Year 3

So the text didn't have any intent. Well, it did, but it's possible to interpret it without any intent. Ever since I sent the text though, I feel like the dynamic has changed. I'm really scared because I really want to be friends with this person. If we don't at least become decent friends, I think this will literally break me as a person. I didn't think any girl could break me romantically, much less as a friend. But I think my logic here is that, if this is what I get for stepping out of my comfort zone, then I shouldn't ever do this again. Because I get attached and want to be friends with someone, and they don't want to be friends with me, it hurts. It reminds me of an office quote "I'm sorry I annoyed you with my friendship."

I really don't think I'll break up with my current girlfriend yet. I do intend to, but it's unnecessary stress. I KNOW it's not right, but it's what's best. I still like her and love her, but I think I wasn't a complete person when we met and I think in hindsight, I jumped into this relationship too suddenly. I wasn't finished exploring my own hobbies and enjoying the things I like to do and meeting new people. I like her, but she's like a safety net, and I don't think I can do all the things I want when I know that she will always be there for me. I'm scared though that if things end, they won't be the same. This is a very large risk I'm taking, but I think we both need it to grow as people.

My other friend I've been talking to about my issues is super chill. She's down-to-earth and a dope ass friend. I'm not saying I like her (I don't), but she's just a cool person. We went rock climbing the other day and we've been meeting and talking about our relationship problems with each other. Like honestly, turned out to be one of the best people I've met this year so far.