Better for You

"Come on Izzy!" Abby said while shaking my arm repeatedly, "You're not skipping class, not today.”

"But I don't feel well!" I protested, rubbing my hand on my stomach and faking my best 'ill' face.

"Izzy; you're not even close to convincing me; at least put some effort into it. Now get up and shower because you smell." Abby instructed and I rolled my eyes.

"But I'm tired!" I groaned.

"Well then you shouldn't have stayed up until 4 am watching movies last night should you?" Abby told me which shut me up as I lowered my eyes and pouted - Zac Efron’s blue eyes and the comfort of all three High School Musical movies were too enticing.

"Besides, Niall's coming over today and so unless you want to be in the same room as us while we're having sex then I'd suggest you go to class."

"Ew, you're the devil I swear." I muttered, scrunching up my nose as I lazily rubbed my eyes and got out of bed, immediately missing the warmth of my sheets.

I grabbed a white, floral crop top with a black skirt, some socks, my black booties and my toiletries and towel before heading out of the dorm and towards the showers.

I had spent as long as I could in the shower, but when my hands started to prune I knew it was sadly the time to vacate the heavenly vicinity of the shower. I sighed, running a hand through my hair to ensure that all of the conditioner was out before eventually getting out.

"How was your shower?" Abby asked brightly as I made my way towards my bed. I was still so tired that I didn't reward Abby with an answer, but instead just glared at her. It was 8 o'clock. 8. I had been running on little sleep lately and now all of the sleepless nights were starting to catch up with me, and I had no answer for them.

I had managed to have a few conversations with Mike as well this week where we were able to move past the awkward situation of our break up and just talk as two old friends. It was nice to talk to Mike like we used and it filled me with nostalgia as we reminisced through all of our memories together. I had also made Mike promise me that if he ever needed to talk to me that he would, no matter what time it was, which he agreed to.

"Well for what it's worth, I like your outfit." Abby told me and I furrowed my brows slightly as I looked at her. It was no secret that my fashion taste had changed. I didn't wear the same clothes as before; they felt too much like my old naive self. The events that had happened at the party two weeks ago had changed me.

I had learnt my lesson about not trusting Harry Styles, and to stop trying to help and see the good in people. I had learnt that second chances should not be granted. And I had promised myself that I would begin getting over Harry Styles which I planned on doing by hauling myself in my room and watching movies full of men that I could crush on and plan my future with.

"Thanks." I answered smiling slightly as I threw my damp hair up in a messy bun. Abby had noticed my change in personality, in fact most of our group had but no-one mentioned it. "I'm going to go now, see you in a bit." I told Abby, as I picked my phone up from the charger, and then grabbed my bag.

I quickly sent Andy a text saying that I'd meet her in Starbucks in around 5 minutes before getting in my car and driving towards Starbucks, having to constantly remind myself to drive on the right side of the road.

I arrived at Starbucks within a couple of minutes and walked inside to find Andy slumped in a seat at the back corner of the room. I walked over to her and slid into the chair opposite her, resting my hands on top of the table. "What's up with you?" I asked and she looked up at me with tired eyes.

“Didn’t sleep much, too much going on at the moment” Andy answered, before taking a large gulp of her coffee and filling me in on her recent encounter with her sister who was stressing out about all of her wedding plans.

After having a large coffee I was not laughing rainbows, but I wasn't feeling quite so tired which had improved my mood; a little. I sighed as I opened the door to the classroom and saw Harry and his jerk friends hanging around his chair, which also happened to be right next to my chair. Great; note the sarcasm.

I inhaled a deep breath before strutting to my chair and turned it around so that my back was facing Harry, and I was giving my full attention to Andy.

In the middle of a conversation with Andy about Louis’s recent date with a mystery girl that he was refusing to give details on, when a couple of stupidly beautiful guys who looked vaguely familiar walked up to us. “Hey, you’re Andy and Izzy right?” A boy with brown hair and electric blue eyes asks as he gives me a friendly smile which I return.

“Uhm, yeah, no, we’re Andy and Izzy; do we know you?” I stuttered, trying to keep my tone sounding friendly as my eyes flicker between the two boys and Andy, who is blushing furiously as she looks at the other boy with short brown hair and eyes which were an enticing shade of a hazelnut brown.

“We were at your surprise party that you had - I think that you were fairly wasted by the time that we got talking.” The blue eyed boy tells me, before continuing, “I’m Adam and this is James by the way” he says and flashes me a smile which showcases his pearly whites and handsome features and yet all that I can think of is the fact that he’s missing the dimpled smile that Harry models so beautifully.

“Oh right, yes of course - Adam and John” I lie, pretending that I remembered them from the party.

“You have no idea who we are don’t you?” The blue eyed boy named Adam asks with a smirk, causing me to blush and purse my lips.

“No, I’m sorry I kind of drank quite a lot that night.” I tell him laughing and he playfully shakes his head at me in disappointment.

