Angels

*****
(Teegan's POV)

"Almost done, just have to finish the shading." It was the one month marking of Chester's death today and I was in the last of the five hour process of getting his portrait tattooed across my whole chest with the words "My Forever" underneath it. That was always our signature phrase we said to each other, so I felt it was only right to add it in. The scar had finally healed on my arm too, so I had gotten that done over as well. Zacky sat there patiently waiting for me to be finished, peeking over his shoulder every so often to see the progress. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I knew we had gotten closer again. He practically moved in on my sofa, only going home every other week to get some clothes or things. I had spent a lot of time with Matt and Val too, thankful that I got every opportunity to spend time with my nephew River. To be completely honest, it just felt good to finally be able to feel somewhat normal again.

Of course I still cried and begged for Chester every night, but at least the flashbacks and little reminders of him I had made it a little bit easier. "Okay hun, we're done." The artist, Leah said as she wiped at the finished product and covered it with some spray. She handed me a mirror and I instantly broke into tears. It looked so realistic, so perfect, it was too amazing to describe in words. Zacky was at my side in a split second, his mouth dropping open in awe as he saw it. "Damn Tee, that's fucking beautiful. It's like if he's actually here." I seemed to cry harder at that, so he hugged me to his side tighter. "Hey don't cry, this is a good thing, remember? He would be so happy." I sniffled wiping my eyes when the woman handed me a box of tissues. "Thank you so, so much. I could never have asked for something more beautiful." She smiled greatly, shaking my hand. "He was a great guy, loved his music too. You two were a power couple." We talked about Chester some more and about setting up another appointment soon so I could get some more work done before I thanked her again tremendously for the amazing work she did on my tribute to him. She took a picture for her album once I paid her and soon after we left.

"Thank you again Zee, for being so patient with me all morning." I said to Zacky as we got in his car. He placed his hand on top of mine, squeezing it gently. "This is your day. I just want to help you with anything you need." I smiled at him, leaning over to place a kiss on his cheek. I noticed a light blush creep onto his face when I pulled back, making me chuckle. "Uh so, did you wanna go to the cemetery now?" He stuttered a bit which only made me laugh a little harder before I answered him. "Yeah, please." He simply nodded with a small smirk tugging at his lips. "Only if you promise to stop laughing at me." I sighed with a shrug of my shoulders. "Yeah I suppose so. It's just kinda cute to see you so flustered." He shook his head as it was his turn to laugh now. "So now I'm cute?" I wrinkled my nose up, suddenly feeling a wave of grief hit me as I stared out of the window. "I guess." My voice suddenly flattened, the happy feeling quickly disappearing with it.

Zacky just kept his hand on top of my knee as he drove, the rest of the ride staying completely silent except for the radio which I turned up louder when I had heard the mention of Chester's name. "Today we honor the life of Chester Bennington on his one month passing, hoping that his wife, family and friends are healing. This song is for his memory, we miss you man.". Suddenly 'Leave Out All The Rest' came on, the tears freely falling from my eyes as I mumbled the words along quietly to myself. Every time I heard that song, it instantly brought back all the memories up til the night he had left me with it, especially since that was Chester's song of choice to always sing to me at almost every show including his final one.

"You are so complicated, I swear you should have came with an instruction manual!" Chester yelled as he laughed uncontrollably afterwards. He was in the process of trying to help me curl my hair for a photo shoot a magazine wanted to do of us together and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get the curls to stay put. I laughed as he grew more frustrated, eventually throwing up his hands in defeat and tossing the curling iron to the side. I stood up from the chair and pulled his face to mine as he frowned. "Baby, I don't care what my hair looks like. I just care about being with you." I then pressed my lips to his in a warm kiss, his eyes fluttering closed as he wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me closer against him. "I never could have asked for someone more perfect then you." He said softly once we pulled away. I smiled happily, resting my head against his chest as he still held me in his arms tightly. "You're so amazing, babe. I'd be lost without you. You love me for who I am and that, is the best type of love ever." He smiled down at me, pressing another soft kiss to my lips "We really were meant to be, Teegan. Just like Jack and Sally."

