep as Frank Sinatra’s and this song wasn’t as difficult as the previous, but Alex still seemed entranced.

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way
Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way

For some reason, hearing Cam sing this made me so much prouder of him and what he was planning on doing. I still couldn’t believe he had grown up so much from the lazy guy who needed me to take care of him 24/7. He had actually gone out to do something with his life, met an amazing girl, and after just a few months of dating was already going to propose.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way

Yes, it was my way

After every song, my whole family would clap a little even though they hadn’t listened to the song. It was just a polite acknowledgment and thanking him for it, but most people already knew how talented he was and weren’t going to stop their conversation just to listen fully to what was supposed to be background music. Alex, however, was basically freaking out. He stopped the recording and clapped along with everybody, trying to contain his own excitement and not clap too loud or start whistling.

“Ok, when is he getting off that stage because we need him in Europe!” Alex stuffed his phone in his pocket and waited expectantly.

However, it took another while before Cam was done. Alex was busy texting someone, barely looking up from his phone. I suspected it to be their manager. There was no way Alex would be so set on something only for it to lead to him forgetting. Sure, he was often late to things, but that didn’t mean he would easily shrug off something like this.

So, while Alex was busy doing that, Jack, Lisa and I just had some random conversations. She didn’t bring up the whole marriage slip up, which I was pretty happy about. I could tell that she also hadn’t believed me, but she probably also understood this was something Jack and I didn’t really want to talk about. I mean, if we would have happily chatted away about it, I wouldn’t have given such a lame attempt at a lie while trying to make it sound as realistic as possible. Something had happened between Jack and me, but we had ignored it and later ‘talked’ about it. There was no need for other people to know about it. It wasn’t just embarrassing and upsetting for him, but it also made me feel uncomfortable.

“Hey,” somebody said from behind me as hands were strongly put on my shoulders.

I looked up to see who said person was only to be met with my dad who had appeared out of nowhere. I smiled back, realizing that this was the first time I had seen him since we had gotten here. Normally, I’d spot my dad in no time -- something left over from being a child -- but he had been hiding this time.

“Hello, Ancestor. What can I do for you today?” I replied, sticking my tongue up at him to annoy him a little.

He rolled his eyes and moved one of his hands from my shoulder to Jack’s, causing him to choke on his drink in shock (I wasn’t sure if it was because Jack was secretly a little afraid of my dad or because he wasn’t expecting somebody to touch him so suddenly). “So, a lot of people have been asking me about your so-called engagement, but I’ve been saying that it hasn’t even happened. Just wanted to check that I’m not spreading any lies.”

“No, you haven’t, but somebody else obviously has,” I huffed as Jack nodded along to show that he was agreeing, “I don’t know who.”

“Ok, good, so I haven’t missed out on something,” my dad sighed out in relief before reaching out for my glass of wine. He brought it to his lips and took a sip, making me gasp at his actions. However, bad karma got him as he frowned in disgust. “How are you drinking this?!”

“Not everyone can afford sixty dollar glasses of wine.” I shrugged and took the glass back from him.

“Are you all drinking this?” He directed towards Jack, Alex, and Lisa.

Alex looked up from his phone, only now noticing that somebody had joined us. He looked around the table confused as his eyes flashed from object to object and from face to face when he had no idea what was going on. Lucky for him, Lisa actually had been paying attention, sparing his some of the awkwardness.

“I'm not.” She held up the slightly more expensive cocktail Alex had bought her instead of the wine we were all drinking. “Alex is, though.”

“Ok, I’m getting you guys something better,” my dad insisted.

Before I could tell him that he didn’t need to, that we actually didn’t mind it (to us the wine didn’t taste much worse than any usual store bought wine). Maybe my dad could afford all these expensive wines that were imported from strange places around the world and drink it whenever he wanted, but we couldn’t, let alone me. I didn’t want my dad going around and paying for everything I needed. He didn’t need to go around and showing it off to everybody. I knew that that wasn’t his intention, but it just kinda came off that way. He always wanted to help, but in the process, he just sounded a bit like a douchebag. My dad was the least douchebaggy person I had ever met.

He came back a couple of minutes later with a tray full of drinks. It was an assortment of a couple glasses of wine, along with two other drinks, and six shots. This was what I meant with how it seemed like he was trying to rub it in everybody’s face. You see, any normal person that would offer to buy drinks wouldn’t go out and get so many, especially at the price they offered here. My dad, however, didn’t really seem to understand that. He thought he was just being nice by getting us a couple of things. I knew that, Jack understood it as well after a while, but I hoped Alex and Lisa did as well.

“Why did you buy six shots?” I asked innocently, hoping there was actually a good reason behind it other than that he just wanted to buy them for us. Plus, six was quite a peculiar number.

“One for everybody here, one for Cam, one for me,” he told me as he handed them out and kept his in his hand.

“For you?” Jack gasped with wide eyes.

“You think I can’t do it because I’m in my fifties?”

Jack was quick to defend himself, not wanting any trouble. “No, of course not--”

“You’re old, dude,” I told my dad straight up, turning it all into a joke.

“Watch it!” He pointed a finger at with the hand holding the shot glass before quickly drinking it and putting the glass back on the table without so much as flinching.

“I get it now.” Jack noticed with wonder, nodding his head at my dad’s actions. “Ireland totally got her alcohol tolerance from you!”

“I’m not so sure about that…” Dad said skeptically, looking over the crowd a little until his eyes stopped in one specific position. He turned to me and said, “your mom just saw me take that shot… I’m going to be in so much trouble. But, first…” he handed me an envelope with my and Jack’s names on it. I quickly hid it in my purse as well before Jack could see clearly.

And with that he quickly merged into the crowd, disappearing once again.

“So, that was my dad…” I breathed in and shook my head at the drinks he bought us.

“Yeah… I sorta missed that,” Alex said, putting his phone down for the first time since he had gotten it out.

“Maybe if you weren’t so busy texting you would have realized,” Lisa scolded, taking the phone from its position on the table and slipping it into her purse.

Before Alex could talk back, Cameron came back looking completely exhausted. He looked down at the shot that hadn’t been given to anybody at the table at gestured towards it. “Is this mine?”

“Yeah,” I nodded and gave him the go-ahead sign, “dad got it for you.”

He gave me a small motion to show he heard what I said before drinking it in one go and wincing at the pain of the strong alcohol going down his throat.

And that was when Alex decided to drop the bomb on him. “I was wondering if you wanted to tour with us when we go to Europe during fall next year?”

Cam froze up and stared at Alex for a while. He didn’t blink and his limbs were stiff. It was almost like he had turned into a statue. But then he reached out for my shot and drunk it as well, making me hit his arm.

“What the fuck!” He exclaimed when the burning liquid went down his throat once again.

Next year was going to be the best year for him ever. He was going to propose, tour with Pierce The Veil, play for the entirety of Warped Tour, and now he was also going to tour with All Time Low?

And what was I doing? Well, I was just going to work at my mom’s cake shop.