“A law student illegally drinking underage, how scandalous” Adam quips and I raise my hands in mock innocence as Mr Richards walk in causing Adam and James to walk away and back to my seats, not before Adam smiled and winked at me though.

“Oh my goodness what was that?” Andy asks me with wide eyes as she eyed me curiously.

“What?” I asked, sitting down in my seat, turning my body away from Harry’s seat beside me so that I was facing Andy entirely.

“You and Adam,” she stated and as I went to deny whatever it was that she was insinuating she added,

“Oh come on you cannot deny that chemistry?! It was like you two just forgot about James and I.” Andy told me as I heard Harry’s chair scraping loudly behind me as he sat down.

Adam seemed very nice and was obviously incredibly good looking but I wasn’t feeling any other feelings of attraction towards him. “Yeah, well he was very nice.” I told Andy and she raised an eyebrow smiling at me.

“If you two are going to spend the whole lecture gossiping about boys then why are you even here?” An irritated velvety voice grumbled beside me, and I turned to face Harry frowning in response as I faced his beautifully hardened face and clenched jaw.

“The lecture hasn’t even started it and we weren’t gossiping, we were having a conversation before you interrupted us.” I bit back at Harry, rolling my eyes and then turning to face Mr Richards as he cleared his throat to start the lecture.

As the lecture ended I packed my notes away when I heard a familiar voice ask, "Izzy, can we talk?" I looked up to find Harry studying me with hopeful eyes.

"I have nothing to say to you Harry."

"Then you can just listen." He replied, his voice firm. I looked around the room wondering if Andy was still here. "Andy left." Harry told me, answering my thoughts.

I went to tell Harry no and tell him what an arse he was and how I never wanted to talk to him again when my curiosity kicked in and I wondered what he could possibly want to say. "Fine, you wanna talk then fine." I told him as I began walking out of the classroom. When I didn't hear footsteps behind me I sighed and turned around. "Come on then." That was all I needed to say as Harry curtly nodded and began walking behind me as I led us away from the campus.

I walked towards a wooden bench that was situated at the edge of a stretch of grass that had a handful of students walking across, and sat down on it on one side and Harry tentatively sat down at the other side of the bench, leaving a respectable distance between us.

"You want to talk, so talk." I told Harry as he eyed me warily as if he wanted to say something, but paused to look at the view ahead of us. Autumn was well under way as the leaves on the tree were starting to golden, with a few scattered on the ground already.

"I don't know where to begin." Harry began as he ran a hand through his lock of curls that seemed to fall perfectly into place. "I don't do relationships Izzy, you know that." Really? He brought me here to rub in what we had fought over?

"Great start." I stated sarcastically and Harry sighed shaking his head.

"Let me finish. I had a girlfriend once and let's just say that the relationship didn't end well at all. After that I always told myself that I wouldn't fall in-love ever again because I couldn't go through that again. And I was doing fine until you came into my life. You made me rethink everything. You made me question the life that I had promised myself that I would live. Izzy, you made me feel things that I didn't want to feel and I didn't know how to react to that. I refused to allow myself the feelings you were giving me which is why I did what I did I guess." Harry told me and I just shook my head and sighed.
Lying is all he ever does, and I certainly wasn't buying this one. He doesn't care about me, not now, not ever. After all he did he can't just tell me that his motive was because of his feelings for me. No. He made me feel so stupid for ever trusting in him. He betrayed me and he can't expect me to just get over it so simply.

“I should go; I don't have time for your games Harry." I told him, standing up.

"This isn't a game, Izzy." Harry replied with his voice firm enough to almost fool me that he was being honest. Almost.

"No? So I’m not competing for you along with every other girl here that I am just the same as?" I asked, quoting back Harry from our argument last week and guilt flooded Harry’s features.

“I didn’t mean that.” Harry says quietly and I shake my head, reluctantly sitting down again.

“So you said it to hurt me then?” I ask him and Harry remains quiet, answering my question. “That doesn’t make what you said any better Harry.” I tell him, and he inhaled a shaky breath.

“I have fucked up so much with you Izzy, I know I have, but I don’t want this to be how it is for us. I like being around you, I do, and I hate not talking to you.” Harry confessed and I inhaled a deep breath. Could I believe him? After everything that had happened and he had done to me, could I trust that he was being honest? As I thought about it, this was the pattern of Harry and I’s relationship; it’s good, Harry fucks up, Harry apologises and then the cycle repeats; so should I make the same mistakes?

“This happens every time Harry. You’ve said this too many times and I don’t want to forgive you only for us to end up in this exact same position one week later.” I confess to Harry, looking at him straight in his mesmerising eyes.

“I don’t want to end up in that position again either Izzy, I don’t like hurting you Izzy.” Harry says, with his eyes trained on the floor.

“If we do this,” I began and Harry’s eyes shoot up to focus on me, “then I need it to be on my terms, and for us to move slowly.” I tell Harry and his face breaks into a painfully beautiful smile.

“Whatever you want, Izzy, just let me know.” Harry told me, staring intensely into my eyes and I gave him a small smile in return.

“Ok then.”