When we finally had pulled into the cemetery, I shook my head free of the flashbacks before I got out quietly with my flowers in hand heading to Chester's grave site. It was hard not to miss it as it has been completely decorated by gifts, flowers, balloons and all things of that sort by fans and our friends who had visited frequently. I dropped to my knees as I dusted off the headstone, placing a kiss on his picture. The wind seemed to pick up as it whipped around me, my hair blowing in the breeze. "Hi baby, it's me. I got you tattooed on me today. I felt it was the only real way to always keep you with me. I brought you some flowers too." I was talking softly as I laid them down beside the stone. "You don't know how much I miss you Chester. I just really miss you. Our house is now really just a living museum of us. Mike and his wife had helped me make a display case for all your records and things, it's really beautiful. I wish you could see everything." The tears trickled down my face, some falling onto the grave. The wind seemed to whisper in my ears, almost as if it was Chester's way of answering me. "I love you, Chester. I love you so goddamn much. You don't know how bad I need you. I just wish that I could see you one more time, spend one more day with you. I would never take anything for granted, I am just so sorry." I sobbed loudly now, throwing myself back down on to the ground.

I suddenly felt a pair of arms wrapped around my waist, my eyes being met with Zacky's bright green ones. He put a hand to my face, stroking my cheek softly. "Tee, he's always here with you. Even though you can't see him, he is. When the wind blows against you, when the goosebumps come to your skin, that's him. That's his way of saying he's there for you Teegan." I quieted down some as he talked, just staring into Zacky's eyes. They had a calming effect to them, reminding me so much of Chester's big brown ones. I found myself moving closer towards him, our faces just inches away from each other. The longer I looked at Zacky the more he started to resemble Chester. I knew it was just my mind running freely, but it somehow seemed comforting. "Teegan, I know that you belong to him. I know that you're still healing and it's barely been a month, but I just can't seem to lose my feelings. I've gotten to become so close to you again, it just feels so good." I shook my head, finally looking away.

"Zee, I can't. It's not a good time to even think about that. I still can't let myself-" He cut me off guard when he pressed his lips firmly against mine. I wanted to fight him off but instead found myself giving in, the familiar feeling of being loved by someone coming back to me.

And it scared the hell out of me.

(Zacky's POV)

When I pulled away from her I could instantly see the hurt and confusion mixed in her facial expression. I felt like a complete piece of shit for doing that to her, especially at his grave site. But I just couldn't stop myself from doing it. "Teegan wait I'm-Fuck I am so sorry." She didn't say anything in response, instead she kissed the headstone quickly before rushing off in the direction towards the car. I followed closely behind her trying to catch my breath. We got in without saying a word to each other, she kept her gaze fixed out the window as I started on the drive back to her house. I could hear the faint sounds of her crying and sniffling as I kept the radio low.

It took about a good fifteen minutes until we had finally reached her driveway. There were a few cars scattered around her house, people taking pictures, leaving flowers. Thankfully Teegan had hired a police patrol to help keep away too many visitors, but she didn't really mind them as long as they paid their respects and left. Once I cut off the engine, she didn't hesitate to get out. I watched as a couple of people wearing Linkin Park shirts handed her flowers and balloons, which she gratefully accepted and thanked them before going inside the house.

Before I finally got out and headed to the front door, I noticed the sky had started to change greatly, beginning to turn a hazy type of gray, the sun immediately being blocked by the clouds. I looked up again, seeing that this time there was a slight drizzle that had began to fall. "I'm so sorry man, I didn't mean to disrespect you like that, I'm just starting to fall for her all over again so bad. Please, don't take it out on her. She doesn't deserve it." It was my turn now to see what type of sign I would receive, but the rain only seemed to get stronger. When I eventually went inside, I noticed she wasn't in the living room or the bathroom. I decided to check around upstairs, finally finding her in her bed, her face buried in his pillow to help silence her sobbing. "I am really sorry still, Teegan. I really hope you can forgive me." I said softly to her. She just kept her face hidden as she practically cried herself to sleep. I decided it was best to keep my distance, staying back downstairs and sitting on the couch to watch t.v.

I felt like I had just tore her world apart again for the last time.